Tears. The tears. They won't stop!
I find this one-shot a bitter-sweet story. Sweet because James and Lily were back as a couple again and they could've had a second child and bitter because...well we all know what happens in the end of a James/Lily story: they get blasted with Avada Kedavra.
The way you wrote this story was very interesting. I'd like to think of this story as a 'brief' (but not so brief) summary of James and Lily's time together.
Overall, this story is a bit of a tear-jerker for eh soft-hearted people (including me) but I'm glad I found it.
CloakAuror9 xxAuthor's Response: Thank you very much, once again for such a lovely review. That's essentially how a wrote the story - a summary - but I also wanted it to have a kind of detached, dream like feel. I wanted it to almost be frustrating because you never get close to Lily and James - a reflection of their feelings.
Anyway! Thank you very much and Merry Christmas! xx Report Review
aww ... it was kind of depressing, but good, brilliantly written, nevertheless. :D
although the way Lily and James were described was horribly, awfully depressing. (I know, it`s redundant. sorry for that.)Author's Response: thanks for the review anyway! Report Review
That is so sad that they had to die when Lily was pregnant!! wow didn't see that one coming. It sucks how they didn't get to do much in the years that theywere about to dieAuthor's Response: Hey :) Out of all the people who've reviewed this I think you're the first to say something about Lily being pregnant. I'm glad you did, cause I liked that detail. Hahah, thanks so much. Report Review
Hey, Leslie from TGS here for to review! I really enjoyed reading this. You did a great job with really bringing out both James's and Lily's voices in the writing. I felt as though I was listening to them tell their story. Great job! 10/10Author's Response: Hey Leslie :)
Thanks so much for coming to review! Glad you liked it. Report Review
Absolutely stunning. Honestly. I loved the whole thing. The writing was fantastic. The idea was original and amazing. The execution...flawless. I loved it. It made me think and really made me sad. It didn't follow the normal "Yay! We're married! Yay! We're happy even if there's a war!" type story and that made it even better. Seriously. 20/10. Definitely coming back to reread this one.Author's Response: Oh gosh, wow :)
Thank you so much. Those are some huge compliments there! Thank you. Report Review
Laura. Law N Government.
The tears are streaming down my cheeks, my glasses which I never wear are now smudged from me trying to rub them away and I summon you by Spoon is softly playing in the backround.
I don't even know what to say. But I sent you an email. This was so emotional. So meaningful. I think I like it better than you know who's because it's a Lily and James. Now I want to write one. I am so inspired by this you wrote. It looks like so much fun to write. It's so emotional.
Gosh, I'm still crying. Now it's Memories and Dust playing. Kevin just imed me too. Wooh. Nawt.
anyway. I love this piece of writing. I think this is my favorite thing you have ever written and shown me. Your writing is so beautiful. You definitely need to publish something like this one day. I love your style of writing and everything. And I love you!Author's Response: Hey there Rach :)
Aw, thank you so much dearie! I\\\'m glad yu liked it. I\\\'m sorry I can\\\'t be online. The computer is driving me nuts. It\\\'s an ancient box!
love you, girl! Report Review
His pain was like a private exclusive club, a club with only one member. - loved that. :)
I quite enjoyed this, and the style of it worked wonderfully, I thought. I also thought the little conversations between James and Lily worked well, too :)
Nice piece. You should be happy with it.
JessicaAuthor's Response: Thank you! Thanks for picking out that line :) I love it when people do that :) Report Review
that was a really good take on lily/jamesAuthor's Response: THANKS SO MUCH! Report Review
wow, i loved it i always love lilly and james fanfic it almost made me cry a littleAuthor's Response: Loved it :) Thank you!!! Report Review
wow i really loved that!!! it totally captured another side to their rrelationship. Here are a couple lines that stood out to me:
How much damage had been done to our lives, merely by living through these times? How much damage would be done to the baby by being born into it?
It was sort of inevitable, I supposed after a while. If we had never died Harry James Potter could never have been so brilliant.
10/10Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for picking out those lines :) I love it when people do that.
Thank you! Report Review
I really like it. It's a new angle on their relationship, and I really like the writing style. I can't really explain it, it just seems much more real. Well done =)Author's Response: Thank you very much! :) Thanks for your compliments. Report Review
This is amazing. I loved how you structured it, changing point of view rapidly and mixing in the dialogue. It was so moving and heart-wrenching, and made me go through so many emotions.
It's also very unique, because most people like thinking about and writing James and Lily as a blissfully happy couple -- and while I confess myself to be one of those people, I do appreciate fics like this, where you bring out the fact that there were sad times, and hurtful times, and that their own relationship must have been strained as a result of everything going on around them.
Your writing is really lovely, and you have a great way with words. There were a lot of quotes I liked, but this one really stood out to me:
"Rain poured down outside and I fancied, for a moment, that the outside world was crying for the fate of our child. I know I was."
That line was sad and expressive, and it was also ironic, since at that moment James didn't know Voldemort was going to come after Harry specifically -- he just thought it was a crappy world to bring a child into.
This is so excellent -- I'm glad I found it!
10/10Author's Response: Amazing? Well, thank you!
Blissfully happy :) Hehe, that's sort of why I wrote it. I always wondered why James and Lily got together, and I thought it was silly that they'd always be perfectly happy after they were. You know? Haha.
Thank you so much! I love it when people pick up on little things like that. It's things like that that I enjoy writing the most, so it's always a pleasure when someone else appreciates them too :)
x Laura Report Review
great fic u have here. i like how u write their points of view on their last year of life or at least i think it is their last year in hiding. keep up the good work please.^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: Why thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
Hehe, I'll try to keep up the good work :) Report Review
wow. this made me cry. i love reading little things like this, because it reminds us that no matter how many people can write stories about lily and james' lives, it'll always end the same way- they'll die. kudos to you in finding a way to make a simple story like this have so much depth :)Author's Response: It made you cry? Oh gosh. Hehe, sorry :)
Thank you so much. Report Review
that was tragic in a really nice way... I mean its sad, but much more realistic then most are... but it was depressing they didnt love each other at pointsAuthor's Response: Thank you!!! I'm glad you liked it :) Report Review
Oh my god!!! It's hard to describe what this piece means to me. It's utterly amazing! It just goes to show how much changes in war and what it can do to even the most confident and talented people.
It almost made me cry the way they were around each other but you wrote amazingly!! I liked picture bit. Even then it was like Sirius wouldn't be forgotten so he kissed Remus!
This is something to be proud of! It's so powerful and the emotions are described so clearly. It's one the best pieces I've read since I joined HPFF!
Well Done and I can't wait to read another story by you!!!
10/10Author's Response: Gee, thank you so much. This review is so lovely! Aw, I'm so pleased it meant something to you.
Thank you so much!!! Report Review
You SHOULD be proud of that. I thought it was wonderful. I loved how each segment was only short, and the alternating of the person narrating worked well - it didn't get as confusing as I thought it might (except one bit which I'll address later!)
I haven't read a Lily/James in a while. I saw that you'd written this from the squee topic on TGS and I'm glad I read it. The dialogue was interspersed (sp?) really well throughout - it felt right when you put it in. I really liked the repetition of some parts too, it was great.
So the bit I got confused about was the 'Did you miss it' section because I'm not too sure who is asking who, (I assume it was Lily asking James but it wasn't too clear) and the line 'Would you prefer this over that?' really confused me. I think the wording is a little strange which made me step back and think 'I'm not too sure about that.'
That is my only criticism though. I love the structure and the story of it. I think Lily/James on the rocks is a good idea and I really enjoyed reading this.
Wonderful :)Author's Response: Rachelle/Rachel! :) Hey!
Oh gosh, thank you so much. I was so excited about posting it. Thank you!
I'll go back and look at that. I think I know the part you're talking about.
Thank you so much!
x Laura Report Review
You have no idea how much this piece means to me now. War can tear families, friends, and lovers apart. Sometimes, the love we have for others isn't enough, but one small event can change everything. I was so close to tears towards the end. I loved the part when James asked why Lily doesn't smile anymore. To me at least, this is entirely believable. Lily and James had a lot of difference and they loved each other like crazy, but one has to believe that they went through some rough times in their marriage and, ugh, I don't even have any words to describe this piece. It's ruddy brilliant, amazing, riveting, glorious. This is one of the best one-shots I've read in a long while, maybe ever. It was simply written, but so beautiful. I really don't know what else to say but wow...
~LunariaAuthor's Response: Oh... gosh :)
Well, thank you so much. YOU have no idea how much that means to ME. Honestly, thank you so, so much. I was really interested in writing that dynamic between Lily and James. I'm so HAPPY you liked it :)
x Laura Report Review
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