It's really well written. I always thought Sev took the mark to try and get over Lily. I like that she comes to tell him herself, that she makes it a final good-bye between the two of them. It always bothered me that Lily seemed to be so unforgiving. It didn't feel right. I like that you made it seem more like the final straw instead. I give this an O for Outstanding. Thanks for sharing it!Author's Response: Thank you very much for such a wonderful review! I am pleased that you share my view.
I though that it was important for Lily to tell him the news herself. Even though she did not want to be friends with Severus anymore, it seemed very wrong for her to ignore his pain. She had to know that he suffered.
I have never received an O! Thank you! :) Report Review
not pointless at all! its beautiful! poor severus!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Dear essenni, though I'm not a native speaker myself, I don't think you should apologize for your language. It’s not simple in the wrong meaning of the word. It is simple as clean water, which means that all those subtle emotions you have described are reflected in it as clearly as in a crystal clean streamlet.
You told me to tell the truth – and the truth is that the story moved me very much. The way you depicted Snape’ feelings towards Lily… it was very strong. His emotions hit me as if they were mine. I think that the lack of a chiselled, baroque language only added to the strength of your story.
You shouldn’t feel bad about this one-shot.
It’s brilliant! It really is, and please forget the tiny flaws of grammar and language! If you could break the barriers of three languages (just consider – to deliver your thoughts and feelings to me you had to first convert them into English, then I, the representative of a third nationality, converted it in my own mind) so, briefly, if you could break this barrier between us, and made these emotions still stay intense, you have something precious within you.
And it is your amazing consciousness of feelings: sorrow, yearning, pain etc.
Congratulations! I loved it!Author's Response: Dear Purewings,
It looks like I have been too critical of my work again.
I'm very happy that you like it, and delighted that those emotions which I wanted to convey did not disappear somewhere between my imagination and the word document.
Thank you! Report Review
I like the sadness of the story..
I LOVE SNAPE.
The story isn't pointless, believe me, it's sad but that's just the life of Severus Snape..this is really good..will you update soon?
Lurvs Author's Response: Hi! Tank you for the review! I'm very happy that you like it.
No updates are planned for the story, except for the summary which has disappeared. lol
English isn't your native language? I am very impressed! I liked the piece, but wish there was a bit more of a solid storyline or a distinct memory. It was a nice look at Snape's thoughts, but the imagery of the past was excellent. I wished for more of it!Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much for the review!
I'm glad to see that my language is improving.
I have to agree with you. The story really is a bit messy. I wanted to add a memory to it, but then it did not work out, because the memory would have been too long compared to everything else.
Anyway, if you wished for more, then what I have is no that bad. I'll keep in mind your comments in the future.
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