Reading Reviews for Diversions from Reality.
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Aphoride Shocked

20th May 2015:
Hi there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

I love how you move on with the time at the beginning of this - especially with Remus, too, after everything which happened at the end of the last chapter - and how everything in this one again happens so quickly, in such a short space of time. It's so true to life that often important things happen so quickly, you know? Especially when people are teenagers :P

I really like how nervous Remus is around Sirius - it's such a great representation of that hyperawareness you always have around someone you fancy - and how he combats that by going out of his way to avoid him. Of course Sirius would notice though - it was never going to throw him off for that long :P He's clever enough to realise what's going on, if not why.

I really liked, too, how you referenced the Gryffindor/Slytherin tensions, especially the tensions between the purebloods who supported Voldemort, and those who didn't in this chapter. Poor Remus, though... to get caught in the middle of that... not somewhere you'd want to be, that's for sure! Of course Sirius had to turn up to rescue him - so typical, haha, in romance fics, though you do it so well and it works so well in this that it's not really possible to mind it as such.

I feel so so sorry for Lily and Remus in this. Sirius is probably confused and struggling with his own identity, but going straight from Remus to Lily, as though he can prove himself that way is really cruel to both of them, you know? Neither of them deserve to be treated like that... though I still love how cruel your Sirius can be - how rude and arrogant and completely unthinking as well. It's just so much like how I saw him in the books! :)

Your writing in this is great, too. I really liked the bit at the beginning where you described Remus alone in the castle and avoiding Sirius - the details there were great, with him having to lie to Lily and copy her notes so his friends wouldn't think anything weird was going on, and everything like that.

I really enjoyed this chapter - it was such a great read! Thanks so much for the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey :) What a fab review :) thank you!! I'm glad you like the timing; I did wonder if it was moving too fast but I didn't want to do too many angsty will they/wont they chapters. And I imagine anything like that is intensified in a boarding school! I also thought that Regulus would single Remus out for being different and to provoke his brother.
And Sirius definitely has a cruel streak I think. It just seemed like the exact way he would react to the situation.

I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks so much again x


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Review #2, by merlins beard Doubts

16th May 2015:
Hi! Oh I knew Remus was going to do that. Sirius handled it pretty well... i think they'll be fine.

Sirius' mum reacts just as we know her, sweet Walburga Black... such a loving mother. I feel sorry for both Sirius and Regulus for having to deal with that..

I'm really happy with this chapter!!!
I can never get enough of Remus/Sirius :heart:

~Anja

Author's Response: I think he would always worry about accidentally hurting someone he cares about. Bless him.


You do have to sympathise with them don't you? So sad. At least Sirius had somewhere to escape too.

Yay! I'm glad. :) Thank you *hugs*
Me neither. It's a bit of an obsession really!

Love
Sophie xx


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Review #3, by merlins beard Consequences

8th May 2015:
Aw this chapter is so sweet. Thank God Sirius decided to 'show' Remus what he meant to him. Maybe they really have a chance together.

Lily really is the one that gets hurt the most by all this, but maybe she lets James comfort her and help her through it. There's still hope for James and Lily :D (that makes me happy).

I really want to thank you for updating so fast. It's great to not have to go back to the previous chapter because I can't remember whats happened...

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: I even tried to add more description ;) I thought Sirius would want to make a public statement like that once he had come to terms with it all.

And yes, Lily is the most hurt but I'm sure she'll find a way to console herself ;)


I do try, once I get an idea I try and write it before I forget it!!


Thanks so much again, I'm so happy you're still enjoying.


Love
Sophie xxx


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Review #4, by merlins beard Hangover

6th May 2015:
Hi!
I want you to know that I'm happy with the chapter, too.

The dialogue is great. I knew something like this was bound to happen. They couldn't get away with someting like that forever.

I'm glad they're happy together and really like each other, but I feel really sorry for Lily. It will take a while for her to trust anyone again after that. Sirius really should have told her right away.

Sirius is a git at the end of the chapter. I feel sorry for Remus, too. I guess he feels like he's been strung along, too.

I have two things I'd like to point out:
first: Descriptions again. You've got almost nothing but dialogue in this chapter. While it is great and everything important is totally coming across, I think the chapter could benefit from slowing it down a bit with descriptive bits. What does Remus' hair look like when Sirius comes up to the dorm? Are the curtains drawn around the bed? is sunlight coming through the window, making the dust that's daning around in the air visible? These are just some examples.

Second: This is way too short, I would have loved to read more, more, MORE!
:D

I really did enjoy this a lot. I can't wait for the next update. Keep up the great work

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed. I didn't want to drag it out particularly or it would just be a series of incidents with them nearly getting caught etc.

Well, I couldn't let Sirius be too straightforward now could I? haha

Urgh, I never even realise I'm doing that- I thin because I just have the dialogue in my head, the description doesn't occur to me. I may go back tomorrow and have a look at it again- I like your ideas so thanks :D

I do think my chapters are short, but that's because I don't like to force them. They feel unnatural to me.

Thank you so much again :)

Love
Sophie xx


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Review #5, by merlins beard Arguments

5th May 2015:
Hi there.
So, I'm really excited about this chapter. Remus is right in everything he sais but I wish he wouldn't be so hurt... (I know it's only natural that he feels that way)

Being in lily's company intoxicated could have ended badly. I'm glad he didn't let anything slip.

Siriua probably isn't going to tell her tomorrow, though I wish he would. Being strung along would hurt more than Sirius honestly ending things. Sure, the timing was bad, but going behind her back all the time is even worse.

Can't wait for more,
Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hello again :)

This is my attempt at reverting cliches (Remus getting drunk rather than Sirius.) But it really could've gone very wrong, luckily James was there to keep an eye on him!!

I wonder if Sirius will tell... we shall see!!

Hopefully I can start on a new chapter tomorrow :)

Thanks again, so happy that you continue to enjoy!!!

Love
Sophie xxx


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Review #6, by LadyL8 Afternoon Delight...

4th May 2015:
Hi again *waves*

So I'm here with the promised review. I'm not sure if I can live up to your expectations after the my last review, but I'll try to make this one good as well. I had to do this story, because I saw it was another Sirius story, and you know from my last review how much I love him. So I'm looking forward to reading it, because I already know/remember you're good at capturing his character. And I've never read anything with this pairing before, so I'm so excited to see how it will turn out.

I tend to start 'at first glance', simply because I think it's important for an author to know what a reader thinks just from looking at the story - because it's the first impression that decides whether or not someone will read it. What immediately captures my attention is the banner. I (almost) never stories without a banner, because I'm unfortunately one of those people that do judge a book by it's cover. And I know I'm not the only one that does that. Therefore I think it was very smart of you to have asked someone to make you a banner, because it really can be the difference between reading and not reading for some people.

The next thing I notice is the title. I think the title is amazing, it's sort of open so you don't really know what will happen. But at the same time it fits this pairing so well, because they are not the kind of people you'd think of putting together... at least not the initially. And they do live in a time of war, so being together must be a like escaping the harsh reality for a little while. So yes, I like the title and the summary is good too. I'm not a big fan of summaries ending with a question, but that's just a question of taste, so at lot of people would probably not be bothered by that.

To sum up, the first impression is good. I'm thinking this will be a humourous story with a lot of romance, but also with a little bit of seriousness beneath it (because of the pre-war situation and all that). And now over to the actual first chapter:

I'm a big fan of people starting a chapter with description and/or scenery. I just think it's a lot easier to follow the plot when I know where the characters are and/or what they are doing as they are thinking about all the things they think about in the story (that was a really weird of putting it, I now realise :P ). So I like your beginning, because it immediately gave me this mental image of Lily lying in bed with a very handsome Sirius (yes, I got a bit of a crush on him, even if I'm technically aromantic and don't feel any romantic attraction for anyone - fictional or not).

I think you, once again, have an amazing charactersation. I actually think that might be your biggest strenght, you just really capture the essence of your characters and portray them very realistically. And it's so refreshing to see, because a lot of people can't get them right, especially the marauders. So I'm envious of your ability to do write good dialogues that do not feel forced in any way, I really am.

I noticed two small things that you might want to check. The first is probably just a small typo: "wide eyed innocence" should be "wide-eyed innocence". And the second is the large gap in the middle of the dialogue. If it was intended, then forget I mentioned it, but I'm pretty sure it's just a formatting mistake. It happens with me all the time when I upload something on the archive, because the site's formatting is different from the one I use in my writering program. It should be easy to fix though.

Other than that I think everything's good. I like that Lily is very "protective" of Snape, because that's very believable. I can imagine her being like that, in fact I think some of it might be cannon if I don't remember completely wrong. But either way, I think it's very realistic, so good job for including it!

Hope you have a wonderful week! I'll hopefully be back once I'm done with everyone else's reviews :)

Hugs

Lotte

Author's Response: Hello :) *waves back*

Wow- epic review again. :) I know what you mean about banners and summaries- they are the things that draw you to a story or not, so I'm very pleased that they attracted you in the first place.

I'll be honest, most of my chapters open with dialogue- I don't know why, I suppose because I enjoy writing dialogue the most. Which again makes me happy when people say lovely things about my ability to write it *happy dance*

Also, I'm so pleased you like the characterization; I do have concerns that it can veer towards cliche but I just take what I know about the characters and see how they would react in whatever situation (for example- there's very little chance that Sirius would live the childhood he had and not be traumatised etc).

Urgh- I'm rubbish at responding to reviews, I always think I'm gushing but I am truly grateful to you for reading and leaving such a lovely review. And I hope you continue to enjoy the story

Hugs to you

Sophie xx


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Review #7, by TearsIMustConceal Afternoon Delight...

4th May 2015:
Hey, Iím here for your review request!

I thought I would choose this story just because I havenít read any of your stories in your verse and I was really intrigued by a Lily/Sirius pairing so I hope thatís okay!

I love how Lily and Sirius are portrayed Ė theyíre so similar to canon which really makes me happy. I love that Sirius is the rebel student Ė I feel really connected to that side of him because that rebel-ness instantly makes me think of him! And I feel as though Lily, almost being the opposite of him, is the perfect complement to his bad side. I loved Lily here Ė she is exactly how I imagine her to be and especially with her instinct to stick up for Snape, despite everything and despite the fact that Sirius hates him Ė her morals and her conscience always win out and thatís how I picture her Ė the goodness in her is so strong that she canít stand to see other people hurt, even if it is Snape who is the victim!

I feel as though their argument portrayed the type of relationship they have - a passionate one. The way the relationship was perfect one minute and then the next, they were fighting and Lily was walking out. That is so realistic, especially in a young relationship (Iíve been there many times when I was in school) and I feel as though you can easily relate Ė emotions run high and a simple thing like hexing Snape manages to become a full blown argument. But poor Lily, feeling like sheís on a rollercoaster canít be easy and thatís how her relationship with Sirius must seem like. And Sirius having doubts after the argument and the comment about Lily not filling the gap Ė I feel as though thatís such an accurate portrayal of Sirius and the way he is.

Jamesí little cameo was great! His awkwardness came across as genuine and I could feel the embarrassment! I also feel a little for him because it must be hard to see Sirius and Lily together but he seems to have out his feelings aside for Siriusí sake and I love that. And Remus, oh Remus, I just love him and his character and youíve portrayed him perfectly! I always see him as being in the middle, being the mediator of the group and the one who keeps the group dynamic together so itís not surprising that Lily would go to him to ask for help!

Your dialogue and writing is so perfect for this story Ė it all fits and itís easy to imagine the conversation between them all flowing naturally Ė the dialogue fits their ages perfectly! This was definitely a good start to what seems like an interesting story and I canít wait to read the next couple of chapters!

-Vicki

Author's Response: What a lovely review. I'm so glad that you think the characterization works because I worry that they could be a bit cliched. But I read somewhere that JKR said Harry gets his saving people thing and that side of his personality from Lily so I thought she would still stick up for Snape. I also wondered at James accepting them together, but I agree, he would step aside for his best friend. And Remus would be the natural peace maker, and Sirius with his upbringing would be the rebel.

Thank you so much, I'm really happy that you enjoyed it!

Sophie xxx


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Review #8, by merlins beard Complications

1st May 2015:
Hi there!
YAY! Another chapter!!
You made me very happy with tje fast update. :D

Poor, poor Lily. I dearly hope she only said that because she's feeling so sad. Being in love with someone who loves someone else must be terrible. She'll be devastated, especially because, knowing Sirius, he probably won't let her down gently... he just wouldn't know how.

I have so many reviews left to do tonight, so I'll make this short.

I can't wait for the next chapter, and then the next after that and so on...

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Thought I'd try as I'm busy over the next couple of days. :)
I know poor Lily. But it's all part of my master plan. Hopefully I'll be able to update soon!
Love

Sophie xx


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Review #9, by merlins beard Reality

30th April 2015:
Hi again. I think I need help. I might be addicted to leaving reviews (but it doesn't feel like anyone would mind that too much, so it's probably not a terrible addiction to have).

The timing really does suck sometimes. It's so sad that Sirius is ready to tell everyone (still moving really fast i think) and can't because he can't hurt lily any further. I'm glad he's thoughtful enough to watch out for her in a situation like that.

I know Remus understands, but I also know he must feel really terrible. Lily is his friend, too. So they are both going behind her back. That makes it worse because this would already be hard on him if she wasn't his friend.

This chapter could do with a little more detail as well, but that's probably just personal preference.

I really like where the story is going. I hope you'll update soon.

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Most definitely not a bad addiction to have!! I should probably develop that one myself haha.

It is moving fast, but a lot of the S/R I've read have the will they/won't they situations, and I've tried to set it up that it's been brewing for a while. We know Sirius has his good side and he likes her enough to look after her I think! And poor Remus, it is something of a quandary!!
Being more detail is definitely something I need to work on, I've always been more focused on dialogue as I've found it more natural to write it more (if that makes sense!)

I am working on the next chapter, if I don't get it finished tomorrow it'll be beginning of next week!

Thank you so much again

Love
Sophie xxx


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Review #10, by merlins beard Diversions

30th April 2015:
wow, things are looking better for Rwmus. They both really move fast... (not that I mind that)

I have one thing i'd like to suggest for this chapter. I really would like the part where they fight with more detail. What do they think? See? Feel? Smell? Do their hands sweat? Is the room messy? Does Sirius run his hands through his hair? (Something like that)

Lily is probably going to be sad when she finds out... i'm guessing she wouldn't be with a guy if she didn't really like him, so it will probably be very hard for her. I can't decide if James will be happy (if he finds our about Remus and Sirius) or if he'll be really mad that sirius would betray lily like that...
Can't wait for the next chapter

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: I did wonder if it was a bit fast but then I felt that drawing it out would feel a bit forced somehow.

Hmmm now well there's an idea... *fans self* I will definitely have to think about that. I think I left it out just as I was conscious of ToS and I didn't want to go too far lol.

I know, poor Lily... but we shall see what happens with her ;)

These reviews really have made me day!!! Thank you

Love
Sophie x


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Review #11, by merlins beard Shocked

30th April 2015:
Hi!

That was a really good chapter. I love how the tension is slowly building up between them. OF COURSE, sirius is there when Remus is attacked. I get what you mean by it being cliche now, but I really like it. Sirius is right, it probably won't be pretty when Lily dinds out he damaged school peoperty (again)...

It's's understandable that Sirius doesn't cope well with kissing his best friend, but running straight to Lily is a low blow. Remus must be so disappointed, even though Sirius IS dating her. I hope everything turns out allright for Remus.

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hey :)

I'm glad you liked it. I think it's difficult not to put some cliches in sometimes lol. But I did think Sirius would be the one to be there and destroy stuff to defend his friend!! And I think he would be wise to stay out of her way for a bit, haha.

I thought he would be the kind of person to try and 'prove' himself, as it were, and that cruel streak of his would try and prove it to Remus too!

I'm so so pleased you're still enjoying it!!! Yay!!


Love
Sophie xx


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Review #12, by merlins beard Discussions and Disagreements

30th April 2015:
Hi again.

I'm glad I'm giving this a gogo, even without James/Lily.., (well not yet anyway -who knows), because this really isn't the usual love story between Lily and Sirius.

Black Sabbath - great choice in music!!

Poor Remus tries to help his friends but they don't recognize the attempt... Sirius is very Sirius-like, making rash decisions and worrying only about reputation and sex...

I really feel sorry for James, who definitely liked Lily first... Sirius really isn't a very good friend at the moment.

Nice hint at the end. I hope Remus will become a little more brave soon.

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: *waves*

I'm trying to keep cliches out, but never sure if I have. I know Sirily can be a bit textbook.

Haha my husband is a Black Sabbath fan, which gave me the idea that Sirius might use them for his angry music!!


One thing that I've struggled with is Sirius going after Lily knowing James likes her- I know he would be antagonistic etc with everyone else (Even Remus and Lily). And Remus would definitely feel caught between a rock and a hard place, being friends with Lily but not feeling he should talk to Sirius about it...

Thank you so much again :)

Love
Sophie xx


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Review #13, by merlins beard Afternoon Delight...

30th April 2015:
Hi there!
Apparently train rides are good for something after all. I got to your story much earlier than I thought.
I usually don't read anything about the Marauders that doesn't have James/Lily in it, but it'll be interesting to see where you take this since it has Remus/Sirius in it (one of my favourite pairings)...
I like your writing style a lot and I'm really excited for the next chapter, so I'll just give Lily and Sirius a chance for now :D

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hello :) Trains rides are excellent for things like this hehe!
James/Lily is one of my favourite pairings too but I decided to try and stretch myself a bit. And as Sirius/Remus is another favourite it seemed the obvious choice.
I'm so pleased you like it! Thank you!

Love

Sophie xxx


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Review #14, by Aphoride Discussions and Disagreements

26th April 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

I love the way this continues on from the first one - how smooth the scene change is, from Lily talking to Remus to them here at the beginning of this one, too. It's so great!

Your characters, as before, are so so good, too! I love the little hints about Remus maybe fancying Sirius, and Sirius sort of knowing and being so horrible about it - he really is so cruel at times! - and how he tries so hard to be the reasonable one in their group of friends; it's so true to his character in the books. James had such a great little cameo in this - he seems almost run down and worn, as though he's kinda old before his time, exhausted in a way, which is so unique in a portrayal of him, and I really love it :)

Sirius, as before, is really pretty nasty here. He's really not very nice to his friends - his teasing's so malicious, you know? It's kinda ironic how in this he's really just as bad as Snape as, just perhaps in a different way. Remus has a point, too, about Sirius' relationship with Lily not necessarily being a good thing, for either of them - and the argument Remus and Sirius have over it definitely shows a lot of the difficulties there would be in a relationship between people so different as Lily and Sirius, which I loved.

You really are so good at showing emotions in writing - the way you described Sirius' emotions in his was so, so good, and the way you displayed Remus' emotions and wound those in too, was so so lovely. You really bring the feelings out of the story, which is so great, especially in this story, and I love how volatile so many of the characters are - especially Sirius. It really gives this this sense that things are on edge, that people are on edge, which is so so lovely and so great for this kind of forbidden-esque romance, you know?

I'm so so curious to know what happens after this, you leave so many threads hanging: what is going to happen between Sirius and Lily? Will James and Lily ever get together and how would it happen? Does Remus actually like Sirius and will anything ever happen with that? It's such a good plot you've got here, surprisingly suspenseful for a romance-involving story! :P

So glad I got a chance to stop by this again! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello :) Again, Day=Made! I'm so so chuffed you liked it. This is a bit out of my comfort zone as I've never written anything quite like this before. I think Sirius has always had a malicious streak, whether it's just him or whether he lashes out because of the way he was treated by his family- whose to say. I wasn't sure about James really as he may not have actually forgiven Sirius for going out with Lily, but then I suppose he would be likely to put his friend's happiness before his own! As to what will happen next with Jily- well, that would be telling...
I think Remus is genuinely torn between doing what he sees as the right thing by trying to help Lily, and all these confusing feeling that he doesn't know are reciprocated! I think Remus is another character who would put other people's happiness before his own!
I do like to keep people guessing a bit (I love a cliffy! haha). I kind of know the answers to all those questions- but obviously I'm giving nothing away ;)
Thanks so much again, I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

ML xxx


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Review #15, by Aphoride Afternoon Delight...

22nd March 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I hope it's okay I chose this one, since I haven't read any of your big -verse, so I didn't want to jump in where I might not understand how it all works and so on. Plus, Sirius/Lily is one of those fascinating pairings where so much is possible and yet not possible, and it could be canon but could also not be, you know? :P

I love how you've characterised all of them in this - Sirius and Lily especially, but James and Remus too. There's something so real about them you know, and they really are so reminiscent of the characters from canon, too. Like, Sirius being such a rebel and not really caring about school really fits with his personality later, and I loved the little mentions of his friends and family, and how he'd thought Lily would be good for him, and then he seems to be having second thoughts after their argument. I loved Lily, too - how she was sort of almost the exact opposite, being a lot more rule-abiding and conscientious and moral, too, even if sticking by her principles didn't make things easy with Sirius - her sticking up for Snape. But then, that's always how I imagined Lily from canon, you know? Moral and principled and she almost lives and dies by them.

James and Remus were so great, popping in - especially Remus. I loved how he and Lily were friends and did rounds together, and how James was so awkward around Sirius and Lily when he walked in on them. Poor James :P

I like how you started this with an argument, too - it's such a great hook because of the glimpse of their relationship when it's good, then seeing it break. I just want to know why it's such a big thing, if they can manage to stick it out together or if they're going to split up. Poor Lily, it's so unfair for her to feel like she should do something to make it up to him; it's not her fault he refuses to talk to her. She can't make him, after all... the little glimpse of Remus defending Sirius at first, but then agreeing to help Lily makes me so curious about how the Marauders in total will get caught up in this - will they have to take sides? Will any of them side with Lily over Sirius? So many questions! :P

Your writing in this is so lovely, too - your word choice is so spot on, and your description is great; I loved how Sirius described Lily as 'holier than thou' especially. It's so fitting for how you've characterised her in this! Your dialogue really stood out to me - it really sounds like teenagers talking, you know, and it sounds so casual and easy, like a natural conversation, which is so hard to do (at least, it is for me, haha)! It's so so good! :)

As a start this is so so good - a perfect amount of information, hook and cliffhanger at the end, and character-study type introductions. It's so exciting to see you've updated it recently, too - hopefully you keep going with it - it's a brilliant start! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Well that's just made my day!! I'm so pleased you did this as one I resurrected it recently. I like to write Lily with a mischievous streak, and I like the idea of her being drawn to Sirius but being conflicted by her morals at the same time. I don't want to give anything away but there is another pairing I'm planning on here...

And thank you, I love writing dialogue, it seems to flow quite easily for me and, I'm happy it sounds age appropriate :)

Thank you so much, I shall try and do a couple more of yours over the week

Sophie xxx


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Review #16, by Confused Fly Afternoon Delight...

12th August 2009:
Hey! I liked it!
I dunno why many people don't like Lily/Sirius.. I love this pairing! Well, I like Lily/James too, of course, just... yeah.
When will be the next chapter? I'll try to check every now and then..
Keep it up! :)

Author's Response: I'm being careful with this one- I really want to make sure I'm 100% happy with it before I post anything. But I will post asap.
Thank youxx


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Review #17, by Leent Afternoon Delight...

28th June 2009:
Yay! Think I might be the first to review here. And it definitely gives me enough to go on for the banner :)

Dialogue was perfect! The inner mind play as they spoke definitely led the story well, and the way you put together up Sirius and Lily was very conceivable. I always have a hard time with that pairing, but you really made it work. I can see the smoke rings of drama beginning to form!

Excellent start, and I will get to work ;)

Author's Response: Yay *hugs* Thankyouthankyouthankyou.
I did enjoy writing this. Many challenges here, as I'm not always comfortable with Sirius/Lily and never written this type of fic before...
As ever your review's made me feel all warm and fuzzy lol


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