Reading Reviews for The Explanation
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by beapinkie Tell Me Why

23rd September 2012:
Didn't really enjoy this one-shot. I see lily as brilliant, stubborn & beautiful... Not the way she's described in this. Then again that's just mine (and many fan fic readers/writers' view of her as well)

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Review #2, by hp_gw_love Tell Me Why

31st May 2011:
One thing...I don't like being critical, it makes me feel mean. Anyways...When Lily was saying her speech to James, she said " If you were seen with me for more than a week as my boyfriend you'd be kicked off your thrown because of me." You mispelled "thrown". I think you probably meant "throne". It would make more sense... (: I like the story though!

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Review #3, by Julia Tell Me Why

23rd November 2010:
Worst story ever. Lily would never have said those things about herself. You made her sounds like a stupid little girl and James the big male hero who's gonna save her from her insecurities. It's just so mysoginist and as a woman I am offended

Author's Response: So why'd you read it?

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Review #4, by Silver Tell Me Why

14th November 2010:
Love, the AMAZING story made up for the atrocious spelling. yeah, mate. your story is THAT good. :)

Author's Response: Lol, thx! I know my spellings horrid, but I'm glad you still liked the story :)

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Review #5, by blasterbunny Tell Me Why

21st June 2010:
To me language is fine :-)

Author's Response: Awww thank you :). Most people hate my grammar/spelling, lol. I'm glad you didn't! And thnk you for reviewing!

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Review #6, by Myriad Tell Me Why

31st May 2010:
There were a lot of spelling mistakes in this. So, when you write a flashback it is very distracting to the reader to have to read the FLASHBACK/ENDFLASHBACK. Instead you should try and make it more subtle. Never announce that it's a flashback. Maybe try putting it in Italics, or adding a sentence or two that explain your about to read a flashback. Whatever you do don't make it so obtrusive. Also when you have a single character speaking and there are multiple paragraphs of them talking, you do not need the quotations at the end of the paragraph. Just need them at the start of the next. If that makes sense. The last thing I thought was that Lily was way out of character. She wouldn't have said any of those things about herself, and she surely wouldn't have caved and told James about it so easily. There should have been much more resistence there. I believe you caught James' response to Lily well though. I also like how you portrayed Remus. And I like the bit about Peter sleeping through the whole thing. Even Sirius, I thought you did a good job on except perhaps his personality was overexagerated just a little.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I actually redid this, so please re-read it! It's a hell of a lot better now, promise. I also fixed the paragraph issues, I think. How do you know Lily is ooc? We saw only a couple of memories of her in the books. I think that if she was already in pain, she would let it out. This is how I (kind of) picture Lily. Well, I'm glad you liked James, Remus, and Peter. Sirius always felt to me like an over-exaggerated person. So Sirius was actually who I pictured in this scenario. I apologize if you didn't like the characters, but it's my story, so I'll use them however I want to.

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Review #7, by kassandra466 Tell Me Why

30th November 2009:
Awe!!! that was so cute!! i LOVED It!! it was AMAZING!! :DDD

Author's Response: Thx so much! I'm glad you liked it!

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Review #8, by evanlyn Tell Me Why

10th September 2009:
Oh, I love that Lily was avoiding James to protect him, it's echoed in the Harry Potter series by Harry not wanting Ron and Hermione to come with him. Very smart idea, and evry nice one-shot!

Author's Response: Thx! I just always saw Lilly like that. And I always pictured Harry more like Lily than James. Thx SO much for reviewing!

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Review #9, by Rosalie_Bella Tell Me Why

8th July 2009:
I like it. Please finish it! I thought it was amazing.
Regards,
Rosalie_Bella :P

Author's Response: That was the end! Lol. Thx for reviewing but I don\\\'t know how to continue it. If you have any ideas pm them to me.

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Review #10, by Harry and Ginny Tell Me Why

7th July 2009:
great chapter but i founs some mistakes.
1. Verterisum - Veritaserum
2. you're moring pumpkin juice - your morning pumpkin juice
3. aske - ask
4. calling youa fake - calling you a fake
5. You're to good - You're too good
6. eachother - each other
7. realized alot during the summer - realized a lot during the summer
8. Your James Potter - You're James Potter... Your bloody hot! - You're bloody hot!
9. five minuetes - five minutes
10. just said is trues - just said it's true
11. sowhy are you one - so why are you one

i hope i could help and i also hope u don't take me wrong as i write this big review. i thought u could make a story like a novel of Lily and James. what do u think?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! And thank you for showing me my mistakes in a civilized list (I love lists!) and not being a jerk about it. The reason why those mistakes are in the story is because I was writing this chapter at about 3 in the morning. I have a novel about Lily and James called \\\"Operation Stag and Flower\\\".

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