Hi! Naida here with your requested review!
Well, it certainly was original. The plot was something that I would bever expect of James Potter, but at the same time, I liked that you showed his fear. It proves that he wasn't perfect at everything. The memory/flashback type thing was the best part by far. You wrote that really well and I think without it, the story would have been half of what it is with it.
James character was perfect. He was still proud, but he was afraid of something. Remus was also perfect. He would definitely be the one marauder that would sit with James instead of being in the water, and I like how you added the animgai element with him.
I didn't know if you meant you wanted this to be entertaining as in funny or entertaining as in fun to read, because it was definitely the latter. I think it was a nice, simple one-shot with an original idea. If you meant for it to be funny, I didn't see that in there, but you're not telling a funny story. Overall, I think you did a great job!Author's Response: Well, I certainly didn't mean for it to be seen as funny. I guess what I meant by 'entertaining' was that you would have rather read this than count the tiles on the ceiling.
I wrote this story because I got sick of the consept of James being completely perfect, because it makes him come across as not being human. I'm hoping giving him a real, and not quite rational, fear.
And I'm glad this story accomplishes that. Report Review
I thought that was absolutely brilliant! I will definitely be checking out your other fics at a later date!
It was beautifully written and entirely believable, even in such a short amount of writing I felt like I knew them. I can be really picky about the characterizations of The Marauders but you did it absolutely perfectly. Even from the short mention about Sirius and Pete to Remus and James' conversation.
I would love it if you made this into a full length fic and yet I think that this is really good as a one-shot. It made James seem really small and somewhat vulnerable (but in a good way...that is a compliment I promise! :P) and showed the ties between them all.
So all in all, a fantastic story that I'm glad to have read! 100/10.
Feel free to request another review :D
~Roonyskatoony~Author's Response: Well, you did say Marauders were a favorite of yours. And I'll certainly have to come back to you for new reviews, as there are still plenty of oneshots to go. Report Review
Hi, I'm here from the forums with your review request!
I thought this was a nice little one-shot! It's nice to see the Marauders out of their element, no prank planning, no chasing girls or no bullying...just them. Most importantly, you've made them human.
I really liked how you wrote James. You'd never think he had his own fears under all that bravado of his. You've brought him down a notch or two. You've made his fear and the cause of it very believable. Remus was also very well written, it's just like him to be subtle and helpful.
However, some parts of this weren't exactly clear. I don't understand how Remus helped him. Also, you missed a word here: "Thank, Remus," he said quietly.
I really liked the feel of this story. You did a good job despite what I mentioned above!
LiaAuthor's Response: Yeah, the idea of James being afraid of water actually came from a very spirited discussion on Boggarts. As for thanking Remus, it was sort of meant to convey that Remus knows James is afraid to go in the water, but just doesn't say anything so James won't be embarrassed. Report Review
The explanation of the phobia I thought was really good and I like the fact that Remus went to help him in a manner because I think that's exactly what Remus would do, he would always put his friends over his fun
I really liked it =]
spam_up_sam xAuthor's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I wrote it in an attempt to make the great James Potter seem a bit more human. Report Review
Aw sweet. Loved it. It's nice to see Remus and James together. Coz y'know it's usually James and Sirius and such.
Liked it alot
10Author's Response: Yes, and it was great fun to write! Report Review
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