AWW! I loved it! so amazing! You did an awesome job! YOu NEED to write more Lily and James stories! I swear to read them all! Please~ *Claps and a cookie* _Charly Report Review
I reeeally liked it.
Awesome idea, really imaginative, and all the italicised phrases made the hairs on my neck stand up!
NNAuthor's Response: Um wow! Thanks for the great review!n And I'm glad you were creeped ^.^ lol Report Review
Congrats on your first publication!
Just a few tips:
-I'd put a bit more of a summary on the front page. Sometimes it takes more than a pretty banner to draw in readers.
-You're imagery was excellent. You definitely have a knack for this whole writing thing and putting the reader in a new world.
-Sometimes I felt that the song didn't really flow with the story. Like, it easily could have lived without it. Or, you could have totally revamped it in a new direction. Make the whole thing not be a test, and have Voldy jump out and this massive duel. Just an example.
Keep writing!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the tips! I totally understand about the summary- I was actually going to change it in a few minutes
Thanks for the compliment! I was really worried about it actually Dx
And once I re-read it, I kinda figured that, too. But then-- idk I might have gotten lazy, haha. But you're right, it could have done without the song.
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Wow. That was one *ahem* kick-ass story! And I say, well done! This is a very good story for it being your first, and I don't believe I noticed any grammar or spelling mistakes in this selection. :D yay!
I love the plot for the story. I never would have guessed that it all was a test for Lily and the Marauders! The writing was so descriptive, it felt as if I was actually there, along side Lily the whole time. And I enjoyed the lyrics from the song, Disturbia. It added a nice touch to the whole thing.
I can't wait to see what other stories you come up with in the future. I'll keep an eye out for them!
~LindsayAuthor's Response: Wow! What an awesome response. Thank you so much for reviewing, I honestly didn't think anyone would, haha. I'm glad you liked the twist and stayed tuned! I have more up my sleeve :D Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection