Love the story so far. ^^
I like how you portray Scorpius. ^^ Report Review
I'm so sorry. I barely read the chapter. From the tiny bits and pieces I read, its amazing. I have a story (except its hidden, I'll have to fix that) with the main character called Arianna. I just really tired right now and can't read straight. My mind is frazzled.
Idea: You should have Draco not like the fact that his daughter isn't in Slytherin or something. Or maybe she has an enemy and they fight. I don't know. 9/10!Author's Response: thanks for the info! ! ! ! i'll be sure to take your suggestions into consideration! !
Ari Report Review
I found this after seeing your name on a review board on TwoHawksHunting.
Wishing for more!Author's Response: thanks!! im wishing for more too. . . .but writers block has hit me again! !any advie would be nice. . . . Report Review
I like Ariane and Scorpius' relationship. It's believable for twins (at least I would imagine, not actually having a twin myself). I read the other reviews and I agree that there's too much wands for first years. They all acted a bit too intense. Maybe the Malfoy's parents wouldn't care, but I feel like the Potters would have taught their boys better care with magic, and definitely better respect. The intensity just felt too fierce and grown-up for eleven year olds, but if you tone that down a bit, I bet it will feel more natural. Excited to see where it goes.
PS, I like that we've both created female Malfoys, and I like how different they are!Author's Response: again,i am hopefully going to fix the wand issue, but im currently writing another fanfiction, me and my friend made up and i dont want to forget anything so as soon as i get as far as i can i'll come back and fix this one and then get another chapter up,hopefully by then my writers block will be gone and i can actually finish the second chapter. glad to see im not the only one who made up a Malfoy Girl and hope you like the rest of my story when i get it up!
Ariane A. Report Review
I like the relationship between the two siblings and i hope that they don't fight now that they are in separate houses. I noticed something though, how would first years know a cutting curse, that's really advanced magic that maybe a fifth year would know, but not a first, second, or third year. Otherwise a very good start.Author's Response: that DOES make sense,i'll fix it,thanks for liking it so far,im having major writers block with the begining of the next chapter,Snape billowed in for potions class and thats as far as i got,any advice? Report Review
I hope you don't get me hooked on this story and then don't update. I liked it except I thought there was a little too much wands being pulled out for no good reason and by first years who are on their first train trip to Hogwarts. That wasn't too convincing. So I think if you were to rewrite, those are the parts I'd rewrite--I could see name calling and a few fist fights but not pulling out a wand every time they saw someone they didn't like.Author's Response: makes sense. . . .thanks! But Scorpius being a Malfoy Draco and Pansy taught them some magic when they got their letters, and i've gotten writers block and stuck in the middle of the next chapter,but i dont plan on abandoning it anytime soon!! Report Review
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