I really love this story! I have read some of your work before and I love your writing style! This story is sexy, sadistic, and intriguing! I and am looking forward to reading more please update soon!!! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much! Ah, you compliment me far too much! I'm really glad you liked the introduction, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon...ish :) Thanks again! Report Review
Wow this is great =) Please update soon =)Author's Response: I'm trying :) Thank you so much for reading! Report Review
Hello, WeasleyTwins here to review for Round 11 at TGS :]
So, I have to admit something. I don't tell many people this, but I'm secretly the biggest Dramione fan of them all. It's so ridiculed and bashed on, I just keep my mouth shut. But this, this story, I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut about it. What a fantastic piece of fanfiction. You didn't start off with a bunch of nonsense about why Hermione loves Draco, you showed us the relationship, the passion, the love. There is a certain confidence that comes out of your writing that had me hooked from the very first paragraph.
I must say that I loved the sexual banter. It was very appropriate for the scene and mixed nicely with the heated description. The quote at the beginning of the chapter really tied this first bit together. I thought it spoke loads for the story.
I only saw one little thing that bothered me and it was just a simple word. At the end of the scene you say, "...a quick kiss in a deserted room, a hasty shag when their spouses were out..." This is really, really nitpicky and I don't mean to offend in any way. But I honestly believe that the word 'shag' really threw me off. Only a few sentences before you said that Hermione loved Ron, but she loved Draco more. From a woman's standpoint, I wouldn't call a bout of love-making a 'shag' if I loved the person deeply. However, you're the author and it's your writing, so there is nothing wrong with what you have now, I'm just stating my opinion.
Overall, this was just gorgeous and I am favoriting it. You must let me know when the next chapter is up.
ShelbyAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you so much! I squeed a little when I saw this XD
I'm a closet Dramione fan, too - it comes and goes for me :D But it does get a lot of crap and I resent that. The ship has so much potential, but some fics come along - where Hermione is gorgeous, Draco is sweet, Ron is abusive and Harry is oblivious - and I think they give it a bad rep :(
Anyway, ending tangent, lol. I'm glad you liked this! It's extremely flattering to hear :D I think the "confidence" you saw was merely a facade - I'm very nervous about this piece and am terrified to get everything wrong! I've set myself up with a complex plot and I have no idea if I'm going to be able to pull it off :(
You're the first person to comment on the quote! I thought it rather fitting :)
I understand your concern (and am in now way offended at all! I love crit :D), but I actually used the word "shag" for a purpose - it actually represents their rushed and secretive relationship. They can't spend awful amounts of time together because they are frightened of being caught out. Their love (and hence, the sex) isn't beautiful, special or anything like that - it's rushed, hasty, tinged with fear. It's the most basic way of them being together, but it has to be...er, "efficient", so to speak. Am I making sense? Sorry! I hope you can understand what I mean. I think I'll send you a PM about it :)
Thank you for such an awesome review :) I really appreciate it, thank you! Report Review
This was spectacularly awesome! Jellyman, honestly, I don't even know why you would need a review telling you your stories are good, seeing, as like I said, they're spectacularly awesome! But, anyway, I like to give reviews to you. You don't really need them, though.
Okay, this chapter started out really good. It caught my attention, so that's why I continued to read. Usually, for me, the beginning of the first chapter of a story leaves a first impression on my mind, and it determines whetting or not I'll read it. If I don't like the beginning, chances are I won't read it. Well, that has nothing to do with you, since all of your first chapters catch my attention. Oh, there I go again, rambling. It's a terrible habit of mine when I leave a review, as you probably noted.
The guilt Hermione's feeling is of course, natural. She loves Ron, but she loves Draco more. But, if she loved Ron, she wouldn't be doing this to him. Having an affair is always so difficult. I always love a story like this. When the person having the affair is telling the story. It makes you see why people have affairs. They don't just go out and say "Hey, I'm gonna go have an affair!" There has to be something, some feeling, or spark hidden, and then it erupts, like a volcano. Wow, now I'm comparing affairs to volcanoes? What did I have for breakfast to day?
I always thought that Astoria would be different. Like, she would be nice. I mean, she must have had a lot of patience, marrying Draco. If Draco was bad before they met. But, they probably were so compatible, that's why they married here. But, like i said, I always thought that Astoria would be nice. I think it's because all the stories, I read have nice Astoria's in them. So, I'm interested too see how you make Astoria as a character, if she's gonna play a huge role. Well, she must play something, becasue she's Draco's wife, the victim of having her husband in a love affair, right? Well, whatever you come up with, I'm sure it'll be great.
Haha, I liked Ron's reaction when Draco kissed Hermione. And Hermione's reaction. It just made me feel like laughing for some reason.
Well, wonderful as always, and I can't wait to see what happens next with this couple. I'm sure it'll be an interesting ride!Author's Response: Have I told you lately how much I love you?
You are amazing :D Thank you so much for this awesome review! And don't be silly - of course I need reviews! Everyone needs validation in what they write, yes? Well, I do...especially something like this, which I haven't tried before.
I'm really glad you thought the beginning was "eye catching" - my goal was to shock and then explain. The rest of the story will mostly be explanation :P I don't know how many "passionate" scenes I will write, strangely enough I don't find them hard to write at all. But this will probably be the most...intense, lol.
Hermione is complicated. She does love Ron, and I will show that in the story, but it's a different kind of love than the one for Draco. I won't ruin the story but I assure you, Hermione does love Ron.
Astoria! She's fun to write. She's very upper class and snobbish, as seen in this chapter. She doesn't approve of Hermione, simply because what she represents - progress. While she's not actually going to play a major role in the fact she will be around a lot - because it's from Hermione's perspective - but she will definitely be seen and heard :) I really hope you'll like her!
Again, thank you so much for such an awesome review! I'm really glad you liked the chapter, thank you so much for reading! ♥ Report Review
Haha, this is freakin' awesome!
You characterized them all very good.
:DAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you like it so far. Thanks so much for reading and, of course, reviewing! Report Review
I didn't notice until now that you had posted this! I know I already told you a lot of my thoughts on this, but I really like it so far -- which is saying something, because usually Dramiones and I don't get along!
I thought you did such a good job with the passion and all of the other emotions -- the awkwardness, the tension, Hermione's guilt, etc. I loved the part at the end with the kiss -- I can't believe he did that! Seems very much like him, though...very arrogant, pushing boundaries, and the like. And thus far, Hermione and Draco are still both in character! *cheers*
Can't wait to see where this goes!
10/10Author's Response: Thank you for the awesome review! I'm really glad you are enjoying so far. It's going to be a very difficult plot for me (with my limited experiences with actual plots, lol) to pull off so I hope I can do it some justice - it looks quite good in my head, so hopefully it doesn't turn to crap :)
I'm really glad you thought they were in-character! I'm actually quite terrified of trio-era, because their characterizations are so...exact. There is no room for the creative license I usually exercise in my Marauder and Next-Gen, so I'm very anxious about getting them at least passable. Hence the kiss - it's just something I can totally see Draco doing in such a situation. Thank you :D
Again, thank you for the kind review! This is getting a little bit long and I think you're going to get a little bored reading it, so I'm going to finish here :) Thank you so much!
P.S. I totally forgot to credit you for all your help! Will totally slot that into the next chapter :D Report Review
It looks like Hermione and Draco have set themselves up in a very precarious situation. I'm curious as to how things are going to play out between them in the future. I'm also really curious as to when they got together. How did it happen? Why are they still with their spouses... There is so much yet to know! :)Author's Response: Yes, they have a lot to answer for! I'm planning on having a sort of dual chapter thing going on - one chapter for the past (i.e. how they got together) then one from the present, and alternate between between them. Basically, I'm going to show when they were "happy" and when their worlds collide in the present. Hopefully I can pull it off :) Thank you so much for reading, and of course reviewing! Report Review
Oooh I like it. I wanna see where you take it from here.Author's Response: Thanks! Next chapter will be up...in a while. I'm about to start exams, so I'm all about preparation at the moment :( But there will be another chapter, lol, mark my words ;) Thank you so much for reading! Report Review
This is SAUCEY! It's like...Desperate Housewives meets ...I don't know. But something equally decieving. :DAuthor's Response: Haha, I've only ever watched Desperate Housewives once (it had some hottie gardener in it, but it was like in the middle of the season so I didn't get it, lol) but I like the sound of that :D I hope you enjoy the rest! Thanks so much for reading! Report Review
It was a very passion filled chapter, I can't wait to read the next one.Author's Response: Thank you! The next chapter will be a while, considering I'm about to start exams :) Report Review
I LOVE IT. seriously. keep writing. new favourite :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! That means a lot, thank you :) Report Review
Draco didn't exactly cover himself in glory in DH and Hermione saw that first hand. So far, I can't accept that she would be so in love with him.Author's Response: I haven't actually got to that yet, but I can accept your opinion of course. The birth, I guess, of their relationship will be explained throughout the story :) Thank you for being so honest, I hope you can stick around for future chapters! I would love to see whether I can convince you :) Report Review
this is my kind of story!! I LOVE ITAuthor's Response: Thank you! Glad you are enjoying it so far :) Report Review
I've become a fan of your writing and very excited about this story. I don't know if your familiar with "A Previous Life" by mrdarcy. I know its the first chapter but I'm hoping it won't parallel this story (notice the pairings). Trying not to jump to conclusions, update soon.Author's Response: Of course. I haven't actually read it - I haven't read any Draco/Hermione for a while, especially not DH compliant - but I did check it out after you mentioned it (by checking it out, I mean read the summary). Hopefully, my story will be very different, although it will be similar in some aspects (the Draco/Hermione affair being the most obvious) as, for what I have plotted so far, it will share similar complications and themes, most of which are common place in affair stories. I will do my best. Thank you so much for bringing that fic to my attention, I will be sure to watch what I write :) Report Review
Like the grabbing-your-attention start. Keep updating cause it's really intersting. =)Author's Response: Thank you so much! Report Review
Great story! I like how Hermione is so guilty of what she's doing with Draco, while he carries on being haughty. Keep updating :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like them, I'm working really hard to keep them in character :) Report Review
This is really interesting. I don't normally read Dramiones, but since I know you to be a talented writer, I thought I'd give it a shot. :)
The way you described and wrote everything was rather clever of you. It seemed dangerous to have them in a closet so close to Ron and Astoria, and I have a feeling things are about to get even more dangerous in the next couple chapters.
I liked how you made Hermione and Draco so in canon. Usually writers go a bit OOC in Dramiones, but this was different. You wrote Draco just as clever and haughty as ever, and Hermione actually felt guilty for doing what she was doing with Draco. That's a first, I think. ;)
I am eager to see where you make this story go. 10/10-like usual. :)Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! This means so much :D
Oh, I'm glad you liked it - you're right, things are definitely going to get more difficult for them, more than either can imagine :)
Hermione and Draco are characters I find so hard to keep in character. Draco is essentially selfish, I find it so hard to write him. Hermione...is complex. I don't know how I'm going to keep her in character. I really hope I can do them justice :)
Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I'm so glad you liked it, thank you! ♥ Report Review
I really like how you began your story! it makes me want to read on . . . i cant wait! update soon please!
XD!Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it :) Report Review
very good story!!! please update soon^^Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying so far! Report Review
Wow, this is some really good writing. Your writing flows easily and is really captivating. The plot is well thought out and extremely well writen. I just want to read more and more! Please, please keep updating, I also plan to read some more of your stories because I just love your writing style!
This is so good so far! Please keep going with it!
XXXAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much! That really means a lot that you like it; thank you, thank you, thank you! I wasn't sure how this would be received - it has a lot of loose ends, even for a prologue, but to hear this really made my day :D Thank you so much! Report Review
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