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9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellaLestrange87 I wont be held responsible

14th February 2015:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I love the italicized intro you've given us at the start. You've given me just enough information to know the background of the story and I want to know more. Now I'm curious about how exactly Rose and Scorpius, whose relationship appears to be really strong, drift apart, and I can't help but wonder if this unnamed narrator - who seems to be friends with Rose - has a part in it.

So Rose is pregnant. That would definitely be a major event that could push them apart (especially if Scorpius doesn't want the child, as it appears to be, judging by his reaction). Or maybe she loses it and that drives them away from each other? I'm just guessing here; I really want to know more. And especially at college too - having to care for a child and keep on top of coursework at the same time, while maintaining a romantic relationship, would cause huge amounts of stress that neither of them probably want to handle.

I like how you threw the announcement right out there and made it the start of the present section. We really get a sense of how jarring this news is to the couple, and the fact that Rose is sobbing and Scorpius is stunned emphasizes that. Good job! And now I'm beginning to think that their relationship ending is because of the pregnancy. Rose knows that she can't keep it, while Scorpius just wants to sleep on the news and procrastinate on having to make a decision.

I really liked the insight into their personalities you gave us. It really let me get to know Rose and Scorpius (since there are so many different interpretations of them it's not like there's a set portrayal) better than I would've by trying to gauge personalities by reading them when they're upset and shocked, respectively.

Their arguments are really realistic. Whether or not to become a parent isn't exactly a light decision to make and having it thrust suddenly upon them must be really jarring, as you're (very effectively) showing us. They're still in shock and not processing it well - Scorpius can't talk to Rose without accidentally starting an argument, and Rose knows that she wants this baby but won't be able to live up to her dreams if she keeps it.

That was very shocking. I definitely wasn't expecting Rose to lose the baby so soon, although their arguments definitely aren't over. It seems that Scorpius is suffering from a very nasty case of foot-in-mouth disease and should probably stop talking. And yes, after being effectively broken up with by the woman he thought he was going to marry, his feeling that his life is over is probably an accurate one. (Hopelessly single for the win - I've never had a boyfriend to break up with me! (Is that good or bad?))

I found one typo

he be able to finish college, how would they be able to support themselves, what would their parent say? - what would their parents say

I love the nature of this story - how you start out with them as a happy couple and portray the disintegration of their relationship, rather than pushing them together like many fics.

~Olivia

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Review #2, by Cassy For the life of me

10th October 2011:
That was amazing as is everything else youve posted on here.
I love your writing style and the choice of song. It fit so perfectly.

I can relate to your story in more ways than one and you captured there emotions so perfectly!

Although it was depressing for everyone in the story; not everyone gets a happy ending.
I'm so glad you didn't just end with a happy ending.

I love this story.

Author's Response: Wow, I've hardly had any reviews for this story so it really made me happy to see it sitting there. I'm glad you liked it. It dealt with such strong emotions and it was a totally different genre to what I usually write. There is just so much anger and sadness, it can be quite challenging to channel those emotions at times. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave me a review.

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Review #3, by justonemorefic I wont be held responsible

5th February 2011:
Hi from the review tag! :)

Ah, you don't get a lot of fics trying to handle pregnancy seriously around these parts or a couple fighting like this. You're not afraid to go to uncomfortable situations or ends and that's always admirable. I think it's very easy to not like Rose or Scorpius for fighting like this, but I sympathize with them.

Your writing also has a nice flow to it, which is especially hard to do when people are arguing like that (I've tried!) so props to you. And I can see the scenes in my head as you describe them.

Some of the dialogue is a bit stiff though, like when they are trying to justify themselves. In an argument, things get heated and more fragmented. That helps bring out the emotion :)

Nice job!

Author's Response: I really surprised myself when I wrote this one...it's so different to everything else I've done and was a challenge. I really tried my hardest to bring out the emotion of each of them, and i remember crying as I channeled that emotion onto paper.

I will look over the dialogue again and see if i can make it smoother. Thanks for the tip and thanks for reviewing this one for me. I know that it is not the happiest of stories.


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Review #4, by Sabrina For the life of me

1st September 2009:
Wow. This was awesome and depressing at the same time. Poor Rose, poor Scorpius!
Love the song choice by the way.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I know that is is a depressing story...and the funny thing is I wasn't even sad when I wrote it, I just heard the song one day and the story came to me.

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Review #5, by Nick For the life of me

12th August 2009:
What a story princess !
I thought that Scorpius was going to take the jump !
It must be hard to write a story with a sad ending, i hope that everyone else who reads your work can appreciate it as much as I do.
In real like people dont always get a storybook ending :(

Author's Response: I wouldn't let Scorpius take the jump...while things were tough, he still felt like he had a life to live.

Writing sad endings are hard, but at the same time, you know as you write where the story is heading so you are prepared for it.

Thanks for reviewing.


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Review #6, by Nick Guilt Stricken

5th August 2009:
Oh dear poor Scorpius ! it wasnt his fault that he keeps his emotions on the inside :s Whats he going to do now?
I guess Ill wait and see -
Thanks for the read princess

Author's Response: Yeah, Scorpius just can't seem to get anything right. But in his defense, it is a lot to deal with.

There's one more chapter to go, so you wont have long to wait for the conclusion.


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Review #7, by BluEyedAngel Guilt Stricken

1st August 2009:
Gah! I thought you were never going to tell us who the "stranger" was that came to support Scorpius. But, now we know and I feel much better. :)

Again, another great emotionally powerful chapter. I'm very interested to see how you complete the story! Thanks for a good read.

Author's Response: I'm glad you now feel better that I revealed who the 'stranger' was. I wouldn't want to leave you in the dark.

Thanks again for the review. It means a lot.



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Review #8, by Nick I wont be held responsible

26th July 2009:
Wow I have not seen a story begin with so much emotion. You have a unique style Princess, passionate about your work. I enjoy reading your stories as always :)

Author's Response: Thank you. This is a very emotional story. It is very different to my last one. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #9, by BluEyedAngel I wont be held responsible

23rd July 2009:
Bummer! Sad, heartbreaking - but appropriate. Originally I thought the emotional reactions from Rose were unrealistic, but as I thought about it I realized they are pretty accurate. She's 18, full of hormones, and already a "flighty" sort of person, so it fits. Poor Scorpius can't do anything right! He can't help it that he doesn't "feel" for the baby, but Rose is so bound up in her own perspective that she won't see from his angle.

This chapter is complete, so complete that I thought this was a one-shot. Glad to see that you've got 2 more chapters coming! Thanks for a good read!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review...first one for this story...YAY

Rose's situation is a hard one to imagine...I've never been in that situation myself. Basically though, she just fell apart...her world had spun completely out of control in such a short time.

I guess the chapter does seem pretty complete. I had never thought that it could seem like a one shot before but I guess that is because I always knew where it was going. The story does continue though and the next chapter is in validation now.

Once again...thanks for the review, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.


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