AH AH HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? Ok, not to me, but you know. I can't like this, sorry. Not because it's not a good story but because the very thought of James cheating on Lily makes me want to scream...very loudly. My James (which I don't own him, more's the pity) wouldn't-COULD NEVER NEVER do that.
Maybe I wouldn't be having such a fit if you hadn't made it so believable. But, you know, it is.
I actually feel sorry for Theresa, with the part of me that doesn't hate her. Ok, I feel sorry for Theresa at the end and nowhere else. At least you made it end ok.
I THINK it's a good story. Even if it makes me want to scream and throw things. Or maybe because, that's a thought. :)Author's Response: Is it time now for an evil laughter? No, seriously, I hate myself for it. I'm a HUGE L/J shipper and it was so strange for me to write this, thinking of what I was doing.
And I think the only reason I could make it just a little believeable, was to tell me that it wasn't those persons. It wasn't James I was writing about, but some other person, and that makes it easier... But how can you hate Theresa? Hadn't it been for her James would have left Lily (in this story at least).
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I really can't see James cheating on Lily, ever. I mean, the way you wrote it it seemed believable, but I just don't see them cheating on each other, no matter what happens. Breaking up, but never cheating. It's an interesting concept.
~LilyFireAuthor's Response: Me neither! But I myself wanted to read something different once, and found close to none James/OC, so I wanted to write one. I believe no relationship is perfect, but this I don't believe in either. Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
Nice! Dramatic and definetly pulled me in, I was like "oh no he didnt!" Haha. Love your work.
:DAuthor's Response: Exactly what I was going for. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Lots of emotion in that, eh? Yes, I thought so too. Well done. I don't know this song, and therefore feel like I'm missing something, but the way you've introduced your character and slowly given her the strength to deny him was really wonderful. I honestly didn't expect her say no... in fact I think this could've gone on to be a full fledged novel if she hadn't. I don't mean that in a criticizing way; I really liked seeing this moment of courage for her where she does what's best overall, not what's best for herself. It's something that happens far too little in today's world.
I know that you had someone edit this, but there were still a fair few mistakes. Usually it wasn't spelling, but the tenses were really mixed up in a lot of places and I had a bit of a rough time understanding certain parts.
I really just can't get over the fact that she made him leave. You really built the emotions up so well that I didn't really think it possible. Such a decision was really fantastic!
I'm sorry there's not much concrit here, but other than grammar I really don't have anything to criticize! I loved this piece! :] Keep up the good work!
-JillAuthor's Response: I don\\\'t think not knowing this song is a problem. It was mainly just what inspired me and gave the name - though it\\\'s a very sweet song. Hmm. I\\\'ve actually been thinking about this, just with a prequel instead - my beta asked for more history on them than what I gave and it\\\'s been in my thoughts ever since. I wrote the end because, as you point out, is the emotionfilled and important part. But this started out as an end, maybe I\\\'ll finish it with a start...
I\\\'ll make sure to give it another read through soon.
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Pretty good for a short story. It was a good read.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
I hadn't realised I missed this Lily/James (thought not really, I guess...) one-shot. I think you did a fine job. Especially, since I know you love Lily and James so much. I understand, I love them too! It would be bloody difficult to write something that goes against that grain, no?
With that said, I think you did well with that. Being that it is something you'd never really written before.
I am glad Theresa stopped James at the end. Must keep the James/Lily in tacked ;]
Nice job, Vicki!Author's Response: Oh, it's rather new too :P Haha, during this, I had so many things to think about; their past, Lily, James' mind and Tess' bad conscience. Thank you. It means a lot that you think that! Of course - I'm a canon person and it would not have been right if James left Lily and baby Harry :P Thanks for the review! Report Review
Absolutely beautifully written
I like the odd L/J fic but to be honest my favourites are where someone is in the way because it so much more human than the perfect unfaliable love James and Lily are usally presented as having
A really good one shot =]Author's Response: Thanks! I actually agree. Things shouldn't always be so easy and perfect. That and then the fact that there's way too few J/OCs out there was what made me write this. Thanks for the review! Report Review
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