33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Aitchy Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

15th June 2012:
I love the idea of this story. It's unique, amusing and well written :) Please carry on?

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Review #2, by daydream_it_to_life Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

8th June 2010:
Oh come on! You leave a cliffie like THAT and then decide to abandon your story? Cruel. Just cruel. XD

Author's Response: ohmigosh I'm so sorry!!! I swear I'm not abandoning this story!! Aw i feel so guilty it's just that ive been tremendously busy!! But school is over now whooppee!! so im gonna update very soon... if my sisters will leave me alone. XD
xxx


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Review #3, by Nonizikky Hogsmeade: Part... I forget.

7th January 2010:
my favourite outfit is brenda's own its so lovely. im giving you 10/10 for that one.

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Review #4, by Nonizikky The Year we've all been waiting for!!!

7th January 2010:
nice and lovely touch mizzy

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Review #5, by Noni Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

27th December 2009:
omg i love this. this is soo cool

Author's Response: thnx!! appreciate it!!

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Review #6, by Noni You know what this day is? Look up commotion...

27th December 2009:
i love d pain dat was given 2 both black and potter for being both idiots. good work dayo

Author's Response: thnx!! appreciate it!!

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Review #7, by NONI Logic... It's a... *cough*

27th December 2009:
DAYO Iremember dis one very clearly now

Author's Response: thnx!! appreciate it!!

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Review #8, by Noni Hogsmeade: Part 1

27th December 2009:
i love d pics and d chappie. it makes me laugh

Author's Response: thnx!! appreciate it!!

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Review #9, by Noni Unbelievable!!!

27th December 2009:
its me again. i love d pairing up. poor peter has nonone 2 go with.

Author's Response: thnx!! appreciate it!!

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Review #10, by Chinonye(NONI) Prologue: Glittery sky blue.

27th December 2009:
I love dis fanfic. thumbs up dayo

Author's Response: thnx!! appreciate it!!

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Review #11, by gannys Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

18th December 2009:
sorry dayo bt chad iz kind of ugly accordin 2 d describin nd change dat aquas pic nd pls continue

Author's Response: ehn ehn! SO u decided to come back!! and read! idiot. the description is not horrible! it think its cute. ill tryy and keep writing this story but im experiencing a bit of writers block in this story. read my other one!

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Review #12, by Luna Lover Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

25th November 2009:
i likey i likey i likey ;)

Author's Response: thank u!
i appreciate it!
review soon!
xxx
mizzy


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Review #13, by tkcremma Prologue: Glittery sky blue.

1st November 2009:
hi
this is awesome
i would suggest a pic of Raquel Reed. Search her on google, she has, or did have at 1 point, blue hair! although she is too old for aqua but u can always say its part of the mermaid beauty or something.
keep up the good work

Author's Response: thank you very much for reviewing. im very bummed ryte now bcuz my laptop crashed. and i had to get a new one. but all my pics are on that other. i had a pic for Aqua thank you. its seriously frustrating. ill try to download the pics 4rm there unto this one. or ill use a flash. something anything.
thanks again 4 reviewing!
xxx
mizzy


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Review #14, by weesa13 Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

30th October 2009:
This is a decent story, very cute idea. But what drew me was the mermaid factor, and it would be awesome to see some more of that happen. When is their trip to the sea gonna be? And why is Aqua's dad so angry? I also like the pictures at the end, very cool.
:) update soon please :)

Author's Response: thanx soo much 4 reviewing! so 4 dat im going to answer your questions. and im going to give you a sneak peek.
k so their trip 2 sea will be in approximately 2 weeks. all these chappies were just 2 fill you in. a bit unnecessary but appropriate. and i had to add some spice to it 2 mak it interesting!
anyway, aqua's dad is angry bcuz as i said, she broke one of his rules. but to see which one of his rules u hav to read on! ;)
lastly, sneak peek! da dum... aqua is going to go to sea soon! alone! as a mermaid! how s dat 4 a mermaid factor!? hee hee hee
i hope no one reads the reviews so theyll spoil d story.
read on!
xxx
mizzy


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Review #15, by jellylegs2066 Well, that certainly was...unexpected.

29th October 2009:
Great Chapter again, please update soon. I like how you have potential boyfriend for Ella in this chapter. Ooh, what a cliffie! Please update soon!

Author's Response: really? i thawt it was a useless cliffie. well, then. at least you like it. okay i know i made it pretty obvious but i didnt know anyone would catch on that quickly about Chad and Ella. it took me quite a while to write this chappie. ssiigghhh, i really dont think im in the mood to write now. but maybe ill update in like a week. what with halloween and stuff. but i will update. thank u 4 reviewin! ur my favorite...favoritest...est..est...you get the point
xxx
mizzy


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Review #16, by StepUpx_Gryffindor Hogsmeade: Part 1

25th October 2009:
Hello! I know you've been trying to reach me for some time now, and I thought I'd let you know it would help if you commented my blog on an entry that's up to date :P But it's okay, I found your comment by email because the site does that for me. But for your story, sure - I'd love to help you critique! ( and yes, that was indeed Rupert Grint's wonderful face on my website for a split second ).

You have a good concept, and a cute outline on how you want things to work out. The only basic step I can announce first, as it is the easiest, is grammar. I cannot stress this enough, darling. You MUST follow the rules of grammar first, and the good writing will follow.

I like your characters, they seem fun, but you have to introduce them better, and give them more emotion. With that said, some of this isn't realistic. You want explanation and wonder to go into your fic so that people will keep reading. But this story is a bit lacking. It's okay to describe things and write a paragraph about it. As long as it's not repetative or cliche. Describing someones past or explaining how someone feels is vital for a story to move on. Write paragraphs!

There seems to be too much dialogue, and not enough periods at the end of sentances lol. When you write on word document, past it on hpff using the button on the toolbar. You can italicize and bold and underline things after youi've pasted them here. Copying and pasting straight from word is what's giving you those harsh space margins in between dialogue and sentances.

Cute idea, I really like it =] Keep working!

If you want any more help, you know where to find me.

Author's Response: ooh!!! now i know!!! i never knew that!! i was always wondering why there were so many spaces in between them!! thank u soo much for replying! when i saw this i was just like yay!!!i know al about the character thing. im working on that. ive decided that at a point in time im going to do it from lily's mind. that way ill be able to introducee her feelings and her friends'. is that a bad idea? hmmm...i thought i was doing pretty well on my grammar...oh well. will work harder on that :)
i dont understand this part of your review though.
but you have to introduce them better, and give them more emotion. With that said, some of this isn't realistic. You want explanation and wonder to go into your fic so that people will keep reading. But this story is a bit lacking.

i dont get that part. but i will work on everything else thank u soo much.
xxx
mizzy


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Review #17, by greeneyes713 You know what this day is? Look up commotion...

21st October 2009:
awww so sweet thot it wz funny how james and sirius made up just like that. its really cool how u wrote ur story w/ a mermaid in it ive never seen that b4 anyway i luv ur story :D

Author's Response: awww thanks. ur sweet. love the review!! really appreciate it.
xxx
mizzy


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Review #18, by ganiyat seriki You know what this day is? Look up commotion...

19th October 2009:
dayo u could have done better she is nt aqua at all

Author's Response: i know ryte?? ;(

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Review #19, by ganiyat seriki The Year we've all been waiting for!!!

19th October 2009:
eya i cnt beliv ella iz blod bt blondes re daft

Author's Response: ode, not all blondes are daft!!

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Review #20, by ganiyat seriki Prologue: Glittery sky blue.

19th October 2009:
dis iz lovely and dayo i hope it gets better like u said

Author's Response: it does, i swear!!! thank u for reviewing!! cant wait 2 c u!!
xxx
mizzy


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Review #21, by BellaRose The Year we've all been waiting for!!!

18th October 2009:
I would be quite happy to answer any questions you might have. I'm not the best writer in the world but i will help you out as best i can. My email address is on my page so you can contact me through that or on the Forums where i am also known as BellaRose.

Author's Response: thank u very much. ill c if i can contact u soon

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Review #22, by jellylegs2066 You know what this day is? Look up commotion...

18th October 2009:
Another great chapter, i felt sorry for Sirius and Lily, aswell as Aqua and James. The picture isn't that bad! Please update soon!

Author's Response: awww, your sweet. thank u. ill update soon.
xxx
mizzy


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Review #23, by BellaRose Prologue: Glittery sky blue.

18th October 2009:
I jus forgot to mention that your spelling, grammer and tense are all well done, so kudos for that. There is nothing worse than dodgy spelling and grammer.

Author's Response: i know!! i really try to do the grammar thing well, cuz i know i hate that grammar thing!!!

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Review #24, by BellaRose You know what this day is? Look up commotion...

18th October 2009:
just so you know. the author note in the middle of a chapter thing? It really annoys readers because it interrupts teh flow of the story and is generally just very irritating to come across. Just a heads up that you may want to remove them. Moving on>
I was first intrigued by the story simply because i thought the sentence "I'm a flipping mermaid!" was really funny, i dont know why, i just laughed at it. So that's what made me read. Only i was slightly disappointed upon reading.
your plot is ok, quite typical for a sirius/oc story though. The girls are all incredibly beautiful and smart ect.> they have no depth to them.
also another thing that caught my attention was the clothing. You don't need to describe their clothing in such detail, it makes the story sound a little shallow and simply isnt necessary.
However, i encourage you to keep writing and developing yor skills. Try to strengthen your characters a little and work the mermaid factor into it a little more to give it that little bit more originality.
That said, it did keep me entertatined enough to read through all the chapters and i do think with a little work on the charcters it could turn out to be a fair decent story. Goodluck.

Author's Response: thank u so much for the advice. im happy that u read the story even if it sucks ass a bit. i thought bout wat u said, and i realize u are soo right. i will see if i can put more information about the girls in the story, if i cant i will put it in the further chaoters. thank you for the info. now i realize the reason for lack of reviews. i will stop putting the clothes thing and ill put the mermaid factor into it. and i want 2 ask u something:) will u be like my adviser or something along those lines. i knew something was missing i just didnt know. now i know. please pleas. thank u!!
thanks for reviewing too!!


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Review #25, by Sianikins Hogsmeade: Part... I forget.

12th October 2009:
awsome chapter! Cant wait for next update, the pictures look awsome!

Author's Response: aw thank u soo much!!! you hav no idea how much this means to me!! omg!!! a review!! ok do i sound desperate? well... i am. really. i really love reviews!! thank you so much that you like it!! read soon!!! and yes ill update soon. yay!! i like the pics too!!

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