Reading Reviews for The Untold Story
2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by St. Brigid. In the Beginning. . .

4th April 2015:
I like the way you describe Hermione as a primary school child. It's clear she has a maturity and understanding well beyond her years and that this means she struggles to fit in with other children, who probably don't even know what the word "physics" means.

I do think though that a lot of girls are uninterested in stereotypically girlish things, particularly when they were under about 10 when racing against the boys is so much more fun than fancying them.

I, of course, can empathise with young women who aim for success, as I established an important religious house in Kildare and I and my successors outranked the abbot of the male house. Some people from other lands seemed to find this odd for some reason.

When he introduces himself as "Professor Flitwick", "Professor" should have a capital "p", as he's using it as a title.

When you write '"Oh," said her father,' there should be a comma after the "oh," and "said" should start with a small "s", because it's all one sentence.

I'm not at all surprised Hermione's reaction to Flitwick's arrival is to laugh. She doesn't appear the type of person to believe something without evidence, especially since you have shown her as being interested in science. Her reaction fits well with her personality and it makes sense that a girl who is into science would think there was a logical explanation to anything considered magic.

I wonder how he will convince her to go to Hogwarts. Considering she has wanted to be a physicist for a third of her life, I doubt she'll be too anxious to give up her ambitions and going to Hogwarts would mean she'd have to do that. Plus, it would mean she'd no longer get to study her favourite subject.

You've written that the street "was clear and quite". I presume it should be "clear and quiet".

The part about how she will study harder than she ever has before in her life when she starts Hogwarts helps to give some background to her behaviour in the books.

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Review #2, by Chey In the Beginning. . .

30th March 2010:
i've been looking for a good hermione story like this for a while: i'd never imagined what it would be like for her in the beginning, before hogwarts. keep at this story, it sounds really interesting!

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