I must say, I am really beginning to enjoy your stories about Remus.
I sincerely hope you write a longer fiction about him...if you have the time.
Thank you for the lovely stories... I have read 2/3 of all that you have written and hope to continue in the future.
xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm definitely thinking about it, as soon as the inspiration strikes. Thank you for being so supportive! I really appreciate it :) Report Review
This was soo cute! I love this line = “Or else Lily’s never going to date me!” finished James, looking as though he had just figured out the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle.
it makes me laugh each time I read it :P
great writing :DAuthor's Response: Haha! Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciated it :) Report Review
SO, I figured out a way to write my true review, by logging out. ;)
You maybe remember me from the shoutbox when it was around? I joined the forums late last year or early this year, but last week was my first time on in about three months due to illness. All better now! Or maybe you've read my story? But that's the exact reason for my penname! Oh, I posted on a thread where I explained it once...
Anyway! I checked this out because I'm also a part of the challenge this was for. Thank you, thank you, for being original in your portrayal of the Marauders!!! Remus gets girls, James goes after other girls besides Lily, and Peter actually play an important role besides that of a timid tag-along. :D What more could I ask for? You don't even understand how much it means to me that somebody decided to test the fanon and go beyond the cliches. I feel that these characters are so much closer to what JKR would have intended.
This line is a gem: "He thought stupidly for a moment that she was a figment of his imagination. Yes, that was it. He had hit his head and was seeing a projection of himself standing in the hallway. A projection of himself who had lovely long legs and a nice, round bosom." And the nerd-crush is so fantastic it made me instantly ship it! The phrase "serial daters" also made me giggle. And I LOVE that Remus got turned down for being too much of a player rather than not enough of a catch.
Your Sirius provides really nice comic relief, and isn't over the top. The line "His three friends" made me smile, again, because most people choose to just focus on James, Sirius, and Remus. There wouldn't be four Marauders if Peter wasn't liked by the others. They didn't even suspect him at first, and James trusted him to be the secret keeper! So, it irritates me when people write him as an annoying, untalented, unwitty, parasitic character. Your Peter, on the other hand, is included in the gang! He has his moments of brilliance looking out for Moony, with the schedule and the book club idea, and he even has a love life. Gasp!
OK, more favorite lines! There are so many! “Wait a minute, so you think that if I were to stop shagging other girls for the time being, Lily might consider actually going out with me?” - Had me on the floor laughing. Typical James, in a good way. ;) And priceless Sirius moment award goes to: “You’ve shagged her?!”
The ending was fluffy, warm, funny, and just right. (On a side note, I love Mr. Darcy too much for words. His inclusion made me smile.) The kiss was a nice surprise from Abigail, since she seemed very prude and isolated earlier on. It sort of sealed a happy beginning.
All in all, you struck the perfect balance of sensitivity and charm in Remus, without emasculating him like so many authors choose to do. I'm definitely going to have to read more of your work, and I really hope you choose to expand these characters, and maybe even the Abigail/Remus plotline. It's just too perfect to abandon.Author's Response: Hooray! SaladOrCellarDoor!
Actually, did you ever do anything with HPfanfic livejournal communities? I feel like I saw it there. Do you have a regular fanfiction[dot]net account? I was on there the other day for old times' sake, and I think that's where I saw it.
Well, thanks! I have alway had Remus get girls, although this was the most of a "playboy" that I've ever made him, so I was worried about the reception. I have been guilty of shoving aside Peter in the past, but I'm making sure to accept him more and more in my stories. I'm actually writing a story that features him right now (I think it's my way of saying sorry!).
That something that really irritates me, too. I think one of my least favorite lines to read is while authors are describing the Marauders, and they say, "And Peter was just...Peter." No, he really wasn't. He had his own personality and his own place in the Marauders.
Hahaha! I'm so glad that you appreciate my slightly rude sense of humor! I love to hear favorite lines :)
I'm probably going to let this story stand on its own. I love creating new characters, but I feel like if I drew them out longer, they would probably grow dry, y'know? I really appreciate the review, though! These long ones are my favorites :) Report Review
Aw how cute!!
You really got Sirius' character down. Not even remembering his ex's name!!! ^_^
Remus is so cool... as are his fellow marauders but we all know that!
marauderqueenAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your review! :) Report Review
Aw, this is CUTE! I wish it were a little longer, but it seems that's usually the case with one-shots. You never want them to end. :-)
I like how you wove in the quote I gave you -- it seemed very thematic. I also liked how you made Remus nearly as much of a playboy as James and Sirius -- it was a fun twist on the way the Marauders are often written.
There were several lines that were really great. A couple of my favorites were:
"He had hit his head and was seeing a projection of himself standing in the hallway. A projection of himself who had lovely long legs and a nice, round bosom."
"This is a lot of work for one lousy shag." (I must say, even putting the Sirius playboy stereotype aside for a moment, that line sounded very much like Sirius.)
In general, I thought you wrote the interaction among the Marauders very well. Very much like a group of arrogant teenage boys would actually sound.
And I liked how Remus actually had to prove himself to someone, and that way he did it using books was, for lack of a better word, adorkable. :-)
Thanks for entering this challenge! I really enjoyed reading this piece!Author's Response: My one-shots are always a bit on the short side, but I guess that's just the way I like them.
It was a twist on how I write them, too. I mean, I always make Remus as very popular with the ladies, but I've never actually written him with a slight streak of insensitivity. I'm really glad that it was accepted because I know that it's not accurate according to fanon.
I do love writing the Marauders because they kind of live in their own little kingdom. It's just so much fun.
Thank you so much for creating this challenge! I was a little nervous when I first entered 'cuz I haven't even seen the movie of "SATC" but I really enjoyed writing this. Thanks for the review :) Report Review
really cute...i love this booky, awkward lupin!!! in all the other stories he's sarcastic and slick. please write more, i love it!Author's Response: Thank you! I was actually worried because this is the least awkward and nice that I've ever written him, so I'm glad that you enjoyed it anyway. Report Review
:D Hopefully HPFF lets you review a chapter twice, because I need to review this, but I need to go to bed. 10/10 for now, but wait for my real review tomorrow! Ah! SO happy I found this.Author's Response: Haha, thank you! I've definitely creeped on you somewhere before because I remember your penname and how those are the two most beautiful phrases in the English language. I don't remember where I did, though. Report Review
lol loved it! you portray the marauders so well =) 10/10Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
So after that review you left me, I just had to stop by (it's true, we do have ridiculously long authors pages!) and I saw you entered the Sex and the City challenge too! I had to read your entry :) It's not often Remus is portrayed with any sort of active love life, so I started out with high expectations for this from the onset. And you did not disappoint! I really liked it, it was sweet and fluffy, two things I haven't read for a while :) I like how you showed the relationship between the Marauders, it really was well done. I always imagine it to be something like that. Anyway, this was great, I really enjoyed it! Thanks for writing :)
Favorite line: "James, when have you spent any alone time with her? When have you spoken to her unless it was about classes or to ask her out?" said Remus, continuing on his relationship rampage. "You're the one who's deluded. It's no wonder she won't date you."Author's Response: Sheesh! You are a reading machine! I will most likely be dropping by your author page again. I like your stuff, too :)
This was a risk for me. I usually write Remus with a little bit of a playboy streak, but it's much more toned down than this. I was a little nervous as to how this was going to be received since everyone loves him as the shy, bookish one. I'm so glad that you liked this, though. The Marauders have always been my favorites to write about :) Report Review
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