Beautiful! You sucked me in, and not enough people write about Peter Pettigrew! Report Review
This was a very interesting story about Peter and I loved the way you wrote it in short sentences.
Peter's always been a very interesting character to explore because, even though he was sorted into Gryffindor and became friends with the rest of the Marauders, he still betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort. It's been made clear that he did so out of fear (or, as some people like to theorize, that he did so because he "went Dark") but that doesn't answer everything about the situation. If he feared for his life, he could have gone into hiding with them. He could have refused to become the Secret Keeper.
Your story offers another perspective on this key character: he simply doesn't think ahead. He acts on impulse, based on what he is feeling at the moment. He wants to survive and his actions reflect that motive.
He lives because he doesn't know what else to do, because he fears the other possibilities.
As well, your story brings another interesting idea to light: the idea that Peter loathed himself. He wishes that he wasn't what he is, he wishes that he could change the way he acts, but he makes no move to actually go through with those changes. In particular I found the lines "Trust me when I say that I didnít intend to end up being like this. Actually, donít trust me. Even I donít trust myself. I never have. I donít have a self." very interesting because they clearly show how low he's sunk in life. He understands the driving motive behind his actions and knows that he is unpredictable.
Finally, I really liked your conclusion because it's the first true sign of regret that we see him have. For perhaps the first time, he thinks of someone other than himself, agrees with Sirius' sentiment that he should have died rather than betray them. It's too bad that this revelation comes to him in the moment of death, though I suppose that he wouldn't be able to live with himself after he realized this - he would have too much shame and regret.
All in all I think that you did a fantastic job with this story. You did a brilliant job exploring Peter's character. Report Review
This story is probably one of the deepest stories I have ever read. You really go deep into the character Peter Pettigrew, and you show a new side of him. I hate Peter, but I imagine most people do. But to see him so driven by fear made me feel sorry for him, made me think he really isn't so bad after all.
This story could've been in the books, if it hadn't been for the fact that it's from Peter's prospective. Your description is flawless, your characterization of Peter is amazing and I'm just shocked over how well-written this is. It is so amazing!
My favorite part is towards the end where he dies himself, and concludes that maybe death isn't so bad after all. Maybe he had nothing to fear. I think that could've been his last thoughts before died. This is a strong story, and I was very close to crying towards the end.
You are an exceptional author, cause only exceptional authors can write as good as this. Thank you for this story. I'm so glad it was this good.
LadyL8 Report Review
I always wonder why wonderful stories such as these are so overlooked. Is it because of the characters, or because they don't involve a ship?
In any way, I loved your one shot. I'm so glad I found it. It's been a while since I've wanted to read a story revolving around Peter only. I wanted to read about him stealing the spotlight. The main character playing on his own life stage. And you delivered an incredibly powerful and real Peter. His thoughts are so lost, desperate and feverish. They seem to swirl round and round. There are times when you almost feel like you can't make any sense of what he's thinking. You handled the moment you chose to write him in very well. I don't know why there is SO much Pettigrew hate around, because he is an incredibly different character. He has the enormous potential of providing endless layers to a story. If only people were brave enough to discover him. I'm greatly pleased that you were.
I loved how you used fear as his action booster. He is portrayed in the books as a coward, but your story is very special because it presents us with a different Peter than we're used to seeing in fanfiction (when he IS mentioned, that is :( ). He is feeling fear. Gripping, terrifying fear. But written by your quill, he is not motivated by a cruel plan, or a cold desire to see his friends hurt. You show him just as I've always imagined him: a weak person. A fearful person that can be easily manipulated into doing anyone's bidding because he lacks determination. I've always felt like he didn't have opinions of his own. He always 'burrowed' other's.
A very inspiring fic. It really offers candy for one's thoughts. Report Review
I hope you haven't had enough of me by now - I came across your page and a lot of your stories seemed very interesting, so I figured I'd read them all (or at least most of them). I hope you don't mind.
Funny that Wormtail is afraid of fear - wasn't that what Harry was supposedly afraid of as well? It seems logical, actually, that his life was led by fear. That might've been why he had such adoration for James (because he kept him safe), why he later betrayed his friends, fled, and much more, probably. It's an odd thought that someone has no self, but I suppose I can see what he (you) means.
Could that be why he's still known as Wormtail among Voldemort's followers? To remind him of his betrayal - the betrayal of the only persons who were ever really his friends? To remind him of how despicable he is? (just wondering, of course you don't have to answer this) It's odd indeed that he's holding on to the thing he calls his life like that indeed, since he already said himself that there's hardly any piece of him left. The ending was quite... sudden, I think. Especially the last two lines. The train of thought is logical, they're great final thoughts, but... something seems off, to me. I don't know what. Maybe because, although he did speak of his friends whom he betrayed, they were never named until the end. It's not the fact that the last two sentences are almost the same - they're meaningful, why shouldn't they be repeated? It's probably me being an idiot again :) Sorry. Ignore me. But I do think every word here counted, yes :) Report Review
I hate Peter. I really hate him and find him and his actions inhuman. Betraying your own friends and your believes in that way. Heís a nasty coward! But this story made him seem human like. Heís still a nast coward but heís not inhuman anymore you can now finally see what drove him. Fear. His mistake is what alot of people in history and even now drives to do the horrible things they do or did. I still donít like him but I pity him because to me it seems the guilt is eating him up. Report Review
Hello, my dear! Here with your review!
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!
This was. AMAZING! I hate Peter, I really do, but in this story, you made me ease up on his character and actually give him a little slack. This was amazing and perfect for the challenge because you're right. In this story, every word counted and contributed to the heat and emotion in this story!
It was so bloody fantastic and well written. I loved the flow of it -- how you stated fear, then Peter's emotions and worries, a quote and then fear again. More in-depth, gut wrenching thoughts, then fear. It was so well thought out and amazing.
You're such a talented writer. You never fail to please me.
Whenever you have something new, please come request again! I always love to read your stuff. :D
10/10Author's Response: Wow. Thanks so much, Drue (is it all right if I call you that?). I was simply so chuffed to read this review and... Yeah!
A lot of people seem to hate Peter, don't they. That's perfectly understandable, given what an overall pathetic character he is. However, I'm glad this story made you see him in less severe light. My intention was not to garner sympathy for him; but just that personally I don't think he's evil enough to expend our hatred on. He's pathetic and weak and... disgusting, more than diabolical.
Aw, thanks so so much for your words of praise. It means so much to me, coming from a writer of substantial repute such as yourself. Thank you, thank you! Report Review
Lovely_Slytheriness here, as requested.
This is such an exquisite take-on of Peter's (indeed, very messed up) mentality. It made so much sense to me; your interpretation of canon is excellent. The way you focused on his fear was spot on; I have no doubts that fear is what's driving him, and as you portrayed very skilfully here, this leads to a self loathing that he can barely handle. Very nice.
It was a very well written fic, and I'm truly impressed that you managed to convey such emotion with only 500 words at your disposal. Excellent work here, my dear.
Lovely_SlytherinessAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review. I'm sorry about this very dilatory response; I've not been on the top of things lately.
I've never given much thought about the character of Wormtail, but when I sat down to write this, I couldn't but think of anything else but fear. He's certainly not a creature driven by valting ambition or even genuinely evil thoughts, you know. It's fear that governs him, governs his choices. And ironically, what he fears is not worse than what he's going through. As he realises, the pain caused by death isn't worse than the pain inflicted by the Cruciatus curse. It is during that moment that to him the futility of his entire existence crashes down upon him with blinding lucidity, and in the space of a moment that demarcated life from death, he feels that maybe he should have died for James and Lily rather than betray them. It wasn't redemption I was going for, but just an epiphany very late in the day.
I've never read a story about Wormtail before, so I thought I'd give one a go!
His weakness, cowardice and indesicion are all in this, which is amazing considering the length of your story. Sometimes I wonder how Pettigrew ever became a Gryffindor, because his life really does seemed to be ruled by fear.
The fact that you managed to capture the main elements of Wormtail's personality within 500 words merits a full rating! :D
10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much for stopping by.
Even I've wondered how Pettegrew was sorted into Gryffindor when he was so stupefyingly cowardly. He's a pathetic character, a self-despising, undignified, purposeless caricature of a human being.
I'm glad you feel I've managed to capture him well. I'd never written anything less than 2000 words before, so this was quite a challenge. Anyway, I'm quite pleased with this now.
Thanks again for reviewing. Report Review
Oh, wow. This was wonderful! The constant repetition of the word 'fear' really struck me. It added so much substance to this short story. I know 500 words is not a lot, but you really did so much in this little wiggle room. Great job!
It's interesting that you took this spin on Pettigrew's character. I don't think many consider his true remorse, so it was good to see this side of his character. I think it's totally plausible that he would feel like he should have died for his friends. Awesome story.
Thanks for taking my challenge! I hope you enjoyed yourself ^_^ And congratulations on making TA! =)
Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^
.:.Ilia.:.Author's Response: Used to reading your uber-blunt reviews, I was a little surprised with this. Is it just me or are you softening up? :P
Anyhoo, I'm really glad you liked this and find it plausible for Peter to feel the remorse he does. 500 words is not much and I had to keep deleting lines as I typed them. I'm so used to writing lengthy chapters that this was a pleasant departure from my norm. It was thoroughly enjoyable. I had to pare down everything to the bare bones, but writing powerful lines is more important than writing a great number of lines. I'm no great shakes at expressing emotions or capturing a nuance and at the same time being economical with words.
Thank YOU for issuing the amazng challenge. I found it in the HPFF classics section; it's rightful place. And yes, it was ighly enjoyable. Thanks again.
-Renee Report Review
Beautiful--an appreciated look into the mind of Peter; how he actually feels about what he's done, is doing, could do next; what he fears. His mistake is utterly mortal; he fears death to the point that he'd do anything to avoid it--betrayal. And that fear is what ends up destroying him from the inside out. As you've put it, eating away at his sense of self, his worth.
Well written (and with lovely vocabulary).
[Btw, nice use of DH quotes and congrats on becoming a TA!]
-AxjionAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing. :)
Personally, I do not hate Peter like a lot of people do. I think I can understand his fear; not everybody can be valiant heroes. His fear drove him to betray his friends. And ironically, what he fears the most - death - is not the main painful. It's not worse than torture. It's only the unknowability that frightens him.
Thanks again for the lovely review. :)
- Renee Report Review
U need to add 'contain's spoilers' to the warnings things. Someone could run in to this and they might be in the middle to the real book...no one wants to find out like that.
But ANYWAY, it was great! I think that's exactly what goes on in Wormtail's mind. He's never been doing something for himself. It's always for someone else because he FEARS them. Excellent!
10~10Author's Response: Um, hasn't it been like... two years since the book released? I mean, because there's always the chance that a person might've just read the first three books, but is reading fanfiction. In that event, the 'spoiler' warning would have to be tacked on to every story, isn't it? That was my reasoning for not adding that warning, but you may rest assured it has now been added. :)
I'm very glad you liked the story. I usually plan loads before writing something, but this was written in like five minutes flat! And personally, I'm quite pleased with it.
Thanks again for being my first reviewer. :)
- Renee Report Review
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