I love your version of Sirius! How he's NOT chasing after everything with boobs that's an acceptable age. I get so tired of reading that Sirius over and over again! This story is pretty great thus far :) (Also koodos on how spectacular your grammar is. That's another thing that bugs me, is really bad grammar ;)) Report Review
Holy wow. This is the BEST marauder/lily/James story I have read to date. Thank you. Report Review
Your vocabulary is delightful! Report Review
I have been searching and searching for a smart and well written James and lily story and I am so pleased to have finally found it!! Love!! Report Review
I was just reading my last review back and I believe I accidently said it had many clichés. I meant the to say that it doesn't have them. That is what I like so much.
I think you did a wonderfull job with the date and all. It's lovely that you did not rush them into it, the tension leading up to the moment was very nice. The happiness that came afterwards was quite cute as well.
I loved it... and I sincerely hope those marauders won't get themselfs in to much trouble with their 'framing the Slytherins' plan. Report Review
I think it's a good thing you say what you say in the author's note, I mean I sometimes think it's very anoying that people seem to keep trying to make Sirius fall in love.
I am still smitten on your story and I like the fact that it is not so adicting that it keeps me from sleeping and/or eating. It is possible to stop reading for a while, which is a good thing in my opinion (not that an adicting story is bad or something... don't get me wrong.)
Ayway, I love the way you write, not to much dramatics, but enough to keep it interesting and you yous seem to use to many clichés, which is very nice!
At some points you had me laughing, a thing I do appriciate when i'm reading a story.
I say this for the last few chapters, not only this one: I did a very nice job! Well done!
:) Report Review
After 3 chapters of a story I almost always know if the story is something I want to read entirely or not. You could say it takes me 3 chapters to get hooked. And I got hooked halfway through the first chapter and by the second chapter I was all in it!
I love how you write it so netural. It's like it would really be this way. It's not overly dramatic or unrealistic.
You really have a talent so keep up the good work.
x Report Review
Great chapter! Just started reading and I like it already! Report Review
Enticed! Really enjoying it :) a quick review so I can carry on reading. Penny x Report Review
Loved it! You have really done Lily and James justice and you should feel proud of all your hard work. It's just so sad...thinking about the tragedy that ends the lives of these two wonderful people... Report Review
More Lily and her friends moments, I found it funny of Lily hit Anna after her remark about Lily fancying her brother, it is a nice show of the fiery side of Lily's personality that was mentioned a few times in Harry Potter series when adults mentioned Lily while reminiscing. I also like that she vanished Anna's head, that made me laugh and Anna's remark about it was amusing as well. I also laughed at the professor's way of punishing Sirius for his antics; it was rather amusing to see him jinx Sirius instead of giving him a detention.
Anna and Dess' relationship is interesting too, I wonder if it's a family love hate relationship, where no matter how much they say they hate each other they actually love each other, or whether they actually do hate each other.
It's also good that you started to bring in the events that are happening outside Hogwarts, the start of the events that bring around the first war. It's basically the start of Hogwarts not being safe anymore and I'm glad that you brought it in near the start, just going to show that their year didn't start out as a happy year at Hogwarts that most other stories have.
And Snape has his first appearance, I'm happy about that, I always like seeing Snape as he was in Hogwarts, not just the older man he is later in life. I always like seeing the way he tries to apologies for his stunt in 5th year and how he loves her and just wants to protect her, I always liked seeing that.
And a civil conversation with James, I sort of like it, and them holding hands! Even if it wasn't in a romantic way. It's unusual to see Lily not yell at James for holding her hand, but I think I prefer it over the other way, constant fighting gets boring, playful banter and civil conversation is much more interesting. I also liked that Lily knew about James's invisibility cloak and his response to it, calling her 'bighead' for it.
I almost forgot about Remus's wolfy problem and that the Marauders always went with him. It will be really interesting if there is a auror patrolling when they are out, it will make for good drama. :)
Again there were no flow issues and I didn't notice any gramma ones either. I really liked this chapter and the Slug Club. It was really good. :)
More reviews will be on there way shortly, just as soon as I get RL under control :) Again, Happy 2nd Anniversary! Report Review
The fact that Lily isn't exactly overjoyed about being Head Girl is really good, I never thought of the Head positions being just a badly looked upon position, it's not something you would expect, when adults in the Harry Potter series talked of Head Boy and Girl it was with admiration and always saying they are proud if their child gets it. You never think that it actually might be some burden and people will hate you for it.
I like that Lily is sort of playing with James, the way she playfully hits him when he made a joke instead of yell at him. I also think the fact that she helps him with his head boy jobs is nice, even if she does lay all the club tasks on him, probably to get back at him for something. It that was really amusing actually, watching as James whined and Lily stood tall as she made him do all the club applications and she went off to work on her school work.
I also liked that you brought Anna and Mary into it again, even if it was for a little bit at least there was a little insight into her relationships with her friends and her personality.
There wasn't any issues of with flow or any gramma issues that I could see in this chapter, it was really well written and I enjoyed reading it. I really good chapter and I look forward to reading more as I go through your 2 Anniversary gift reviews. :) Report Review
I really like how James is actually trying to do a good job at being Head Boy even though he has no idea what he is doing. It's rather amusing. I also like how James's parts aren't completely orientated around marauders and the little stunts they pull, it's always good to have some of that, but constantly having it can sort of get a bit dragging so I am glad that James's parts are refreshing and involve other aspects of his Hogwarts life.
I also like that Lily and James are being civil towards each other and that even with James' teasing Lily is still trying to refrain from yelling at him. It's good and I prefer it to the cliche. Also, the fact that the story is more orientated around James and Lily's time together instead of the ways that James tries to ask her out is really good as well.
Again the flow was good and nothing really disrupted it, which again is really good for a story that changing P.O.V a few times in a chapter. Most stories just a little when they change P.O.V but yours doesn't. Just a few gramma related things; '"For homework, please research the ingredients of Veritaserum, and provide detailed explanations of their origins and properties. I would like at least twelve inches inches, due by next class. You are dismissed."' You doubled up on inches here.
I really look forward to reading more although I do hope there is a bit more of Lily interacting with her friends, since we have seen more of James' then hers. Her friends seem interesting so I hope to see more of them. I also look forward to the Slug Club party cause they have always been very amusing parties. :) Report Review
This is a really good start; I like the way that you brought Lily and James's point of views into the story from the very beginning, it means that through out it, there will be bother sides and individual personalities portrayed and not just one side that imagines what they other is thinking.
I also really like the way you slotted in the hat's song, with it's usual warning which sort of links to everything that will happen later. And that from the start of Lily and James's seventh year they aren't completely bickering and actually trying to get along, it's really refreshing compared to all the other Lily/James stories on the archive.
There were a few spelling mistakes, mostly missed letters nothing too serious. But otherwise there weren't any issues with flow; even with the switch of P.O.V there wasn't any bumps in the flow of the chapter.
I really like this chapter; it's a great lead in to the rest of the story, with laying down James and Lily's relationship and the introduction of both of their friends. It leaves more room for plot in the rest of the chapters instead of introductions.
I look forward to reading more and finding out how Lily and James got together :) Report Review
This chapter is not out of place, it's a good chapter. You
write very well.Author's Response: Thank you very much! I really appreciate the encouragement and the compliment! :) Report Review
OH MY STOP IT WITH THE FEELS.
I'm really sorry I haven't read/reviewed any more chapters until now, I have been ridiculously super busy! :( Now I'm making time where no actual time exists :P
I adored the bit at the start, about the differences between Muggle and wizarding Halloween, it was really nice to be reminded of the difference! And James and Lily... you stubborn morons, you! I badly need for them to get back together, you hear me?
I'm blaming James here too, not Lily. James is trying to give Lily some space to cool down and stuff, and Lily is just being pigheaded and stubborn! Role reversal, much? Gahhh, you make me mad :(
I also liked the little bit of pranking with the Slytherins :P You make the cliche bits of the maruader era seem not cliche, which is super awesome. It's also kind of cool that it's usually Peter who has the ideas against the Slytherins.
REMUS/MARY. Holy moley, why do you do this to me? :(
Not fair. I know Remus is doing the right thing (in his eyes at least) and James and Sirius and Peter know that too, but Mary can't understand why and this is horrible :( I thought that Remus' internal conflict was written amazingly (per usual) and I'm so sad for him! Although, as soon as the words 'Mary' and 'near the dungeons' were mentioned, my internal Slytherin/evilness radar was screaming!
I really hope everything gets better soon.. but I doubt it, somehow :P Another fantastic chapter! Also, I'm writing a marauders now, one that I've been wanting to write for aaages! So, thanks for giving me the push!
- JennyAuthor's Response: Oh, no, don't apologize! I totally understand being busy, and no rush at all. I definitely did miss your lovely reviews, but other commitments come first. :) I will be happy to receive your reviews whenever you have time (existing or otherwise)!
I hear you, don't worry. And they will, I promise! That's one of the great things about James/Lily--you never have to worry TOO much about them (as long as you ignore their eventual fates), because you know they'll end up together. They are both being very foolish, and as much as I'm sorry to make you mad...I'm also happy about it? :P If you weren't frustrated, I wouldn't have done a very good job writing this.
"You make the cliche bits of the maruader era seem not cliche, which is super awesome." - That line made my LIFE. Thank you.
I think at this point, I may need to invest in a shield, in case you decide to start throwing rotting vegetables at me. Remus and Mary are not in a very happy place, it's true, and...well, I shouldn't say anything more, because it'll spoil it! You must read on! (When you have time!) Mwahaha.
Well, like I said, everything will get better. Actually, SOME things will get better. That's more accurate. And I'm so happy to hear that you're writing your own Marauders story! I bet it will be great. :) At some point, I want to read it.
Thanks for another great review! I'm so happy that you're still enjoying the story. Report Review
Hello! You were lovely to stop by and review something of mine and I've /finally/ had time to drop by a story of yours!
Can I just say that this is a breath of fresh air? I'll be honest with you and say that this is pretty close to perfect, if not completely so. I'll try not to ramble and be all fangirlish :P
First off, I'd like to applaud you on your characterization. It's so wonderfully in-line with canon, but you've made it your own - that make sense? Readers see the characteristics of James and Lily that JKR gives us in the series and you've honored them, yet expanded them into a full-fledged character. James is flawed, as we expect him to be, but he is maturing and growing as an individual - the chapter shows this so well through descriptions and dialogue. Lily - oh my holy Harry Potter - I LOVE your characterization of her. Many of the fanfictions I've read have made her out to be either extremely temperamental or sweet and perfect. You've created a character that is realistic and that's one of the greatest accomplishments as a writer. I honestly don't know what else to say to you or how to say it - I couldn't help but be completely entranced with your characters. I fell in love with them - their faults and anxieties and strengths and humanity.
Your dialogue is divine. DIVINE. It was like sinking your teeth into the most delicious piece of chocolate cake and then finding it had Oreos baked in. Seriously. It's absolutely commendable and makes me insanely jealous! The only thing I saw that was a bit wonky (to me, at least) was in the following sentence: "Madam Pomfrey is excellent at reversing the effects of any jinxes or hexes, so try and remember where it is unless you get hit by one." - Shouldn't that say "if" instead of "unless"? But other than that, it was pure genius. There are always those writers we love because of the descriptions or the dialogue, but I have to say, I think you're a writer of both - you've got both strengths going for you.
You know, there's about a hundred thousand other things I want to say to you, but this chapter has completely overwhelmed me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's so refreshing and almost comforting to read a story that has honored JKR and the series, but composed something all their own, something that seems new. If we knew nothing about James & Lily, this would still hold its own and that's such an accomplishment. Overall, I enjoyed this immensely - it definitely takes a spot on my favorites list! :)
ShelbyAuthor's Response: Hi Shelby! Thank you so much for coming by to leave me a review. It was really nice of you!
And, um, OMG, all of your compliments just kind of put me into deer-in-the-headlights shock, because you're such a talented writer. Hearing you say "this is pretty close to perfect" is just like...amazing and will likely cause ME to ramble.
I'm so, so happy you like my characterization, and think it's in line with canon. :D I really did try to sit down and pinpoint the different aspects of their personalities that we see in canon, but at the same time, I didn't want to allow those to overly colour my characterizations. Too often, I think people take James or Lily's personality in "Snape's Worst Memory" and use it to characterize their every action and thought. James--I'm particularly glad that you like him, because he did give me some trouble at the start! Characters are what really fascinate me in writing, so it's always a thrill to hear that someone thinks I've done a good job with it. :D
AND DIALOGUE. I love dialogue. Can I just say, first, that I nearly keeled over when you said I do descriptions well? I ALWAYS feel like I struggle with description, so it's just the nicest thing to hear that you think I did well with it on this chapter. Dialogue, on the other hand, always comes more naturally to me and is more fun to write--it's even better when I get good feedback on it. :D (And yes, you're absolutely right about that line. Thanks for the heads-up!)
I'm just so happy and flattered that you liked the chapter. :) It's a huge compliment to hear that you think I've created a good balance between canon and my own interpretations. I know exactly that feeling you're describing; I've experienced it before, and knowing you feel that about this chapter is one of the best compliments I could receive!
Thank you again for the wonderful review! Much appreciated. :) Report Review
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? Oh, my last review, full of hopeful promise and feels, and then you tear it up and throw the pieces to the wind. I'm not very happy any more. I didn't think she would actually say yes, but I didn't think he was going to muck that up so monumentally. I mean, seriously? The one subject that could bring their tentative friendship crashing down- sure, that's the one he'll pick to talk to her with.
Lily was a bit weird in this chapter though. Her anger /was/ hypocritical, and she said about not really being able to talk to James because 'their past' was in the way, but then she said she really would miss being able to talk to him. I was all, 'wha?'
But lordy, that line at the end with poetic licence: oh, I loved it. I really did. It was truly majestic.
And James, James, James. You are a complete moron. After that lovely demonstration of how not to ask someone out, you display a chronic case of foot-in-mouth. I didn't even think it was that possible to be /that/ bad. However, you are so adorable. Your heart is in the right place, even if you are a bit of an idiot. The idea that Lily not saying 'no' had sustained you for seven years is beautifully hopelessly romantic. But you are a fool. But I love you. I want a James of my very own!
(side note about Mary/Remus: STOP LEADING HER ON. Clearly he likes her, and if Remus thinks his furry little problem is going to get in the way, (which it doesn't HAVE to) then he shouldn't lead her on. The lets-turn-Mary-into-a-lioness plan isn't working so far, and Remus breaking her heart won't help! Do you hear me, Remus? Bah, boys. Although, Lily getting jealous. oh, that was amazing. :D a great touch. And I think that if James showed her the secret passages, she'd report them. So, :P)
Anyway. I expect this all to be cleared up and beautiful in the next chapter. *snorts* unlikely, but I can hope, eh?
Fantastic, (but gr)
- JennyAuthor's Response: *cowers* I know, I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, it always kind of guts me to think about this part, too. But I also feel like it was necessary for them to acknowledge their messy history before they could really be together. I think they could only go on ignoring it for so long before it would inevitably rear its ugly head. Anyway, I'm rambling. :P
James, like many humans of the male variety, is not exactly the most tactful. This, however, is probably one of his worse moments in that department. Unfortunate coincidence, that. He really does mean well, and he's so hopeful, but I always feel like one of his main flaws is that he's a bit thoughtless when it comes to other people's feelings (hence the teasing of Snape and other students, and then the fact that he caused such a mess here).
I think Lily is supposed to be a bit weird here--I always like to write arguments where someone could read it and be mad at both characters. I think maybe the stuff you're talking about could be clarified more, though, because I don't want it to be TOO confusing. My intention was mainly to say that she thought they couldn't ever really be true friends because of their history--not really that they couldn't talk to each other because of it. And she kind of goes there in the heat of the moment, hence the later regret of losing him as a friend. It's actually very roundabout, now that I try to explain it. Basically, Lily is irrational in this chapter. I don't think what she's saying is supposed to make sense, although I did read that part over and I thought it could use a few edits. :P
Poor Remus and Mary. Honestly. I think Remus is enjoying the feeling of being liked, but as you pointed out, that's kind of unfair to Mary. It may just be that she gains something out of this whole situation in the end, though. ;)
*adopts innocent look* Oh, yes, everything will be perfect next chapter. *sees Jenny isn't buying it* All right, maybe not. But I guess the good thing about James/Lily stories is that you know it'll get cleared up in the end, right? :P
Thank you again! Report Review
The feels in this chapter have officially killed me. James and Lily- OH GOSH. Although, it's early days yet and I fully agree with Sirius' hilarious comment: "We get it. Evans is treating you like a normal human being, so she must be in love with you." - don't walk before you can run, Jamesie. I love that he was trying so hard to be nice to her with Filch -in fact, he was perfectly lovely- and then he made sure he didn't creepily stare at Lily while in the Three Broomsticks, and then he went to save her! *flails* Lily was in a little over her head, and while her intentions were good, I was mentally trying to speed up James' appearance there. And trademark attack of Snape... nicely done. :P
It was also super interesting to hear about all the conflict in the Department for Law Enforcement- I suppose the internal mess helps the Death Eaters become worse, as it's not regulated and stuff? I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of the Death Eaters had stuck their oars in, to be honest. And I caught Dearborn's little comment about 'making amends following the scandal'- does he want back in at the Ministry? o.O and the Hog's Head = dodgy. I dislike him.
One question I have, is has the Order been officially formed yet? Is it already operating under Dumbledore, and Lily and co. just don't know about it yet, or will they have a hand in its creation? I'm imagining a parallel to the DA- a study group intended to help students with Defence against the Dark Arts, and then that growing into the Order we saw in HP. Hmmm. (Lily/James did suggest a study group... :P, oh dearest imagination, kindly shut up).
And Remus nearly followed Mary away. don't you think I didn't see that! I saw it! (although, I AGREE, LILY. Mary's skittishness- you need to put a stop to that. Get out her inner lioness and stuffs)
And also- I'm pretty sure I'm right about Dearborn. Either that or he's actually really good and an Order member brought in by Dumbledore to watch over the kids... but, if that were true then I would have assumed it would have been someone that was even slightly competent at teaching Defence... no, I'll stick to my guns. He's a baddie. Fo sho.
Another chapter that I really can't gush enough about. It was witty: ('consider yourself insulted', Sirius' commentary ideas ohlordIcan'twaitforQuidditch... ) and there was all the FEELS, and then there was the epicness of the meeting with Bellatrix. Nasty dark arts business, which was amazing. Every time I think, 'yay fluff!' ^.^ , you throw that in, and I'm all 'YAY ACTION!' >:D And the shadowing evil that looms overhead is growing. :P
Amazing. Just, awesome.
- Jenny.Author's Response: Yay, more reviews from Jenny! :D
Well, as you saw in the next chapter, James' optimism was definitely a bit premature. He is very nice in this chapter, though, the poor guy. I'm glad you liked the tension of the Hogsmeade visit, and their fight with Snape. :)
Haha, it's really killing me to not say anything about Dearborn! I will tell you that one of the theories you have guessed so far is correct. But I won't tell you which one, unless you want me to.
The issues at the Ministry are something that I definitely see as helping Voldemort gain power--we saw the same thing happening, to a certain extent, in OotP, with Fudge refusing to admit that Voldemort was back and allowing him to fly under the radar while he rallied his troops. In this case, it's not a matter of denial, but more of organization. I think the Ministry had never really dealt with someone like Voldemort before, and so they had trouble reacting properly. Also, he's now been a threat for so long without there being any real successes at stopping him, so I think that's when people tend to start turning on each other.
The Order is definitely going to have a presence later on, and I will say that it's formed already, since you asked. I know a lot of stories show Lily and the Marauders as being really integral to the Order's early days, but I take a slightly different view, which you will eventually come to. ;)
Your comment about Mary's inner lioness is extremely prescient. *tightlipped again*
I'm so happy you liked the chapter, and are generally just enjoying the story! It honestly feels like it's been ages since I got to have the experience of someone going through this story and leaving reviews, and it is so fun! I'm remembering stuff that I forgot I even wrote! :)
Thank you so much! Report Review
I started to review this at half two this morning, and then my eyes went fuzzy so I went to bed, I'm sorry :( So, on with the review!
Right, OMG LILY, JUST LOVE JAMES ALREADY. No, Jenny. Think of the plot.
Also, the Remus/Mary feels, oh gosh, if they get together I may not be able to contain myself. I mean, sure, there is a furry little problem and Lily is quite possibly right saying there are some commitment issues, but he's going to look after her! And it would be so cute. I have a lot of love in my heart for Remus. I love how it's all tentative and new and sweet- if someone else had written it, they would have been caught in a broom cupboard :( So yay for tentativeness! :D The scene with Lily, Mary and Anna- it's so true to life. I must have had the same conversation a million times with my friends, only without the threat of Silencing Charms: "Anna looked supremely unconcerned" - what a LINE.
And James' reaction was so typically male: "The last thing he wanted was to get pulled into hysterics over who fancied who." Never mind that he's pining over Lily, and has been doing so for aaages. Love with anyone else means hysterics! Twas a great little bit.
The discovery of the Room of Requirement! Wow, that was like a breath of fresh air! (oh god, I've started on the imagery again, stop me, please). Usually they just find it, and immediately know how it works and use it to it's full capability every other half hour. *rolls eyes*. I LOVE that this isn't the case- more proof of your fantastic originality. The idea that it is just a hiding place is fab, and while I kind of think that you'll just leave it as a hiding place, I also kind of think that if someone would unlock all it's secrets, it would be Lily, with the Marauders standing around all like "is this girl for real? Seriously?" Oh god, I hope they don't have to use it while running from Death Eaters. :( Your story makes my imagination run haywire! Stop it!
On a more serious note, the ever looming threat of old mouldy Voldy is getting steadily nearer and looming-er.. it's horrible to see all your lovely characters so scared! Lily was a proper lion, declaring she'll defend Mary and Anna, and I really hope she doesn't have to, although my inner Lit student detects a degree of foreshadowing... I hope I'm wrong on that point :( Mary is such a sweet character, although I have a feeling I may get annoyed at her lack of confidence at some point.
Lily and James' sweet moment in 'their' office (KISS) well, I was so happy. SHE ASKED HIM TO STAY. Although he said no, I'm glad, or world war three may have broken out in such a confined space. Also: "To his surprise, Lily sighed knowingly, put down her quill, and said, "Sit down."" She is a teacher if I ever saw one! She's already got an office, the attitude AND planning study groups. Mind you, I could see James being a teacher too- earlier, didn't he say that he liked sharing things with an eager audience? N'aw.
And I think you're probably getting used to my reviews being in the wrong order, but I'll apologise anyway: I am actually sorry, they must be hell to read.
Also, is your title of the fic a reference to the prophecy? "Thrice defied the dark lord... *rattling breath*" Because OMG TRILOGY. YAY. Although considering the web of intrigue I created about Dearborn, I'm embarrassed it took me until chapter five. I think you may have to deduct points for sleuthiness :( Although, I'm pretty excited now about a massive bust-up! I adore action, so so so so much.
But anyway, you're just amazing. I love how this fic is so complex, and I can try to point out things like foreshadowing- I may have said this before, but nothing is clumsy, everything fits in neatly. Everything /adds/ to the story, every single witty line or brilliantly crafted sentence.
PS. Totally saw your tweet, then got a calculator and added up your review counts, which MEANS, that if no-one sneaked in before me, this is your thousandth review. Thanks so much for being a wonderful author- your wittiness and writing prowess and complete genius means you deserve every single one of those reviews, and more besides.Author's Response: OMG, OMG, ONE THOUSANDTH REVIEW!!! *hugs Jenny profusely* Thank you so much! I feel like I should print this out and frame it or something! *may actually be contemplating doing this in some form*
And you were up that late?! You don't need to apologize for going to sleep...sleep is important! (Although I'm pretty flattered that you stayed up so late because of my story.)
Remus and Mary are very cute, I have to admit...however...well, you basically covered the "however" part of it. It's there and it's undeniable, but I suppose you'll have to keep reading to find out what happens between them. I LOVE tentativeness. You can probably tell that from this story. :D I love that you pointed that out about James, how he didn't want to get involved even though he's BEEN involved in something similar for ages. I actually never even thought of the hypocrisy in it--just more his isolationist attitude towards it--but you are so right!
I'm so glad you liked the Room of Requirement part! I was trying to make sense of the fact that it wasn't on the Marauder's Map, because if it were, you would think they'd have marked it somehow. And then I remembered how Fred and George originally found it, and that scene was born. :)
If it seems like I'm ignoring anything you've said in this review or saying really oddly brief things about it, it's probably just because I feel like, if I say anything, it's going to ruin parts of the plot for you. :P But one thing I WILL tell you is that you're completely right about the title reference and trilogy aspect. I actually have a hope to one day write FOUR novels about them (ack!)--one for each of the "defiances", and then one covering the time following the third and up to their deaths. (Yeah, I'm gonna go there. I'll be a wreck.) Don't feel embarrassed about not picking up on it...I honest think I was on chapter twenty-something of this story before ANYONE ever mentioned it in a review.
And having said that, I love hearing you pick up on foreshadowing, and (dare I say this?) you never know whether you might be picking up on something that is going to happen in this story, or in a sequel! So keep that in mind. ;)
Aaaahhh, I'm just so happy you love the story so much. I couldn't even ask for a better review to have as my thousandth, because it's made me so full of enthusiasm. So thank you (a thousand times)...I can't tell you how nice it is! Report Review
I'm pretty slack with reviewing, but I thought I might just drop a line or two to say how much I'm enjoying this already - I tend to avoid Marauder stories, especially those about James and Lily in seventh year, because I never feel like writers can pull off their reconciliation and falling in love. But so far this looks extremely promising - the characterisations are believable, the relationship between them at this point seems just right. I will definitely keep reading (even though I have an assignment I should be writing...) Good job on a great first chapter!Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for taking the time to review. It's wonderful to hear that you're enjoying the story! :D
It seems like a lot of people avoid Marauders stories, and I completely understand why. They're by far my favourite type of story, but even I get discouraged sometimes! :P I really hope that as you read, you feel like I've done something good with James and Lily's story. It's one that's been stuck in my head (in various iterations) for probably about a decade now.
Holy crap. That was the first time I actually added that up in my head. O_o
Ahem. Anyway, as I was saying, it's a story that means a lot to me, and I've tried to make their reconciliation and falling in love as realistic as possible. I know it's depicted a lot, and usually it's not the most realistic romance...but I hope mine is in SOME small way. And I would appreciate if there's any feedback that you have--any points where it feels unrealistic or off. :)
I'm glad that so far, it seems good to you! I hope you keep reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts as you do. No pressure to review every chapter or write big long reviews, though!
Thanks again! Report Review
RIGHT. I GOOGLED CARADOC DEARBORN, and I have a naturally suspicious mind, and I'm probably reading /far/ too much into this, but I reckon he's a baddie. Like, a MAJOR baddie. I will now list my reasons for thinking so (no laughing when I'm wrong).
a) HP wiki says he disappeared, his body was never found. Clearly something fishy is going on there.
b) Lily mentioned he was evil.
c) someone else mentioned he was spineless.
d) he backed Dumbledore and effectively lost his job, and now has to rely on Dumbledore's handouts. If I was Dearborn, I'd have a grudge. (I'm suspicious and mean)
Therefore, I conclude that Dearborn has become jaded with the Order (and/or Dumbledore) and is going to (if he hasn't already) joined the Death Eaters- possibly due to his spineless nature, he get easily persuaded to join.
Now, I'm going to be quite big-headed and say I'm usually right about guessing plots (I'm a right laugh to watch films with *rolls eyes*) so I'm about ninety-nine percent sure he's a baddie. And a friend once called me Sherlock. *head inflates*
Anyway, onto more light hearted stuff! James and Lily after the party, I was practically chanting 'NOW KISS'- but as much as I want them to, that probably wouldn't be good for the plot. So sad, but happy.
Anna at the party was brilliantly sarcastic, not over the top, but totally believable- not everyone has the perfect comebacks all the time (as we've seen with Lily) :P
The giant photos and being 'immortalised in cheese' (oh my gosh, I laughed so hard) sounds like such a brilliant idea, and such a Slughorn thing to do. Does he have no conception of the embarrassment, or does he rnjoy making people squirm? (ohmygosh- plunny for Slughorn organising a Deathday party... that would be so amazing) I also love that James was referred to as 'Courageous and Confident'! Genius.
Remus' furry little problem neatly making an appearance as well... seriously, nothing is jerky or seems to be out of place. Please, may I have your writing skills? On the same kind of line, I loved the sneaky little bit about the invisibility cloak- I wonder if Lily knows about Remus' furry little problem? o.O
Oh, I'm going in the wrong order again. The Defence class was superb, I liked to see the Marauders being mischievous, and I ADORED the reference to their fifth year :P Although I have now a deep rooted dislike of Dearborn, which I doubt will ever go away. OMG. Dearborn and Peter. will they conspire against with each other? Against the marauders? I /may/ be getting ahead of myself here.
By the way, I meant to say in the last review but I forgot- I really love the parallels to Harry's years with old mouldy Voldy on the loose- the extra protection of the Aurors and the stuff to detect dark magic! It's fantastic.
I love this story so much! And verbal acrobatics is such an amazing phrase!
PS. This may be the longest review I have EVER left.Author's Response: :O This IS a long one! AND I LOVE IT. :D
Very interesting predictions there...I'm waggling my eyebrows in a cryptic sort of way, which is probably a terrible mental image. Of course, I won't spoil anything for you and say whether you're right or not. But I will say that, either way, points for sleuthiness. ;) It's actually so interesting to me that you dislike Dearborn--I've never had anyone tell me that in a review. I'm not offended in the slightest (I actually take it as a form of high praise when people tell me they dislike one of my characters), but your reaction is definitely unique. :D
Oh goodness, the "NOW KISS" chants have started already, have they? I'm quite sure you're going to want to murder me before the story's end. *hides* Apologies in advance.
I'm so glad you liked Anna! I love Anna. I used to get reviewers telling me how much they disliked her, which just made me feel this evil sense of pride in the fact that I thought she was awesome. Later in the story, many of them decided that she was all right. ;)
I love it when people review this story from the start, because it reminds me of things that are way back in the dusty corners of my memory. Like "immortalized in cheese". Did I actually write that? It sounds now like it came from a much wittier person than me. :P I think Slughorn has a concept of embarrassment, but it happens to be very different than the one that most other people have. In his mind, who WOULDN'T want all that attention and praise?
You want my writing skills?! I actually don't know if anyone's ever said that to me before! I also don't know if I have skills. But I'll take your word for it. :P
I could tell you what I think about what Lily thinks about Remus' furry problem, but you'll come to that later in the story, so I won't spoil it.
I feel like I repeat this every response, but oh well: I'm so happy you're still loving the story! Your reviews have been really fun to read so far, and I look forward to hearing more. :D Thanks again! Report Review
Oh dear lord! I'd kind of gone off Lily/James and the whole marauders era in general since I tried one (disastrous) and I read far too many (cliche) but this... this is like water in a desert. I sound like a cliche marauder fic now. YOU ARE MY SIRIUS BLACK.
*cough* Anyway. I love the defined characters, the witty dialogue, the brilliant scenes- JAMES CLEARED THE OFFICE- that's true love, right? :P And now they're calling each other by their first names... it's slow and steady, and so believable and just brilliant.
of course, you've slotted in the growing warning about old mouldy Voldy really neatly, as well as the reminders of James/Lily romance :P
I can't wait to read the Slug Club party! You're a brilliant writer. Sorry this was only quick, I'm going out.. about four minutes ago!Author's Response: I'm your Sirius Black?! :D I'd better get working on perfecting my attractive, angsty stares and casual charm...
In all seriousness, I'm so happy to hear that I've managed to overcome your feelings about James/Lily and Marauders Era for you. I completely know what you mean; it can take a lot of sifting through to find something that you really like. There really is so much potential for a good story, though, I think!
I really tried to make their relationship progress at a steady rate--or if not entirely steady at times, at least believable still. There's a lot of history to overcome, you know? I felt like that wouldn't just go away in a week. I guess it might be torturous at times, but...I like to think it's worth it. :P
And yes, there's always Voldy. He does cause a lot of trouble for James and Lily, unfortunately. I feel like one of the great parts about the HP books was the fact that you knew there was danger going on outside, so I've tried to carry that through into this story.
Thanks again for the wonderful reviews! And no rush on reviewing; the story isn't going anywhere. :P Report Review
[in reply to your author's note] I WANT TO READ MORE. err.. *cough*
Anyway, as I said in my last review, I love this so incredibly much. It's funny and brilliantly written and I'm very aware of the dangers of repeating myself too much in reviews :/
There is a mystery with Dearborn now, which is fanastic- I seem to remember a Dearborn too... Caradoc? Or something? I'll google it later.
The Potions class was great, and I loved the way Lily is great at purposefully annoying people - first Snape, and then James. I think the way you've done Lily/James is fantastic so far, and I really can't wait to read more! I'm going backwards here, but I also loved Sirius' arrogance with talking to Professor McGonagall and also his views on the previous Head Boys. Him being a rebel and arrogant is a cliche, but you write everything so well I kind of forget it is. It's brilliant, anyway. :DAuthor's Response: YAY, YOU WANT TO READ MORE! :D
Hahaha, I won't get bothered by you repeating yourself in reviews, don't worry--especially if you don't mind how much I tend to repeat myself in responses! :P So glad you're still enjoying the story.
You may indeed find some details out there if you look up Caradoc Dearborn. ;)
I'm so glad you're like the dynamics between James and Lily thus far, since that's obviously the most important thing in the story, really. And Sirius! You know, I often feel like I have a hard time writing Sirius' lighter side, so I'm really happy that you think I've written him well.
See how I'm repeating myself? :P I'm just so happy to hear such wonderful feedback!
Thank you again! Report Review
Oh dear lord, I'm in love already. I haven't felt this away about a fanfic since. who am I kidding? I've never felt this way! This is amazing, although I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. It's a Marauders, that's well-written and doesn't seem to be shaping up with any cliches... cor, what isn't to adore?
I was going to read the sequel to this, and then I realised it was a sequel, so I popped on down and I'm so glad that I did, this is fantastic. I'm most definitely in love.
Your characterisations are superb, I love the dialogue, you've nicely inserted the threat of old mouldy Voldy, and this is so well-written, my jaw is on the floor. Seriously, amazing. The bit about Peter being good at concealment? Oh, that was genius and the reception of James in the dorm- that was priceless. And, I really hope you've done the wedding... that sounds really awesome.
I think I should shut up now. I've got some ironing to do, but I swear on Merlin's knickers I'll be back.
-Jenny.Author's Response: Oh my god, Jenny, your reviews have made my LIFE. :D I'm so excited that you're loving the story! You're too nice, really. You'll have to be careful or this is all going to go to my head!
I'm thrilled to hear you like the characterizations and dialogue. I love characters; they're what drives me as a writer, so I always feel especially proud whenever someone says I've done well with them.
And what's a Marauders story without some Voldemort and Peter, right? Well...wait. I guess that's not always the case. :P But I don't see why people DON'T include them, because they're really the key to the poignancy of the whole story. I totally think Peter would have a talent for sneaking around unnoticed, based both on his Animagus form and on the obvious sneaking-around-unnoticed that he did as a spy.
I suppose it's not spoiling much to say that the wedding is included in a later chapter. :) I hope you like it when you get there!
Thank you so, so much for reading and reviewing. I have a feeling that your compliments are going to sustain me for ages. :D Report Review
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