Oh my god i wasn't expecting that...i am as heart broken as draco right now..!!!..xxx Report Review
haha pavlova for breakfast..they sell chiko rolls at the chicken shop down the road from my house
the Botanic Garden toilets have more fame for forbidden hookups than the Palm House btw. or the toilets in Toyz R Us Report Review
okay... constructive criticism time...
First of all: the drama. Good Lord Almighty, I hate drama. A little bit here and there is okay, but you had ungodly amounts of that godforsaken crap.
Second: contractions. Unless trying to get a very strong point across, there is absolutely no reason to say 'you are' or 'that is' or 'are not.' Most people don't talk that way; in the dialogue the person sounds funny, but in the narratives it just sounds like you're trying too hard (Now read it like this: it just sounds like you are trying too hard. See what I'm talking about?)
Third: after finishing whatever you are writing, take an hour or so to go relax AWAY from the computer, or at the very least away from the story, and then go back to it and edit it. Repeat the process until it does not need to be edited anymore, and then read it one more time before posting it. This helps prevent silly mistakes. And trust me, you will find some pretty weird stuff the first and second time that you edit it; at least, I did when writing my own fanfics.
Aaaand now think about how the above paragraph would sound if I had used contractions. Sorry, but I really needed to make a point because that stuff really bugs me... hahaha
Now some stuff to consider while writing to make the story super-extra good: I personally like it when an auther can take a fantasy or fictional setting and make it believable. Not the fantasy part, but the behavior of the characters and such. If the characters behave like normal humans albeit the fantasy stuff, then you're good to go. Second: DEAR LORD I CAN'T TAKE THE DRAMA. Yes I may be a bit of a melodramatic person, but I don't put it in my fanfics. Except for when I was eight and wrote stuff about romantic candlelit dinners with Harry and Hermione. Silly me.
Also, when writing/reading DM+HG stories, I find that the most believable ones involve either both of them bumping into each other and deciding after an awkward conversation to put their past behind them, or when something traumatic happens to Hermione and Draco helps her through it. Either way, Draco has to wise up and get over his prejudices. Also I find that I like when Ron is either beating Hermione (or anyone/thing, for that matter) or is a complete jerk. Because personally, I hate Ron.
Anyway, there you are! Thankfully I didn't have to go ranting and raving as I normally do about how much of an idiot you are if you though that this was a good fanfic... though please, do ease up on the drama...
and sorry it's so long :) Report Review
on no! pooor draco, he had finally found something worth living for. Report Review
awww that sucks, no offence i am just so annoyed with them having to go away, man reality is harsh. but i totally understand. They are so cute, so perfect together i am sad that it has to come to an end. Report Review
aw!!! 'mione is such a forgiving person i wouldn't be as easy to win over. But he is rather charming. Cant wait till the next chapter Report Review
so he finally realises, and it begins. Report Review
aw draco is so sweet!!! i wonder how 'mione will react, i knoe i'd be embarrased if i spoke with the wrong guy Report Review
oooh so he has eyes for 'mione. interesting!!! cants wait to read on. Report Review
i love the first chapter, i sympathise with draco poor guy. awesome what he did to his dad's car though!!! Report Review
i love how u used the quote from the bible!
when she waz shot i waz like WHOA WHT THE HECK!?!?!
lolz but shez fine now! yay!
again very good! Report Review
So sweet. I really like this story. I'll read more of your stories soon. I like the way you got them together and made Dracio such a likeable character. Report Review
it's exactly like the indian movie "Love Story 2050"...
only the boy goes forward in time and gets back the girl...
you only wrote half of the story... Report Review
i fuckn loved it! i think u shud really write a sequel. ill b waiting for moreAuthor's Response: Hello Cdarkmaiden52292
Wow!! Thanx 4 d incredible feedback and such dazzlin comments.. Yay!! u just make my day, heck, my week actually *Smiles jubilantly* I am so glad u really loved d story and thanx 4 ur generous sequel comment and d adorable compliment.. i can't promise but maybe i'll write it after all, but then i may not too.. we shall c.. Anyways, it was really a pleasure 2 read ur sugary review n i do invite ideas 4 d sequel, i will be really happy 2 know ur front abt it if u please so.. Kudos once again 4 d sparklin review!! :) :) Report Review
So sorry that I haven't checked this story for a while. Busy. I love it! The ending was sooo cute. Thank you for keeping Pretty Hermoine alive. I love you!:)
I would LOVE a sequel
PottersGirlAuthor's Response: Hello PottersGirl
I am so glad dat u like d endin so much *smiles jubilantly* Abt keepin Hermione alive, well, i wudn't have it ny other way.. *winks* Thanx 4 ur Sparklin review n comments, i am so happy dat u found d story so-good.. well, i am also glad dat u appreciate d idea of a sequel but am not too sure abt it, though very soon am puttin on a new fic abt Draco n Hermione pairin, please feel free to check it out n givin me ur comments abt it.. Till then, thanx a lot 4 takin d journey wid Draco and Hermione in this fic uptill d very end, ur say n comments were deeply appreciated :) :) Report Review
Heya! Great story so far, but slightly odd. I live in Australia, and have travelled it heaps, but they would never serve damper in a hotel. It's a camping food.Author's Response: Hello D'Lisa
Thanx 4 ur generous comments.. am so glad u find my story apt to ur likin.. :) :) Abt ur perception on d cuisines.. well, ah i remembebr wat i fondly called as 'D Food Controversy'.. u c, i've never been to Australia but i admit dat durin my research on d story, i mite have had a slip some-where.. to b precise, i found d food-stuffs i mentioned under d term as 'Australian Cuisines'.. n den 2 at d beginnin of d story, it stirrred up a reaction from my Aussie readers.. well, u r rite on ur place.. I'll look it up once again and correct d rite version thru editing of course.. in fact some of u gave some valuable suggestions regardin it, perhaps i'll use dem.. Nonetheless, thanx 4 writin me a wonderful review n tellin me ur precious thoughts abt d story.. :) :)
PS: I hope u njoy d rest of d story! n plz don't hesitate to tell me watever u feel abt it, ur opinions n thoughts r most welcomed *smiles* Report Review
It's kind of weird don't ya think..
Draco forgetting Mione is acceptable..
Mione forgetting Draco is unbelievable..
It's a bit short btw..Author's Response: Hello emylee94
Well, u definitely have ur perception n say on d matter but i certainly have a different view on it which i wud xplain rite now hopin dat after which mayb u'll agree wid me..
C my story is based full six years later after the Great War at Hogwarts.. n dat was d last time Draco and Hermione ever saw each other. After that Hermione moved to Australia wid her parents n their newly-restored memories while Malfoy remained back at England getting on wid his challengin life.. Now, 6 summers n winters have passed since d duo saw each other, let alone talkin. The two of them have grown more, become more diverse in nature (in Hermione's case), outgrown old prejudices( in Draco's case). Their personalities r more evolved n wid age have got a mature edge to their character as well as thier looks.. Hermione has filled out in just rite places n has developed into a beautiful lady, extremely unknown to Draco of the past who knows her just like a skinny, borin n a geeky book-worm.. Similar is d case wid Draco, he has also escpaed his cocoon of childhood n has grown to b a handsome fellow, which again is unknown to Hermione of the past who recognises him only as an arrogant jerk who opens his mouth only to insult. So when in the story Draco is bein civil, actually, very friendly n well behaved n Hermione lookin real stunnin, both of them r just unable to comprehend each other at just one go.. and also d fact dat they've only had two brief meetins so far wid no personal time.. d first when Draco saw her just for tiny 10 secs n d second wid 3-4 pleasant n funny dialogues between dem and i think that finally concludes my point of them not recognisin each other.. Although, later in the story when they spend good enough time wid each other at a dinner ( in the next chappie itself) their identities r revealed.. i hope u'll find it in sync wid d theory.
PS: I hope i didn't xplain n propound much.. I hope u njoyed d story, thanx 4 writin a review n tellin me ur thoughts abt d story :) :) Report Review
this should be chapter 2 not 3Author's Response: Oops-a-daisy!! Thanx 4 really pointin dat out Thomas.. must've happened by mistake n d usual haste am in. Thanks 2 u now i've corrected such a blunder.. :) :)
PS: I hope u njoyed d story. Report Review
omg yay hermiones not dead! loved the ending, i think an alternate ending would just ruin the harry endign! but if u wrote one id read it! great story i really loved it!!!Author's Response: Hello Ness17
First of all, a big thanku to u for followin d story until d very end *Smiles* Thanks 4 all d wonderful reviews u wrote 4 every chappie n dey were really motivatin n d enthusiasm u expressed for futher chappies really encouraged me.. Thanx once again 4 all ur heart-warmin thoughts n comments :) :) I am glad u like d endin.. Draco and Hermione happy together is d best thin dat happens at d end of a Draco/Hermione story.. like u, even i don't like sad endins.. *smiles*
I agree wid u, an alternate endin wud definitely ruin d happy ambience, so, am definitely not writin it, actually, i won't have it ny other way.. I mite write a sequel, please b on d look-out if u wud want to read it of course.. Nonetheless, thanx 4 ur awesome compliment, it feels so gr8 2 know dat u really loved readin my story.. Yay!! *Grins gleefully* Report Review
i'm definitely glad Hermione survived the accident and that now, she and Draco are happily married and expecting children. it's sad because this fic is now over but i hope that now u'll update the story of Harry and Ginny please.^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: Hello Harry and Ginny
I wud like 2 start by sayin a giant thank u 2 u.. 4 takin d journey till d very end of my story.. It was really sugary of u 2 write really amazin reviews n give excellent ratins 4 every chappie, dat really boosted me n d enthusiasm expressed by u throughout dis fic really motivated me.. so thank u my friend! *smiles*
Now abt d endin, well am so pleased n happy dat u really like d endin.. There is no other way i'll have it n its really good dat u agree wid me, happy ones r d best :) :) Inspite dat, even i feel a lill sad, this fic was, actually is, really close to me and it felt kind of empty on my side now to finally complete it n knowin dat i won't b able 2 add more 2 it, nonetheless, i mite write a sequel, please b on d look-out if u r interested :) :)
Ah, d Harry/Ginny story well, i've got it written down, two more chappies i think 4 it.. mayb i'll c.. dese days lot of school work is really takin a toll on me but i'll try n upload it as soon as i can..
Thanx 4 ur wonderful review n comments n a superb ratin! dat really made my day!!
Oh how could you? I mean it was so well written and I could feel what the characters were feeling. I felt Draco's pain so that made me cry. How could Hermoine die? I love her soo much.
Well I still love this story,:)
PottersGirlAuthor's Response: *Offers you a giant bowl of choco-chip ice-cream* I hope u'll b able 2 4give me after dis sugary lill bribe, well, i just want 2 say umm Yay!! Please don't take it wrong, its just dat i was hopin on elictin d same reaction frm u n am glad i cud.. i mean i agree d tragedy is d worst thin dat cud ever happen but i tried to make it realistic by puttin in lot of feelins n i am so pleased dat it turned out just d rite way.. thank u 4 tellin me dat my words cud create d sad ambience well.. n am sorry u had to feel d same pain as Draco, but belive me wen i was writin it, i also felt exacly dat bad.. Umm i won't comment much on wat happened, all i will say in simple words is dat d epilogue which i talked abt will surely conclude up d story.. I hope u'll read it n will find it tasteful *winks* Oops-a-daisy, am givin too much away.. *zips my own mouth* Well, thanx 4 readin n reviewin n am glad u love my story.. dis just really makes my day so beautiful..!! :) :) Report Review
O.o YOU KILLED HERMIONE OFF? omg that was really good tho!!! aww but i was hoping for a happy ending!!! this truely made me want to cry!!! but it was really good! wow! cant wait for the epilogue!Author's Response: Hello Ness17
I am so sorry u felt like cryin.. Here *offers u a large plate of freshly-baked brownies* I hope dis sugary treat will work in my favour.. *hopefully* Abt d targedy wid Hermione n a happy endin, well, friend, 2 b really candid, i can't comment.. as i said dere is an epilogue which will finally wrap up thins.. It'll b here soon n i hope u find it suitable.. Thanx 4 ur awesome review n comments.. dey r really appreciated :) :) Report Review
oh no! how could u kill Hermione? now i think if Draco isn't happy without Hermione by his side, then he should kill himself and maybe u could have them reuniting again but in the afterlife. will u update soon please? also, will u update the story of Harry and Ginny please?^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: Hi Harry and Ginny
Interestin idea..! Hmm, all i wud say is dat although its an entire new perspective d story can b viewed in but sadly am not plannin dis 4 my epilogue.. Sure, d epilogue wud soon b here n definitely it'll conclude up thins.. i hope u'll find it fit *Smiles*
Abt Harry/Ginny story.. it always makes me smile like now, whenver u ask abt it.. I just love d support u have extended so far for my lill short story n dat really makes me very happy.. Actually, am overwhelmed dat u like it so much.. Sure, i'll try n update it as soon as possible.. just Stay Tuned please 4 it :) :)
Anyways, thanx 4 writin a fantastic review 4 my dis fic n tons of thanx 4 d sparklin 10/10.. dat always is d cherry on d top 4 me..!! Report Review
WHAT? You killed Hermione? Poor poor Draco! You can't make a Dramione story and then kill of Hermione.*tear*Author's Response: Yay!! I was hopin on elictin d same response from u *hi five* Umm well, on a more sadder note, yeah, d tragedy has stuck, Draco is broken..
Well, i admit its quite a twist.. umm.. am not really commentin on it, as i mentioned, d epilogue is still left which will b here soon n it'll conclude up d story finally. Till then, i hope u can 4give me 4 such a move. Here, *offers you a giant choco-chip cookie* I hope dis certainly makes u feel better *smiles hopefully* Thanx for writin me a wonderful review.. it was definitely a pleasure 2 read ur thoughts.. :) :) n one more thing i wanna say n that is Stay Tuned Please!! Report Review
aw! how romantic! i LOVED it :D cant wait for more!!! so cute!Author's Response: Thanx 4 ur awesome words Ness17
It really makes me happy 2 hear ur thoughts on d chappie.. n am so glad u found it all sappy yet impactful n sugary.. :) :)
Thanx once again 4 ur sweet compliments, abt next chappie, well, its in d que n wud b here as soon as it is validated.. hope u like it too.. Stay Tuned Please!! :) :) Report Review
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