Reading Reviews for Year Six: A Marauders Tale
119 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Forbidden Moonlight Chapter Ten: Our Mark

11th August 2012:
please update this story it is realy interesting! i want more!

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Review #2, by grangerdanger Chapter Ten: Our Mark

12th June 2010:
Okay, since the other chapters aren't out yet, I have decided to calm down. Calm down and punctuate. And of course, capitalize.

Oh Great Akabara, why isn't your story finished yet? Okay, I understand if you're busy. I'll wait, so long as I can read it! :)

Ren? He's finally mentioned? Is he going to Hogwarts? If he is, I'm not sure Sirius can stand it! Didn't Kira mention Ren was like Sirius! Oh no! My lovely Padfoot... (Don't mind me, I'm in love with Sirius Black).

Oh, I will DEFINITELY favor this. SUPER. No doubt about it. I'm gonna go straight off and favor it. Then I'll go and check out your other stories. I haven't posted any, myself *sob* but as of the moment I'm taking up six different challenges, writing a novel and fragments of another novel. But *ahem* I'm straying...

Time to head off into the wonderful world of The Great Akabara!

I'll probably leave a comment at your gallery, too. My name's also grangerdanger there. (I also do not have a gallery yet, sob.)

-- Bea :)

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Review #3, by grangerdanger Chapter Nine: Tactics

12th June 2010:
the great akabara, i'm still here *laughs*

not yet eating dinner. as i said im not punctuating bec im in a hurry to read the rest of your story id read it straight but i think you deserve plenty of beautiful reviews *i think this is beautiful in a weird unearthly fashion*

anyways love your story as usual! its getting good actually better ha ha omg i think im going insane here i really need to get to your next chapter soon

cheers to your chapter!

-- Bea

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Review #4, by grangerdanger Chapter Eight: Puzzle pt. Two

12th June 2010:
okay now i am abandoning all attempts to capitalize seeing as i am held captive by the words of the great akabara!

and... it's dinner time.

so here's a review for you: aaah! pure awesomeness! *le gasp* this is getting interesting. i really really really really wanna continue but its dinner so... maybe after dinner

and now i abandon all attempts at punctuation

thanks for the awesome story i will keep reading it

-- bea

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Review #5, by grangerdanger Chapter Seven: Puzzle pt. One

12th June 2010:

I'd love to write you a long and lovely and absolutely spiffing review but I'm too excited to read the next chapter. Still i think it's fair that you earn a review you deserve.

I'd probably fill this and flood your reviews page thing with rambling about how great you are. Oh cool! I thought of something: The Great Akabara! *music plays*

The Great Akabara, why are you so great?

Okay, I will read your next chapter! yehey!

-- Bea

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Review #6, by grangerdanger Chapter Six: Professor Hart

12th June 2010:
Well this cleared it up... a little. So what's gonna happen since Hart has no teaching expertise at all?

Okay, that's not the most important question over here! Ahh... I'll just wait, I guess. *shrug*

Chapter... Seven, here I come!

-- Bea

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Review #7, by grangerdanger Chapter Five: Full Moon

12th June 2010:
Here again I type as quickly as I can without causing so much as a typo (hopefully). I saw this drawing in your gallery before reading this, so I kind of knew what she looked like already.

Awesome part! I'm curious all the more about Kira.

Okay, next chapter!

-- Bea

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Review #8, by grangerdanger Chapter Four: The Traveling Four

12th June 2010:
Okay, I love your chapter and your story so far! Yes, right now I am applying the art of fast typing so that I will have the opportunity to continue reading your fab story.

Okay, here, goes!

-- Bea

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Review #9, by grangerdanger Chapter Three: Rainbow

12th June 2010:
Must... Read... No... Time... For... Long... Review...

-- Bea

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Review #10, by grangerdanger Chapter Two: Lily's Confrontation

12th June 2010:
Eep... This mystery Kira presents is mind-boggling! My vague idea is still as vague as ever. But she's interesting.

Gotta read more!

-- Bea

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Review #11, by grangerdanger Chapter One: Kira

12th June 2010:
Ooh... I wonder what Kira removed from the book? :|

This is interesting! I have a pretty vague idea about how she knows Remus... But I have absolutely no proof. Ah well. Poof it all, I'll just read the next chapter now.

Cheers to a chapter!

-- Bea

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Review #12, by grangerdanger Prologue: The Girl In The Woods

12th June 2010:
Wow... This is pretty good stuff. Better than 'pretty good', actually. You're a great writer!

I actually first heard of you over @TDA... Anyway i found out you had an HPFF account and decided to check this one out. Your chapter summaries got me curious. :)

I think this is cool! It has an aura of mystery to it. Now I'll go and head over to chapter 2. Note that whenever I read stories, I review EVERY chapter. :) You'll hear from me again.

-- Bea

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Review #13, by butter_beer_junky2499 Chapter Three: Rainbow

28th May 2010:
Another interesting chapter, another hint, another clue, but no ideas. I can only think of perhaps a vampire but I don't know. What did she drink and why? All very curious? You got me interested.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :D

Hmm... A vampire? That's certainly an interesting idea and one that no one has thought of before. ;3

Oooo she drank something very strange. I'll give you a hint: what did Lily guess the root was for? ;)

Thanks for all of your lovely reviews!


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Review #14, by butter_beer_junky2499 Chapter Two: Lily's Confrontation

28th May 2010:
Problem - you use Slughorn and Snape in the same paragraph referencing the Potions professor. I'm confused. OH sorry my confusion! I mixed time periods, my bad :D teeheehe lol! Interesting but on the plant though. Well though out, good imagination

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

Sorry if I confused you there! Snape is a kid in this, and Slughorn taught Lily, so he's a teacher at the time. Hope you got that all cleared up!

My imagination is quite weird, actually... :P

Thanks for the reviews!


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Review #15, by butter_beer_junky2499 Chapter One: Kira

28th May 2010:
This chapter is so well written, I was enthralled until I read, "he wasn’t the sharpest sharp object in the sharp object container… thing." It doesn't flow, you sound so intelligent and witty and amazing until you say this. I know you are trying to have a sense of humor or something but the way you write naturally is humorous. I wanted to tell you that. You are an excellent writer, you don't have to try so hard or overdo it, because you are really talented. So Miss Kira is something and she's intent on keeping it hidden and James has got himself a new crush. Cool.

Author's Response:
Thanks for reviewing!

Lol I wrote this a while ago and now I had to go back and check. WOW I cannot believe I wrote that! I'll definitely have to go back and change that. ^_^'

Kira is indeed intent on keeping her identity hidden. ;)

Thanks for the wonderful review!


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Review #16, by butter_beer_junky2499 Prologue: The Girl In The Woods

28th May 2010:
I thought I had read your story before but apparently not because I'm able to leave a review :) So that's what I'm gonna do. And reading it, I realize, that I don't recognize it at all. Interesting. Good job writing :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

Hmmm, really? That's strange... But I'm glad you reviewed. ;)

Glad you thought it was interesting!

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #17, by James Madison Chapter Two: Lily's Confrontation

16th May 2010:
Stories like this remind me why I was so upset that the marauders were effectively cut out of the 5th film. LOVE the characterization, and you hit Sirius right on the nose. Looking forward to reading the rest!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
I know; I can't believe they cut them out! I really wanted to see teenage marauders. T_T
Glad you like the characterization. ;3
Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #18, by xChickWithBrainsx Prologue: The Girl In The Woods

4th April 2010:
Sorry for it being really late!!! but wow, that was good start to the story!!!

The description was quite good, but you could have set the scene a bit more at the beginning

The imagery also has potential, but you could still use a few more adjectives, and maybe try experimenting with more similes and metaphors, to give a richer description and paint the scene for your readers a bit more

Also, you decribed the stars as twinkling 'merrily'. You see, that sort of poses a problem for me, as you used that in your opening sentence, and I don't really think that its appropriate when your chapters is going to be this dark... It might help to set the atmosphere and mood for the chapter in that beginning paragraph/phrase as it can help to create tension etc.

There is also the issue of the length, but then it is just a prologue, so it doesn't matter that much, and I assume that the rest of the chapters are longer

I also really loved the last line - it rounded up the chapter superbly, and left us wondering why she needed to run, where she was going, what she needed to do, who she was running from/to, and just generally makes your reader want to go on to the next chapter!

Sorry for it being so late!!!

Author's Response: Hey, I'm just glad you took the time to review my story! Thanks!
All right; work on "setting the scene." I'll definitely try.
Adjectives I can deal with, but I do tend to have trouble with similes and metaphors. However, I will definitely give it a try. Thanks for the great advice!
Oh wow you're right! I hadn't noticed that. Merrily twinkling stars and a scary, bloody scene? That's embarrassing. Thanks again!
Yeah, I was upset at how short this turned out to be. But yes, the other chapters are all over 2,000 words (most, if not all of them are around 3,000).
Glad you liked that last line!
Thanks for the incredibly helpful review!


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Review #19, by kandekisses Chapter Ten: Our Mark

29th March 2010:
*does happy dance*
Yay! I got a shout out! That seriously made my day =)

Well, I saw that you updated and of course I had to come and read it. Sorry I took so long though.

Well, I think that this chapter was a good step. Finally we get to see what's on their arms. But of course you kill me once again with all this torture lol. &The mysterious characters =P

Sirius was soo hilarious in this chapter. I loved practically all of his lines. &I could so picture James bouncing up and down. Gosh the little details you put really does add a little something extra.

I really hope that the twins will be alright though. The whole non-healable wounds thing sounds horrible!

Awww this story is going to be on hiatus for a bit? I understand. Well I can't wait till when you update again. I'll definitely be sticking wit this story.

Another great chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
Haha yeah, I wanted to show some appreciation to people who reviewed.
Lol no problem. You're not obliged to review; I'm just ecstatic that you're keeping with the story!
Wow huge praise! Thanks! It always makes my day to hear stuff like that!
It is horrible; I kind of got the idea from Mr. Weasley's wound that wouldn’t close, actually.
Well, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm actually in the process of rewriting the entire story. Chapters 1-4, including the prologue, have gotten a makeover. I'm continuing the job with all of the chapters, so be sure to keep posted. Also, there's going to be a new chapter, though it will be inserted between two existing chapters.
Thanks again for the great review and for keeping with the story!


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Review #20, by Pen2Paper Prologue: The Girl In The Woods

17th March 2010:
Hey! Here's the review you requested.

Two words. Fantastic chapter!. I loved it.
The chapter was a race and you stayed very close to the urgency of the chapter that it pulled me forward to the edge of my seat.
I wanted to know if she was running away from something or running toward something and then the explanation came it was incredibly well written. You spaced out the material very nicely that I as the reader had so many questions rising up and each of them answered when I kept reading. Very exciting! very nice :)
I like the little characterization you gave her with hair and her pale skin it made a world of a difference.
I am curious though as to what happened to her, why she just started bleeding all of a sudden so i hope future chapters will reveal that.
To sum up it was very well written! I found it so easy to relate to the character and feel her struggle.
Very very impressive for a first fan fic!! Keep up the good work.
I hope this review helped and if you'd like me to review your other chapters leave a post :)
Outstanding effort :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!
I'm so glad you liked it! It was a very fast-paced chapter, and the fact that you found it done well is very encouraging.
Yes, the chapters in the future (pretty far into the future at that lol) will explain her random bleeding.
Relating to the character! Great!
Haha yeah, I had to go back and edit this because it was originally not that good. I went back and read it and was like "wow I was such a noob when I wrote this!" Thanks for the complement and for the review! I'll probably re-request soon. :D
Thanks again!


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Review #21, by fire witch Chapter Ten: Our Mark

4th March 2010:

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
I will have the updated chapter 4 up soon, but, unfortunately, it will be a while before chapter eleven is up. I hope you'll stay with the story, though!
Thanks again!


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Review #22, by EnnaBellaPotter Chapter Two: Lily's Confrontation

14th February 2010:
hey there - it's me again (EnnaBella) with your second review!

first of all, I have to say that I liked this chapter a lot! the first one was just the beginning so it sort of dragged a little, but this one really caught my attention with all the new additions to the plot and what not.

I like the way you are characterizing Lily and Kira and there seemingly enemy-blooming relationship. I like that aspect a lot.

I wish I had the time to review all your chapters and give you more feedback - I will try to in the future if I ever have the time! I am anxious to see what happens in this plot and who this Kira chick really is :p

thank you for requesting and once again a HUGE apology for the long wait! keep up the wonderful progress!

Author's Response: Thanks again for reviewing.
I did the exciting prologue for a reason lol! The first chapter was a little boring.
Lily and Kira are definitely rivals. Two strong-spirited and intelligent girls! Whoa!
Chick! Lol Kira being called a chick makes me crack up...sorry. The plot confuses me sometimes, but it's definitely something.
Thanks again for the review and I too apologize for taking so long. :D


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Review #23, by EnnaBellaPotter Chapter One: Kira

14th February 2010:
hi there! it's EnnaBella from the forums with your (long-ago) requested review! I'm terribly sorry it has taken me so long! I've been super busy lately but here I am :)

so: regarding your areas of concern (General visualization, characterization, how the marauders are portrayed, originality).

General visualization: the way you made the reader visualize the characters as well as Hogwarts was pretty good! I really, er, 'visualized' everything :p especially the apperance of the characters.

Characterization: the Marauders are tricky people to characterize correctly, and no one really knows how because JK never really wrote of them 'directly' (so to speak). I would say you did a 7/10 job on them. in this chapter they seem a little cliched, James especially. but every author views them differently, and I respect that entirely. I do like the way you did Peter, however! I think you captured his 'what's going on?' quality very well!

Originality: lovin' the idea for the story so far! and you definately love the little cliffhanger at the end there. this Kira girl's got me all confused! I like the twist :)

overall, I think the beginning chapter was a solid foundation for what seems like it's going to be an intersting plot!

I shall review your next chapter as well (as promised) and once again I apologize for taking so long!

keep up the good work,

Author's Response: ACK! So sorry it took me so long to respond! Thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad that the visualization is working out pretty well. I'm also an artist, so I try to make my readers see the characters.
Yeah, I spent forever reading and re-reading any part of the books that even mentioned the marauders. I tried, and a 7/10 is fine: for now! In my rewrite of the story, I will be sire to pick out as much of the cliche as I can.
I actually like Peter, as a kid anyway. I wanted to make him kind of the innocent, somewhat confused one. I like how you described that lol! 'What's going on' indeed! (indeed?)
Kira even confuses me sometimes! Is that bad? I hope not. Well, I'm glad you like it!
Thanks again, and I hope you'll stop by and read the re-written version of this once it's up. Hopefully it'll be even better then!


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Review #24, by RocketBabyDoll9 Prologue: The Girl In The Woods

12th February 2010:
Hey there. Rocket here with the review you requested. I'm so sorry this took so long. My queue and my waiting list were both full, and I've been positively swamped this week, and haven't had time to get to anything. So, that being said, I am only going to review the prologue. Re-request if you'd like.

Okay, so this was relatively short, but it IS a prologue, so understandable. (:
I'm going to guess, though I'm probably totally wrong, that she's either a) a werewolf, b) an animagi, or c) a shapeshifter or some sort. I'm probably wrong though.

What in the world happened to her though? With the blood and all that. You did a good job of drawing the reader in, despite the length, and you added just enough mystery and desperation to leave us wanting more.

As an obnoxious editor beta person, I scanned for any spelling mistakes, grammar etc. I did this quite fast, but I didn't notice anything much, except there were a couple of time where the comma usage was slightly awkward. But everything else was fine to me.

Wish I had more to say, but there's not much else TO say. I enjoyed it, it was well written, though I am slightly confused haha.

Feel free to re-request. I am currently trying to clear out my review forum, but it always fills up fast, so hopefully you'll get a spot!

Thanks for requesting!


Author's Response: AGH! I'm so sorry that it took me so long to respond! I've just been so busy! That makes us even lol! Thanks for reviewing!
I' ll probably re-request for my first chapter after the new version has been validated. Thanks for the kind offer.
Good guesses, but I can't give away any info. :3
Yay! I bask in praise. *basks* Thanks so much!
I've been told many, many times that I *ahem* have a habit of excessively using commas. I'll fix that when I do my edit of the prologue.
Thanks again! (I'm gonna get a swelled head!)
It will probably take me a while to re-request, so hopefully your thread will be open!
Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #25, by Nevaline Caroline Chapter Nine: Tactics

10th February 2010:
Dear Akabara
I know it took very long for me to review but I've been under lots of pressure but I guess I thought “better late than never”.
I have two views on the story: One (if everything written so far is only the beginning or some kind of a middle): It's brilliant.
Two (if this is nearly the end): Not so good. I don't think that it's good to have so many secrets at the end.
I'd say that Keira really is a Mary-Sue but if you will be careful, it might turn out as a good thing (Yeah I'm the one to talk. In my fan-fic my main character is or will become the biggest Mary-Sue ever.).
As for your other question this is the first marauder fan-fic where Peter is mentioned more than once a chapter so no, you didn't belittle him. I kind of miss James/Lily interaction but what can I do.
But it's not bad. Just keep writing because I want to know how it ends.
Now let's stop being pessimistic and let's start being optimistic. I think that the story is really interesting and keeps hold of you. It really is great.
I wonder when will the guys find out that Keira is an immortal. I was kind of sorry that Keira wasn't a werewolf but if she was, the story wouldn't be so interesting.
Well that's all for now.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
I hope the pressure is gone now because too much is baaad! *sheep* *sorry lol*
Late is better than never. ;3 A lot better.
OMG this is SUCH a beginning. There are going to be probably over 30 chapters to this story.
About Kira being a HUGE Mary-Sue: Actually, after Chapter Ten gets validated, I am rewriting this ENTIRE story, making Kira much less of a Mary-Sue without altering the plot.
I actually like Peter (as a kid anyway) and I wanted to use him in my story. In the rewritten version there is going to be more James/Lily because I realized that I had forgotten it. Oops lol.
Interesting ;_; *happyness*
OMG Kira's secret is apparently not that secret-y... FAIL lol.
I hope you'll read my rewritten version when it comes up!
Thanks a TON for the wonderful review and have a good week. *beacuse I feel like saying that*


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