This was truly great.
I've never even thought about those two as a couple before tonight. You wrote the two characters beautifully.
The only horrible part about this one shot is that he will forgot here soon enough. How depressing!Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. Isn't it sad? :( But I hopefully left it open-ended enough so that a happy ending isn't necessarily impossible. Glad you enjoyed it, though I'm sorry for the depression!
V Report Review
That was really interesting. I've never thought about them in a relationship, but you actually make it make a lot of sense. They are sort of sweet together in their own way. And the characterization for both of them was really good. I'm tried to find something to point out for constructive criticism, but I honestly can't find anything that I think should have gone differently.
That last bit of dialogue about the butterfly? That was a nice touch - really sweet. And you gave us hope that he might come back around the bend.
Very nice - 9/10Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!
I had never thought of it before writing this, but now it's in my head like canon hahaha. And Rita is just too much fun to write. She has become, in her own way, one of my trademarks--she also features in Loved and Lost, but at a younger age. Looking back, their relationship reminds me a lot of the fatal attraction between the two main characters in the Notebook. Sort of how they're horrible for each other, but soul mates at the same time? I'm glad you liked how I characterized them. I tried as hard as I could to keep them canon while still being able to make a connection with the readers.
That last bit was in my head from the start, but was at the same time what gave me the most trouble. It's really nice to hear positive feedback on it!
Thank you so much for your review. It was incredibly thoughtful and encouraging, and I really appreciate your insight.
V Report Review
I loved this! It was great. I thought you really showed everyone that Rita's not all bad. For a first romance it was wonderful. It actually made me cry. You should see me right now. I'm getting my laptop soaking wet. It's quite a sight. You're a great writer to have such an effect on me. I love you!
P.S 10/10Author's Response: Aww! Now you're making me cry! And I just got my laptop fixed! haha
But seriously, this review just put such a smile on my face. I'm currently pulling an all-nighter playing catch-up with work and such. :/ So now I'm all :D
I have a tendency to always look for the good in people, which is not always so great, because I sometimes see it where it doesn't exist and then get hurt. But I love to translate that into fiction and humanize people, really dig into why they are who they are. (The nerdy, psychology-loving part of me is coming out right now.)
I'm currently seriously considering majoring in Creative Writing, so you've really made my day and made me blush with your compliments. Thanks for keeping me going! I love you, too!
Truly appreciate it!
PS: (: Report Review
I have nothing to say about this. Nothing but praise!
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
I have to say that this is so well written, seriously..
You've portrayed the characters perfectly and it was very engaging and interesting to read.
The ending was lovely.
Very very awesome story!Author's Response: Thank you so, so much. First, for taking the time to read and review all of my stories, because I can't even begin to tell you how it brightened my day to see unsolicited reviews like yours. (: Truly made me happy beyond belief.
Second, for your incredible praise. If there's one story that gave me enormous trouble (and yet indescribable pleasure!) while writing, it was this one. The ending was exactly how I wanted it, but I had no idea how people would interpret it, or if they would even like it, so I love to see that you mentioned it.
Thanks to the moon and back a bazillion times for your reviews. (:
V Report Review
i never thought once that a story about rita skeeter and gildroy lockhart could ever make me cry... i was wrong to never think soAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! Wow, I'm so happy my story could have that effect on you...I mean, not that I want you to cry, but at the same time, it's like YES! Hahaha... :) Report Review
Such a lovely story and very beautifully written! Great characterization too... especially Rita. It takes a talented writer to write a good Rita. Thanks for sharing!! xoxoAuthor's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing. I really enjoyed writing Rita, and I love hearing that people enjoy reading her. I'm working on a concept right now that would follow her from her younger years into her career because she's just too much fun to write! :) Report Review
Oh, a Rita centric fic...don't see many of these! Your descriptions at the beginning are marvelous. It's interesting that you wrote almost a prologue for this one shot, providing the background and childhood information for her and then breaking completely to start the main part of the story. It was an effective strategy here even though you may lose some readers since there is little action to propel the one shot in the 'prologue' portion.
The back and forth between Lockhart and Rita was priceless. You captured both of their characters and used those traits to play them off of each other. The dialogue was quick, snappy and exactly as you'd expect with those two. So great job there!
It's hard to envision either of these two caring about anyone other than themselves but you've managed to craft a believable relationship between them. I would have liked to have seen a bit more description scattered in to the story to give me a better sense of time and place but the way in which you wrote it, I think, serves the characters personalities well despite this omission. It's a well rounded piece of writing with a fabulous glimpse into two characters we don't see a lot of in fanfic and I applaud you sticking your neck out for the lesser knowns. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the prologue. I have a tendency to include short snippets in my writing outside of the fanfiction world, but this is the only time I've really done that here.
:) The snappy dialogue was the most fun part to write. I'm a bit sassy, so it flowed well for me, making the characters so much fun to write.
The believability was by far the most difficult part to think of. I mean, they're both so ruthless and greedy! But I loved the idea of a doomed, fated love. I'll keep in mind the suggestion about descriptions. That's one I think I get more often in reviews, so I'll have to remember for future fics. (Or edits!) I honestly enjoy writing about the minor characters far more because I love having that room to play around with them. And, it's a bonus because people looking for a fix in that area have fewer places to go. Thanks! Report Review
this is a really clever little story, really well written, and also quite believable, which is difficult with two such diffirent, difficult, characters. i really enjoyed it, and would be interested if you updated it, though I don't necessarily think it needs itAuthor's Response: Thank you very, very much for the review! :D And it's nice to get several different opinions on my ideas at the end, about whether or not to continue, so I really appreciate your input!! Report Review
Sorry I took a while to get around to you.
I loved the descriptions you used in this story, I could really picture the scenes without them being too overbearing, great job with them.
Awe, the part where she was on the bookshelf and 'Roy' obliviated the man's memory, I felt so sorry for them.
I like the way we can still see the Rita we know from the books, and all hate but you added a new other side to her that makes her seem at least a bit decent. Lol.
The part where all the 'and' got to me, it slowed the story down and made it sound like a list. That could totally just be me. Other than that this piece flowed very nicely.
It's so nice to read a completely different take on two characters that not a lot of people would even write about, thank you for writing it =p
So because she found love she was no longer a beetle? Am I right?
I think you should keep it as a one-shot or if you really really want to write a novella, than start a new story, but leave this one the way it is- it's lovely.
10/10Author's Response: Hey! No problem at all. I'm actually about 6 stories behind myself on my own review thread. (Although, in my defense, people don't seem to understand that "queue closed" means I'm not taking anymore requests for a week or so...) Hahahah
It thrills me that you liked the balance I put into my Rita. It's hard to make a hated character bearable to the reader without twisting her so much that it's not believable. Finding that balance (and deciding how to write Gilderoy when he's crazy) were the hardest parts of writing this.
I think I know which part you're referring to. Where she walks out on him at the restaurant? I actually thought a lot about that, so it's funny you mention it. Every time I look back, I have a different opinion. Sometimes I love the way it goes, and other times I want it to go away. No matter what, though, I haven't yet found a way to re-write it. But you pointing it out has inspired me to try harder! Thanks!
Yes! Exactly. Too many people have been confused by that ending, so it REALLY makes me happy that you got it. I meant for it to be a little ambiguous, but I'm worried I might have taken it too far. Thanks for being such a perceptive reader, though. Made my night!
I like your idea of writing a spin-off novella. I hadn't considered it, but now that I think about it, that might make more sense. AND, I just found the perfect banner up for grabs... Oh, dear!
Thank you so much for your detailed review. It's been very helpful and flattering. :) I think this story is the first where I've had readers thank me for writing. It's the most wonderful compliment I've ever received, and I'll always cherish it! Report Review
What a unique story. Your characters of Lockhart and Rita go so well together. I like how they share their secret with one another (well forced to share) and decide to keep the secrets for one another.
I also liked the part about how Rita grew into the woman she became. How she always liked to tell her own bedtime stories with her mother. very good.
The only thing I would suggest is putting some description between the dialogue especially when they are arguing. Just to break it up a little.
And I would say just write an ending for this, I don't think it needs to be turned into a longer story, unless you have an idea for it to be. Or maybe you could break this up and make it a short story depending on how long a new ending would make it.
I also think it's believable for these characters to be together, at least in the way you wrote them.
well done and thanks for writing.Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review!
This is probably the story I've been the most unsure of before posting, so I can't even begin to tell you how encouraging all of the reviews have been. And surprising!
I'm also happy that the readers have taken a liking to the backstory I gave to Rita. That and the scene where their secrets are discovered are the ones that I was most unsure of. And they're oddly the most popular. I guess the theme here is that when I feel completely unsure of myself, good is sure to come of it? Hopefully?
Thanks for pointing that out to me. The ending was written in more of a rush so that I could get the story in on time for a challenge, and so I know I skipped over some parts where I normally would have incorporated more detail. Your suggestion will come in handy when I have the time to go back and add more in where it's needed. (:
I'm getting so many mixed feelings on this. My new inclination is to perhaps write a spin-off, although I'm not sure about that either. I'm either leaving this one as is, with a cleaner ending, and writing a spin-off OR I'm changing this into a short story/novella, which I would probably only do when I'm through with my current challenges or a TA. (Ha. Never.)
=] Thanks so much for leaving me a thoughtful review. I love it when feedback gives me something to think about. Report Review
Wow! Hello, dear! I'm here with your review.
I think this is the most interesting pairing I have ever read, and I quite enjoyed it!
It was nice to see something new and refreshing like this. And it was also nice to see Lockart in a better light. I also liked how you nicknamed him Roy. It really characterizes him in a much better way and can show how a woman might come to love him.
Your wonderful plot aside, you wrote brilliantly too. At first, I was mesmerized by this woman. You painted a picture brilliantly in my head and it stuck throughout the whole fic, playing in my head like an HD movie.
10/10Author's Response: Wow-ee!!! Thank you for making my night!
I'm so happy that people are enjoying the crazy things that my mind has somehow managed to think are possible.
I was worried about characterization, and how to keep it within reason, but still pushing them in direction people really don't choose to follow. Noticing little things like "Roy" makes me smile!
HD movie!!! Yeesh, you're going to be responsible for sending me to St. Mungo's with an inflated head! Thank you so much for your super-ultra-mega-extremely nice review.
...And I'm going to shamelessly plug by saying that if you really enjoyed this one, it's been nominated for a Dobby for best Minor Character! *wink wink* ;)
V Report Review
This is stellar! I am really amazed by how well you wrote a romance between two minor characters who are not written very much (hardly at all) in fanfiction. In fact, after I finish this review I think I'm going to pop over to the forums and nominate this for the Best Minor Character Dobby. You did an amazing job getting inside Rita's mind and adding more depth to her, while at the same time writing her in a way that remains true to the parts of her that aren't so great (I hope that made sense).
Your writing is excellent, and flows very well, and I can't put my finger on it, but there's something very unique about it. I've never read anything else by you, but in this one-shot your writing style seemed to fit Rita's character -- something about it matched the way Rita would write. You sort of romanticized Rita in a way that reminds me of Rita's sensational writing -- it was a wonderful effect. I particularly enjoyed your physical descriptions; whereas I usually don't like too much description of a character's physical appearance, when you're writing Rita Skeeter I think it's absolutely essential to her character. The first couple of paragraphs, for example, were excellent, and drew me in right away.
I also like the length of this piece. Usually I don't like reading chapters that are so long, but in this case it was fitting, and I never felt like the story was dragging. I would definitely read more RitaRoy written by you! Would you be planning on adding more chapters to this one, or writing a short story separate from this piece? Because I have to say I like this as a stand-alone one-shot, but on the other hand I would love to read a longer RitaRoy piece! (I also thought I'd point out that -- while I don't know if there is already a Rita/Gilderoy ship discussion thread over at the forums -- if there were such a thread I think the title of this one-shot would be the perfect nickname for the ship! Beetles and Butterflies!)
There were a few moments in this one-shot that I thought were very clever. The best, I think, was when Rita turned back into a human in the library after Roy had Obliviated Arnold, and they both said, "So, that's how you do it." Clever!! And neither could be totally angry at the other, because they were both deceptive! I also enjoyed the interview at the end, where Roy started reciting their old conversation from before he lost his memory. It was humorous and sad at the same time.
I always hate when I don't have any constructive criticism to give, but really, I enjoyed this a lot. It was so thorough and well-written and charming. Rita irritated the heck out of me in the HP series, but I actually like your Rita!
MelanieAuthor's Response: Hahahha! What a coincidence! I nominated you for the best one-shot! (Hardboiled...I read it practically nightly. It's pure genius.) Thank you very much for the nomination. I don't think anything has made me so happy in ages! I honestly thought I stood no chance, as a relatively new and unknown author. :D Squee!
I think that I'm going to keep this as a one-shot for now, and then maybe expand it into a short story/novella later. Or, I may just make a spin-off. But I've fallen too hard for RitaRoy to never write it again. Plus, I have way too many scenes in my head that need to be written down! Hmm...I may just have to start a RitaRoy thread. Would that be too self-indulgent? I just love the thought of them together.
Hee hee. I cackled to myself as I wrote that scene, and I think my mom thought I was insane. It was sort of pivotal, but I still wanted there to be a little humor. And I must give credit to The Notebook for inspiring me on the last bit. When I thought of RitaRoy, that's the memory it sparked in my mind. (Although The Notebook has a humor factor of about .03) ;)
I love constructive criticism, but your review was just as helpful! It's nice to know I'm doing something right. XD Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a nice review, and once again for the nomination. Even if it's the only one I get, just know that you've honestly made my summer.
V Report Review
Well, well, well... I think I may have ran out of praise when reviewed your last fic but this one just warrants MORE.
The dialog is perfect. Lockharts speech is typical of him and seems very canon :) as does Rita's! She was PERFECT. I was fairly amazed by some of the lines she would come out with. How do you reply to some of those?! But, of course, Rita met her match with Gilderoy... and it was, strangely, adorable. And believable.
Just one thing; When Lockhart said he interviews himself, I cracked up with laughter. Possibly one of the best lines I've read today. The fact that he's so frazzled after obliviating himself makes so much more sense with your input of lines like that. He's a true mad-man at heart xD
There were no mistakes :D and YES I would LOVE more. It seems as if the ending is just crying out for more to be added on, or for there to be more chapters. So, either choice would be good :). That and I want to see Rita have her happy ending. Despite being a bit of a cow, I think she deserves it if she loves him. Which she clearly does.
Every factor of this is, pretty much, brilliant. How can I not give you a 10/10?! And, possibly, another favourite. Why do you have to be so good :(Author's Response: Well, well, well...Just when I stopped blushing after your last review! But WOOT for improvement!!
Dialogue is definitely something I tend to shy away from, as I'm sure you saw in my last fic. When I realized that I absolutely needed it here, it took me forever to force myself to write it. I feel so exposed when I do dialogue, you know? You think you come up with something witty, and everyone else just wonders what the heck you were thinking when you wrote it! (Or at least, that's the scene that plays out in my dialogue nightmares!)
I went back to the chapter where Rita is introduced to make sure I wasn't taking too many liberties with her description, and to make sure that the voice I had in my mind for her wasn't overly eloquent (and I was happy to find that she *is* portrayed as intelligent, in my mind!) But Lockhart, I was too lazy, I admit, to look back on. I guess I also didn't want to mess with my impression of him when he went crazy. So I feel like I just won the lottery when you compliment his canon-ness. Yay memory! Yay instinct!
I don't think I've ever had as much fun (or as much trouble) as when I wrote Lockhart. I've never read anything with him in it, except for Harry Potter, of course, but he isn't shown interacting with adults that much. So, I really had the option of taking him in several different directions, and I thought to myself, "Well, he's obviously smart, since he pulled off such a big hoax. But he's got to be crazy to even attempt such a thing." There's got to be a darkness, but at the same time, I don't really think he thought of himself as all that bad. You know how pathological liars actually convince themselves that what they're saying is the truth? So I saw him in that light, which allowed me to create more sympathy for him, I guess. And add a twisted, yet comical side. He always makes a pointed effort to show that he is different from everyone else, so I knew that he had to actually embrace the quill, rather than fear it like everyone else. It's like he thinks he's invincible.
:D Yay! This seems to be the reaction I'm getting! This story has just been nominated for best minor character in the Dobby's, so I don't think I'll make any huge changes to it at the moment (especially since I'm not a TA, being a fairly new author, and I have more one-shots already written that I just need to put through the queue) but I think I'm going to expand this into a multi-chaptered short story/novella. I'll let you know when that happens, because I think you'll like the twist at the end ;)
I wish authors could rate reviews! 10/10 for you! You're always so sweet, but you also really help me to pinpoint what's working out best so I can use it to my advantage in the next story. Thanks to the stars and back for your thoughtful review!!! I'll be sure to request for more when I have them. XD Totally made my day. Report Review
Ok, first off I want to tell you I really enjoyed this. For a first romance you've done a first-rate job! I know you weren't sure about this pairing, and I admitt that I wasn't sure at first how Rita and Gilderoy would work together, but after reading this I think you pulled it off beautifully. My hesitation was primarily the fact that both of these characters don't seem the type to really truly feel love for another - most stories with this pairing I've come across have been humor/parodies. But by having them both feeding off each other, each seeking to gain advantage from the relationship keeps them completely in character. And yet, it is this conniving characteristic in both that allow the bond to form between them, and you can tell there is genuine passion between them. On a side note, I really liked your backstory for why Rita is so closed off to feeling love.
As for your ending, it was my favorite part of the story! I loved seeing Rita completely take charge of things. Her arrogance in the books was always off-putting but here all I thought was "You go girl!" Or, you know, something similar that is appropriate for this decade. The tenderness in this meeting between Rita and Glideroy is evident, and I could feel her heartbreak when she realized how far away Gilderoy was from the man she had fallen in love with.
Finally, in respone to your questions about adding to the ending, I personally found the story long to begin with - I took a few breaks while reading. So if you feel like there is more to the story than what is written here I would advise you to expand into a novella. That way you won't have to worry about squeezing your ending in without making this too long.
Speaking of long, I better wrap this review up before it's just as long as the story itself. :) Great job with this!Author's Response: :D Thanks for your review! I can't even begin to express how much it means to me that I completely turned around your view of the ship. When it came to mind, I just had to give it a go! And you really just described the relationship I had in mind perfectly, so I'm glad that it came off that way. And haha, the backstory was really my inspiration for everything else. It's the first thing that came to mind, the first thing I wrote, and I was a little worried that people wouldn't connect with it. I'm glad you did!
Hahahaha! I would say that, "You go girl!" is about the only way to describe it, no matter the decade. ;) And I'm elated that you enjoyed the ending. It was by far the most difficult piece to write. I had no personal reference for memory loss, reunion of lovers, or even the emotions running between the two of them. I always feel nervous when I go into territories where I'm forced to write what I think, and not what I know.
I may take you up on your advice and make it a novella, although I think I'll post a few other stories first. I wish it was possible for me to have this one shot and a novella version and still have that abide by the ToS, but alas, I don't think it will work. So, I think once I push some of my other stories through the queue, I may come back to this and extend it. There are a few scenes that I left out, but I had in my head, where their relationship is growing and where it is falling apart. (I also can't remember if I kept in the scene at the awards banquet and ball? I don't think I did. It's sort of the peak of their relationship, where they really mesh like cogs and act as one. It's simultaneously parasitic and endearing, if that makes any sense at all.)
Thanks so much for your thorough review. I love the long ones! Report Review
Hey, it's DarkRose from the forums!
First off: thanks so much for participating in the challenge; you did brilliantly.
I NEVER would've thought to write a pairing like this, let alone read it. :] Amazing job!
I loved your characterization.
It flows really nicely.
The entire thing is just put together magnificently and for such a challenging pair, you did so well!
I applaud you.
The only thing you might want to change is the last line. First off, who's speaking? Rita, right? Second, what does it mean? It's just a bit confusing.
Other than that, you did wonderfully! Great job!
--DracoFerret11/DarkRoseAuthor's Response: Oh, wow! I think I requested a review from you without even thinking about the fact that this was for your challenge. Hahaha! Anyway, I'm going to post a link closer to the deadline on that thread so that you have the most recent version, but you definitely don't have to read it after I make changes. ;)
And THANK YOU for such a glowing review. I must admit, I'm really nervous about this story. For one, no one is ever going to find it. Hahahah, who in their right mind will search for RitaRoy? (*fingers crossed that the pair catches on*)
Your review is honestly making me blush right now, especially since you have no idea what hours of the night I was up writing this. Thought it would come out horribly!
The ending is what's bothering me, too. The thing is, I know what happens next, and I want to include it, but I don't want it to be too long. So I had trouble figuring out how to end it there. Yes, it's Rita speaking. You know how Tonk's patronus changed? (Am I right in thinking it was Tonks?) Anyway, I thought that maybe animagi could change as well. Rita was a beetle, which is kind of a creepy creature, because of how relentless she was as a reporter. But, when she made the decision with Gilderoy not to expose his secret, even though it would bring her fame beyond belief as a reporter, her animagus form changed into a butterfly...which I'm thinking about changing because I know that goes against canon, since that "transformation" would occur before Hermione discovers Rita's secret. Ahh! I'm confusing myself, even. Maybe I'll just end it at Gilderoy's comment. Or add my extended ending...
Anyway, I'll let you know if I make major changes! Thanks so much for checking it out. It truly was fun to write. I'm secretly in love with this pair now. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection