Reading Reviews for Some Little Mermaid
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermioneeeGrangerrr Some Little Mermaid

7th September 2013:
Awww. Great writing.

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Review #2, by xl Lily lx Some Little Mermaid

2nd September 2011:
Aww! So sweet! I love it!

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Review #3, by SunSation Gal 07 Some Little Mermaid

5th August 2011:
awww, this was so sweet! and trying to find something to review for the tag your in thread was not easy :P loved it Drue :)

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Review #4, by Crescent Moon  Some Little Mermaid

20th July 2011:
I love this one shot. It's so sweet. I've never seen a story like this before but I really enjoyed it. It's really well written XD

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. I've still considered writing the novel length prequel, but I currently can't decide. We will see what I feel like doing after The Seer.

Thank you for taking the time to go and read my other works! It really makes me happy.

Thank you! :)


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Review #5, by Dagmar Beck Some Little Mermaid

23rd November 2010:
I would enjoy a longer version of this story. It doesn't need to be a novel it could be a short story collection. A series of snap shot would be just as enjoyable.

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Review #6, by You Know Who Some Little Mermaid

25th December 2009:
aww, can you do a sequel? please?

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Review #7, by The Pheonix Quill Some Little Mermaid

8th September 2009:
You should definitely make this into a novel! I'd like to read about how they fell in love. Very well written! keep it up

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Review #8, by Laugharama_llama Some Little Mermaid

19th August 2009:
:( This was so bittersweet!! I don't have anything else to say for this other than absolutely beautiful.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much for the review! It means a lot to me.

-Drue


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Review #9, by onestop_hpfan18 Some Little Mermaid

3rd August 2009:
Hey, Leslie here to review as requested, and I'm so sorry it took me so long; my laptop crashed on me a couple weeks ago and I just got it back on Friday. Anyway, on with the review shall we :D

Characterization: I think you did a marvelous job with James II's characterization, and I can easily see James as being the one to stand up for someone who is getting picked on because I always pictured him as being caring and nice while at the same time still being a practical jokester. And I really liked the relationship between him and Lia that you created, it's nice to read something different for a change, especially when it's written as lovely as this.

Flow: I had no trouble at all following along with what was happening as it flowed seamlessly, and you stayed on topic, too. I don't think you strayed at all from the plot. It's well-written and intriguing with each sentence.

Overall, great job! I really did enjoy this one-shot, and make sure you stop by my review thread when you've posted the novel length fic that goes with this. 10/10

Author's Response: Awww! YAY! Leslie, thank you so much! You truly made my day. For some reason or other, this one-shot did worry me, and I'm not so sure why, but you really boosted my confidence with it.

Thank you sooo much! xD

-Drue


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Review #10, by celticbard Some Little Mermaid

22nd July 2009:
Hi Drue!
It's celticbard from TGS, here to review as requested. ^_^

First off, I love the originality of this piece. It's not every day one comes across an OC with a legitimate disability. Furthermore, you handle Lia quite perfectly. It's obvious that she wishes she could speak but she also seems ok with herself. Her confidence rings true, as does her complete understanding of James as a person...which brings me to my second point. ;) I thought the romance was wonderfully written. Really, you did an excellent job. James obviously loves Lia, but he is realistic about their relationship. And even though he adores her, he doesn't have her on a pedestal, which is quite refreshing to read.

Other than that, you seemed to have some problems with tense in this piece. The first half-the back story-is told in the past tense. Then, you switch to the present tense during the wedding scene, but jump back to the past tense after a few paragraphs. I think this story would work well using the past tense for the flash back and the present tense for the wedding. However, the past tense throughout works just as well. ;)

I really liked this piece, Drue. It was so nice to read something uplifting and sweet for a change. As always, feel free to drop by my queue and request another review. I hope you have a great week! Take care!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Ack thanks so much, dear!

Yes, I did struggle with the tenses. I would be writing and then think "oh wait, is that right?" Now I know that I should definitely go over it.

Thanks so much again! I'm really glad you enjoyed it and I hope you will give the novel your opinion too when it comes out! xD

-Drue


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Review #11, by TwilightPrincess Some Little Mermaid

21st July 2009:
I love this. I do.

Before I start gushing, I'm going to try and control myself. Please bear with me. I have a lot of things to say, both on the critical side and on the positive one. I'm going to go in chronological order.

When I met Lia Corner, she was an amusing toy to everyone. Brilliant line. It's a simple sentence, which I think is very effective to use as an opening line, and I also adore the use of the word 'toy' here. It's an interesting choice of words and I am intrigued - I want to read on to figure out why you called her a toy. Great job.

Actually, she was always on her own, never in the company of anyone else. I could have done without the second clause in this sentence, because it was incredibly redundant. While it's a nicely worded clause, it didn't have its place here because you already stated rather plainly that she 'was always on her own' and you didn't need anything else. I also think the second clause was written in a much more formal tone that would be seen in third-person writing, and I didn't feel like it flowed.

Mistake: Don't worry - I wasn't ever one of those who conceited kids who jinxed kids in the hallways for fun. Omit the first 'who' but I'm sure you knew that already =)

tiny 'ole Flitwick The use of this apostrophe baffles me. What letter are you missing that you're holding the place with the apostrophe? Hole? XD If you're using the word 'old' the proper place for the apostrophe is after the l. tiny ol' Flitwick because you are not acknowledging the d.

Al tried to dye his red hair black because he was paranoid about not being a real Potter man. I really like that you inserted this into the story at the bit where James was talking about his hair. First of all, it was very smoothly done and I'm impressed that you could add this little tidbit without it feeling choppy and random. Also, it shows a lot about Albus's character. While he's not really the main character, it adds a lot of depth and reality to the story. Great job.

happiness in her that makes my heart acellerate Accelerate.

I rock her back and forth as her shoulders heave with her absent sobs. For some reason, the word 'absent' here gave me chills. That is the perfect word. I understand how difficult it can be to express everything you want to into one word, and I applaud you for your efforts. This is a heart-wrenching line because you found the right word.

I'm sorry to say the ending was lost on me the first time I read it because of this line: Because she knows why her. At first, I thought she meant 'Why do I have this disability?' and only on the fourth time of reading that line did I understand she meant 'Why did you choose me?' It's not your fault. It's mine.

I am very impressed with the fact that you covered so much time. You went from the first time they saw each other to the moment of their wedding in a little one-shot, and it didn't feel rushed or anything. You said just enough to keep me interested and knowing what's going on. Great job. Also, about James's character... I felt that you were very true to him. He felt very honest and that is key in a first-person piece. Little things like when he imagined what his wife would be like and he didn't imagine her to be mute... that was brilliant. It showed that yes, he had thought about his perfect image and for a few seconds he wasn't sure if Lia was who he wanted. Brilliant.

It's interesting that you had me read this because I have watched a Japanese drama where the girl is deaf and they have to communicate in sign language. It was actually my favorite drama I've watched to date (and I've seen a fair few, believe me.) This piece made me feel the same emotions I felt during that twelve-episode drama. That is truly remarkable.

You are a gifted writer. I urge you to pursue your ability in original fiction.

Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Ack! Ilia, thank you so much for pointing out my mistakes! Geez, how could I miss those! xD

I will go back and fix them right away!

Thank you for the lovely, long review! It was so nice to see and this was the exact kind of CC I was looking for. Thank you so much! And i hope to see you back for the novel. :D

You're like my hero, dear. You are. You give me so much inspiration, and I'm truly honored that you support me in my career. I support yours as well. I know you'll be some kind of famous some day.

ILY!

xx.
Drue


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Review #12, by collette michelle Some Little Mermaid

14th July 2009:
Oh, Drue! You are so amazing. I loved this, I really did. It was beautifully written. You can really tell that James has such a deep love for Lai. And Lai, she seems so sweet. I found my self signing (albeit, horrible and slow) along with some of the parts.

I really hope you do expand on this, I for one would read it. And that's good enough reason if you ask me! ;] Ha, only joking, love. But, I would read it. You have left me very curious to learn more about this adorable pairing. Please do write more, please! (And if you do, let me know when it is up. I am horrible a remembering to check for these things...)

xx.
Collette

Author's Response: Collette! Eep, thank you! You wouldn't believe how thrilled I was to see your review!

It really made me so happy. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I hope you will like the novel too. xD

-Drue


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Review #13, by Tinkerbell01 Some Little Mermaid

13th July 2009:
Hey Drue! OMGosh! This is amazing! Your descriptions on how James feels for Lia are amazing. You don't find many people out there that would marry a mute person, but James does feel like he'd be that type of person.

Now, not to get you all worked up, but I'd be careful with writing this novel. There is another story similar to the one you might have planned out already. I think at some point you told me you might have read her story, I'm not sure. But the girl in her story was born at the age of 11 or something, so yours might be very different.

I don't think I saw any mistakes at all dear! James' characterization is spot on from what I can tell! He seems like the kinda guy I'd wanna hang out with! ^_^ Flow is perfect. You don't stray off topic and you keep the readers attention!

Wonderfully done dear! -huggles-

Can't wait for the novel!

*favorites*

ILY Drueee!

Author's Response: Alicia! THANKS! Hehe, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for the ever so sweet review!

ILY!

xx.
Drue


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Review #14, by green angel Some Little Mermaid

13th July 2009:
i love it!
please hurry with the novel i would love to read it!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I am! I'm working on is as we speak. You can expect it sometime around the beginning of August. :D

-Drue


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Review #15, by Canary in the Mine Some Little Mermaid

13th July 2009:
Okay, I love this so much, that you BETTER make this into a novel. My eyes are tearing for some reason. I think that while this was somewhat fluffy, I think that this has that sort of feel like 'The Wedding' by Nicholas Sparks. It was sweet and I adore the narration. James is just amazing. Your characterization of him was wonderful to read. I loved how it was in his point of view and all, learning to see what he sees, the way he sees it. I loved Lia. She had a small part, but her name is enough. My family calls me Lia all the time, so reading her as a character is just wonderful.

I loved what you did here. The challenge was supposed to be silent, and you just totally did it in an amazing way. Lia was a mute. I would have never thought of it like that, you know. This was creative and special. I loved the feel of this, while I was reading. It was almost light and happy and then, in the end, there's this sort of deep romance and emotion that just makes me want to cry. But I've always been a softie.

I loved how simple it seemed, James' narration. It was as if he were explaining his life to someone, but in a different way I suppose. I loved the scene with James and his father, Harry. It made me smile and all.

Overall, this was a wonderful peice. The emotion, plot, flow, and characterization was just amazing and mind-blowing. I'd love to see you turn this into a novel. To actually go into depth of the entire relationship and all that. It'd be just an amazing companion to this one-shot (:

10/10

Author's Response: Malia! Oh my gosh, thank you! Thank you, thank you! I really needed this CC, and this made me feel so much more confident about this story.

Malia, thanks! Wow you really deserved Featured Reviewer at TGS! Look at how much you helped me!

Eep, ILY, dear! Thank you again! Thanks a million!

xx.
Drue


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Review #16, by harrypotterhugefanforever Some Little Mermaid

13th July 2009:
Oh Drue, you made me cry.

Poor Lia and poor James. It was so sweet and I could see it happening.

10/10

Author's Response: Amy! Thanks! You're such an amazing fan. You're always here for me and my stories.

Thank you!

-Drue


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