Reading Reviews for Balance
  
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Balance

19th January 2013:
This story brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad that I found it, it was so moving. I loved how the old quidditch team was reunited, it was just so sad to see one of them go. I thought this was written beautifully, and the characters were pefect and true to JK. I need to read something light hearted to cheer me up after, this being so sad and moving! Kiana :)

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Review #2, by SexyDoorFrames Balance

16th August 2010:
I loved the beginning line. And the ending line is also very true. Both lines really struck a cord with me. Just perfect. I love the little hints of Angelina/George as well. It was beautiful. I actually adored this. It was real sad, and you got the emotion through perfectly. It was truly a heart breaking one shot. Just perfection.

10/10

- SexyDoorFrames.

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Review #3, by the midnight avenger Balance

11th January 2010:
oh.mygosh. I really...like WOW. there's not much else to say. you have me in tears! That is probably the most powerful fanfic I have ever read and I applaud you to no end for being able to write something like that. you must be one incredible HP fan if you love the characters enough to be able to write something this moving. The flashback was perfect, no matter how sad it was. I know I sound really cheesey but this is seriously an amazing story and you have got SKILLS. I bow to you.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks ever so much! It means a lot to get such great compliments ^_^
Thanks for taking the time to leave a review! :)


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Review #4, by brunetteweasley Balance

9th September 2009:
I loved the way you portrayed Fred and Angelina's relationship, but also the relationship between the brother's themselves. It really felt that you really captured the essence of Fred and George.

Author's Response: Thank you ever so much! I think that's one of the best compliments to recieve :)

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Review #5, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Balance

26th July 2009:
Hi there, it's lllb from the forums, I'm sorry for the delayed review, but I had no internet access for a few weeks.

I really liked this; I thought it portrayed accurate scenes that were missing from DH, and you wrote the grief for Fred very nicely. I thought it was a little odd that Lee, Oliver, Alicia, the twins, etc. would make such a big fuss over staying together or splitting up; you'd think that the battle wouldn't have allowed them to have a choice over where they ran. Sure, they could give each other a helping hand, but it would be more likely that the Death Eaters would gradually force them apart anyway, or isolate one who would then go run for cover. It wasn't a huge thing, just something I noticed.

The dialogue was nice, it flowed well and moved the story along well, however, a little description could've contributed more to the story. You could describe the chaos of the battle, the eerie calm of the Great Hall, the devastation of the grounds.

Overall, this was very good. I liked how Fred and Angelina obviously had something going on, surely if he'd lived they would've gone out. The last part, where George was so devastated, was perfectly written and I nearly got teary reading his lines. Nice work!

~lllb

Author's Response: Hey! It's quite alright, things like that happen (:

Thank you for your comments! Yes, now you've mentioned it I do see why there perhaps wouldn't have been such a discussion as to whether they stuck together or not. I'll definitely take that into account if I'm ever writing an action/battle sequence again :)

Yeah, I guess my description was a little lacking, wasn't it :/ I guess I was just more focused on the characters that I kind of side-lined the descriptive aspect.

Again, thanks very much! It's a lovely compliment to me when people get 'teary' over my writing (:

Thanks ever so much for taking the time to review; I really appreciate it :)


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Review #6, by Apostophe Balance

22nd July 2009:
Oh, this is wonderful. You've captured both George and Angelina's sadness really well, and I applaud you. Very, very nice. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very, very much! I'm glad you think so, as that's what I was really hoping to achieve.
Thanks so much for taking the time to review! :)


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Review #7, by Rettopyrrah Balance

17th July 2009:
:o

... :'(

dude, crying.
holy flaming cows.

this is amazing. i love that the quidditch team was pretty much reunited at the end. loved the interaction between angelina and fred. and your finishing paragraph was brilliant. usually people would finish by saying things like 'i'm sure he'll be fine over time', but that's bull because we know he won't be fine over time.

10/10

adding to faves :) they have a new friend to play with now. YAY! for Balance... something i don't actually have.

Oh, lookies. starting to ramble. shall nip that in the bud before it blossoms ;]

Author's Response: Thanks ever so much for the review!

Yeah, I felt it wouldn't be right to end on an overly positive note because, as you said, George would never really be fine.

And favourites? Wow, thank you :) I'm glad you liked it, and thanks ever so much for taking the time to review!


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Review #8, by cheerio015 Balance

17th July 2009:
Aw, I hated this part in the book..and I am crying right now! Well written, but ugh I hate crying lol
10/10 no questions asked
Man I wish I could see George cry, so vulnerable, I could be the one to hold him and comfort him..haha..oh the Weasley twins ;)

Author's Response: Sorry for making you cry! But I'm glad you liked it (:
Yes, I have a soft spot for the Weasley twins too :)
Thanks very much for reviewing!


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Review #9, by Dark_One Balance

10th July 2009:
I know you wanted an honest opinion, but this truly is mine: I have not read a published book that good, let alone a HPFF story, in quite a while. You have moved me to tears, quite an achievement! Besides the feeling behind the story, you have also nailed the structure and form. The dialogue moves nicely with just the right about of description and the characterisations are very good. You have made the reader really feel like they are in the story and they can easily and quickly connect with the other characters. Well done!
10
Dark_One

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so very, very much for the compliments! You\\\'ve made my day.
I\\\'m very glad you enjoyed it and found nothing wrong. Thanks so much for taking the time to review! :)


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Review #10, by PrincessPadfoot Balance

9th July 2009:
Wow. This was unbelievably good in conveying the emotions George and his friends must have felt when Fred died. This surely conveyed the emotions I felt, when Fred, my favorite and most beloved character, died. You did an outstanding job. The only part that I didnít like was that it was that it was in 1st person. But thatís just my personal preference.



Author's Response: Thanks SO much. I\\\'m very glad you found the emotions to be relatable and believable. :)
I did contemplate writing this in third person, so sorry to you that I changed my mind :P

Thanks ever so much for taking the time to review, and I\\\'m glad you liked it!


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Review #11, by SayaEvange Balance

6th July 2009:
Oh my! That was amazing! Honestly, it's one of the best stories I've read! You did a great job! You really brought out the emotion and I even started to tear up! Which is really saying something because it takes a lot for a story to do that, especially a oneshot. As for the flow and dialogue I found nothing wrong. The story went along at just the right pace. This really brought up some memories of my own that's how amazing it was.

Great job! I'd love to read more of your work!

10/10

Author's Response: Wow, thank you ever so much!
Your comments/compliments really mean a lot to me, because I was really working on the emotions and the dialogue. :)

Thanks for reviewing, and I\\\'m really happy you liked it :)


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Review #12, by Frogprincess Balance

30th June 2009:
This is really good! It is very emotional, and well written, great job!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! ^_^

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Review #13, by Alopex Balance

25th June 2009:
I really liked hearing from Angelina! I think I've only read one other story from her POV before, and I can't even remember what it was about. At the beginning, her thoughts seemed a little bit cold and stilted - it just didn't work great in the first person. Then again, she was in shock. Anyway, I thought her voice improved as the story went along and as you got into the groove of writing her.

You did have something in your story that I almost always dislike seeing, no matter when or where: a huge italicized portion. It was necessary to set off the flashback, I know. But I personally dislike seeing half the chapter being taken up in a flashback. The reason I usually don't like it is because it creates two very different and usually seperate parts in a chapter. In multi-chapter stories, these flashbacks can often be worked in differently, although I realize you don't have that option with a one-shot. However, rearranging the events in this story could probably eliminate the need to write the majority of this as a flashback. For me as a reader, having a big separation of time and space (and sometimes tense) is jarring, which is why I don't like to see humongous flashbacks. I'm not saying your story or the flow of it is bad, because I'm aware that the italicized-flashback thing is a personal preference issue with me.

Ok, enough complaining about the structure, because I think the actual events were very interesting. The piece was highly charged with emotion, and not only because you were writing about very emotional, tragic, and scary events. The tension came through in your writing, I thought. I could practically feel my stress levels elevating as I was reading this, but I mean that in a good way! Writing about the battle and Fred's death and doing them justice is difficult (I'm not sure how I'd handle it), and I think your approach, while not perfect, was respectful and realistic.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review, I really appreciate all of your comments :)

Yes, there isn't enough Angelina around in my opinion, either (: You're probably right about the start. I'll have to go back and look at it and see what I can to to make it work a little better.

Ah, those flashbacks. I can see where you're coming from, as I know a lot of people dislike flashbacks in stories.
I did contemplate writing the flashback as the first half of the one-shot, but I just couldn't figure out quite how to jump from where it finished to Angelina being in the Great Hall. But yes, as you say, it is mainly down to personal preference and I appreciate where you're coming from, most definitely. :)

Thank goodness you thought the emotion was one of the strong points, as that is what I really wanted to get across.

Thanks ever so much again for taking the time to R&R, I really do appreciate it! :)


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Review #14, by dream_me_a_dream Balance

25th June 2009:
hi, tessae from the forums!

so sad! :-( but really good. that was the hardest part for me to read in the books, where the people died. I really don't have any critisism to offer, thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Well thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it (:
Thanks for taking the time to review!


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Review #15, by Illuminate Balance

25th June 2009:
:D This is brilliant. Desperately sad, but brilliant. The characters are very, very good. Your Fred is great and I like your spin on Angelina. Your descriptions of grief are so true to life and I think this oneshot is beautiful. Well done.

10/10.

Author's Response: Thank you ever so much! The characters and the grief are what I really wanted to get as near to perfect as I could, so your comments made my day :)

Thanks for taking the time to review!


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Review #16, by confusedlover Balance

24th June 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that you did an amazing job with this little one-shot. it was very sweet and depressing at the same time. although, so many death stories are this one seemed to be especially because it dealt with Fred and George. those stories always prove to be the saddest and the sweetest of all.

as for being a perfectionist, i do think that it really paid off in this story. i found not errors whatsoever and thought that you did an amazing job with making sure that your characterization and plot fit together in just the perfect way.

overall, i thought that you did a wonderful job with this story. it turned out to be exactly the perfect length and your flow and transition worked in its favor. nice job on this. good luck with your writing, dear.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

I've never been compelled to write about a DH death apart from Fred's, mainly because his death affected so many people. Especially George.

I'm glad there weren't any errors, and I'm very happy you though my flow and characterisations were good! :D

Thanks again for taking the time to review. :)


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Review #17, by pwcapone Balance

24th June 2009:
A nice look at the characters who don't get a lot of time in Deathly Hallows who played a big part in the Weasley twins lives. Good work.

Author's Response: Thank you :) That was one of the reasons I wrote this - the characters like Angelina and Oliver had the potential to be fascinating, but JKR unfortunately over-looked them a little.
Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by Pretty Purple Pelican Balance

24th June 2009:
Hey there! PPP from the Forums! Thank you for reading my rules :)

Oh, my Lord. I just spent half the story thinking that George was the narrator. NOW it makes sense, hah. The story is really quite lovely. At the very beginning, I was afraid it was starting to go into the pithole of "constantly dark and depressing" which no human truly ever is, but you kept it realistic with a beautiful light of hope somewhere in there. I mean, granted he's just died so they're all really upset, but you've shown somehow that they will be okay one day. That's the only thing that really makes the grief easier to read (and your wonderful writing skillz). Thank you so much for requesting me! :)

Author's Response: Hello. And it's the least I could do :)

Ah, I can see why you might have been a little confused at the beginning, haha.

Thank you (: I really didn't want it to just scream "depression" all the way through, which is why I wrote the final scene the way I did. I'm glad you picked up on it (:

Thanks so much for your comments, and you're quite welcome. 'Twas my pleasure :)


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Review #19, by Lunnah Balance

24th June 2009:
Hi there!

GREAT one-shot. I was so glad to see that you posted a Fred story, as he is my favorite. Fred's death definitely got to me after reading DH...it was definitely the hardest for me and it absolutly broke my heart.

This story made me tear up! The imagery was so vivid and numbing real. I particularly liked the initial description of the battle scene and the character interactions. Was this meant to hint at Angelina's known future of marrying George? I like how she had sort of hidden feelings for Fred; I like to write relationships that way myself. It adds complexity and I think you pulled it off beautifully for such a short piece.

I was distracted a little bit during the flashback because their discussion ended up reminding me of a time-out during a Quidditch match rather than an out-of-breath strategic plan. I liked the dialogue and the way the characters connected (and I liked the aspect of them all working as a team just like Quidditch) but I would like to have felt the danger a bit more. I know they were hiding behind a wall but they still seemed to be taking their time. Its not a huge problem, its just the only thing plot-wise that I noticed.

I thought it was very inventive of you to use first person; I haven't really read a lot of those. I didn't see anything major grammar-wise except for a few choppy sentences. I know most of them were for effect but some of them could have flowed better if combined with a semicolon. That isn't necessary though.

I know you've been told this, but I wanted to agree that it would lead wonderfully into a novel. The delicate Fred/Angelina romance post-Fred's death is incredibly interesting and not often explored. I think you should consider it or build off of it in a new story :-)

Overall, great job! I really enjoyed reading it and it sent chills down my spine. Great job capturing the emotions of Fred's death--his story needs to be told.

Thanks for requesting! I'd love to read some more of your work!

~Hannah

Author's Response: Thank you ever so much for your review!

Thank you very much for the compliments. I'm glad you liked the character interactions and the subtleties of the Fred/Angelina relationship. Characters and their relationships are what I really try to work on, so I'm happy you picked up on that :)

Now that you've mentioned it, I do see what you mean about that section. If I get the time I will go back to that and make the danger seem more present. Thank you for pointing that out to me! And thanks for the tip about the sentence thing. I do have a tendancy to go a little overboard.

So many people have told me that it would be a good idea to expand this that I am seriously thinking about it now, so I shall give you a heads up if it happens :)

Again, thank you very much for your review; it's been very beneficial. When I post more I'll be sure to come back to you :D


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Review #20, by Wierdy Balance

23rd June 2009:
Powerful. Really, I have tears, and that's HARD. I didn't even cry when Fred died in DH. This would be a brilliant opener for a Novella or Novel, but its a one-shot. I just can't see it being done, personally.

Other than plot you did well with the chapter flow, and the characterizations.

I have to give you a ten. :]

Alex

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review :) And tears? I'm happy and feeling sorry for you all at the same time :P

There are a lot of people commenting on the length of this piece, so maybe I will get round to making it longer one day.

Again, thanks so much for the comments!


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Review #21, by mollie jay Balance

23rd June 2009:
well you nearly got me crying wow that was amazing!!! write more quickly!

Author's Response: Thanks ever so much for the review and the compliments :) And I shall try to write more pretty soon *fingers crossed*

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Review #22, by californialove Balance

23rd June 2009:
Oh my God.

This just tore me up inside. I almost didn't finish it. Like I wanted to stop at the end of the flashback. GOSH! It makes me want to cover my face and start crying. It's just that flashback between Angelina and Fred, I thought was beautiful and because we knows what happens, it like makes it worse and unbearable to read!

But this story was amazing. There aren't many Fred/Angelina out there and I'm so happy you put this out there!!!

adding it to my favs

8/10

Author's Response: Thanks ever so much for your review, I really appreciated it (:

To be honest, I was kind of hoping to evoke that kind of reaction in people, so I'm sort of glad you felt that way when reading it :P

I've always liked Angelina and Fred as a couple, so I enjoyed writing that flashback. And yes, there should be more Fred/Angelina stories out there!

Thanks again for the review, and for the favourite, too! :)


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Review #23, by nana_banana_xx3 Balance

23rd June 2009:
Hey you :) It's good to see you posting again!

I think Fred's death caused me to cry the most when I read DH. It was just so sudden and so devastating. You did a fantastic job portraying that heartbreak here. I think someone else has already mentioned this, but I'd love to see you expand this - make it longer, etc. What you have in brilliant, but you could make it even better, for sure!

The strongest part of this piece, imo, is the dialogue. You can feel the relationships between the characters, who really come alive, btw. That's a tough thing to do, but you accomplish it effortlessly! Great work. :) I can't wait to see what else you have up your sleeve in the future!

Lots of love,
Hannah

Author's Response: Yes, I'm back :) It's nice to see your name still around here aswell.

Yeah, Fred's death was the one in DH that upset me most. I always enjoyed his character, and his death really made me feel for George and the rest of the family.

Thank goodness someone has complimented the dialogue! That's the thing I work most on when I'm writing, I think, because I hate to read clunky, clumsy dialogue that just doesn't feel right.

Thanks so much for your review! I'll have to pop back to your author's page and see what you've been up to :)


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Review #24, by RonsGirlFriday Balance

23rd June 2009:
Oh, my god, how heartbreaking! I thought you did a wonderful job with this!! It's so moving and evocative. Especially the interaction between George and Angelina at the end -- that's what really broke me down. When George said, "I want to wake up," I almost started crying. I thought you did a wonderful job of capturing fear and grief and pain.

I really loved how you brought the whole Quidditch team into it -- they were such good friends, and I loved the image of them fighting together, promising to stick together. I thought it added a whole new level of depth to this, too, rather than just having Angelina randomly spotting Fred's body.

The last line was brilliant, I thought -- there's a lot of debate about whether Angelina ever felt something for Fred, and how she came to marry George, but the way you wrote the last line, even someone who thinks Angelina loved Fred can understand how she came to stay in his brother's life. The bit about her helping George to stand seemed like a very solidifying moment for them, and I can see how after this moment they wouldn't want to leave each other's side.

Normally I don't like super-long flashbacks, but I thought yours worked here, because you needed to show the ending before the beginning, and all of these events happened close in time anyway.

I honestly can't think of any criticism at the moment. You should definitely be proud of this!

Author's Response: Thank you SO much!

I find the relationship between George and Angelina quite fascinating, which was one of the reasons I wanted to write this. I'm glad you thought that the way I wrote the interaction between the two of them was a convincing scenario. :)

Yes, the Quidditch team! Though we didn't ever find out a lot about them, I found their relationships and the dynamics between them very interesting, and I thought it only natural that they would all be together for the final battle.

Again, thanks ever so much for taking the time to leave a review. It really put a smile on my face. :)


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Review #25, by elisalinguine_x Balance

23rd June 2009:
Hey, it's Elisa from the forums.

Good one-shot. I really liked it because it's very different from all the others and kind of unique. My only criticism would be the legth. This one-shot has definitely the potential of being longer and even an actual story. You could add more description, more paragraphs about Angelina's thoughts and maybe even a fighting scene.

Other than that it's great. Well done!
7/10

Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review :)

I do agree with you on the length thing. To be honest the only reason it is the length it is, is that I was having a complete mental block on what to include, but your suggestions are grand, so thank you.

Again, thanks for the review!


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