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Reading Reviews for Sea Green
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Axjion Sea Green

17th August 2009:
Sweet, cute and original (somewhat).

Your style flows gracefully with nice descriptions and beautiful imagery; a colorful vocabulary. I especially liked the lines "...his head lolling to and fro and his face black as rotted fruit." and "...with a smirk worthy of a Malfoy." And when you said "...he was about as fun as a fencepost," I actually lol'ed.

As expected, with such wonderful writing, there are so few grammatical mistakes (that I noticed anyway). "He drew his winter cloak around him; though..." is one. When you use a semicolon, you don't used a conjunction (such as though). There were also the lines "...warmth sensation..." where you use the noun form instead of the adjective, and "...two slender wrapped around..." where a word seems to be missing, though one can figure out what's being said.

I was touched at the end when I read that that day was his last, and then the mermaid says that she's had his heart for a lifetime and asks him to join her in the next.

Thank you for sharing this great work!
-Axjion

Author's Response: No, thank you! It's only once in a while I get a really useful, specific review. =)

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Review #2, by confusedlover Sea Green

16th August 2009:
very lovely.

wow. this is, honestly, one of the most original stories that i have ever read on this site. i am seriously sitting her in complete and entire amazement.

your male OC was certainly one that i could find pity for. that was the point, i believe, but i do think that i should mention it anyway. he was very believable and kind and the fact that he ran into the siren the way that he did was truly beautiful.

overall, i thought that you did an amazing job with this story. i am very impressed with everything and have nothing constructive to comment on. you did a beautiful job with this. i could say more but why waste time. AMAZING! feel free to request again on my thread anytime.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm sure I will.

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