This had some serious emotion going on in it, dude. In the first part, I actually felt for Regulus from getting teased so much by Sirius when they were growing up. I can so understand how it is being tease and mocked by an older brother (I have three of them), so it struck a cord with me. But, as they went to Hogwarts, my sympathy actually shifted back and forth between the two brothers. Both had it bad, really. Sirius was constantly getting into large fights with his parents, and Regulus was still in Sirius shadow at Hogwarts and even getting cursed by him. Both of them really had it bad.
The end, though, really showed that Regulus was still a kid who looked up to his big brother even though he didn't want to. It felt so realistic that he reached out to help Sirius up after his fall in the kitchen, and that he even went so far as to try and use his own body as a shield so Sirius wouldn't get cursed. That's a brother for you. Excellent work with this chapter. Report Review
So far, I love it. Regulus is one of my favorite characters, so reading nearly anything with him in it is a pleasure. Also, I don't believe I saw a pairing listed, so I'm going out on a limb and saying that no romance is involved in this story? If that's so, then that's wonderful. I'm all for AU pairings, especially during this time period, but I never really cared for pairing Regulus up with someone. Since Regulus was so young when he joined Voldemort, I doubt he would have cared about developing a relationship.
Now, to the chapter, your writing was incredible. You described the scene around Regulus well, and spoke of his feelings perfectly. I was a bit suprised that Bellatrix showed up, but of course she would stick up for her cousin. And I also loved how Regulus wanted to scream once Voldemort branded him, but it was smart of him to hold that back. I don't think Voldemort would have taken well to that.
Awesome start, I shall definitely read on.
-Reyes91 Report Review
OH MY GOD. Well this story is totally awesome! It's written beautifully! Moving on to the next chapter...:)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it. : D
Hopefully you enjoy the next chapters as well.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Wow! Oh my gosh!
What an amazing chapter to come to. Hmmm Cassia is interesting. I'm not sure if I like her. Their situation is so interesting, but their relationship together is understandable, and I feel for them. Great job, sending the emotions across like that!
As always, you are brilliant with cliff hangars and intriguing lines for the ends of chapters!
Amazing! Come request again when you've updated! Please! I would love to read more.
10/10Author's Response: Whoa, nice praise right from the start! : D
Cassia is very interesting to write, which is odd because as you've probably been able to tell, she's definitely not the shiniest gem in the pirate's chest. I've sort of crafted her so that at surface value she appeals to Regulus very much, because she seems so different from the cousins he's been spending so much time with. But later on things may very well change, especially after Regulus starts his quest to bring down Voldemort. : )
Thank you! I've always thought that I don't do many cliffhangers in this story, so it's nice to hear that I leave things ending on a good note! Or at least an intriguing one. : )
I definitely will! Your reviews have been both helpful and incredibly sweet! : D I'm so glad you've liked my story so far.
A final huge thanks for dropping by and reading my story. I'll stop by your review thread and say the same! Report Review
Your compelling end to the chapter was moving. Regulus seems to be forced to accept his own person without really wanting to. It's devastating and so amazing at the same time. It's even more amazing with your writing.
Bella's character is coming along amazingly. That taunting personality of hers is brilliant.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. : ) This chapter took me forever to write, and it was difficult to boot, considering I've never exactly been skilled with scenes involving any sort of infliction of pain onto a person. So I'm happy to know that I seemed to have pulled it off. Regulus is so interesting to get into as a character - I've really come to love him while writing this story. He's starts out as this amazing source of bitterness and frustration, but the way he grows until the point of his death . . . it's truly incredible. It's amazing that more people don't write about him in the fanfiction world, and I hope I do it a little bit of justice. : )
And thanks for your input on Bella! She's a pretty tough character to get into, seeing as she's completely insane and all, but I've kinda grown to like doing it . . . ha, hopefully that doesn't make me crazy as well? I'm always worried about making her too merciful though. = / .
Thanks for another lovely review! Report Review
Awww. Wow, what a sad and depressing ending to the chapter. It's sad to see them speaking that way of Regulus, but I guess I can see why.
Another great chapter! As always, I hardly have CC for you. ;)
10/10Author's Response: Wow, you give me such great compliments! I don't feel like I deserve them.
But I'm so glad that you liked the chapter and that you found it . . . well, emotional I guess. : ) I tried my hardest to capture the coldness of the Black family in this chapter, so hopefully it came off as such.
Another huge, huge thanks for taking the time to review! Report Review
You are NOT wasting your time! You shouldn't think such a thing.
Again, this was a brilliant and captivating chapter. I guess, from the very beginning, I disliked Reg to a certain extent because he was a Death Eater, but in this story you have portrayed him in such an interesting light. I see it possible as to why Reg might become a Death Eater and I give him sympathy for it.
This is really developing into a superb story. Swell job! :D
9/10Author's Response: Ah, well when I first posted chapter four I had a very low number of reads/reviews, so I thought that maybe the story was a dud. But now I don't think I could stop writing it even if I did think nobody was interested - it's kind of become my baby. : )
Thanks so much! I'm glad that I'm developing Regulus in a way that makes you feel sympathy for him, even though he is a Death Eater. : D
Again, I really appreciate the review! And I'm extremely glad that you're warming up to the story! : ) Thanks for the compliments. Report Review
Geez, another wonderful chapter!
The first stand-alone sentence was amazing and enthralling.
The Dark Lord was rising.
So chilling! Excellent job yet again! I'm so impressed. The fast switches between thoughts occurred again, so just another reminder to slow it down. Take your time. ;)
Otherwise, top notch!
9/10Author's Response: This chapter was actually really hard to write. It was mostly a filler, so I completely understand what you mean when you say slow down; I was pretty anxious to move on with the story by that point, and the process of going back and explaining Regulus's past was sort of wearisome for me. : ) But I'm glad you enjoyed it nonetheless!
Thanks so much for the reviews and for the input! Like I've said in my previous responses, I really appreciate the feedback!
xx Fuzzy Report Review
Another simply brilliant chapter! I have the same praise as last time, and of course you should continue! But, of course, I see you have. ;) So that's awesome. I would be very sad if you abandoned this story.
Once again, I must say beautiful job. You really have a talent with descriptive writing, and how you have portrayed Sirius is amazing. I feel horrible for him! But it's so moving how well you have written his role in this story.
Excellent job! There were a few grammatical mistakes. I should have copied them into this box as I went along, but it slipped my mind, and now I don't remember where they are. I'm sorry! But it could do with a quick scan just to get rid of those minor mistakes.
9/10Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad that I got the characterization of Sirius correct, and that you found the chapter moving. : ) I have no plans to abandon the story, though I am experiencing a wicked case of writers block at the moment. = /. But it happens to everyone. : )
Hmm, well I'll try to go through once more and find out where they are. Since it's my story they often escape my notice, you know? Sometimes it takes me several read-overs to figure out I slipped up on something. : )
Anyway, thanks for the compliments and the review! I really appreciate it. : D
Hello my dear! I'm finally here with your review. And I'm so sorry that it took me quite some time to get around to this.
This was quite good. I was intrigued and compelled from the very beginning. The writing was beautiful and the description amazing. You captured the essence of the scene awesomely.
This simple bit here:
he would not disgrace the family name. Toujours pur. Always pure; always fearless, always proud.
was my favorite. It was so short and sweet, but to the point and so gripping and moving.
You said you were worried if it was boring, and I can tell you definitely not! It's not very often that you come across a good Regulus story! Fantastic job.
As the chapter progressed, things started to get spaced a little funny. Some sentences became hard to follow with the disruption of thought and new ones put in place. I would suggest not being so abrupt and giving the reader some time to realize that you've switched ideas. Sometimes I was a little confused and had to read it over again to make sure I read it right, but anyways!
You also mentioned my thoughts on characterization. Well, I can't give my full opinion on that I guess; simply because we never knew Regulus from JKR's point of creation, but by what you have here, I would say he is awesome!
Great job! Off to the next chapter.
You have a great story coming along here.
8/10Author's Response: Hello! I'm just grateful for a review, no matter how long it takes. : )
I'm glad that you enjoyed the writing and didn't find it boring. Thank you for your lovely compliments. : )
But I'm not quite certain what you mean by things getting spaced funny as the chapter progressed. I definitely value the input, and maybe you could PM me (or point out in another review) and tell me some things that you found odd? It'd help me correct them. : ) I wouldn't want things to be hard for the reader to follow.
I'm glad you like how I've crafted Regulus; hopefully you think that he stays in character as you continue to read. : D
Thanks so much for your review and your input! I really appreciate it.
xx Fuzzy Report Review
You have a wonderful, amazing gift for writing. I enjoy how you've set it up so cleverly to make it seem as though Sirius is the bad son, (maybe he was, but not in my opinion.) It's interesting to see how you've twisted and contorted him, made him so disobeying and even vindictive, that one actually has remorse for Regulus... for a Death Eater. You know, I cried at the end of the chapter. I didn't expect her to act out so horribly, so viciously, at an attempt to kill her own son. Their father only half-heartedly holding her back, and Regulus realizing what he had done and throwing himself before him. It was so powerful.
You have lots of lines I quite frankly adore: "...somebody who scorned those lesser mortals who had been stupid and common enough to not have been born a Black as well." That's a rather funny line as is "Oops, I've gone and dropped my quill, let me bend over and show you my bum while I pick it up strategically slowly as you stand directly behind me, Sirius."
I found the line "Regulus became the catalyst to the dangerous alchemical equation that was Sirius and his parents," to be very clever. I find this metaphor beyond perfect.
Now, there are two things grammatically that I'm uncertain about. First is when you use the genitive (possessive form) of a name that ends with "s", I'm pretty sure that you don't add an extra "s". I believe it should be simply "Regulus' " and not "Regulus's". As I don't come across this often, I may be wrong. The other problem is in Regulus' diction, (because it's in diction, and people often speak improperly, it's understandable); it's his strange use of the word "anymore". Anymore is part of a negation, to be used alongside the word not. "I do not go there anymore." But he uses it in an affirmative sentence saying "I'm the only one who gives us a good name, anymore." I find that usage really odd, and I had to stop for a moment.
In any case, your writing has shown no sign to cease to amaze me in the future, so, I add, never stop writing (or submitting this to me!)
-AxjionAuthor's Response: You flatter me! Thanks so much! I don't view Sirius as the bad child whatsoever, but for the story it was imperative that I make him seem like it, because it was from Regulus's view, so I'm glad I managed to convey it in that way. : ) I'm also glad that you found the ending powerful; I figured that Sirius sleeping with a Muggleborn girl would be the straw that broke the old hags back, ha. I mean, from what we know of her character . . . she seems like the type that would go nutso if she thought there was any chance of her firstborn (and heir) marrying/procreating with "dirty-blood". Orion I don't know much about, but I pegged him as this type of cold, uncaring type. By your praise I think I did alright with the characterization? : D
The 'alchemical equation' line went through A LOT of tweaking. First it wasn't in the chapter at all; then, while I was reading it over once, I added it in as 'chemical' equation. But then that didn't look right, because I was like, well . . . wizards don't really have /chemistry/. But they do have alchemy. I was actually a bit unsure if the line I crafted worked out or just sounded stupid or illiterate, but now I'm reassured! : D
It's interesting that you mention the Regulus's vs. Regulus', because it's something that I myself am very unsure about. I've seen it written the other way a lot, but I've seen it written my way as well. So, I looked up some grammar techniques, and from what I dug up on apostrophes (which are in no way my strong suit), I surmised that you use the s' form when speaking of plural possession (aka the Jones' house or the sisters' dresses). So that's why I chose to use it the way I did, even though technically, according to several sources, both forms can be appropriate. It's kind of fuzzy and unclear, because grammar laws change over time, so it seems this law is stuck right in the midst of one of those changes. : D But yeah, I had the same concerns. I think I'll leave it my way, halfway because it'd be extremely trying to go back and change every Regulus's. = / .
But thanks for pointing out the 'anymore' sentence; it's another one of those words that have gotten thrown in sentences where it doesn't belong; I've heard it used the way I've used it a LOT but I do agree it's not very correct. It's just kind of one of those things. Word of mouth and whatnot. : D
But thank you very much for pointing those things out! It's very helpful. And thanks again for reviewing! I'll re-request for the third chapter (boring, boring, boring in my opinion) in a bit. : D
This fic sent shivers down my spine. Your descriptions are phenomenal, and the mood is appropriately dark; I was drawn in and couldn't turn away. Then there was the characterization. Each character was so deliciously canon! (With the exception of one odd line by the Dark Lord himself "My friend Lucius..." I'm not sure if "friend" is in his vocabulary. I think that he would feel such a word, such an idea, would make him weak.)
There was this kind of metaphor you used that I found funny and very true of the relationship between Bellatrix and the Dark Lord. You say something about Regulus feeling that he had walked into something "intimate and secret." Anyone who read the books could tell how much she was in love with him.
Now, there was another strange phrase. "...and the silence was broken only a sudden knocking on the door..." I guess you're missing a word.
Your work shows, to me, such descriptive expertise (I especially love the description of the rug, and the golden unicorn hair on it) and true promise. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
-AxjionAuthor's Response: I'm so glad that you found the mood of the story shiver-worthy. : D That's exactly what I was going for!
The characterizations were probably the most difficult for me in this chapter; Voldemort especially is a challenge. I had him say 'friend' in a sort of falsely intimate tone of voice; we've known Voldemort to call Death Eaters his friends before, though he really doesn't consider them as friends at all, but servants. Anyway, that's my reasoning behind it. : D
I'm happy that you enjoyed the Bellatrix/Voldemort interaction. It comes up more later in the story so it's beneficial for me to get feedback on that. : ) I'm going to try and channel her slavish devotion as accurately as possible, which I'm sure won't be easy, what with how crazy she was portrayed in the books. But I'll do my best.
Thank you so much for pointing out that slip! I'll fix it at once. : D
And thank you for reviewing! Hopefully you enjoy the next chapter.
Thank you for the mention i feel so honoured :D
I think its really good to show a contrast between the two..makes it all the more interesting :)
I love how Regulus has a conscience and the death is torturing him..the description was really amazing and you captured the despair excellently.
Cant wait for more :)
Liza XAuthor's Response: Thank you! I've just realized that I have another reviewer with a very similar name to yours, Lisa . . . hmm, I'll have to make sure I don't forget her.
I'm glad you like the contrast between Cassia and Regulus; I was definitely trying to make that very blatant so I'm glad I pulled it off. : D
Thank you so much for your lovely compliments! Report Review
Wow! I love your style of writing - and, may i addm for someone not used to third person point of view you've done very well :)
i honestly think this is the best Regulus Black story i've read; excellent use of canon, you've filled in the gaps in a very logical and enthralling way and you're characterization is fantastic.
please, please, please update soon!Author's Response: Oh thank you, that's a huge compliment! I was worried, at first, that I would mess it up; but I think I've only slipped up at put 'I' or 'my' like, once. So go me. : )
Another amazing compliment! Thank you so much, I'm glad you found that I portray things realistically!
I will update soon! Thanks again for the review. : D Report Review
When Regulus mentions how his parents could finally have a son worthy to love, well, that was great. It showed he was still a child- a little boy, desperate for his parents' love and affection. It makes it seem as though he's really only joined Lord Voldemort to try and make his parents proud- especially since his brother turned out to be such a failure to them.
At the beginning, you had a lot of great description, and internal thinkings, but wow. It was long. It seems that there was nothing to break up the thoughts of Mister Regulus Black, which made it a bit difficult to concentrate on. I think if you just broke it up a little more it would flow a bit better.
The interaction between the Black family was fantastic! There was that distaste for Sirius, and Regulus' need for his parents' approval, and Mrs. Black's crazy, homicidalness. And the way Regulus just blurted out all those should-be secrets about Sirius to his parents! Whew, betraying his brother like that to try to get him out of the picture, well, that just shows the whole living-in-his-brother's-shadow-wanting-mommy-to-love-him thing he's got going on. Which is great- you've got Regulus' characterization down amazingly!
You expressed concern that your story might be boring, well, it isn't! There's a lot of drama already, even if it is only family drama! I don't quite see the plot yet, but it's only the second chapter, so I wasn't really expecting to. I enjoyed reading and reviewing!Author's Response: Hello to you as well. : D
You're completely right about the flow of the chapter. When I first posted it I did a quick once over of the chapter, and I couldn't believe how LONG my paragraphs were! I mean, I guess it just didn't seem that way when it was separated by pages in my Word Document? But I've gotten the same feedback from another user as well, and I fully intend to go and split the paragraphs up into easier-to-read sections. I'll also try to cancel out any over-flowery and unneeded information. : D
I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the interaction between the Blacks. Walburga was difficult to write; like Voldemort, she's just so different from any person or character I've read of/met/seen- it's hard to channel their spirit. But I'm glad that you thought I did it a bit of justice. : D It's reassuring. As are your comments about Regulus' characterization - I'm an only child, so I've never really felt that crazy competitiveness; I was admittedly unsure if I pulled it off.
The plot is definitely hidden in these first few chapters. Chapters two & three are all backstory, following Regulus through his early life to where we saw him in the first chapter. I think, once we get to chapter four, it picks up considerably, and the plot shows through. Well, I hope so anyway. It'd be sort of disheartening to find my story is plot-less, haha.
Thank you so much for reviewing! I'll stop by and tell you that on your forum page, as well. And if you're not averse to it, I'll re-request?
Well anyway, you're fantastic! Thanks again!
Hi. Chaotic here, from the forums!
Ooh, this is interesting. I adore the story already- which could, quite possibly, be because Regulus is my favorite character, but I did enjoy how you started this story out. Going from the beginning of his Death Eater days, eh?
At the very beginning, when they were all like, "You ready for your initiation?" I got this whole, secret society/fraternity vibe from it. Which isn't bad! I mean, the Dark Lord's circle kind of is a secret society- I just imagined this whole Skull & Bones Society thing going on there, haha.
Right, well, I found Voldemort a little bit nice. Merciful, I guess. And I realize that is very canon, but I don't see it often, and when I do, it doesn't seem to be done very well. You pulled it off, though and I deeply enjoyed his little mini speech about how he's a great, merciful Lord who doesn't forget those who are loyal to him.
This chapter was very full of description, and at times I felt it was a little heavy. For example, when he was describing the house. It seemed as though he scrutinized every little detail, and I think that may leave readers a bit dazed from trying to take in that much detail in such a short paragraph.
At the end, when Regulus is reveling at his brand spanking new dark mark, I really got the whole, super excited, kind of relieved feeling. The nervousness that was shown at the beginning of the chapter seems to be replaced with relief and a sense of well that was easy.
I did enjoy this chapter, and I wait to see what your going to do with this story!Author's Response: Hey, thanks for responding to my request!
I really love Regulus as well! Of course, seeing as though I decided to write him. : )
I debated whether or not to start from the very beginning or sometime after he had already joined; I figured, since I was trying to go for the whole 'character development, how he changes from beginning to end' thing, I had better start at the beginning. So yeah. : D
That's pretty much what I modeled it off of! Well, I was actually thinking along the lines of hardcore shave-your-head-bald, charles manson cult. But I'm glad it came off that way, because that's what I wanted to convey.
I was actually really worried about Voldemort. I have a really hard time writing him; he's just so EVIL. The problem is that I either do him too nice (merciful) or when I take a stab at writing him in his full slimy evilness, he seems hokey and less than intimidating. I'm glad that you (at least partially) bought my characterization of him; I think I'll have to practice for the scene I've got coming up, where he makes a much larger cameo.
I do tend to over-analyze things, don't I? The first three chapters especially are, I think, very long winded . . . the backstory thing kind of carried me away with it, so hopefully, if you're not bored to tears with the first three chapters of my story, you'll like to go on and delve right into the (hopefully) good stuff.
Thanks so much for reviewing! You, and many of the other reviewers from the forums, have given me so much to think about regarding the first few chapters. I think I might go back and revise them a teensy bit. : D
I really like this story. I'm just waiting for that confrontation with SiriusAuthor's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy! The confrontation with Sirius will be coming in maybe about . . . three chapters. It'll be in chapter ten or eleven, I think.
Thanks for reviewing. : ) Report Review
Great chapter. Can't wait to see what happensAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it. = D Report Review
I enjoyed the ending much better than I did the beginning. Again, there was too much description at the beginning, but I still liked it. Like paragraph 11, it was way too long, in my opinion. If it was broken up in smaller chunks with dialogue perhaps in between. Otherwise, I really enjoyed the ending. I loved seeing Sirius leave. His mother is a wench, but we already knew that. You did an amazing job with why he left, and why he would never return.Author's Response: Yeah, I noticed that. I finished the chapter and I was like, holy crap, that was LONG. Perhaps I'll go back and separate the paragraph you're speaking of into smaller sections - it'd probably be much easier to read.
I'm glad you liked my Sirius scenario though. I did my best with that - I figured that the fight would have to be really violent for him to finally have enough of it all, and that for it to be so violent, he would have had to do something to completely enrage his parents.
Thank you for the review and your comments! I'll go back and take a long, speculative look at the chapter and try to break up some parts. : D Report Review
At first I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew it was about Regulus and him becoming a death eater, but I wasn't sure how you were going to go about that. I enjoyed it, it is, at time so full of description I almost wished for some dialogue to break it up. Though, it was amazingly written and still held the readers attention - though it did wain at times. You've done an amazing job at writing for Regulus. I applaud you.Author's Response: Yeah, I feel that way about the first couple of chapters as well. . . they're a bit of backstory before you get into the action. Hopefully you keep reading and by chapter four you can really get into it. I probably should have went a little easy on the first couple of chapters to draw attention and interest, and spread out the descriptions more evenly throughout dialogue. Maybe you could point out a couple of points where you felt things got too slow, so that I could think about revising it? Any particulars are welcome. : )
I'm glad you liked how I write for Regulus. I find it uncommonly easy to get into his mind, or at least, his mind how I view it, so I'm glad I pull it off. Hopefully you enjoy how his character progresses, if you continue reading.
Thanks so much for the feedback, I really appreciate it! Report Review
Great idea for a story.
I don't think this is boring in the least, rather it is suspenseful. I found myself holding my breath several times while reading.
All of your characters are in character. Voldemort was chilling and I liked that.
Your representation of Regulus was interesting and I liked it. He's only 17 which this makes this a really different path to follow of a character that age. Instead of moving on to find a job and live a normal life Regulus has chose a path of evil.
Well written, thanks for writing.
*KristinaAuthor's Response: That's great! I was pretty worried that the first three chapters were nothing short of snooze-inducing.
The fact that Voldemort was in character, not to mention chilling, is fantastic. I have such a hard time getting into his character, and I thought maybe I'd made him too . . . un-Voldemort, you know? Pure slimy evilness has got to be the hardest to get right, or that's how I find it anyway. I'm going to be writing him in a chapter coming up very soon, too, so it's very helpful to know I kept him in character. Nobody else really commented on that before, so thanks!
Yeah, I figured Regulus would have spent so much time in the Slytherin common room, listening to the older boys glorify Voldemort, that he would have wanted to join right away, not exactly knowing what he got himself into.
Thank you so much for reviewing! It gave me a second opinion on the intro chapter and my representation of Voldemort, which I was really wondering about lately. So thanks again! Report Review
I loved it! Reg's development is amazing; just as i pictured him. I can't believe that Bellatrix would be ok with her cousin marrying a hufflepuff, though. idk-you have your reasons. Cassia is probably not cunning enough to be in slytherin. I mentioned Bellatrix, wow. You did an awsome job on her. Her suggesting that the two step in while Reg was in the shower was kinda sick - just like bella. Your description makes your writing sound more professional. I read a book a few months ago, and i hated it because it lacked just that. I am really interested in what 'The Sorce Much Higher Up' wants - assuming that it is voldemort. I know my review sounds like a list, but oh well, Bravo.Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I thought that Hufflepuff might have been a stretch, but I just could not picture the character that I'm developing in Slytherin. She just isn't clever or cunning enough. Also, I figure that as long as she stays true to her blood (which she has), then she'd be alright. Especially since Regulus is from a somewhat fallen family.
Thanks for the compliment on my description! I was actually worried that the chapter lacked it, but now I rest assured. : )
And no doubt Voldemort (yes, that's who it was) has all sorts of awful things up his sleeve.
Your review didn't sound like a list at all; I loved it! Thank you for leaving it! Report Review
Hey, it's my second review, sorry it took me a bit long...
- Regulus is fabulous. How he actually did everything just to earn his parents' love...just great. I'm really surprised that your story isn't more popular as I find it very initeresting – going into the mind of Regulus Black, one of the more intriguing characters from the whole series. His jealousy of Sirius is perfectly understandable, being a second child myself and almost constantly in the shadow of extremely successful older brother I can totally relate to Reg.
And the way you describe how he actually feels dirty... Just great. I think you succeeded in capturing his character.
Bellatrix...wow, you got into her head too! xD . I found that hard sometimes but she's totally in character and completely mad. x)
Cassia Rosier - I'm not so sure about her. I mean, she doesn't seem to fit Regulus all that much but it doesn't matter since I'm sure you have your reasons for making her the way she is (though at first I read Cissy and though what the...? lol ).
Now that these, more action filled, chapters are coming, I think you'll probably get more reviews/reads... ;D
~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: No, that's totally fine. You're taking your time to review and I'm incredibly grateful, no matter if you do it a week or a month apart! : )
I'm so glad you like the way I've crafted Regulus. I've had a couple reviews that say they like my character, but it wasn't how they exactly pictured him, so it's a relief to know you think he's more or less spot on. I've never written anything in third person, or through the eyes of a man, so you can imagine that I might be worried that I don't get it right. The relationship with Sirius is very important, so it's nice to know that I portrayed it rather realistically. I've never had a sibling myself, (thus the uncertainty of realistic interaction) but I have watched my fair share of cousins battle it out for who gets the most attention/respect from the 'rents.
Bellatrix IS a really hard character to get into! I'm totally crap at writing for Voldemort, so I was worried that she'd be impossible for me, or that I'd make her too . . . merciful, or something. It's definitely good to know I haven't made her make some kind of evilness faux pas. But I've got a lot more opportunities for that coming up . . . eee! Hopefully I get it right. *fingers crossed!*
I do have a good idea for what I'm going to do with Cassia. I've intentionally crafted her so that she's vacuous and sort of flat -- beauty and softness but not much else. I think it's exactly the sort of woman that Regulus would be drawn to at face value, after such horrifying escapades with his cousin, but would find, later on, that she's missing some rather essential traits.
And I can only hope that you're right, though it seems that my reads go down with every chapter! S'alright, so long as my current reviewers keep being their lovely selves and throwing feedback my way. : D
Thanks again for being so absolutely marvelous and taking your time to read/review. You're a really great reviewer! I've enjoyed hearing your feedback, and I hope my responses weren't lame. : / .
Anway, thanks again!
xx Fuzzy Report Review
Hello, I'm leaving my first review...
First of all - I adore Regulus and I'm quite surprised that I haven't read this before o.O .
I like the story but the first few chapters were a bit...ehh, not boring, but something that we could have found out during these action chapters. Though, I liked them too because we were given an insight into Regulus' mind and the reasons behind his joining to the Death Eaters.
Especially I loved how you described Sirius and how he affected Reg.
on to the next chapter in which I'll say a bit more about Reg and your overall characterisations...
~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: Yeah, I was worried about the first couple of chapters dragging, but I figured I had to get the backstory out of the way at some point. I'm glad you liked them, even if they were a bit longwinded and whatnot. But it is true that I could have incorporated it into the action chapters instead of lumping it all together. I'll keep that in mind.
Thank you for the insight, I really appreciate it! Looking forward to the next review and your comments!
The dream with sirius was really interesting. I think that Regulus's development, as a character, was really good, better than most i have read. I am so looking forward to the next chapter. Keep writingAuthor's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
It was meant to show that Regulus is still haunted by the night Sirius ran away, and the hand he had in it.
Thank you for the review. : ) Report Review
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