Reading Reviews for All I Have Left
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jchrissy All I Have Left

15th August 2012:
I feel so sad for Rowena. I couldn't image being in her situation, poor girl. I think your imagery in this is wonderful, it's more emotional than physical, but I think that really makes the piece stronger.

I am learning that I have a soft spot for founders fics! Anyway, I do think that more of Loren's motivation on why he wants Rowena so and why he's taking this to the extreme would be good. Like, did he spend his entire life loving her? Could he not stand anyone saying no to him, and that's what fueled his need to posses her? But, I also may have just really liked this and am now sneakily trying to get you to write more of it *blushing*!

I think you handled the King and Queen very well, they were diplomatic yet clearly loving parents. And the Tiara... already ruining lives, it seems.

Loved this one shot, darling! You are really making want to like D/H so I can read Rule Breaker!!!

Author's Response: Hi Jami!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this! I'm really glad that you liked the story. I've never been sure of my Founders' skills, so this is the only Founders story I've ever read. To sort of explain Loren better: you got it right on your second guess. He hated that she rejected him and he didn't want to take no for an answer. I'll make that clearer when I edit it. :] And if I ever write more Founders stuff, I'll let you know, haha. For now, it's not planned, but if I ever get an awesome idea, I'll definitely tell you. Thank you again for reviewing this! I really appreciate it. :D

Also, you don't have to love Dramione to read "Rule Breaker"! It's really non-cliche and I've heard that it MAKES people like Dramione, haha. Maybe it could do that for you. ;] But really, you don't have to read it if you don't want to. That's absolutely fine. :]

Thanks again for your review!

--Emily


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Review #2, by Remus All I Have Left

6th September 2011:
Hey! Its Perelandra from the forums with your review!

For a short one chapter fic, this is good. However, it felt like it still needed more. You have way too many one liners. There's not enough description and a lot of dialogue. There's just not enough description for a one shot because you're telling your entire story in one go. Also, this being a period piece, you have to keep in mind the "ideas" they had back then. As in Rowena would not be left alone for one minute for being the crown princess. Also, back then she would "save" herself for marriage otherwise...well, not a good outcome. However, I can see why you did it that way if you were going to kill her future husband. He would also not be allowed in her quarters though, unless they were properly married.

Grammar, you're fine with it as I did not see any issues.

Plot wise, a bit predictable but I enjoyed that you explored Ravenclaw's life before Hogwarts. However...now I'm curious as to why she left the "Royal Life" to help build a school. Or how her daughter handled the royal life.

Anyway, this was a good one shot with minor issues!

Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch for this review! I'm definitely going to take your advice into account and change some things up. It's so hard to get feedback on Founders era stories, and I'm really happy you read this. It was written for one of the staff challenges, so it was a difficult endeavor. I'll change some things up a bit, though.

The reason her world was more lax, it seems, than a normal princess's would be was actually her relationship with her parents--they gave her more leeway because of the way they got along. I'll have to explain that better.

Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #3, by MidnightBlue_x All I Have Left

26th August 2011:
Hey There, I'm filling the review you requested from me :)

I think you did really well considering this was your first Founders story, the only thing I would suggest is to make their speech a little more period accurate. I know it's hard, but I would suggest getting a quick beta who could help you fix that up in a flash otherwise it was really well written :D I love Erik, and how you've written him. I hope this review was helpful in someway.

Thank you for requesting,

x Ely

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you think I did fairly well. I'll check out the style and see what I can improve. Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #4, by loonylovegood All I Have Left

29th November 2010:
Very good. But it is so sad!
Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it, but yes... it did have to be sad. :/ I'm sorry. But thank you so much for your feedback; I really appreciate it. Have a great night!

--DracoFerret11


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Review #5, by milk_honey All I Have Left

25th September 2009:
Really nice, even though it was only about one founder. It is great that we don't know much of the 4 founders. One can give them very different backgrounds. Good luck on your future writing!

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks so much for reading this! Not many people read the Founders Era... :P But you did! And you reviewed! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the story. :D I appreciate your feedback.

--DracoFerret11


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Review #6, by confusedlover All I Have Left

13th August 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that you did a beautiful job on this piece. i have read a few Founder's stories- not too many but enough- and thought that this was an amazing take on Rowena's life. your descriptions were simply amazing as was your flow and i am very impressed with your take and imagination.

you were definitely period accurate for this and for that i am simply astounded. most of the time writers do not bother with things like that but i could see that you were really very driven and for that i congratulate you. you didn't write this halfway; you wrote the whole thing as it should be written and that is a wonderful thing that you should be very proud of.

your OC was very nicely written. he didn't really have a lot of development throughout the story but i could definitely tell that he was somewhat developed when you added him into the story and that was the way to go with a story like this. he seemed to fit the personality of a man betrothed to a beautiful princess and so i have absolutely no complaints with that either. he seemed to be very well written and that is something that i honestly can't get enough of in a story.

overall, i thought that this was a wonderful little one-shot with a very unexpected and depressing end. as soon as Hemlock challenged Erik to a duel though i knew that something was going to go unbelievably wrong. wonderful job. i am very impressed. once again, feel free to come back to my thread anytime you wish.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

I loved this, it made my day. :]

I'm so glad that you could find so many things to compliment. :D

Thank you so, so much!

I really appreciate it.

--Emily


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Review #7, by Aisu Hoshino All I Have Left

2nd August 2009:
This was a really beautiful story. It was very well-written and heartbreaking.

My only criticism on the writing is the use of italics. Italics make sense for quick flashbacks, but when the flashback is the dominant part of the story (as it is here), it can be rather unnecessary/distracting. Other than that, the writing was very great.

I think you did well with the time period. The only big criticism I have here is that you didn't tell how Rowena handled her pregnancy - although pregnancy out of wedlock has always happened, it has not always been accepted. Considering that you have Rowena as royalty, chances are she would have had to get married promptly for a cover-up. Really, you've made a good set-up for a longer Founders piece here.

Other than that I think you handled it wonderfully. I could easily see the speech and mannerisms fitting the time period, and I really did love this story. I love the era and the emotion of this, and you did do a great job.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing for me!

Since this is the second time someone has disliked the italics, I'm going to go change them. :]

I loved your feedback and found it extremely helpful, I'll probably edit the story and include something about how she feels about being pregnant: which was actually that she was scared but happy.

I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. Thanks again!

--Emily


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Review #8, by Alopex All I Have Left

22nd July 2009:
I really enjoyed this story! It was exciting, gripping, tense. It really drew me in. Of course, the moment that I read Erik had been challenged to a duel, I knew what the sad outcome would be, but the duel nevertheless was exciting. The whole thing was a very enjoyable read. Gripping, as I said.

I do wish the story hadn't been written in italics. They are more difficult to read than ordinary type. I know it was a flashback of sorts, but almost everything was italicized. If you thought a separation was necessary (I don't), a * or horizontal break could have demarcated the final few lines and first few.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! :D

I'm so glad that you liked it; your compliments mean a lot to me.

I'll definitely reconsider the italics! :]

Thanks again.

--Emily


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Review #9, by Pookha All I Have Left

22nd June 2009:
I really enjoyed reading this story. You move the action along admirably and it clearly shows why the diadem was dear to Rowena.

I particularly liked the duel. I thought that was very much how an adult duel would go. Lots of non-verbal spells and the action being hard to follow. In the canon books, we actually see this with DD and VM duelling.

I like the out of wedlock pregnancy. People like to pretend it didn't happen in those days, but it was still quite common, just hidden.

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for reviewing!

This really and truly brightened my day.

I'm so glad that you could find specific points of the story to comment on and I'm glad that you thought I did well.

I was really worried about this when I embarked on writing it because it's quite a challenge to write for the Founders Era.

Thanks so much for all of your compliments and comments; I appreciate them tremendously. :]

--Emily


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Review #10, by fanaticalfictionfan All I Have Left

11th June 2009:
amazing! i luv it! write more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!

I'm so glad that you liked it! :D

--DF11


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Review #11, by Aashna All I Have Left

11th June 2009:
Hi DracoFerret 11
Awesome piece of writing from the founder's era. I myself am quite fond of reading stories from that time genre but rarely i found stories based on it as good as yours. Coming to it, it was amazin to read it, u used very enriching vocabulary, precise language and more importantly the thoughts were very lucid, without beating around the bush. I felt bad for Rowena, the way u wrote Eric's death was again a magnificent toying of words. Really gr8 job with the chappie! I intend to read more from u. Well done!
-Aashna
PS: Would u please b kind enough to comment on my new story in the form of a review ofcourse. I would just like to know ur thoughts abt it. It is called 'Forever As One'.

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for this review! :D

I love that you found so many things that you liked in it.

Your compliments made my day. :]

Thanks so much!

I'll go check out your story. :]

--Emily


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