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Reading Reviews for A Jacket for Love
  
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cdiggory23 A Jacket for Love

31st August 2009:
I loved it! I thought it was really sweet and that it was perfect! Lol! Great job and I hope to see another story like it soon! :D

Author's Response: I will try to write more stories like this one, but at the moment I am writing a story that takes up pretty much all of my writing time [I started a new sememster at college] But I will keep writing stories like this when I find time to do so. :) Thanks for reviewing!

Piper Weasley


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Review #2, by writergirl8 A Jacket for Love

30th August 2009:
Hello! I'm going to get constructive here, and I'm writing this as though you're planning to re-write this because I have some advice to make it better.

Writing: Very good. You have the tone of the story down pat, and I could tell how you wanted to mood to be. 10.

Storyline/Plot: It was a creative idea, putting Hermione and Percy together. I never would have thought of it, as he's slightly older, but it could make sense because Hermione's spent a lot of time at the Burrow. I enjoyed the title of the story being jacket themed, and I thought it was very cute. A few things:

1.If you were going to re-submit this story, I would mention why Percy doesn't know who Hermione is. She's spent every single summer at the Burrow, and I think that he would know, no matter how self/work absorbed he is. Also, I'm pretty sure throughout the books Ms. Rowling has them talking about school and books together. How many years has it been since the war, if that has anything to do with it.

2.I think, to add more humor into it, you might want it to be so that in the beggining you hear bits of the girls' interviews. You also might want to make Marietta less likable. I felt bad when she didn't get the job.

3.I think everything happened too fast. Kiss: No. Sex: Yeah. Love: Yeah. You might want to span it out a little, saying something like '3 weeks later...' ect. You know what I mean.

4. Part with the eyes, and noticing how pretty Hermione is: Brilliant. Part in the elevator: loved it. First kiss: Very sweet. 8.

Characterization: Good. The quick-to-temper thing with Percy was nice, and I liked how Hermione was shy, sweet, and shyly confident... which is totally confusing but that's my fault, not yours, lol. 9.

Romance: YAY! Sweet, adorable, cute romantic. 10.

Spelling: Didn't notice anything. You seem like a true spell-checker. Or maybe you're just good at spelling. Either way, 10!

Grammar: Okay, I have to warn you... I'm not brill at grammar. I mean, if there's something really noticeable, I'll notice it, but otherwise, no. So, luckily for you, I was so engrossed in the story I didn't notice any grammar mistakes. 10.

Overall: A good story. I enjoyed it, although I wonder why you aren't getting more reviews. I think it's because Hermione/Percy isn't the most popular pairing. If you made this Dramione, I think it would have more reviews. This isn't personal to you, it's just the pairing. Overall: 97%. Which is not bad, at all. This is good: keep writing. Don't be offended by my frank comments. ~writergirl8

Author's Response: I am not offended in anyway about your comments. I actually got the idea for the Hermione/Percy idea from another story, if it was a Dramone paiting, it wouldn't have been as believable with the not remembering her part [people normally remember them if they hated them] and as for the shortness of the timeline, I couldn't quite fit the whole jacket thing with the story if it took up more "time" [the challenge it was written for made it too difficult to do so.] But I love all of the feedback you gave. I will keep all of it in mind with the next story I am writing. Thanks for the feedback!!!

Piper Weasley


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