Reading Reviews for Once Defied
792 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Zsaz Decisions

8th July 2015:
I really enjoyed this, had great humor but also the seriousness of the war about to start :)

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Review #2, by jasmine Out in the Cold

26th June 2015:
three words... I LOVE IT

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Review #3, by BHRivers Decisions

19th August 2013:
Fantastic story - you definitely deserved the Dobby! My only niggle was with the Americanisms, but that's cus I'm a boring English person... You actually nailed the feel of the books and England. Looking forward to reading the sequel.

Author's Response: Thank you! Gah, hard as we North Americaners try (I'm Canadian), we can never sound as British as we like. I'm so happy to hear you think that I nailed the feel of the books--I don't think there's any bigger compliment. Oh, wait, maybe that I deserved the Dobby Award. :P

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Review #4, by Torrey Decisions

16th July 2013:
I LOVE this story! It is officially my favorite. It really stood apart for me because your writing style pulled me in as if this were just a prequel by J.K. I also loved the attention to detail and how spot on the facts were; this truly made it believable!

Author's Response: Wow, I'm so honoured that you think my writing sounds like JK Rowling's! That's an amazing compliment. Thanks again for reviewing. :)

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Review #5, by starryskies55 Lion and Serpent

15th July 2013:
Guess who's back back back, back again again again... that's right, it's time for another round of Jenny the hopelessly reliable reviewer who reviews stories from absolutely years ago (and it's like a year since I last reviewed, I remember I was living at home then, christ).

Okay. Onto the actual reviewing (by the way I skimread the earlier chapters and my earlier reviews so I mostly know what's going on, but please forgive me for any discrepancies). Right, well, you had me cackling like a mad thing about two paragraphs in at Sirius' commentary of the match. The match was really well written, this story in fact has inspired me to write a Marauders but it's a Quidditch centric one (and an AU but shush) SO it was super awesome to see how you did the Quidditch match. The Slytherin's tactic were sneaky. Damn those snakes! I was also very relieved when your little Seeker won the snitch, finally, and your Beater's right hook? GO GIRLFRIEND. I especially enjoyed McGonagall shouting at Sirius- I sincerely hope she doesn't ban him from commentating a match again.

Gotta say, love Ursula's tactics. Get James while he's tired or eating- he can't escape then. I use similar ones myself. Next thing you know, she'll have broken into his dorm. However, pleeease don't let Ursula manage to go on a date or something with James because he's not paying attention, I don't think my heart could cope with the feels. The rest of the Marauders were helpful as always, regarding girls- although it was a brilliant ending to that bit, Peter's line 'She's not Lily Evans' would have earned him at the very least a scathing remark from me if I had been there.

Oh I forgot Remus earlier. WHY ARE YOU TORTURING HIM, WHEN HE'S ALREADY FEELING SO BAD ABOUT HIMSELF?! I'm glad for him that he's wormed his way back into Mary's good books, and I feel bad for Mary because he's gonna break his heart again, even if she doesn't know it yet. Especially if she doesn't suspect it. (and that bit at the end with Mary and Lily- I shall come to that later).
And slightly linked to Remus- the werewolf register thing- well that ain't good. That kinda needs to be stopped. However, oh my god, the fact about the bill going into its second reading- its that kind of detail that most writer (published or not) just wouldn't think about including! Gah woman. It makes the whole story seem so much more well thought out and developed.
Of course, that can be said for the rest of the newspaper articles. Such a great way of reminding us (especially wayward readers like myself) about the horrible things that are going on in the wizarding world at the moment.

Lily's point of view, as always is so different to James that is almost magic. How can you write the same story in such different ways? The careers thing sounds interesting, I look forward to reading that. Lily is being annoying again, I gotta say, but that is mostly because I'm tired of her pigheadedness. KISS JAMES ALREADY, DAMMIT.
Okay. And Professor Dearborn. While I was skim reading, I reread my theory about his ultimate bad-man status, and this nice exchange where Lily is persuaded of his goodness- NOT BUYING IT, MATE. a) I don't think you would have brought up his shiftiness to just drop it again, and b) that could totally be his regret talking because he's spineless or c) he could just actually like Lily and wish her well, despite his general evilness. Or he's trying to throw her off the scent. Basically, what I have learned from this is I am very suspicious. "hang onto that courage" - not reassuring, that's menacing. (if it turns out I'm wrong about Dearborn, then I'm totally going to protest he still is evil and that he has a background not even you knew about ;) )

And then back to Remus and Mary. This review is mostly in order, I'm so proud of myself. Eek. Again, I'm in two minds about this, and I think that there is going to be a lot more heartbreak before this story is over. However, I'm a little happy that Mary is taking her own stand about Remus, and not caving to Lily, who quite frankly, should keep her nose out. I know she has good intentions... but Mary is a big girl and can make her own descisions, kay Lils?

Okay, so overall, this was a fantastic chapter, a wonderful read, brilliantly written, with amazing description, flawed characters (which is why they're so damn perfect) and I cannot wait to go onto the next chapter. I promise it won't be another year before I do!
Until next time! - Jenny.

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Review #6, by Amicus Decisions

2nd July 2013:
Loved it! One of the best Marauder era fics I've ever read and I'm a shameful/less marauder addict.

This is definitely my favorite portrayal of Lilly as I've always been perplexed by stories where she has legions of bezzies that JK has never got round to mentioning in canon. Your interpretation makes much more sense and demonstrates you can be a perfectly nice person without requiring an adoring horde.

I also enjoyed your Sirius I imagine him as taking a very, very, very long time to get used to the idea of James having someone he considers more important than the marauders and feeling quite betrayed by the idea, when he takes to Lilly it would be as an extension of James. James loves Lilly = Sirius loves Lilly even as far as James love Harry = Sirius loves Harry. Sirius as I picture him never loves anyone romantically but instead loves his friends with utter devotion.

It was also nice to see a story where Peter is just as much a character as the rest of the marauders (accepting the focus being Lilly and James) and being allowed to have a bit of fun with Sirius and show compassion, as demonstrated in your scene with the inferi and Remus.

Lilly and Snape's relationship was in my mind spot on as was her's and Petunia both sad but very real.

The only things I'd have liked to see more of is

The only issues I felt could have done with more exploring is I suspect James had probably bullied Snape since they both started school, although I have no real evidence for this, so maybe a non issue.
I'd have also liked to have seen a bit more interaction between Lilly and Remus as I can't remember Lilly ever commenting on finding out he was a werewolf to him or giving any reassurance that it was a non-issue it seemed to be all through James which to me felt slightly odd.

Overall though brilliant writing addictive characters and faultlessly in canon with just enough banter to prevent the romance becoming overpowering, planning to start reading the sequel ASAP.

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Review #7, by Moony_Lily A Future Far Beyond Christmas

27th April 2013:
I love your version of Sirius! How he's NOT chasing after everything with boobs that's an acceptable age. I get so tired of reading that Sirius over and over again! This story is pretty great thus far :) (Also koodos on how spectacular your grammar is. That's another thing that bugs me, is really bad grammar ;))

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Review #8, by Rainpixie Decisions

12th April 2013:
Holy wow. This is the BEST marauder/lily/James story I have read to date. Thank you.

Author's Response: That's awesome to hear! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it so much. :) Thank you again for reviewing!

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Review #9, by Rainpixie The Right Moment

12th April 2013:
Your vocabulary is delightful!

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #10, by Rainpixie Overconfidence

12th April 2013:
I have been searching and searching for a smart and well written James and lily story and I am so pleased to have finally found it!! Love!!

Author's Response: Hi Rainpixie! Thank you so much for taking the time to review (I realize it was ages ago, and I'm sorry for not replying to you sooner). I know that feeling of finding a James/Lily story you love, and I'm so glad that I could provide that for you. I've been thinking the last few days about whether I could pick up Twice Defied again...I'm still not sure, but at the very least, I wanted to thank you for your reviews!

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Review #11, by DancingMooncalf Back to Reality

20th January 2013:
I was just reading my last review back and I believe I accidently said it had many clichés. I meant the to say that it doesn't have them. That is what I like so much.

I think you did a wonderfull job with the date and all. It's lovely that you did not rush them into it, the tension leading up to the moment was very nice. The happiness that came afterwards was quite cute as well.
I loved it... and I sincerely hope those marauders won't get themselfs in to much trouble with their 'framing the Slytherins' plan.

Author's Response: No worries; I would have known what you meant. It's really great to hear that you don't think I've used too many cliches!

Back when I was posting this story, I definitely worried that I was building the James/Lily thing up too much, and I would disappoint people when it came to getting them together. I'm glad you didn't think this was the case.

Sorry again for taking so long to respond--I really appreciate the reviews1

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Review #12, by DancingMooncalf All Together

18th January 2013:
I think it's a good thing you say what you say in the author's note, I mean I sometimes think it's very anoying that people seem to keep trying to make Sirius fall in love.

I am still smitten on your story and I like the fact that it is not so adicting that it keeps me from sleeping and/or eating. It is possible to stop reading for a while, which is a good thing in my opinion (not that an adicting story is bad or something... don't get me wrong.)

Ayway, I love the way you write, not to much dramatics, but enough to keep it interesting and you yous seem to use to many clichés, which is very nice!
At some points you had me laughing, a thing I do appriciate when i'm reading a story.

I say this for the last few chapters, not only this one: I did a very nice job! Well done!


Author's Response: I knew I had to write that author's note. :) It's such a common thing in these stories for Sirius to have a fiery, love/hate relationship with one of Lily's friends that I knew everyone would immediately think that was what was going to happen with Anna. I didn't want to mislead anyone!

I'm glad I made you laugh--I'm often not sure if I'm very good at writing humour, so it's nice to be reassured!

Thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #13, by DancingMooncalf Just A Name

13th January 2013:
After 3 chapters of a story I almost always know if the story is something I want to read entirely or not. You could say it takes me 3 chapters to get hooked. And I got hooked halfway through the first chapter and by the second chapter I was all in it!

I love how you write it so netural. It's like it would really be this way. It's not overly dramatic or unrealistic.

You really have a talent so keep up the good work.


Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so flattered that you enjoyed the story that much. (Makes me feel terrible for not having finished the sequel, and for leaving your review unanswered for so long!)

I personally don't really like over-the-top drama, at least most of the time, so I tend to avoid writing it. I'm glad you like that, and don't find it boring, which I'm sure many readers would!

Thanks so much for reviewing!

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Review #14, by Grace The Great Divide

12th December 2012:
Great chapter! Just started reading and I like it already!

Author's Response: Thanks, Grace! I'm glad you liked the first chapter!

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Review #15, by Penny Power, Potions, and Professors

26th November 2012:
Enticed! Really enjoying it :) a quick review so I can carry on reading. Penny x

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the first chapters of the story. Like your name ;)

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Review #16, by Paige Decisions

23rd November 2012:
Loved it! You have really done Lily and James justice and you should feel proud of all your hard work. It's just so sad...thinking about the tragedy that ends the lives of these two wonderful people...

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It is very sad, but that is (unfortunately) what makes it so compelling.

I realize this response is pathetically late, but hopefully better late than never!

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Review #17, by StEpH_M Verbal Acrobatics

29th October 2012:
More Lily and her friends moments, I found it funny of Lily hit Anna after her remark about Lily fancying her brother, it is a nice show of the fiery side of Lily's personality that was mentioned a few times in Harry Potter series when adults mentioned Lily while reminiscing. I also like that she vanished Anna's head, that made me laugh and Anna's remark about it was amusing as well. I also laughed at the professor's way of punishing Sirius for his antics; it was rather amusing to see him jinx Sirius instead of giving him a detention.

Anna and Dess' relationship is interesting too, I wonder if it's a family love hate relationship, where no matter how much they say they hate each other they actually love each other, or whether they actually do hate each other.

It's also good that you started to bring in the events that are happening outside Hogwarts, the start of the events that bring around the first war. It's basically the start of Hogwarts not being safe anymore and I'm glad that you brought it in near the start, just going to show that their year didn't start out as a happy year at Hogwarts that most other stories have.

And Snape has his first appearance, I'm happy about that, I always like seeing Snape as he was in Hogwarts, not just the older man he is later in life. I always like seeing the way he tries to apologies for his stunt in 5th year and how he loves her and just wants to protect her, I always liked seeing that.

And a civil conversation with James, I sort of like it, and them holding hands! Even if it wasn't in a romantic way. It's unusual to see Lily not yell at James for holding her hand, but I think I prefer it over the other way, constant fighting gets boring, playful banter and civil conversation is much more interesting. I also liked that Lily knew about James's invisibility cloak and his response to it, calling her 'bighead' for it.

I almost forgot about Remus's wolfy problem and that the Marauders always went with him. It will be really interesting if there is a auror patrolling when they are out, it will make for good drama. :)

Again there were no flow issues and I didn't notice any gramma ones either. I really liked this chapter and the Slug Club. It was really good. :)

More reviews will be on there way shortly, just as soon as I get RL under control :) Again, Happy 2nd Anniversary!

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Review #18, by StEpH_M Just A Name

29th October 2012:
The fact that Lily isn't exactly overjoyed about being Head Girl is really good, I never thought of the Head positions being just a badly looked upon position, it's not something you would expect, when adults in the Harry Potter series talked of Head Boy and Girl it was with admiration and always saying they are proud if their child gets it. You never think that it actually might be some burden and people will hate you for it.

I like that Lily is sort of playing with James, the way she playfully hits him when he made a joke instead of yell at him. I also think the fact that she helps him with his head boy jobs is nice, even if she does lay all the club tasks on him, probably to get back at him for something. It that was really amusing actually, watching as James whined and Lily stood tall as she made him do all the club applications and she went off to work on her school work.

I also liked that you brought Anna and Mary into it again, even if it was for a little bit at least there was a little insight into her relationships with her friends and her personality.

There wasn't any issues of with flow or any gramma issues that I could see in this chapter, it was really well written and I enjoyed reading it. I really good chapter and I look forward to reading more as I go through your 2 Anniversary gift reviews. :)

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Review #19, by StEpH_M Power, Potions, and Professors

29th October 2012:
I really like how James is actually trying to do a good job at being Head Boy even though he has no idea what he is doing. It's rather amusing. I also like how James's parts aren't completely orientated around marauders and the little stunts they pull, it's always good to have some of that, but constantly having it can sort of get a bit dragging so I am glad that James's parts are refreshing and involve other aspects of his Hogwarts life.

I also like that Lily and James are being civil towards each other and that even with James' teasing Lily is still trying to refrain from yelling at him. It's good and I prefer it to the cliche. Also, the fact that the story is more orientated around James and Lily's time together instead of the ways that James tries to ask her out is really good as well.

Again the flow was good and nothing really disrupted it, which again is really good for a story that changing P.O.V a few times in a chapter. Most stories just a little when they change P.O.V but yours doesn't. Just a few gramma related things; '"For homework, please research the ingredients of Veritaserum, and provide detailed explanations of their origins and properties. I would like at least twelve inches inches, due by next class. You are dismissed."' You doubled up on inches here.

I really look forward to reading more although I do hope there is a bit more of Lily interacting with her friends, since we have seen more of James' then hers. Her friends seem interesting so I hope to see more of them. I also look forward to the Slug Club party cause they have always been very amusing parties. :)

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad that you enjoyed all the parts you mentioned! It's exciting when someone else enjoys the version of the story that makes sense to me, too. :)

Thank you for pointing out that issue with the grammar--I just went and fixed it! I always appreciate it when people let me know what the issues are, because with the length of this story, I'm bound to miss things.

Thanks again!

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Review #20, by StEpH_M The Great Divide

29th October 2012:
This is a really good start; I like the way that you brought Lily and James's point of views into the story from the very beginning, it means that through out it, there will be bother sides and individual personalities portrayed and not just one side that imagines what they other is thinking.

I also really like the way you slotted in the hat's song, with it's usual warning which sort of links to everything that will happen later. And that from the start of Lily and James's seventh year they aren't completely bickering and actually trying to get along, it's really refreshing compared to all the other Lily/James stories on the archive.

There were a few spelling mistakes, mostly missed letters nothing too serious. But otherwise there weren't any issues with flow; even with the switch of P.O.V there wasn't any bumps in the flow of the chapter.

I really like this chapter; it's a great lead in to the rest of the story, with laying down James and Lily's relationship and the introduction of both of their friends. It leaves more room for plot in the rest of the chapters instead of introductions.

I look forward to reading more and finding out how Lily and James got together :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for review, and I'm SO (so so so) sorry it's taken me this long to respond! As you probably noticed, I've been on a bit of a long hiatus. I'm really glad you like having both POVs--I certainly like writing both. And it's awesome to hear that there's something a little new and refreshing about my version of their story...there are so many of these stories that it's tough to carve out a little niche for yourself!

I have no expectation that you're reading this reply a year and a half after leaving the review, but hopefully I'm sending out some vibes of gratitude your way nonetheless! Thank you again for reviewing!

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Review #21, by Noturavggurl Out in the Cold

25th October 2012:
This chapter is not out of place, it's a good chapter. You
write very well.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I really appreciate the encouragement and the compliment! :)

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Review #22, by starryskies55 A Not-So-Sweet Halloween

30th September 2012:

I'm really sorry I haven't read/reviewed any more chapters until now, I have been ridiculously super busy! :( Now I'm making time where no actual time exists :P

I adored the bit at the start, about the differences between Muggle and wizarding Halloween, it was really nice to be reminded of the difference! And James and Lily... you stubborn morons, you! I badly need for them to get back together, you hear me?
I'm blaming James here too, not Lily. James is trying to give Lily some space to cool down and stuff, and Lily is just being pigheaded and stubborn! Role reversal, much? Gahhh, you make me mad :(

I also liked the little bit of pranking with the Slytherins :P You make the cliche bits of the maruader era seem not cliche, which is super awesome. It's also kind of cool that it's usually Peter who has the ideas against the Slytherins.

REMUS/MARY. Holy moley, why do you do this to me? :(
Not fair. I know Remus is doing the right thing (in his eyes at least) and James and Sirius and Peter know that too, but Mary can't understand why and this is horrible :( I thought that Remus' internal conflict was written amazingly (per usual) and I'm so sad for him! Although, as soon as the words 'Mary' and 'near the dungeons' were mentioned, my internal Slytherin/evilness radar was screaming!

I really hope everything gets better soon.. but I doubt it, somehow :P Another fantastic chapter! Also, I'm writing a marauders now, one that I've been wanting to write for aaages! So, thanks for giving me the push!

- Jenny

Author's Response: Oh, no, don't apologize! I totally understand being busy, and no rush at all. I definitely did miss your lovely reviews, but other commitments come first. :) I will be happy to receive your reviews whenever you have time (existing or otherwise)!

I hear you, don't worry. And they will, I promise! That's one of the great things about James/Lily--you never have to worry TOO much about them (as long as you ignore their eventual fates), because you know they'll end up together. They are both being very foolish, and as much as I'm sorry to make you mad...I'm also happy about it? :P If you weren't frustrated, I wouldn't have done a very good job writing this.

"You make the cliche bits of the maruader era seem not cliche, which is super awesome." - That line made my LIFE. Thank you.

I think at this point, I may need to invest in a shield, in case you decide to start throwing rotting vegetables at me. Remus and Mary are not in a very happy place, it's true, and...well, I shouldn't say anything more, because it'll spoil it! You must read on! (When you have time!) Mwahaha.

Well, like I said, everything will get better. Actually, SOME things will get better. That's more accurate. And I'm so happy to hear that you're writing your own Marauders story! I bet it will be great. :) At some point, I want to read it.

Thanks for another great review! I'm so happy that you're still enjoying the story.

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Review #23, by WeasleyTwins The Great Divide

23rd September 2012:
Hello! You were lovely to stop by and review something of mine and I've /finally/ had time to drop by a story of yours!

Can I just say that this is a breath of fresh air? I'll be honest with you and say that this is pretty close to perfect, if not completely so. I'll try not to ramble and be all fangirlish :P

First off, I'd like to applaud you on your characterization. It's so wonderfully in-line with canon, but you've made it your own - that make sense? Readers see the characteristics of James and Lily that JKR gives us in the series and you've honored them, yet expanded them into a full-fledged character. James is flawed, as we expect him to be, but he is maturing and growing as an individual - the chapter shows this so well through descriptions and dialogue. Lily - oh my holy Harry Potter - I LOVE your characterization of her. Many of the fanfictions I've read have made her out to be either extremely temperamental or sweet and perfect. You've created a character that is realistic and that's one of the greatest accomplishments as a writer. I honestly don't know what else to say to you or how to say it - I couldn't help but be completely entranced with your characters. I fell in love with them - their faults and anxieties and strengths and humanity.

Your dialogue is divine. DIVINE. It was like sinking your teeth into the most delicious piece of chocolate cake and then finding it had Oreos baked in. Seriously. It's absolutely commendable and makes me insanely jealous! The only thing I saw that was a bit wonky (to me, at least) was in the following sentence: "Madam Pomfrey is excellent at reversing the effects of any jinxes or hexes, so try and remember where it is unless you get hit by one." - Shouldn't that say "if" instead of "unless"? But other than that, it was pure genius. There are always those writers we love because of the descriptions or the dialogue, but I have to say, I think you're a writer of both - you've got both strengths going for you.

You know, there's about a hundred thousand other things I want to say to you, but this chapter has completely overwhelmed me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's so refreshing and almost comforting to read a story that has honored JKR and the series, but composed something all their own, something that seems new. If we knew nothing about James & Lily, this would still hold its own and that's such an accomplishment. Overall, I enjoyed this immensely - it definitely takes a spot on my favorites list! :)


Author's Response: Hi Shelby! Thank you so much for coming by to leave me a review. It was really nice of you!

And, um, OMG, all of your compliments just kind of put me into deer-in-the-headlights shock, because you're such a talented writer. Hearing you say "this is pretty close to perfect" is just like...amazing and will likely cause ME to ramble.

I'm so, so happy you like my characterization, and think it's in line with canon. :D I really did try to sit down and pinpoint the different aspects of their personalities that we see in canon, but at the same time, I didn't want to allow those to overly colour my characterizations. Too often, I think people take James or Lily's personality in "Snape's Worst Memory" and use it to characterize their every action and thought. James--I'm particularly glad that you like him, because he did give me some trouble at the start! Characters are what really fascinate me in writing, so it's always a thrill to hear that someone thinks I've done a good job with it. :D

AND DIALOGUE. I love dialogue. Can I just say, first, that I nearly keeled over when you said I do descriptions well? I ALWAYS feel like I struggle with description, so it's just the nicest thing to hear that you think I did well with it on this chapter. Dialogue, on the other hand, always comes more naturally to me and is more fun to write--it's even better when I get good feedback on it. :D (And yes, you're absolutely right about that line. Thanks for the heads-up!)

I'm just so happy and flattered that you liked the chapter. :) It's a huge compliment to hear that you think I've created a good balance between canon and my own interpretations. I know exactly that feeling you're describing; I've experienced it before, and knowing you feel that about this chapter is one of the best compliments I could receive!

Thank you again for the wonderful review! Much appreciated. :)

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Review #24, by starryskies55 Overconfidence

15th September 2012:
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? Oh, my last review, full of hopeful promise and feels, and then you tear it up and throw the pieces to the wind. I'm not very happy any more. I didn't think she would actually say yes, but I didn't think he was going to muck that up so monumentally. I mean, seriously? The one subject that could bring their tentative friendship crashing down- sure, that's the one he'll pick to talk to her with.

Lily was a bit weird in this chapter though. Her anger /was/ hypocritical, and she said about not really being able to talk to James because 'their past' was in the way, but then she said she really would miss being able to talk to him. I was all, 'wha?'
But lordy, that line at the end with poetic licence: oh, I loved it. I really did. It was truly majestic.

And James, James, James. You are a complete moron. After that lovely demonstration of how not to ask someone out, you display a chronic case of foot-in-mouth. I didn't even think it was that possible to be /that/ bad. However, you are so adorable. Your heart is in the right place, even if you are a bit of an idiot. The idea that Lily not saying 'no' had sustained you for seven years is beautifully hopelessly romantic. But you are a fool. But I love you. I want a James of my very own!

(side note about Mary/Remus: STOP LEADING HER ON. Clearly he likes her, and if Remus thinks his furry little problem is going to get in the way, (which it doesn't HAVE to) then he shouldn't lead her on. The lets-turn-Mary-into-a-lioness plan isn't working so far, and Remus breaking her heart won't help! Do you hear me, Remus? Bah, boys. Although, Lily getting jealous. oh, that was amazing. :D a great touch. And I think that if James showed her the secret passages, she'd report them. So, :P)

Anyway. I expect this all to be cleared up and beautiful in the next chapter. *snorts* unlikely, but I can hope, eh?

Fantastic, (but gr)

- Jenny

Author's Response: *cowers* I know, I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, it always kind of guts me to think about this part, too. But I also feel like it was necessary for them to acknowledge their messy history before they could really be together. I think they could only go on ignoring it for so long before it would inevitably rear its ugly head. Anyway, I'm rambling. :P

James, like many humans of the male variety, is not exactly the most tactful. This, however, is probably one of his worse moments in that department. Unfortunate coincidence, that. He really does mean well, and he's so hopeful, but I always feel like one of his main flaws is that he's a bit thoughtless when it comes to other people's feelings (hence the teasing of Snape and other students, and then the fact that he caused such a mess here).

I think Lily is supposed to be a bit weird here--I always like to write arguments where someone could read it and be mad at both characters. I think maybe the stuff you're talking about could be clarified more, though, because I don't want it to be TOO confusing. My intention was mainly to say that she thought they couldn't ever really be true friends because of their history--not really that they couldn't talk to each other because of it. And she kind of goes there in the heat of the moment, hence the later regret of losing him as a friend. It's actually very roundabout, now that I try to explain it. Basically, Lily is irrational in this chapter. I don't think what she's saying is supposed to make sense, although I did read that part over and I thought it could use a few edits. :P

Poor Remus and Mary. Honestly. I think Remus is enjoying the feeling of being liked, but as you pointed out, that's kind of unfair to Mary. It may just be that she gains something out of this whole situation in the end, though. ;)

*adopts innocent look* Oh, yes, everything will be perfect next chapter. *sees Jenny isn't buying it* All right, maybe not. But I guess the good thing about James/Lily stories is that you know it'll get cleared up in the end, right? :P

Thank you again!

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Review #25, by starryskies55 Outside the Shrieking Shack

15th September 2012:

The feels in this chapter have officially killed me. James and Lily- OH GOSH. Although, it's early days yet and I fully agree with Sirius' hilarious comment: "We get it. Evans is treating you like a normal human being, so she must be in love with you." - don't walk before you can run, Jamesie. I love that he was trying so hard to be nice to her with Filch -in fact, he was perfectly lovely- and then he made sure he didn't creepily stare at Lily while in the Three Broomsticks, and then he went to save her! *flails* Lily was in a little over her head, and while her intentions were good, I was mentally trying to speed up James' appearance there. And trademark attack of Snape... nicely done. :P

It was also super interesting to hear about all the conflict in the Department for Law Enforcement- I suppose the internal mess helps the Death Eaters become worse, as it's not regulated and stuff? I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of the Death Eaters had stuck their oars in, to be honest. And I caught Dearborn's little comment about 'making amends following the scandal'- does he want back in at the Ministry? o.O and the Hog's Head = dodgy. I dislike him.

One question I have, is has the Order been officially formed yet? Is it already operating under Dumbledore, and Lily and co. just don't know about it yet, or will they have a hand in its creation? I'm imagining a parallel to the DA- a study group intended to help students with Defence against the Dark Arts, and then that growing into the Order we saw in HP. Hmmm. (Lily/James did suggest a study group... :P, oh dearest imagination, kindly shut up).

And Remus nearly followed Mary away. don't you think I didn't see that! I saw it! (although, I AGREE, LILY. Mary's skittishness- you need to put a stop to that. Get out her inner lioness and stuffs)

And also- I'm pretty sure I'm right about Dearborn. Either that or he's actually really good and an Order member brought in by Dumbledore to watch over the kids... but, if that were true then I would have assumed it would have been someone that was even slightly competent at teaching Defence... no, I'll stick to my guns. He's a baddie. Fo sho.

Another chapter that I really can't gush enough about. It was witty: ('consider yourself insulted', Sirius' commentary ideas ohlordIcan'twaitforQuidditch... ) and there was all the FEELS, and then there was the epicness of the meeting with Bellatrix. Nasty dark arts business, which was amazing. Every time I think, 'yay fluff!' ^.^ , you throw that in, and I'm all 'YAY ACTION!' >:D And the shadowing evil that looms overhead is growing. :P

Amazing. Just, awesome.

- Jenny.

Author's Response: Yay, more reviews from Jenny! :D

Well, as you saw in the next chapter, James' optimism was definitely a bit premature. He is very nice in this chapter, though, the poor guy. I'm glad you liked the tension of the Hogsmeade visit, and their fight with Snape. :)

Haha, it's really killing me to not say anything about Dearborn! I will tell you that one of the theories you have guessed so far is correct. But I won't tell you which one, unless you want me to.

The issues at the Ministry are something that I definitely see as helping Voldemort gain power--we saw the same thing happening, to a certain extent, in OotP, with Fudge refusing to admit that Voldemort was back and allowing him to fly under the radar while he rallied his troops. In this case, it's not a matter of denial, but more of organization. I think the Ministry had never really dealt with someone like Voldemort before, and so they had trouble reacting properly. Also, he's now been a threat for so long without there being any real successes at stopping him, so I think that's when people tend to start turning on each other.

The Order is definitely going to have a presence later on, and I will say that it's formed already, since you asked. I know a lot of stories show Lily and the Marauders as being really integral to the Order's early days, but I take a slightly different view, which you will eventually come to. ;)

Your comment about Mary's inner lioness is extremely prescient. *tightlipped again*

I'm so happy you liked the chapter, and are generally just enjoying the story! It honestly feels like it's been ages since I got to have the experience of someone going through this story and leaving reviews, and it is so fun! I'm remembering stuff that I forgot I even wrote! :)

Thank you so much!

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