I did not like it.
I did not hate it, no.
I loved it!
It was very cute, I really really think you did a fantastic job :)Author's Response: Haha, thank you! I had a great time writing this, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review! :D Report Review
Hi! Jellyman from TGS, here with your review :)
I have to start this off with the minuscule critique I had for this. In terms of editing, I think this needs expanding. I think there could be things added, just to make the story a little more full. By sort of tying it up very quickly, it gives the story a passive sort of feel - it happens to me a lot, and I find it helps if the story is expanded :) Anyway, only slight problem I had with this as it is, was the dialogue. It seemed a little too formal - I think it would help to go over the dialogue a bit and read it out loud. That way, you can decide whether or not you'd actually say this to someone.
Okay, enough of the negative! The positives outweigh them vastly :D Your characterizations are fantastic! I know you said that they weren't your concern, and I can totally see why. You have Ron and Hermione down pat. One point I have to add for this - and I apologize in advance for being a canon Nazi, the only reason I know this is because I'm writing my own post-epilogue Hermione fic - is that Hermione actually joined the Ministry after she graduated. Sorry! I know how annoying it is, I just mentioned it because you seem to be sticking to canon with everything else.
They had discussed it previously, and they both agreed it was probably for the best; fainting in the room while the MediWitches were trying to do their job wouldn't be helpful to anyone.
I thought this like was particularly good. I can totally see Ron in my head, shuddering at the thought of watching something be born, haha.
On the whole, well done! I thought this was very sweet, it was a little glimpse into their life after DH and before the Epilogue. The little arguments and comments were sweet and I really enjoyed this. Thanks for requesting!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I appreciate it!
Yeah, I think I've got to edit for passiveness. I wrote another one-shot after this and it was a lot shorter but a lot better in wording. Maybe that'll help some. I guess I felt a bit restricted by sticking to the lyrics to extend it on either end. Hm. I'll try to work on that and check up on the dialogue. I speak quite formally, so that tends to be a bit of an issue. Heh.
Yeah, I know Hermione went into the Ministry, but I thought it would fit that section a bit more if she was in Mungos... I'm not quite sure why, I just went with my gut. I'm really pleased that she came across so well though, because I have so much trouble writing her. On the other hand, I can get Ron's lines and actions out in the snap of a finger.
Thanks again for the review! I'll be taking this all into consideration when I finally get to editing :] Report Review
I like it i love it. good job ur a great writer and ur beta is amazing i couldnt find anything, cant wait for more from you .
:):):):):):):):)Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review! I'm glad that you enjoyed it and hopefully you'll feel the same about any others you read! Thanks again! Report Review
Hey Jill. I'm here, just like I promised! I thought it was time I read something of yours, considering that you follow my two biggest projects at the moment. :D
I don't usually read Ron/Hermione stories, but I thought I'd take a chance on this because I like the song. And you wrote them absolutely adorably! Ron is such a cute guy, and I love how you made them argue for a bit before coming to the realization that they were on the same page. It seems like something they'd do. I loved the little details you threw in, too, like how Hermione was working so hard even while pregnant and how Ron shouted at the people on the Knight Bus. It really makes your characters come alive. =]
The pace was kinda quick here, but seeing as this is a oneshot songfic, it's not like you had much choice in the matter.
Sorry that I'm not as good at long, extensive reviews as you are, but I enjoyed this very much so I'm going to go find something else of yours to read! =]
~GabbyAuthor's Response: Gabby! I'm glad you stopped by! I appreciate the unexpected reviews :D
I LOVE THIS SONG haha, Lifehouse is one of my favorite bands! I'm glad you like it too! And I'm glad you gave it a chance, then enjoyed it! Ron is one of my favorite characters, only following the twins, so I'm so pleased to hear that I wrote him well. I seem to get him pretty well, dunno how that works out as I'm way too emotional.. haha. Yayyy! Living characters!
Thanks so much for the review! They don't have to be long and gushy haha, that's just the way I am. As I said above, overemotional ;]. I'm just glad you took the time to read and review! It seems like no one reviews on this one much, so thanks again! :D Report Review
Aww, this was great! It gave me so many fluffy feelings inside!
I loved when Ron asked her to marry him, it was so heartfelt and adorable. And I loved the way he asked it, it was totally perfect for Ron :P
So great! I favourited :)
SO CUTE, I can't stop smiling! :D
Great story, so well written!
:)Author's Response: WOW, I'm so sorry it took me ages to reply! But thank you!! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it, especially enough to favorite it! :D
Thanks so much for reviewing! It means a lot :D Report Review
I think it's so very sweet.
Instead of writing a whole story, you've summoned the whole relationship up in a few scenes, which pretty much tells it all. No need to read all those small things in between. I really like that.
And it's our typical Hermione and Ron too. Stuborn and both have a hard time talking to each other about what happened, which of course is the reason they didn't get together right at once.
The lyrics, I think, is very sweet. I haven't ever heard the song, but I do think they're fitting. And they've been put in in the right places - making small partings in between the scenes.
I especially like your start. You show how it's takena toll on him - and her - and how they act differently with it.
I think the flash-back-italics part was well done! Spot on and not too emotional. Some tend to overdo these situations, but you hit the correct dose of it.
And the same with the proposal. Ron wouldn't pour all of his heart out, and he didn't. He thinks she's wonderful and he's glad out their times, but that's it. Great Ron with the emotional range of a teaspoon - though a little more sensitive ;)
And Hermione... Always try to be strong, but sometimes fail, and when she does, it's not possible to miss out on it. Just like what we've seen in the books - your characters are believeable.
Though I do love this, I can't help but stop and wonder what exactly was your focus on this story? I mean, the proposal, and the birth... Most stories need something which is the centre, but I think you missed out on this. If you'd let the story continue till they died, I could have seen it as a thing going all the way through their life, but I don't. I miss some kind of focus - Does that make any sense?
But besides that, I think it was a very sweet story and it's a delight to read something where they don't fight and have all kinds of trouble. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you! I\\\'m glad you thought so.
You know, I was getting fairly sick of reading stories where Ron and Hermione (whether or not they\\\'re the main characters) were always fighting. I mean, we all know it happens, so the amount of times I\\\'ve see it in fics has kind of annoyed me. Therefore I chose to ignore all that :] But yeah, I had to make sure that they were both still in character, therefore the ignoring and avoiding :]
Ohhh I love this song, it\\\'s by one of my favourite bands. I\\\'d definitely suggest listening to it ;] And the credit for work on the lyrics goes to HogwartsGirl618, who beta\\\'d this. I had two stanzas lumped together at only two or three different intervals; the way she put them in works MUCH better.
Ron is definitely one of the easiest characters for me to write. I\\\'m not exactly sure why, but every time I sit down to work on something with him in it, the words just free-flow from my fingers. On the other hand, Hermione is one of the most difficult for me, so I\\\'m really glad that she came over well.
I guess there wasn\\\'t a particular focus... just Ron\\\'s perspective on a few different days in his life... how things come full circle in his complete love for Hermione. It ends when Rose is born because that\\\'s when his heart is split between the two of them; there\\\'s still room to love his wife, but it\\\'s not as much as before because he also has so much love for his daughter. I hope that makes sense... haha.
Thank you so much for the kind words! I really appreciate them! :D
Hai, I'm Malia from TGS, here with your review.
--Characterization: You did wonderfully. I couldn't have imagined a better Hermione or Ron. I feel that you simply made them who they were and added on to that. You did a wonderful job, and I quite liked reading Ron's lines :]
--Believability/Flow: I think that you could have taken things much slower. I do feel that the pace you had was okay, but to make it seem more believable, taking things slower would have worked better ^_^ BUT, I do love your last sentence. It made me smile.
--Overall: This was a pretty nice one-shot :P Nice and canon, believable, and just loveable characters. You did a wonderful job, hon!
9/10Author's Response: Ahhh thank you! I'm glad to hear it! I'm always so worried about characterization... everyone just loves them so much I'd be devastated if I got them wrong. Especially Hermione... I'm always so afraid to write her, I'm ESPECIALLY happy you liked her here.
And this was a one-shot, so I did rush things a bit.. I just tried to skip the time, hoping it wouldn't really hurt the story too much. That last sentence seems to be going over really well! I'm glad.
Thanks so very much for your lovely review! :D Report Review
Hey, I'm Eyriana from TGS. :) This is such a sweet story. I can easily get bored of Ron/Hermione stories, just because there are so MANY, but this is very good! I like how simply and imperfectly everything happens... the beginning of their relationship is sweet, but not clichéd. The same with the proposal. I like the dialogue... it's realistic. And the ending is so simple and not overdone. I don't really have any constructive criticism. I love everything! It's so sweet. (I know I keep using that word :P) I love it. :)
BlaireAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad to hear that! This story's had more reads in the first day than any of my other ones, so I'm so pleased to get some feedback on it!
I'm so so so so happy that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the lovely review! And no concrit?! Amazing.
Thanks again! :D Report Review
First thing first: Thank you for taking up my challenge and making a great fic out of it!
Now, I am the first to say that Ron/Hermione is not my favorite couple due to the fact that I don't like Ron. But, I can honestly say that you have moved me to like them a little in fanfiction. I love the way you portrayed Ron. I loved how there were no arguments between him and Hermione. It was all just pure fluff and stuff. Ha, that rhymed!
Anyway, I think it was absolutely sweet how he asked Hermione to marry him and it was very blunt, just how Ron is. This was my favorite line: 'The wails of the infant in the background were the sweetest music to ever reach his ears.' It was just how a new father would feel and was the perfect ending to the story.
All in all, you have a great story here. The song fit in perfectly and the characterization was flawless. Great job!
-Reyes91Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so so so so so much! I honestly did a dance and squealed throughout the time it took me to read this review, as well as a bit after :]
You know, Ron and Hermione argue A LOT in JKR's novels, so why include it here? I felt like it was really unnecessary, especially as it was alluded to, I'm glad to see that you included that here. There is so much more to this relationship than that. Ron is really bad at portraying his emotions, but there's nothing wrong with that... if you take that in stride it's just how he is, and personally I see it as an endearing quality. Though his temper does put me off a bit ;]
I'm glad you thought the characterizations were so well done. It brings me so much relief to hear that! And I don't know where that sentence came from... guess I just thought about seeing my goddaughter for the first time and tried to put that into what I know about parenting.
Thank you so much for the lovely review! I really appreciate it and your lovely compliments. Fantastic challenge! :D Report Review
Hey Jill! =)
First- this is an awesome one-shot. You are the characterization queen. The situations you create are all so fitting to the characters, and you carry their personas into the dialogue.
"I love you Hermione, and I was wondering if you would marry me?" BEST Ron proposal. I jumped up and down like a maniac. =) Very, very fitting for his character. In vernacular. Brilliant.
The way you convey emotion, and how the characters build walls around them and others tear them down- you really get a sense of the way they interact. When Ron finds Hermione, and she tries to rebuff him- then she tries to defend her actions only to realize she was wrong- SO well-written.
The way you moved in time was completely clear- a lot of one shots can be confusing, but I think the reader is really able to follow the sequence in the order you presented it. He sees her in the garden, rewinds to earlier that day, then it moves forward.
I'm not a big Ron/Hermione shipper, but the way you wrote this gave me many a warm fuzzy =) Ron is quite a humorous character, isn't he? ;-) And you wrote Hermione in a very pure form; she was really true to her character. She's independent, determined.
And it was the cutest thing that Ron wasn't able to go in the room. And the last line made me smile =)
Lovely, lovely one-shot! It's going in my favorites =D
And I love the song! Your writing is always so amazing! *sends hugs*
< x : - ) SarahAuthor's Response: Sarah, your reviews always make me smile like a fool. You're so kind and thank you so very very much. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this!! And favorited?! Wow! Thank you! I'm touched.
I'm SO glad I got Hermione in this... she really is the most difficult for me to write. And... I don't even know what to say. I appreciate everything you did for this story! You're really so wonderful. Thank you again! :D Report Review
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