I love Dom as a mute.
It always annoys me when poeple make her really obnoxious and mean.
I don't normally like scorp/Dom fics,becuase I'm a big scorose shipper, but I love your stories and how you go for the couples that people wouldn't normally write about.
Your a brilliant writer. Report Review
why is it i always end up in tears when i read your stories? :D i have really enjoyed this fic so far and i can't wait to see what comes next!!! Report Review
wow omg i am in love with your writing.
Its so amazingly poeticAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! :D Report Review
So, as much as I love this style of writing, I actually found the description in this chapter to make the scene a bit confusing. I really loved the beginning with the colours and the flashbacks, it was a great introduction and a good way to set the scene. However, when you showed Julietta actually breaking off the engagement with Scorpius I felt like it would have benefited if you had held back on the description a bit then, because as lovely as the words were, I found myself feeling a bit dazed and confused. Perhaps its just me, or the fact that it's late at night, but I'm sure you'll take this CC in the best possible way as you know how much I love this fic!
Julietta was very in character in this chapter. In her blunt, selfish way. She never wants to say things that are hard for her, but she loves Scorpius. I like her character because she's interesting, but I hate her! She's a fickle girl. The fact that she allowed her aunt to pressure her into using her best friend is really horrible.
And poor Scorpius, he's such a mess and he just forgives her because he doesn't have the heart to change his ways now.
The characters in this story are all so beautiful and unique and exciting, they are so lovely to read. It's a very different fanfic, and I think you should be proud of that ^_^
Looking forward to the next update! Thank you for posting.
~ Helena Report Review
Wow. Simply... wow. She left him.
This, I have to say, explains a lot of her rudeness in the earlier chapters, though I do feel bad for Scorpius. :/
This was a beautiful chapter. You captured the heartbreak well, and I could feel Julietta's sadness as well as Scorpius' loss. And I loved how you compared her to Juliet and then Rosaline--very poetic, and very beautiful.
As per usual, a fantastic chapter. (:
-Jasmine Report Review
Beautiful. Really, truly beautiful.Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! ^_^ Report Review
I was so sad for Scorpius when Julietta told him they couldn't get married. Although I know it's a part of the path to Dominique and Scorpius relationship, he looked at her with such adoration and I feel like she's trampled on his heart. So sad. I cannot wait to see what happens! ^^Author's Response: Yeah, but it had to happen. :( I was a bit saddened too, since Scorpius loves Julietta so much. She did trample on his heart, but things, as they are prone to do, do get better eventually. ^___^ Thanks so much for reviewing! :D
- Celeste Report Review
I think it's good that you didn't rush this scene, that would've taken away the significance. It's an odd break-up, all calm, but it suits the story and the characters..
good luck with the next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you very much! Yeah, I was considering adding more to it, but I wanted it to be important on its own. That and it was really late at night. XD
Thanks again for reviewing! =D Report Review
Oh Celeste! You really didn't have to, but ♥ ♥
This was a my absolute favourite chapter yet. Since I wouldn't be me without having to nitpick before I can squee (and I will squee) - the only single thing I can complain about is your description of pink. Since cherry/wine are both traditionally associated with red that threw me out of my trance-like rapture to consider colour - intentional? Diabolical plan?
Anyway apart from that very very minor thing - my goodness this was a pivotal chapter, and you are right, it does need to stand alone.
Wow. Honestly, just wow. It was so emotional because of the personalities you've built up in the previous chapters. Literature is mostly derivative and at the bones of 'sensitive young man jilted by girl forced into marriage by circumstances' is done to death, yet you breathed life into it, and made it your own by the wonderful characterisation you've created with Julietta and Scor (appreciate the Rosaline reference btw!)
Looking over it, it can't have been easy to write, but (apart from the pink cherry :P) it's absolutely effortless to read and I enjoyed it start to finish!Author's Response: Oh, Jo, but I did have to! ;) It's about time I wrote something for you!
It was indeed intentional! It's part of my diabolical plan to write such strange descriptions that people have to stop and stare! Now, I shall explain it to you! I didn't actually use pink to describe a cherry or wine. The pink referring to the sour blush is the small areas of the cherry where light glistens off to make it pink. Which...may or may not make sense if you're not me. XD The wine - "bruised rim of a wineglass" - refers to the rim after you tip the glass over to take a drink. Some of the filmy liquid is still left over near the rim. So...yeah. My description is...really strange. All kinds of odd, but I'd like to say it's unorthodox! ^_^
- squishes - I'm glad you liked that weird Romeo/Juliet stuff; personally, I'm not fond of the play, but the similarities in name were just too much to let go!
Well...I wrote it at two in the morning. It was definitely difficult to write, but TSOS is usually like that. X_X
Thank you for reviewing and for the continuous support! Report Review
"A few moments passed like that and he thought that they looked like a painting. She leaning by the tree, her cheeks caught in a flush, her skin the color of honey at twilight. He, his hands in his robe pockets, his hair tousled, willing himself not to look at her. There would be red like bow-shaped lips of a rose’s edge and blue like ephemeral streams of time and they could be forever frozen together."
I really like all the metaphors and imagery you use. It really makes the story a lot more interesting and they put a smile on my face. I'm kind of glad that they aren't getting married anymore. They're not good for each other anyways :)
Good chapter and I can't wait for more. Update soon!Author's Response: Aww, you're so lovely. :) Honestly, to have a reviewer like you who follows every chapter of this story (and Rainwater, too!), is so, so amazing to have. Thank you for your kindness and for reviewing. It makes my day to see! Report Review
Yay Scorpius and Dominique have met!
I love this cafe so much. When I read this story, it plays out in my head kind of like an old romance movie. I can see this dusty dark cafe so well in my mind.
Dominique and Scorpius are so sweet. Their characters are just perfect for each other and I can't wait for their relationship to develop.
More beautiful writing and phrases. I would quote my favourite parts back to you, but I'd end up quoting the whole thing haha.
The rain is so lovely. I loved the setting of this scene. It added to the atmosphere.
The only thing I did notice is that Roxanne is a squib, but then she apparates home which doesn't make any sense. That's the only thing I noticed that was wrong.
I really enjoyed this chapter, keep writing and please update as soon as you can because I love this story a lot and I'm a whiny impatient child haha!
Thank you for posting!
~ TallestTowerAuthor's Response: Thank you for reviewing all the chapters of this! I'm always in awe when I have such faithful reviewers and it always makes my day to see! =D
And you're a Scorminique fan as well! Double win!
I really like setting in the rain as well! I'm not sure why - maybe it's the whole redemption symbolism, but it really works for both their characters and how broken they are.
As soon as I saw this review, I ran off and fixed it! You're really an observant reviewer - none of my other reviewers noticed! My mistake, sorry. :-) It was late at night when I was writing this. XD
Thank you so, so much for reviewing, Helena!
- Celeste Report Review
Ahh now we learn of Dominique! I think a main character who is mute is very interesting. I like the swirls of mystery that are interlaced in this story. I'm interested to see what disease she has. I was a bit confused in the part when it says "Why she would be not going to Hogwarts" does that reffer to Dominique not going to Hogwarts or Roxanne not going to Hogwarts?
Once again, everything was wonderful. I think some changed sentance structure might add to it a bit, so that it does not become too repetitive. I could see all of this so well, and I am so in love with the characters.
Rose is that horrible cousin we all have. The funny thing about family is everybody loves each other but nobody really likes each other. I suppose that's true with the Weasleys.
This story just proves to me that Scorpius/Dominique is the best ship. Your writing is so lovely, I'm enjoying it very much. Thank you for posting! :)
~ TallestTower Report Review
Another beautiful chapter. I like the way you style your sentances. I'm finding your writing quite inspiring actually, it makes me want to write something new.
But right now all I want to do is read your excellent story and right yet another rambling review which isn't good enough for your story but I don't really know how to express how much I love your writing.
The dialogue is wonderful and realistic. The characterizations are so believable I feel like I've known these people since birth. The words, the people and the settings are all beautiful. Everything about this is beautiful.
Urrgh! I'm at a loss for words. Try and describe how your favourite song is and then you'll understand! :)
I just love this so so much, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Please keep writing! Thank you for posting.
~ TallestTower Report Review
Yay a Dominique/Scorpius Novella! This is my favourite next gen ship, and unfortunately there is just not enough of it around. I've read some of your things before and I loved them, so I don't understand why I haven't read this before. But here I am now, so that doesn't matter.
Wow, this is beautiful. I don't really want to write this review because I can't write what I want to say about how wonderful this is, but it would be unfair to not review simply because it's TOO good.
The description, as always, is breath taking. I can see this so vividly. This chapter reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. Juliette and Scorpius are so real, and you conjure up their characters in just a few words.
In those first few opening paragraphs, you describe a life time. I feel like I already know Scorpius' character so well, and that I don't know Juliette at all - which is the type of person she is, I feel.
The plot has already sucked me in.
Beautifully written, the flow and phrases and everything is perfect. I don't really know what to say other than I loved it!
~ TallestTower Report Review
I love this, your description is some of the best I have seen! My only criticism is that the plot is a bit too slow and I think it can be confusing at times because of how much description there is and how slow the pace is. Its like a one-shot thats been split into multiple chapters. Sometimes the description goes a bit too far to. I think in parts it could be toned down a bit as it really takes away pace and progression from the story, which are both very important. But not that that's an issue, just something to work on in the future. I really do love this story, its very original!!
Great work and update soon!! :DAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing!
Wow, it's kind of refreshing to see some constructive criticism for this story. XD The pace is definitely slow at this point as all the basic premises and foundations of the story have been laid. The next chapter delves right into the main conflict of the story, but before then, I really wanted to make sure everybody was extremely familiar with the characters.
Too often in Next Gen I find that the faceless characters such as Roxanne are almost ignored, while more popular characters such as Dominique, Rose, and Scorpius are very generically characterized. I went slowly because I wanted to disprove that from the foundation itself. The descriptive style of this story is not how I normally write, but it serves to put a more whimsical atmosphere to it - something more literary and unique.
Either way, I don't mean to sound defensive of my work. I both welcome and adore criticism - it helps writers grow. So, I will keep your suggestions in mind for the future! And I'm glad that you're enjoying the story!
Thanks for reviewing! ^_^
- Celeste Report Review
Firstly, this is going to be shorrrt! I find it very hard to constructively review writing that I've favourited and been reading and am in love with, so you won't be getting any of that at all.
I'd actually say this was lighter in language than previous chapters. Perhaps it's this switch in your sentence structure that I keep pointing out, the simplification of it, I don't know, but it definitely reads absolutely beautifully, simply - probably more so than previous chapters.
Everyone, to me, was perfectly in character. I think those two first sections especially, focusing on Roxanne, Scorpius and Dominique helped really clarify who they are, built on what we already know and sets them up for the rest of the story. All of the fleeting but important mentions of their relationships with their families were done wonderfully.
Oh, I need to stop sounding so formal. You know how much I adore this, lovely. It's absolutely divine and I could quote so many lines for the sheer beauty of them but I'd be quoting so much that it'd render the review pointless.
xxAuthor's Response: Forgive me for such a late response! T_T You're so kind to review me and I respond so late!
Ha, is it really? I think it might be because I wrote it when I was pretty stressed out/had no real time to write. As a writer, I think I'm growing more...and learning to write in a way that is more compact, but (hopefully) doesn't lose too much of the effect.
Thank you for your advice on this! In retrospect, making Dominique the one who snapped would've altered the Scor/Dom relationship in a way that it really shouldn't have been. I hope the mentions of their family were subtle. I don't want to give too much away. XD
Eeek, thank you! Your reviews are my favorite to receive and the fact that you've stuck with this useless little thing for so long is just amazing! :D
- Celeste Report Review
I'm particularly enthralled with your writing style and I'm going to have to create an account just to favourite this story.
TSOS is so... beautifully written, it's kind of the epitome of breathtaking, and it's tranquility at its finest.
I hope you update soon. ♥Author's Response: This is such a lovely review to receive. Really, I can't thank you enough for the kind encouragement.
I'm stunned and pleased you're enjoying it so far. Thank you for the support - it means the world. :)
I will definitely update soon! I'm starting the new chapter today or tomorrow! ^_^
Wow, you can write! this is one of the best-written stories I've read on this site! actually, I'd say you're probably second only to match. but it's a close call!
'that had swirled when she could still speak, when Teddy had loved Victoire.'
I love that you keep bringing that up, it's such a beautiful line, so sad as well
this story is very different from all the others as well, because most every romance story on here is either dark/horror and full of abuse or really over the top happy. I like that this one is neither, it's just sort of melancholy. oh and before I forget I also like the way you start the chapters, so at first you don't know who you're reading about. it makes it a bit mysterious, or interesting..
well anyway, great story I'll keep reading for sure!Author's Response: Wow, thank you! I'm totally speechless! I'm definitely not anywhere near the best author on this site - do check out GubraithianFire, Romina Stephanie, and Elesphyl. They are authors who are far, far superior in skill to me!
Many romances do turn out that way, don't they? :/ I'm hoping this one will stay very different and stick to the melancholy tone you mentioned.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for your kind words! :) I'll be sure to update soon! ^_^
This is one of the most beautifully-written stories I have ever read. You've completely sucked me in with the language; you could have the most tired plot ever (I promise you, though, your plot is about as amazing as the language) and I'd still be a fan, waiting (im)patiently for the next chapters.
Your phrasing, your gentle way with words that explains so much while being so, so rewarding to read, is exquisite. This is a beautiful, lyrical story, and I adore it.
I love Dominique. I want to know more about her, why she's mute, but I have a feeling that'll be revealed later.
And I love her inside turmoil, how she's so quiet but she longs to be able to have her own voice again.
Agh. It's absolutely, heart-breakingly beautiful.
This is a magnificent story. Adding to my favorites; this may well be my very favorite story on here.
I'm checking out more of your stories. You've hooked me.
Patiently awaiting your next chapter. (:
-JasmineAuthor's Response: I apologize for the really late response to this!
Wow, thank you so, so much! Really, it means a lot that you enjoyed this little story to this extent.
I...am not sure how to respond to the rest of this, though I can assure this is not, by any means, magnificent. I just write for the pleasure of it, but to receive reviews like this...is completely mindblowing. It makes me want to leap ten feet into the air in some kind of victory dance.
Really, thank you so much for reviewing. This has made my day. :) Report Review
Oh, they finally meet, or at the very least they are finally introduced one to another officially. I guess that's a good thing though their meeting was caused by Juliette's tardiness, well sort of. So anyway,thank you for the update! :)Author's Response: Yes, let's just say it's definitely a good thing that Julietta was tardy! ;) I'm glad I got their official meeting out of their way! And no, thank you for reading and reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
I love your style of writing so much. And, after reading this chapter, I'm now officially jealous (:
I'm so glad that Dominique and Scorpius finally (officially) met. I've been curious about this pairing for awhile, but the other stories featuring them that I've read seem to be a bit cliche and bland. This one adds a new, inspiring twist, and I'm absolutely addicted. I love your descriptions, and the way that you characterize everyone...it's just so poetic, and you really seem in touch with their personalities and who they are.
Keep up the amazinggg work! (:Author's Response: Haha, there's not really much to be jealous about, trust me!
Yes, I'm excited it about it too! I've really been looking forward to writing them together as a shipping! And wow, thank you so much! This pairing's woefully underwritten, I think, and I do wish more people would try it out. If you like this pairing, allow me to recommend 'White Houses' by Margravine and 'Vienna Skies' by GubraithianFire, which both feature it and are absolutely stunning.
Thanks so much for reviewing! :D I'll try to update soon! ^_^ Report Review
Oh Celeste ♥
I forgot what a sensory experience it is to read your work. You really, truly, are brilliant! You conjure such a vivid experience of smell and sound, of colour, and it's not that you simply describe, because it's on a whole other level; your characterisation and your sheer poetry- aka simple, beautiful little lines like
She was the rose who thought herself thornless. Her name was Roxanne and she was Dominique and they were mirrors and shadows and all the things that could have been free, caught between beginning to want and wanting to begin. are just stunning. There were many other lines I loved loved, but that was the stand out for me.
I also think you got the balance right in this one, the danger with your style is that you run the risk of suffocating your prose in description, but it was all very natural here. Beautiful job my dear!Author's Response: JO! Long time no see!
You are so lovely for taking the time to review this, even though we all know you're enormously busy. So, thank you! Ã¢Â™Â¥
Weirdly enough, this was one chapter that I thought was actually semi-decent (the first being the only one that I can actually reread without cringing), so yay! :D You liked it! Really, you're so, so kind!
Also, I realized that there was a TSOS thread in TGS under the novella discussions. I never got to thank you properly for what you wrote there, so I'm being lazy and thanking you in a review response. Seriously, you have no idea how red I went after reading that. I was grinning like a baboon. :P It was, by far, one of the biggest compliments I have ever, ever received. You have no idea how much it meant. Thank you so much! ^^ Report Review
I've already read this but I'm still going to give you a review anyway because TSOS is to die for! *hugs*
I love the Dominique/Scorpius interaction in this chapter (which has been long waited for and totally worth it) because it's so natural and realistic. I think what I love the most is your characterization of Roxanne, Dom, and Scorpius in this chapter-- it's really well built and I can picture the characters well in my head.
=D Update soon, Celeste!
JasalineAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks for coming back and reviewing! I'm still really behind on reviewing your stories, so it means the world that you come back anyway.
DOM/SCORP FTW. Also, I don't really know how to give you a proper response as it's you and I'd just feel silly. XD
Thank you for coming back and I WILL be updating soon! ^___^ Report Review
I really like the metaphors used in this story. Not a lot of stories do that unless they're one-shots and, obviously, this one isn't a one-shot. This story is like really good so far and I can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: I was pretty worried when I first wrote this because it was just so odd for the time. Like you said, it's really more of a one-shot style, which I find easiest to write. Thanks for reviewing all the chapters! I love, love, love such faithful readers and reviewers! =D Report Review
Yay! Awesome chapter hun, I've missed reading your stories. I can't wait for the next one! :DAuthor's Response: Yay - thanks so much! :D I'm so glad you liked it! And I haven't seen you around in a while, so it's lovely to see you reviewing! (It really does mean a lot - you were one of the first readers, I think.) I hope you're back updating as well! ^___^
Thanks again! Report Review
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