Reading Reviews for Freshmen
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by oldershouldknowbetter Guilt Stricken

4th November 2015:
It is with some trepidation (read, a lot), that I venture forth into this harrowing tale once more, but gird my loins I shall and take the plunge.

Firstly, on that other note, about the previous review of your work - that is exactly the reason that I thought I might have offended you; when the review above and below mine had responses, I thought that what I said might have caused offence. You could have just missed it, but the two main reasons were: one, that it was a long review and required a measured response; or two, that you were upset at the review and didn't know how to respond. I am very relieved it wasn't the latter and pleased that my intent did come across despite my possibly poor choice of words. You really got what I meant, that there is such a large variety of possibilities for Rose and Scorpius and, even though the mean of the bell curve is skewed towards happily-ever-after, it means that there has to be some tales on the bleeding end of that bell curve. That previous one-shot was farther along the curve than this one, but that doesn't mean that this tale is any less harrowing.

*sigh* I have prevaricated long enough, I guess that I should proceed into the actual review. Actually, as an aside, it has been making me smile, this peculiar dialogue that we have been having in these reviews and responses.

*argh* *slaps face* must. stop. avoiding. the. review.

*takes a tentative peek*

Our mysterious narrator is back, doing her/his usually sterling job. It is a good device, this 'other' looking in, it really allows the reader's own entry way into the story. The narrator has been patient, doing his/her best to comfort the various parties, but has been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Scorpius finally takes the necessary step and tells her/him, a person who is obviously close to both of them. The news is both shocking and awful. I do like - again with the like, I don't like it, but I do appreciate/respect it - the fact that you have Scorpius blaming himself, but in his concious mind he knows it was an accident. You really do show it well, the mixed emotions that must be swirling around in his mind. He needs a break, not from Rose, but from his un-born child that is not to be. It's very heartbreaking, but it does show that in only the week or so it's been, he did overcome the initial shock of it all and did come around to the wondrous fact that he was going to be a father. His imaginings of what the child would be, is the emotionally heart-rending icing on the cake.

After the revelation of the true reason of the pair's misery, the narrator comforts Scorpius the best she/he can and tells us that he/she allows Scorpius to leave and that the decision is one that will haunt her/him till the day he/she dies. Oh blast.

Scorpius has a few days away and does centre himself somewhat. He tells his father, who had not been supportive of his relationship with Rose before, but he is supportive now. I don't know, is there something sus about this? I'll just have to see, maybe Draco was on board, maybe it is all what it appears to be? This story has me seeing the worst everywhere and in everything.

I am dreading Scorpius's return, not the least because of the warning of the narrator, but my mind has filled his return with horrors beyond imagining. He get's to Rose's, he opens the door to be confronted ... with her lifeless body. I don't know how you can do this to me, how can I find it almost a relief that she is dead, probably at her own hands. I imagined so much protracted anguish and horror to come between the couple, that, yes it's how I feel, it is almost a relief to find her dead.

Scorpius is distraught, naturally, and discovers evidence that it was as a result of self harm. Scorpius falls apart, any hope, any desire, he had of having time heal their wounds has been ripped from him. The narrator is there comforting Scorpius and revealing to us that he had been a constant presence by the side of Rose, trying to offer any comfort to her he could. Actually not a constant presence, for a little while he did leave her side, for a few precious hours he wasn't there and they were crucial ones. It will haunt him forever.

I can use the masculine pronoun now, because the comforting stranger, that till now faceless narrator, is finally revealed to be Albus. They each berate themselves over their faults in allowing this to happen. Scorpius finally gets to a place where he says he will not blame himself and for a horrible moment I think that he is going to transfer those feelings onto Albus and destroy the one avenue for comfort and solace that he has. But I breathe a sigh of relief, the two boys will be in it together. Though, the future does appear bleak as far as Scorpius is concerned and now the true horror of Rose's passing falls upon me too. Those 'happier' feelings that I had earlier that she was 'just' dead have now dissipated and I'm just feeling sad.

They were all just too young to handle it all. There were a few bad decisions made, yes, but all would have come good in time. Curse you Ravenclawprincess, curse you - you didn't give them enough time.

I sigh a breath of relief, the pain is finally over, but then I remember that there is one chapter to go; what fresh horrors await your poor readers there I must ask myself.

Author's Response: I must say, I have also come to joy this little interchange within our reviews. I always read through with much amusement at your trepidation as you enter my work, not knowing quite what fate awaits poor Rose and Scorpius. I find it interesting that you found my last tale more harrowing that this. I guess it's because of the short word count and the ambiguous nature of the writing; you didn't quite know what was happening until the very end.

I went back and read this story again after the last review as it's been a while (and I noted a number of typo's.the problem of editing your own story, it's so easy to miss things when you've read it a zillion times).

I do like the use of the narrator voice, it gives an outside perspective of everything without the emotional turmoil which is going through the protagonists head.

Scorpius is a kaleidoscope of emotions. He does blame himself for what happened to Rose and their unborn child, yet he also knows it was an accident. He needs time to think also, to heal his own heart and to say goodbye to an almost future.

But poor Rose couldn't. She wanted to be with her unborn child, leaving Scorpius and Albus to pick up the pieces of their lives. Again, Scorpius, and to an extent Albus as well, begin to appoint the blame to themselves, but know that they are not responsible in any way for the tragic turn of events (it's my fault, I could I do this to them). But even with this knowledge, it doesn't make her passing any easier to bare.

They didn't have enough time together, you're completely right. I do deserve every curse you through at me for tearing the apart in such an awful way. Their love is so pure and given time, they would have been able to move past this and heal the wounds.

There is one more chapter to go. I don't think you'll find it as heart wrenching as the first two, but I'll let you decide.


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Review #2, by oldershouldknowbetter I wont be held responsible

31st October 2015:
Hi there, here for a bit of BvB action.

Well, it is with some trepidation that I venture forth into this story. I love Rose/Scorpius and based upon past experience you have done some nasty things to them. I am definitely not ignoring the angst warning on the label this time, and when I venture in, the first thing I see is a label warning me that it will not be a happy story. I let out a heaving sigh and will just have to gird my loins.

Just on one note, I do have to not only explain myself but apologise for my intemperate remarks in my last review to you. I feel that the irreverent and tongue-in-cheek nature of how I meant, 'Of course, otherwise I hated everything in it', may not have come across properly. How could it have not, on the surface the words are nasty and re-reading them I cannot feel shame. I did not mean to cause any upset or hurt to you. What I meant was that I was not happy with how you treated some of my favourite characters ever, how could I be? But that was your intent, it was wonderfully done and an amazing story. It was also a brilliant bit of writing to fit all of that harrowing tale into the few characters you had at your disposal. So please forgive me any disquiet that I may have caused you, I did not mean for it to be so.

Anyway, I have to start on this tale and I believe that I am in for another hard time.

You start it off so wonderfully though, the secret romance hidden throughout their schooling. Told by an outsider to the main protagonists is a good device - I wonder if the story is going to be framed by these comments of an outsider looking in? I've read on and you do use it as a framing device and it is well done.

So pregnancy rears it's head, moreover an unplanned for/unwanted pregnancy; ever that despoiler of young people's dreams and plans. Scorpius is not happy at the unexpected turn of events, but in a style of someone who is truly in love, he tries to calm his partner and deal with things logically and rationally.

Scorpius says, or alludes to at least, what the males nearly always do in this situation. He is correct in that it is her body and her decision and her future that will be most affected by it, but it is not what any woman wants to hear in that situation. Rose is going through too much inner turmoil, also probably trying to avoid thinking about those very ideas herself too. She wants to be alone, but Scorpius to his credit stays with her and comforta her. No matter what happens to them, it is obvious with this exchange, that whatever else, they did start from a place of loving and caring.

For the horrible things you do to them, you really have such a strong grip upon the characters of the two. All that exposition you have Scorpius thinking is great - it mixes in descriptions of appearance and character and doesn't feel too much or too heavy or like an 'info dump' at all.

A little time passes, with the two of them obviously trying to put the best face upon the circumstance. Then Rose comes to talk to Scorpius and tell him of the plans that she has unwillingly been forced to make. She places him in an impossible situation - damned if he agrees with her, damned if he doesn't. We are far more privy to his thoughts than Rose's, just by the nature of how you have written the story, and he answers the best he can. But even though we are not as intimately connected to Rose's, we know exactly how she must be feeling - hoping beyond hope that he will have some way, any way that will not dash her desired future into broken shards.

Words are said, well actually a lot are not, words are assumed and not denied. Scorpius hurries after her to try and be heard, be understood and keep Rose by his side where he wants her to be and knows that if he does everything will turn out for the best in the end. But ...

A pregnant woman at the head of a flight of stairs is never a good sign, especially if she is distracted and caught up in emotions.

The inevitable happens and Scorpius rushes to her prone body. Your readers must be holding their breaths, as he does, waiting for the sign that she is still alive. We are all truly relieved when we find out that she still breathes, but we know it will only be short lived - what further damage has the fall wrought?

After much anguish on Scorpius's part, he is eventually restored to the company of a battered, but whole Rose in a touching and beautiful scene. When the two have no emotional burden between them, their love shines through. But the fact is that she is not whole, she has lost the baby and when that fact is raised things begin to fall apart again. I want to shout at my computer screen, 'wait Rose, be calm, hear him out, let him explain.' But they are both too young to have to be given such emotional burdens that they have had to shoulder for what has only been a few weeks. Had they been allowed to digest it all, to come to terms with everything it all would have been OK, but they both go from suddenly having, to suddenly lost so fast that they are buffeted in the wake.

Things are said that are hard to unsay. Scorpius flees Rose's wrath, and like him we do not know if it was the right thing to do or not. He should have stayed, like he did earlier in the chapter once he found out she was pregnant, but would forcing his presence on Rose who clearly didn't want it have done more harm than good? We will never know because he did run (feeling like a coward).

He bemoans his fate, how could this happen to them. I know why, it's Ravenclawprincess, that's who. Who for some reason just doesn't want to allow you two to ever be happy. ;)

The emotions that you put us through, the emotions. I said before, that what you are doing is exploring the emotional bell-curve of Scorose - for every happy ending there has to be something like this to balance it all out. It is well done.

Only one tentative little cc, if I may. I believe that by 'full hardy' you meant foolhardy.

Author's Response: Tread lightly with this one, that's for sure. It's a bit of a heart breaker. I actually really love Rose and Scorpius and think they are made for each other. There are so many possibilities and unfortunately that also means some not so happy ever afters. In some ways it's also a challenge my writing skills to confront these really emotional situations and try to make them realistic. I don't mean to pick on Rose and Scorp...honest :) I have written a really nice fluffy piece about them too...its Watching me, watching you.

You don't have to apologise for your last review because I totally understood what you meant and took no offense by it (and I'm sorry in return if my reply made you feel like you had upset me). In some ways I was honoured to receive such a heartfelt reaction as it means I did my job as a writer :)

Thank you for such a comprehensive review. I think this is possibly the longest one I've ever received. This story sure is an emotional roller coaster. So much happens in only a few weeks and neither of them have the emotional maturity yet to deal with the maelstrom of emotions that besiege them. Rose is an emotional wreck, and Scorpius is trying to stay calm for both of them which only seems to rile Rose up more.

It was a challenging piece to write, to delve into these deep and somber emotions and also to write it all from a guys perspective. Believe me, I did have tears in my eyes as I wrote this story, and I still get a little teary when I read it back. I do hope you're brave enough to read to the end, but I understand if your heart just can't handle it.

Thanks for such a marvelous review. It's totally made my night and I'm sure my creative eye is now going to be searching for fluffy Scorpius and Rose plot bunnies now just to show that I don't have it in for them :)


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Review #3, by BellaLestrange87 I wont be held responsible

14th February 2015:
This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I love the italicized intro you've given us at the start. You've given me just enough information to know the background of the story and I want to know more. Now I'm curious about how exactly Rose and Scorpius, whose relationship appears to be really strong, drift apart, and I can't help but wonder if this unnamed narrator - who seems to be friends with Rose - has a part in it.

So Rose is pregnant. That would definitely be a major event that could push them apart (especially if Scorpius doesn't want the child, as it appears to be, judging by his reaction). Or maybe she loses it and that drives them away from each other? I'm just guessing here; I really want to know more. And especially at college too - having to care for a child and keep on top of coursework at the same time, while maintaining a romantic relationship, would cause huge amounts of stress that neither of them probably want to handle.

I like how you threw the announcement right out there and made it the start of the present section. We really get a sense of how jarring this news is to the couple, and the fact that Rose is sobbing and Scorpius is stunned emphasizes that. Good job! And now I'm beginning to think that their relationship ending is because of the pregnancy. Rose knows that she can't keep it, while Scorpius just wants to sleep on the news and procrastinate on having to make a decision.

I really liked the insight into their personalities you gave us. It really let me get to know Rose and Scorpius (since there are so many different interpretations of them it's not like there's a set portrayal) better than I would've by trying to gauge personalities by reading them when they're upset and shocked, respectively.

Their arguments are really realistic. Whether or not to become a parent isn't exactly a light decision to make and having it thrust suddenly upon them must be really jarring, as you're (very effectively) showing us. They're still in shock and not processing it well - Scorpius can't talk to Rose without accidentally starting an argument, and Rose knows that she wants this baby but won't be able to live up to her dreams if she keeps it.

That was very shocking. I definitely wasn't expecting Rose to lose the baby so soon, although their arguments definitely aren't over. It seems that Scorpius is suffering from a very nasty case of foot-in-mouth disease and should probably stop talking. And yes, after being effectively broken up with by the woman he thought he was going to marry, his feeling that his life is over is probably an accurate one. (Hopelessly single for the win - I've never had a boyfriend to break up with me! (Is that good or bad?))

I found one typo

he be able to finish college, how would they be able to support themselves, what would their parent say? - what would their parents say

I love the nature of this story - how you start out with them as a happy couple and portray the disintegration of their relationship, rather than pushing them together like many fics.


Author's Response: Hi Olivia. I'm really sorry it has taken me so long to reply to this review (hides shamefully in a corner.)

This is a really emotional tale. So much happens to Rose and Scorpius in such a short space of time and neither of them have the emotional intelligence yet to work through it. When things are going well, relationships are easy, but when life changing events like this happen, it really brings out peoples fears and make them react very emotionally. It becomes harder to logically work through things together, and unfortunately for Rose and Scorpius, everything is a bit too much and starts a downwards spiral.

Thanks for the review. I really appreciate it


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Review #4, by Cassy For the life of me

10th October 2011:
That was amazing as is everything else youve posted on here.
I love your writing style and the choice of song. It fit so perfectly.

I can relate to your story in more ways than one and you captured there emotions so perfectly!

Although it was depressing for everyone in the story; not everyone gets a happy ending.
I'm so glad you didn't just end with a happy ending.

I love this story.

Author's Response: Wow, I've hardly had any reviews for this story so it really made me happy to see it sitting there. I'm glad you liked it. It dealt with such strong emotions and it was a totally different genre to what I usually write. There is just so much anger and sadness, it can be quite challenging to channel those emotions at times. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave me a review.

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Review #5, by justonemorefic I wont be held responsible

5th February 2011:
Hi from the review tag! :)

Ah, you don't get a lot of fics trying to handle pregnancy seriously around these parts or a couple fighting like this. You're not afraid to go to uncomfortable situations or ends and that's always admirable. I think it's very easy to not like Rose or Scorpius for fighting like this, but I sympathize with them.

Your writing also has a nice flow to it, which is especially hard to do when people are arguing like that (I've tried!) so props to you. And I can see the scenes in my head as you describe them.

Some of the dialogue is a bit stiff though, like when they are trying to justify themselves. In an argument, things get heated and more fragmented. That helps bring out the emotion :)

Nice job!

Author's Response: I really surprised myself when I wrote this's so different to everything else I've done and was a challenge. I really tried my hardest to bring out the emotion of each of them, and i remember crying as I channeled that emotion onto paper.

I will look over the dialogue again and see if i can make it smoother. Thanks for the tip and thanks for reviewing this one for me. I know that it is not the happiest of stories.

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Review #6, by Sabrina For the life of me

1st September 2009:
Wow. This was awesome and depressing at the same time. Poor Rose, poor Scorpius!
Love the song choice by the way.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I know that is is a depressing story...and the funny thing is I wasn't even sad when I wrote it, I just heard the song one day and the story came to me.

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Review #7, by Nick For the life of me

12th August 2009:
What a story princess !
I thought that Scorpius was going to take the jump !
It must be hard to write a story with a sad ending, i hope that everyone else who reads your work can appreciate it as much as I do.
In real like people dont always get a storybook ending :(

Author's Response: I wouldn't let Scorpius take the jump...while things were tough, he still felt like he had a life to live.

Writing sad endings are hard, but at the same time, you know as you write where the story is heading so you are prepared for it.

Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #8, by Nick Guilt Stricken

5th August 2009:
Oh dear poor Scorpius ! it wasnt his fault that he keeps his emotions on the inside :s Whats he going to do now?
I guess Ill wait and see -
Thanks for the read princess

Author's Response: Yeah, Scorpius just can't seem to get anything right. But in his defense, it is a lot to deal with.

There's one more chapter to go, so you wont have long to wait for the conclusion.

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Review #9, by BluEyedAngel Guilt Stricken

1st August 2009:
Gah! I thought you were never going to tell us who the "stranger" was that came to support Scorpius. But, now we know and I feel much better. :)

Again, another great emotionally powerful chapter. I'm very interested to see how you complete the story! Thanks for a good read.

Author's Response: I'm glad you now feel better that I revealed who the 'stranger' was. I wouldn't want to leave you in the dark.

Thanks again for the review. It means a lot.

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Review #10, by Nick I wont be held responsible

26th July 2009:
Wow I have not seen a story begin with so much emotion. You have a unique style Princess, passionate about your work. I enjoy reading your stories as always :)

Author's Response: Thank you. This is a very emotional story. It is very different to my last one. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #11, by BluEyedAngel I wont be held responsible

23rd July 2009:
Bummer! Sad, heartbreaking - but appropriate. Originally I thought the emotional reactions from Rose were unrealistic, but as I thought about it I realized they are pretty accurate. She's 18, full of hormones, and already a "flighty" sort of person, so it fits. Poor Scorpius can't do anything right! He can't help it that he doesn't "feel" for the baby, but Rose is so bound up in her own perspective that she won't see from his angle.

This chapter is complete, so complete that I thought this was a one-shot. Glad to see that you've got 2 more chapters coming! Thanks for a good read!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review...first one for this story...YAY

Rose's situation is a hard one to imagine...I've never been in that situation myself. Basically though, she just fell apart...her world had spun completely out of control in such a short time.

I guess the chapter does seem pretty complete. I had never thought that it could seem like a one shot before but I guess that is because I always knew where it was going. The story does continue though and the next chapter is in validation now.

Once again...thanks for the review, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

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