Reading Reviews for Moonlit Silhouettes
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roots in Water Moonlit Silhouettes

18th July 2012:
Oooh- I don't think I've ever read a Dean/Seamus story before and I think that you did a good job with this rare pairing. I'd never imagined them as more than friends before but it certainly could- and does- work!

To begin, I liked how you used the contrast in the beginning about what beauty is to describe the place they were in. It was a very good opportunity to do so and, because your description was of a naturally beautiful place, it lent a seriousness to Dean's feelings because it showed that Dean's feelings for Seamus were deep, that he had only eyes for Seamus.

As well, I liked that you explored Dean's uncertainty in this piece. This was a very momentous occasion in his life and you made that clear here.

However, I felt that, at certain moments, at least, that your language was a little too flowery, or overly descriptive, for a male. Though I knew that it was Dean speaking, some of the descriptions sounded as though they had been thought/spoken by a girl instead.

All in all, I think that you created an interesting story about the first kiss and the following revelations about their feelings between Dean and Seamus. Good job!

Author's Response: I commented on this but I guess it didn't take *angry face*

That's an interesting thought that you pointed out. The floweriness, the over-descriptiveness of the language used here gives it a feminine feel. That's something I'll have to keep an eye out for. I believe you're the first to point this out so thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm glad that I was able to convey such a rare pairing well too you. I appreciate your reading and reviewing of my story. Thanks a lot.

--Axjion


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Review #2, by alicia and anne Moonlit Silhouettes

14th August 2011:
Awww! at the beginning I had no idea that this was about him and Seamus but as soon as I read his name at the end I let out a loud "aww!"
They are so cute together, especially Dean with his grins and the butterflies in his stomach! I am so happy for them!
You have now conformed me to be a Dean and Seamus shipper!

Alicia and anne
Slytherin

Author's Response: I've replied to this 2348792342 times in about a year then gave up lets see if it goes through this time. Thank you, thank you, thank yo for reading and I'm happy that I was able to catch you a little offguard with that. I love doing that with writing. And I admit, Seamus/Dean = LOVE.

I've been thinking about getting back into writing so I hope you come back for more sooner or later. Regards,

--Axjion


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Review #3, by schoenemaedchen Moonlit Silhouettes

20th October 2010:
Hey there,

First of all, thanks for dropping by and requesting a review. So nice to see people pop up more than once on the boards.

I was also quite giddy that it was only 500 words--I thought this challenge was always brilliant. It's a nice break for me to read something short, concise, and to the point.

Your story is concise and to the point, but so incredibly powerful and poetically beautiful at the same time. Reading this was kind of like a powerful BAM for me. Yes, that was a compliment.

Your ways with imagery are just beautiful and breathtaking without being corny, trite, or wordy--something I think that is very difficult. You make a slash pairing seem real and feasible, something that is difficult to do considering its not necessarily canon.

This is the exact reason why I still do read slash--because there are just as many talented "slash authors" (even if you write other things as well) out there as ...well...non slash authors. I think literature has a lot of potential in every facet of life, and you were able to bring it across in your writing so wonderfully!

Thanks so much for requesting this for a review, it was truly a joy!!

-Katie

Author's Response: You're welcome and thanks!

Oh, yes. I adored the challenge too. I don't know if it was that, as you say, the stories had to be short, concise and to the point... well, maybe the concise part. The thought that someone could tell a story in so few words is something that really intrigued me.

Ahaha. Thanks for pointing out the compliments. But really, thank you. I'm very happy to know that you felt it was powerful and poetic, and also a sort of BAM moment for you. As a writer, as long as the point comes across powerfully to the reader, that's all that matters.

Without being corny, trite and wordy -- there's where I wipe the sweat from my forehead. You're the first person to bring up all three of these things that I was a little worried about, and you say I wrote without these flaws. I appreciate that.

Again, thank you for reading! And you know, I feel the same about slash; that it can be easily as powerful and meaningful as ... whatever you would call non-slash. People just. Need not judge from the bad they have read.
--Axjion


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Review #4, by IwRiTe4mE Moonlit Silhouettes

17th October 2010:
the descriptions in this are very good. im not usually one for slash, but this is such a well written piece and i enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks!

Many people aren't for slash, however, I think if they find a good one, they can learn that it's actually no different from regular pieces if given the right attention.

I did read your story, Puppy Love. I typed a whole pages worth as a response, pressed post, and it said I had to be signed in to post a message. (Was signed in, so *angryface*) ill try reposting tomorrow.
--Axjion


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Review #5, by Adrielne Moonlit Silhouettes

14th October 2010:
Hi!

I don't know why I clicked on this story. Maybe it's because the summary sounded like some lighthearted fluff, and nothing's better to read than that at nerly 5am? Or maybe it's more of the fact that I've been stalking your profile for the past hour since posting my blog... :P

Anyways! On to the story!

No, it was none of the reasons I mentioned above. It was the fact that you managed to sum up a scene in as little as five hundred words that intrigued me. Intrigued and... Well, we'll get to that in a bit, first I want to talk about the words.

Your word choice is really good in this piece. If it was just a normal story, I'd say it was a bit forced, but seeing as you had to fit it into EXACTLY that number of words... I can let a few overdescriptive moments go :)

But there's critique.

I don't like slash. Dean/Seamus is like killing bunnies, at least to me it is. It's good you only had them kiss and that you managed to describe it in a way that focused on what Dean felt instead of describing in a very "play by play" way what happened.

I don't like romantic lake scenes. Especially not when they're fluffy and at night and the moon is out and the stars are bright. But you let the setting work towards your story instead of against it, the surroundings made the whole scene all the more unrealistically perfect (therefore more bearable for me). Not unrealistic, but giving us the "just like heaven" feeling. Or, for pessimists, "any time now, everything will come crashing down".

Then there's the very descriptive voice you used. The plot of this comprised of Dean standing in the moonlight looking at Seamus and then them kissing for a short period of time. You didn't need all those adjective-ful and adverbified sentences. But they added to the setting, which in a way required this almost Harlequin fluff to keep it alive. And it worked perfectly with the scene and characters.

So, where's the critique you ask? I just finished saying it. Three things I didn't like, but all added to the story. That either makes me a really bad reader or you a really good writer. And since I know I'm not that bad at reading stories, it must be the second.

Great job! 8/10 because I can't bear to give a slash fic a 9 or 10.

Author's Response: This seems to happen to me all the time: I spend like an hour replying and the entire reply doesn't go through. GR.

Stalking my page were you? I'm sorry, I had gone to med. You see, my eyes weren't agreeing with me and kept closing.

You're just like me: the 500 word limit to this challenge is what really sparked my interest, the reason I fell in love with the challenge.

Thanks. For liking my word choice for this. I have been told a few times that I am almost dramatically overdescriptive. I think its because of my, what people tell me, very poetic and metaphorical voice. I just like the use of strong literary elements to portray things.

This is what surprises me: you don't like slash. My jaw dropped. And you compare it, for yourself, to killing bunnies. I'm going to try and change your opinion. ;)

Oh, you noticed! I was purposely trying to avoid the "play by play" ranchy oversexed crapple that is your average slash. I, as you said, focused more on his feelings.

Feelings are often a focus of mine. I admit it. It has its pros and cons.

You don't like starry, moony, lakey romantic scenes? *divorces you* I didn't remember until now, but I recall why I made the scene so colorful and romantic. Firstly because Dean was the artsy character in the books. Secondly, and this one goes without saying, I wanted the reader to experience that perfect moment where one comes to the realization that they're alongside their first love. The magic, the dreamy atmosphere, the the feeling that no other beauty can compare to this one, this moment. Fortunately, I assume that you took this sort of message from it; you go on to say that I made it (the setting) work for the story, giving it the idealistic "just like heaven" air.

Now, the adjectiveful and adverbified (I'm using my ninja skillae to steal these words from you) phrases can be a little much, I suppose. Do you think I should tone it down?

Almost that of a Harlequin romance? Never read one myself. I'm not a romance novel fan, really.

Thank you so much for the wonderful, detailed review. Ill take all things into consideration.

I think I'm forgetting something I said the first time I tried to write this response... oh, well... if I think of it, I'll tell you in the forums.
--Your Ninja buddy, Axjion


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Review #6, by CheeringCharm Moonlit Silhouettes

9th October 2010:
This is so pretty, I just love your writing!
reason to why I read it was the amazing only 500 words, so I didn't read anything of what it was about... so I was surprised, though I really like the way you make it slash because I didn't expect that! and it just shows how love has no borderlines...
your writing is amazing I love the way that you make every word carry you further, the poetic way of this...
Very good and beautiful story, I'm deffinitely veryvery impressed!
*hugsies*

Author's Response: Oh em gee! Cheery, you came to review! 5hank you, thank you.

This story was written for Ilia's Every Word Counts Challenge, the idea of which was to write a one-shot of exactly 500 words. It took some brainstorming and motivation, but I finally got the whole idea down to that many words.

I suppose I did use a lot of metaphors and imagery, making my prose a little poetic, but it's something I usually can't help. Especially with a fic this length.

I'm glad that you appreciated the slashiness of this. Most people are turned off by slash, a lot of it being, well, smut, and with this I wanted to aim for something more meaningful, you know?

Anyway, *hugsies back* Thanks a million times for reading.
--Axjion



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Review #7, by katebabelovesharrypotter Moonlit Silhouettes

8th October 2010:
That was...wow. You definitely embraced the idea of "every word counts". I love your writing. It's so poetic, it takes my breath away. I just fall into the world you paint and happily drown in the colors. I'm seriously in awe of you. This was fantastic!

Author's Response: :D

Embracing the idea that every word counts, that they all play an equally important and definitive part; I suppose that that was what the challenge was about.

You always have such squeeful compliments. Poetic and breathtaking? You fall into the world I paint and drown in the colors? ~ thank you so much.

Ahaha, if I had known you enjoyed slash, i'd have asked for a review sooner! In any case, ill have to start reviewing some of your stories soon. Reviews are not a one+way street.
--Axjion


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Review #8, by Cleopatraa Moonlit Silhouettes

18th August 2010:
Wow! This was a really amazing piece. Your first paragraph was very poetic nad the line after that was great. The way you describe things is just fantastic. Sorry that I have to say this I hate slash stories, have nothing against it but itís just not my thing so thatís why Iím just pretending it wasnít a slash story. Whistles innocently. But you really did a great job with this!

Author's Response: Sorry, I hadn't responded sooner; I've been busy with college things, but hey, thanks so much for reading, especially since it wasn't your cup of tea. I wanted to suggest that even things that are so aesthetically pleasing to everyone would not compare to what Dean held in his eyes. It excites me that it was so well-received.
--Axjion


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Review #9, by hallowsorhorcruxes Moonlit Silhouettes

7th February 2010:
What an incredible piece of writing! Honest- this is one of the best one-shots I've read, and the fact that it's only 500 words is simply... amazing.

The subtlety of the poetry interchanging with prose is absolutely phenomenal! In my opinion the foremost example is when the first paragraph, sounding so much like a calm & beautiful poetry, shifts to the next line: "But none of it is beautiful." I mean... wow. I was utterly floored.

And of course, needless to say, its an absolutely beautiful moment. :) 10/10! :) Super awesome job. Cheers- Hallows

Author's Response: I'm so very sorry that it's taken me months to respond. I've been so very busy, -- college + no internet = badbadbad.

I want to thank you so much for reading and receiving so well this piece. I had a lot of fun writing it, I recall, and was so enthused to post it.

I feel very complimented that you see my prose as having such soft, more poetic feel; from what I understand, many authors have a hard time pulling it off.

Ah, and yes, that line. I had put so much thought into that line, and I'm so glad I did: it paid off so well!

I guess when you put so much feeling into your writing, so much passion, your readers can actually grasp it, as though it were a tangible thing.

Thanks a millionfold for reading and commenting.
-Axjion


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Review #10, by _DearMyLove_ Moonlit Silhouettes

15th September 2009:
That was brilliant!

The first paragraph reads like poetry, but then the next line down undercuts it. At that point I knew I was not going to be reading just another flowery story.

The whole piece was written really well, but I especially liked the final paragraph. The line 'he is shameless yet' held, for me, a double meaning. Shameless sounds very much like Seamus, so to read out loud it sounds as thought Dean is declaring that he IS Seamus...he feels so close to him at that moment that they are almost one person. And then the image of the moon waning but Dean's feelings waxing...it was just perfect.

I think this piece is a perfect example of what the challenge you wrote it for is all about. Writing can become something amazing if you just cut the fat and leave only what is absolutely necessary. Just out of interest, how long was your first draft? Did you need to cut a lot, or were you pretty much on the 500 word mark the first time round??

This was a beautiful piece of writing, thanks for sharing it :)
10/10 :D

Author's Response: *Blushes* I'm happy you found this piece to be "brilliant"! Quite an honor. And yes, the line "But none of it is beautiful," really did its job.

You've read this in a way that none of my other reviewers have yet. You noticed two of my favorite lines. The metaphor about their love in comparison with the moon was something I had to think about. I'm glad it turned out so well. (You're actually the first person to point that out.) However, the line "he is shameless yet" wasn't meant to do what it did for you, but of course I'm happy it did. (You really thought outside the box here.) That symbolism you thought that line holds does work perfectly to describe the boys.

Again, I'm happy you liked this and that you feel it is an exceptional example of what the challenge I wrote it for is sall about. This is actually the first draft here. I had problems getting it to be 500 words, actually. I had to keep typing more descriptions, keep switching paragraphs around and keep thinking of newer and more illustrious symbolisms and metaphors.

I hope this has inspired you to check out more of my writing!
-Axjion


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Review #11, by taylorj828 Moonlit Silhouettes

7th September 2009:
That was lovely. (o: The first paragraph was very poetic. I got lost in your imagery. (o: And the line immediately after - so contrary. It's excellent juxtaposition!

This is a real piece of prose here. I enjoy how you explore Dean's feelings, and the detail you've put into this small clip, this tender scene, when friendship turns into something else. It's really gorgeous, and reads unlike fanfic. It reads like literature. (o: The vocabulary and phrasing are really wonderful, unique, specific, and conjuring mental images...

And exactly 500 words? That's incredible! (o:

Author's Response: :) Haha. Yes. The juxtaposition! I wanted the reader to feel as if only the feeling of love is beautiful! I hope it worked! And I've been getting a lot of compliments saying it has a poetic feel, but you've gone further and said that it reads unline a fanfic and more alike literature. That's awesome.

I'm very happy you enjoyed how I explored his feelings and how I developed this one very particular scene. I'm glad also that you loved the way I phrased things ~ some find it somewhat alluring.

I loved that challenge a lot; I felt it really tested me! I hope this was enough for you to return to read more of my stories!
-Axjion


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Review #12, by Canary in the Mine Moonlit Silhouettes

6th September 2009:
I adored this.

The feeling throughout it all, I almost BURST wanting to know what was going on. In fact, in the end, I let out a huge breath I hadn't known I'd been holding XD I loved the decsriptions and the way you simply wrote everything XD

The way you started was amazing. You outlined a beautiful scene, full of wonder and mystery, and then softened it, by saying that it wasn't beautiful at all.

I think that's what really got my attention, because from there, it only went higher and higher until finally rushing down.

The last paragraph was an amazing ending, btw. I've real glorious oneshots that end terribly XD but I love the ending here, so YAY ^_^

Anyhow, wonderful job. I loved it (:

Author's Response: :D I wrote this for Ilia's challenge, (obviously) and it had to be 500 words. I was skeptical at first but it turned out beautifully!

Not many have complimented on that line: "But none of it is beautiful." That is perhaps my favorite line. I'm happy you enjoyed it too. I wasn't sure if that line would come across right, and I'm thoroughly glad it did with you.

The last paragraph took some time to write but I'm happy you liked that too. I felt rather clever upon making a reference back to the beginning of the story, and using the moon as a metaphor to their feelings. *Feels poetic* Usually, I'm not so witty!

I'm very pleased you enjoyed it! I'm too lazy to get a banner for it, but maybe one day.

Thank you for the review!
-Axjion


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Review #13, by Alopex Moonlit Silhouettes

4th September 2009:
Hmm . . . the every word counts challenge. You definitely created a very powerful impression and image in a short space, which is impressive. I did think some of your wording, particularly in the first paragaph or so, was a little . . . I don't know. Lofty? I like to see writers using a larger vocabulary, but sometimes too many descriptive words obscure the meaning.

I'm just picky sometimes. Actually, the detailed description in the first paragraph did add to the romantic feeling of the entire piece, so I'm all right with it. Obviously, you've written in prose, but your writing here, particularly at the beginning, does remind me of poetry. That's fitting for an "every word counts" challenge, since that's one of the points of poetry anyway.

What I like best, though, as in your Gabrielle by the lake with Dennis story (sorry, I'm lousy at remembering titles), is the dreamy mood you impart. I've already said it once tonight, but lately I've read quite a few dreamy-type things, and the style really speaks to me. I very much enjoyed the sensation I had here of . . . well, how to describe it? Almost as if I was looking through swirled glass, with mist and colors dancing in and out, still air that still feels refreshing, quietness, solitude. The overall effect was lovely.

I've just deleted several versions of a sentence I was trying write here, but I can't make it sound right. What I want to say is that I find this dreamy style has a far greater romantic potential than a story about characters snogging. That's because this style makes a story feel romantic whether the actual material is or not, while other stories can be "about" romance without being romantic. I hope that made sense.

In a very round-about way, I'm saying that I liked this one-shot and I enjoy your writing style.

Author's Response: I was almost confused by what you were trying to say. But only almost.

I don't know how I end up writing things in a dreamy sort of way sometimes. I mean, with the Gabrielle & Dennis story (it's okay that you don't remember the title; I never remember names of things either) -- with the G&D story, I wanted it to feel that way, this one just turned out like this.

I think I understand what you mean: this style gives a romantic feeling to something even if that something isn't necessarily romantic. And that you find other stories about romance that are sometimes not romantic. I'm happy you feel a romantic quality to my writing.

I've been getting a lot of comments that my prose has a poetic air too, (well, with some metaphors and such I use). I like the idea of prose being poetic. I feel that deep emotion (for me) is easier to convey through poetry; although I'm terrible at poetry.

I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this one-shot, I thoroughly enjoyed writing it. And that you like my writing style--that makes me blush a little! Thank you for this amazing review!
-Axjion


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Review #14, by Lovely_Slytheriness Moonlit Silhouettes

3rd September 2009:
Here i am, as requested.

Firstly, i must say that you are an amazingly gifted writer. Your descriptions are fantastic, they painted such a vivid and touching image. I love description, especially done so well and with a great flow.

I adore the way Dean reflects upon the situation, as though it's just Too Good To Be True. It was truly sweet and sincere.

The kisses are quicker this time, without refrain; by themselves, they bring end to his query, giving definition to his unnamed feelings. This was it. It was beautiful. It was what heíd suspected all along, what heíd been afraid to admit; he was in love. The kisses were only an expression to prove it, without words and with such charisma almost sinful. Body against body, face to face, lips against lips, soul to soul.

This part is brilliant. The hesistant realisation that they truly are in love, perfectly portrayed in a calm, versatile prose.

Moreover, I'm very impressed that you manage to deliver such strong emotions throughout the entire piece in such few words and no dialogue. Very impressive indeed. I always found Dean/Seamus lovely, when written well.

I also love the way you wrap it all up in the end by referring to the first paragraph; it completes this short one-shot in a perfect way. Well done.

So... I just realised I didn't give you any constructive critisism, but I really can't see much room for improvement here. You've written an exquisite little story here, and I know it was for a 500 words challenge, but i still wish it was longer. ^_^

Also, your signature at the forum told me that you're a boy. i just wanted to say that i think we have way too few boys on here, and it's great to see someone as talented as yourself share their stories here.

So, to wrap it up - thank you for writing this marvellous piece. It was poetic, descriptive, touching and nothing more or less than truly enjoyable.

I will make sure to check out your other work, too.

- Lovely_Slytheriness

Author's Response: I'm so honoured to have gotten your first review (from your thread) and what a wonderful and thorough review it is!

I'm very happy you loved my descriptions, they turned out better than I had dreamt. I daresay, I do dabble in the occasional description. ><

Ah, yes. In retrospect, I think love would be something untrue at the moment. Something that you don't realize you're in until it's standing in front of you, face to face. And that paragraph you pointed out, I'm happy you liked it! Everyone seems to like different lines, and the final fragment in that paragraph seems popular. :)

I'm happy to hear also, that you felt I delivered so beautifully in something written with so few words. I suppose I was inspired: Dean/Seamus is, after all, my favorite pairing.

Furthermore, I almost didn't write the final paragraph to have a reference to the first one. (Shh! You're the only one I've told this!) I played around with it a little until I though that both a reference to the first paragraph, and another metaphor to the moon will tie everything together. "Moon is waning" and "Dean's feelings for Seamus are waxing." And thus the title was born ~ "Moonlit Silhouettes."

(Oh, yes. I AM MAN, *RAWR* haha~and there are too few of us.)

I'm so happy and fortunate to have such lovely reviews for this piece. I do hope you return to read some of my others as I progress here. Thank you very much for the lovely review!
-Axjion


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Review #15, by Ariana_Gryffindor Moonlit Silhouettes

2nd September 2009:
Hey this is Ariana here to review as requested.

Okay so, I will begin with, I love the description in this, itís beautiful. And the stunner at the end, the mention of the rouge blush on their cheeks definitely had me thinking female but wow it was Seamus. Didnít expect that at all. It is short so I donít have much to comment on but yeah, I really liked this.

Now Iíd like to give a piece of constructive criticism. In some paragraphs you repeat the one word a little too often; for example in this one:

ďHe smiles because he has never felt this way before; has never had these feelings, these surreal feelings, these unnamed feelings. He can not put his emotions into words.

The word ďtheseĒ - appears three times in the one sentence. Itís overused and rather breaks the flow a little, something sad in that because it is so beautifully written.

Hope I helped some.

AG

Author's Response: You're not the first one to not have expected Seamus. *Grins*

I'm very happy you loved the descriptions and felt it beautiful. However, I see what you mean about the word these, but if you say that about the word these, you could also say that about the word feelings, couldn't you? The repetition of the lines were meant to convey a dramatic effect about what he was feeling. As though his feelings were undefinable.

I hope yo enjoyed this little drabble for Ilia's challenge! Thank you very much for reviewing!
-Axjion


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Review #16, by Blissbug Moonlit Silhouettes

1st September 2009:
Lovely! Lovely! Lovely! Just the right amount to words.

So yes, finally here for your review, forgive the wait :)

I was worried about reading such a short piece. Often fan fiction writers can't seem to reign themselves in with smaller works, and the words just go anywhere and everywhere in a horrible meandering mess. Not so with this piece. You have just the right amout of build up and release, just the right amount of secrets and revelation.

You manage to capture the reader in the very beginning with such lucious descriptions, and the focus of phyiscal detials anchors the reader into the characters body, so well done.

I'll get repetitive if I keep on here, so I'll just say... LOVED IT!

10/10

BB

Author's Response: You weren't the only one worried about reading such a short piece! I'm undeniably proud that I've pleasantly surprised so many with so few words. I admit, I was so afraid (especially since it's slash) that it would be terribly received, but it's quite the opposite.

It makes me smile that you say I capture the reader at the beginning. "Lucious descriptions" is quite a compliment.

Also! You favorite me as an author *embarrassed smile* The ultimate compliment I could receive, and based from such a short piece! Thank you very much for your kind words and for your wonderful review!
-Axjion


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Review #17, by Pookha Moonlit Silhouettes

30th August 2009:
There's an art to writing a drabble/short one-shot and you have this art. You have to give enough description to keep the reader interested and you also have to have a self-contained plot that makes sense. You have both of those here.

I absolutely love the poetic way that you describe things here. It comes across like a gauzy dream, which is what I think you were trying to do. I find that we have quite different 'mental vocabularies,' but, I can see and understand yours. You make every word count as you evoke your style from your words effortlessly.

I've noticed you love the word 'bedizen' and I commented on it the last time. I've got to comment on it here again. 'Bedizen' has a connotation of gaudiness or bad taste that I find doesn't fit what you're portraying at the start. I know you're interested in linguisitics, so I thought I'd mention it, as the denotation that you would in a dictionary might not mention the connotation of gaudiness. If this is what you actually meant, then it's what I mean about our 'mental vocabularies' being different. That doesn't mean bad or wrong, just different. (For example, I detest Whitman and love Frost; which in some people's mind would make me a simple plebe, incapable of understanding Whitman's deepers meanings, etc.).

I love the drabble art form and I think is a marvelous example of how to craft one. This description of a tender encounter would work just as well if it were het, but as a male slash, it works wonderfully as well-it shows that men have pretty much the same feelings as girls when they're first encountering those first few loves.

Beautiful, poetic and artistic.

Author's Response: An art to writing drabble, never thought of it that way. I'm happy you feel I have the gift of such an art though.

Yes. I admit it. I love writing things to have an almost dreamy or surreal demeanor, especially those concerning love. I suspect that it, love, would feel at first as something unfathomable and untangible.

I had never known that the word bedizen had a connotation of gaudiness. I think I'll have ot keep that in mind (how I do love words with the letter z.) And I believe you're right again: that is not the connotation I would want suggested to my readers, so that word may have to change.

I think I understand what you mean by mental vocabularies. I suppose it goes hand and hand with connotation: how an individual has learned to perceive a word will affect how much it describes to them. ~ Or something of that nature.

I suspect that everyone has the same feelings upon that first encounter, and I'm glad that you could take that from this piece. It goes to show that people, no matter how different, were made the same.

Beautiful, poetic and artistic. You compliment me so.

Thank you for yet another wonderful review.
-Axjion


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Review #18, by AntigoneBlack Moonlit Silhouettes

29th August 2009:
Dude, first off I love slash. I will have to remember to add that when I make my next review thread... (And I call everybody dude)

I love the every word counts challenge, don't you? I think that you did beautifully! I like that you kept in descriptions, and adjectives when some people would let those be taken away to fit in the 500 words.

This slash was so subtle, and so beautiful, that I don't think anyone could take offense to it. It was just so natural. I loved it. I loved Dean in this scene as well. Very well done.

Author's Response: Dude! I say dude a lot too! (I just try not to type it often ;p)

I love the challenge a lot too. I think it really challenged me. I was skeptical at first with how I've done. My response to the challenge felt so different than everyone elses, but I'm glad to hear you feel I did beautifully.

I smiled widely when you said it was too subtle and beautiful for anyone to take offense to it. What a wonderful compliment, as I know many don't care much for slash!

I appreciate your wonderful review!
-Axjion


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Review #19, by eightfourseven Moonlit Silhouettes

28th August 2009:
You are an amazing writer! This is why I shake my head at review threads that say "NO SLASH!" I know it's their choice, but slash can be SO beautiful. I feel like slash has a bad name, but I have read a couple slash stories before this (all by the same author and Founders Era!) and they dealt so well with the emotional side of slash and I've been dying to find another beautiful slash piece. This is it. This is FANTASTIC. The opening paragraph is so beautifully written and the line after it is great. I love reading in present tense (I was THIS close to writing The Summer of the Rat in present!) and this is done so well. You use commas so well in your sentences. It's beautiful. Even when you get into the more physical stuff, it's beautiful and not like... the trashy, erotic, explicit stuff that comes to mind when one thinks of slash. Gorgeous work and added to favorites!

Author's Response: Waha! Thank you so very much! I do often wonder also what gives slash such a bad name on this site. Given the writer, I too believe that it can be amazing and beautiful. (Um, I have a favorite author who writes slash of the Founders Era, L J Conks, if you're interested! ~ He's very poetic and his works are stunning!)

I love all your comments about my work, this was short becauses of the challenge it was written for, but I tried to make it stand out among the others ! I want it to be as beautiful as I possibly could make it! I payed off, I suppose!

Thank you for the lovely, lovely review!


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Review #20, by Phoenix_Flames Moonlit Silhouettes

27th August 2009:
Oh my gosh! Axe, this was amazing! Like seriously.

You have a brilliant talent for descriptions. I loved this part so much:

for moon is waning, brewed of creamiest milk

Oh it's just so awesome. It captures the moment, the scene, the rush so perfectly! You were awesome with this; and this was awesome! Absolutely beautiful.

10/10

Author's Response: Your review makes me smile!

I'm so very happy you found it to be amazing. And that I have a "brilliant talent" for descriptions makes me smile widely.

Oh yes, that line! I read somewhere where someone wrote "milky moon" and I said to myself "I rather like that line, but can I take it to the next level?" I guess that was my attempt!

I enjoyed your review, as I always will! ~ I hope you come back to read more of my stories as I progress here!
-Axjion


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Review #21, by TwilightPrincess Moonlit Silhouettes

27th August 2009:
Hello! Sorry this is so late, but I'm really glad you took my challenge!

Oh, wow. This was so awesome. I love that you wrote this because I love the way you write. Your voice is strong and I feel like you really know what you are doing. Your prose only proves that. You write like poetry, did you know that? It's beautiful to read. I especially loved this line: Body against body, face to face, lips against lips, soul to soul. Beautiful.

If you had had any problems confining yourself to 500 words, I could not tell with this piece. Everything flowed perfectly and it felt so natural. Awesome.

Thanks for taking my challenge! I hope you enjoyed yourself ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Haha! Not too late, I suspect.

I'm happy you love the way I write ~ as though it's like poetry. Ah, it always makes me smile when people point out favorite lines. I really liked that line too!

I really enjoyed your challenge! I think it's my official favorite challenge (until the unlikely event I find one that I like better).
-Axjion


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Review #22, by Jane_Volturi Moonlit Silhouettes

27th August 2009:
Here and reviewing as requested.

Wow, you're writing was so amazing, i actually have goosebumps on my arms lol.

whatever i was expecting it wasn't that, i mean, at first i thought perhaps Dean was thinking about Ginny but when he kissed Seamus.wow. Usually i'm not that big a fan of slash but i really think Seamus and Dean go cute together. I'm so glad you asked me to review this, i enjoyed reading it, even though it was so short.

Your use of metaphoric language was brilliant as well, i could really picture everything clearly in my head, and you used such brilliant words to describe things. It's obvious you've taken a lot of creativity and effort to write this. It was a brilliant one-shot.

10/10
x

Author's Response: Goodebumps? Now that is quite a compliment!

Ahh, you were expecting Ginny! I'm happy that I fooled you - I love twists and other such things reader's wont guess. I agree very much also that Seamus and Dean make a cute slash couple! Cute, and to me, very tangible.

Your the first to comment as explicitly as you did on my metaphoric language. I'm happy someone found it so brilliant.
-Axjion


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Review #23, by confusedlover Moonlit Silhouettes

27th August 2009:
very lovely.

wow, this was certainly a wonderful one-shot. i have read quite a few of these one-shots for Ilia's challenge and i must say that everyone has been utterly amazing. this is definitely no exception. you did a beautiful job of creating the perfect setting for the two characters aligned with unmistakable descriptions. Dean's thoughts and worry seemed only normal in such a situation as he was faced with and so congratulations on keeping this as real as possible.

honestly, i wish that i could say more but it is sort of difficult to try and write a 500 word review on a five hundred word story if you know what i mean. long story short, i loved this and think that you did a beautiful job with everything from the very first word to the last. keep up the wonderful writing.

Author's Response: I gald you enjoyed reading ti as much as I enjoyed writing it -- as much as I enjoyed the challenge. I'm fortunate that you found the descriptions unmistakable and the Dean's emotions normal and realistic.

I know what you mean ~ writing a review on something short is a little more difficult, though I appreciate that you did review!
-Axjion


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Review #24, by DeaVanity Moonlit Silhouettes

27th August 2009:
Wow. That's all I have to say. ^^

Well not all obviously but you know... Anyway, this was really beautiful. I didn't think that the challenge would be so popular because 500 words doesn't give you much room to maneuver with words and descriptions and all, but you managed to write something that really has a lot of emotion (though the 'just right' amount) and leaves an impact on the reader (at least on me :) ).

I can't write slash for the love of Merlin (it just seems too...eh, I dunno, awkward when I write it *sigh*) but I like to read it (especially Dumbledore/Grindelwald ship though I didn't find a lot of them) and the way you wrote it felt so natural for Dean and Seamus (never thought about thembeing something more than friends, but there's a thought) to love each other :D .

It was cool how you repeated that line 'bout moon because it nicely fit in with the whole flow of the story ;D .

Anyhow, I have no other choice but to give this 10/10 because when I finished reading it, it left me with a smile on my face even though it was short (but you know - short and sweet ):D

~ DeaVanity

Author's Response: I daresay how I enjoy your reviews!

I don't know what it is about the challenge. I think it's that it really tests your abilities because it allows so few words that catches everyone's attention.

Seamus/Dean, besides Dumb./Grin., is the perfect slash ship in my opinion. It just makes so much sense ~ (and I guess they remind me of me and someone, lol)

(As a side note: Now, as you may know, I'm currently working on a Dumbledore/Grindelwald for my next project (after Silver Lake). I too find it to be a lovely ship that is so underappreciated! I hope you come to read that when it is up!)

Thank you for the lovely review! (And the comment on the moon, waha!
-Axjion


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Review #25, by Jazzeh Turnip Moonlit Silhouettes

27th August 2009:
This is stunningly beautiful. That first paragraph had me tearing up a little with how beautiful it was, and the repitition of it at the end was just... Wow.

I've read a few of the other "Every word counts" challenege submissions, but I like this one best. It's packed full of so much feeling and... poetic-ness? Everything just melts together and creates this wonderful image.

I have no choice but to give this a 10/10. It's a marvel that you've managed to pull something this good with just 500 words to work with. (P.S. I like how you cut out using the word "the" to get the word count down ^_^)

Author's Response: *Smiles blushingly*

You words are too kind! I had read the challenge and read some of the other entries and I was sad that no one had yet done a slash entry, and thus I just had to do it!

I can't stop blushing after your review. I'm glad you found it wonderful, full of emotion and poetic!

And I agree ~ leaving out the word "the" felt right to me. It gave it this something I couldn't explain!

I appreciate greatly this lovely review!
-Axjion


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