I found it rly mean about serius's brother:(
But other than that,pretty good Report Review
I really like the idea that when he brought her back in his memories and she wished it, she looked like she did. It even makes a lot of sense. Love it! Great job :)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I didn't even know that was going to happen until I wrote it so I'm extremely happy that it made sense. Thank you for the review. :D Report Review
Yet another review! I do hope you are enjoying receiving your gift as much as I am giving it to you :) I really do enjoy your pieces, they're good reads that, well for me, leave me wanting to write more myself. OK, onto the review.
Although these types of stories aren't my cup of tea, you seem to have made it work for your piece. I really liked the natural flow of dialogue that you had going on, it didn't seem flat or staged, it flowed well and had a natural tone to it. With the use of this dialogue it seemed to flow well with the rest of this chapter, which, in turn, made the whole piece flow well.
However, this piece did seem slightly rushed and at some point seemed a little flat and cliche, I think that maybe by making some more original plot lines and adding more description would make it more original and therefore open it up to a wider audience.
I did like the little jab at Peter with the acting, it's how i thought Peter would have been treated within the Marauders and had be giggling a little.
Overall, although it wasn't my cup of tea, I can see that you tried to make it original and it flowed well nicely. I really hope you don't take this too harshly. :D Report Review
Adorable. Absolutely adorable.Author's Response: Aww thanks! Report Review
Hiya! This chapter definitely unfolded cleverly, but I wish it wasn't so rushed. I wanted to know more about Sirius--just because you've built him so nicely--why he can use Dumbledore's penseive whenever, how close of friend he was with Immy... Basically, I really enjoyed reading it and therefore wanted more.
Also, I really liked when she started to transform again that she kept her bunny slippers! That's terrific!Author's Response: I have trouble with rushing stories. I'm getting better slowly! And to let you in on a little secret - Dumbledore let Sirius use his pensive because he knew what happened with some of the Regulus stuff and leaving home problems. In my mind anyway. This is the one story I think I may (and by may I mean in like months/years) do a sequel to. Just maybe.
That was a little something for my own entertainment. I laughed a lot when I wrote it. People gave me weird looks. Glad you enjoyed it to! Report Review
Hi again :-)
Just curious, how do you pronounce Immy? I've never heard that name before and I like it.
I know I said this when I reviewed your other story, but you're quite fantastic at building these layers to your writing. It's not all just face value. I really like how this is shaping up to be a coming-of-age story rather than just a romance. It's integrating multiple genres, and therefore, it's awesome :-)Author's Response: Immy ... umm ... there we go! Think Ummy (like um with an e on the end) then turn it to a I sound! I think thats the best way I can explain it. Its short for Imogen, if I didn't put that in the story. And again with the layers, i've got a whole secret world behind each story ;). I was having a bit of confidence troubles when I wrote it so it turned into a coming-of-age story not willingly but now I love it. I love your reviews! Report Review
WOWAuthor's Response: Wordless! WOW! Now I am wordless! Thanks so much! Hugs,
:) Report Review
I loved it! It was very sweet and the ending was perfect! It didn't drag, didn't go too fast in my opinion either. It was perfect! :)
I absolutely loved how they went into Dumbledore's office and seeing the memory! That was a really creative idea! Great job! :)Author's Response: Thanks! I was worried that maybe it was a choppy, changing from all those ideas. The ending was completely spur of the moment.
:) Report Review
I loved it. You know, I've read many fics with Cinderella themes but I think this one is one of my favorites. It's got some original twists to it and I like that. I love Immy and I can definitely relate to her with some things. Sirius seems like how I imagined him, sweet on the inside. I can't wait for the second half. :)Author's Response: Yay! I hoped that no one would think of it as clichÃ©. I love the original twists. The second half will be up soon, I promise.
:) Report Review
very nice! love that you added in characters from the books (Regulus, Kingsley Shacklebolt) way better than having randoms!
Can't wait for P2!
Rosie_PosieAuthor's Response: Aw thank you Rosie! When I was writing it I had HPFF up and was looking down the list of characters. Keep an eye out for part 2!
HPB Report Review
I really do like your story. I like how you didn't cut it off right there. Most short story authors leave you hanging. Not that I don't enjoy the suspense, it just nags at my conscienceness. And I really don't care if I spelled that wrong. Please update soon!Author's Response: I'm very glad you liked it. It would probably bug my mind to if I left it at that, and I wrote it!
I can't spell either! :)
It will probably be up over the next week
Thanks for reading, Hugs!
:) Report Review
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