You know, you could make this a novel. And I wouldn't call this story confusing. More like... intriguing. Mysterious.
...and confusing, I surrender. (It reminds me of Timoth'ee de Fombelle. He's a mastermind. Read 'Vango', even if you think you're too old for it.)
You captured Minerva all right. In my opinion there aren't enough McGonagall stories on fanfiction by far. No good ones, anyway. And I smell a good story.
I want to know what happened. For something must have happened in order for Minerva to finally turn her back on him. Or for him, the other way round.
I want to know what happened. For something must have happened in order for Tom to play that first game of chess (checkers? What's that?) and the endless games that followed.
(Now that sounds just mean. But I meant it more in the 'Hah, I'm a ninja' kind of way. Don't ask.)
X Report Review
Okay, yeah, Gubby, I'm confused. .___. Haha, I feel like I've been through a sort of time warp vortex and I just got spat out after finishing this. xD
o.O That was a weird analogy.
Anyways, I love your characterization of Minerva! And I really liked the second person. A lot of people detest second person but personally I really can't see why, especially if it's so well done like this! It (well, relating to the analogy from before) sucked me in even deeper into the story. I think I might still be surrounded by a cloud of confusion right now, but more like an "Whoa-I'm-in-awe" kind of cloud, not a "What-the-heck-is-going-on" one.
Did that make sense? haha ^_^
Anyways, I don't read much Tom/Minerva. This is probably the second or third that I've ever read, but now I think I'll definitely look into this ship more! What are you doing to me, Gubby? Turning me into a dark fan, and then making me like Tom/Minerva?!
haha just keeding
your adoring fan,
Winky the House Elf Report Review
The use of first person and the chronology of this story really makes it stand out amongst others. Amazing job! Report Review
Hey Gubby! I thought that the plot of this story was constructed extremely well. It took some extra comprehension to see how the plot fixtures related, but once I figured it out I was more than pleased with the story aspect. I like how this story didn't go too far off base in terms of characterization. It keeps Tom as a unloving fool and McGongall as a strict but passionately competitive person. Further I love how they did not have a lasting relationship or even one of any real substance.
Something that I did not care for was the use of second person here. I think that this piece would be even better if it was done in third person. You use of second person was distracting to me and I did not feel pulled in by it. I know this is just my opinion however so do with it what you will. Otherwise as I mentioned before this was a powerful tragedy of sorts.
Well done! Report Review
wow! wow wow!!
this was amazing. i can't even remember what you asked for as far as the review goes but im afraid to say i have nothing to critique. nothing. at all.
this was stunning. and so beautifully sad. i absolutely adore your writing you know that? your second person voice is so strong and compelling - i don't have a choice but to see myself as minerva - and at the same time, you don't make it overwhelming for the reader. its a gentle inclusion, a subtle coercion. well done!!
i think my fav line is this one:
But his voice is magnetic, is nature, is law and order and chaos.
that is just GAH! such poetry! i was smiling when i read that and i think i may have gasped aloud!
this piece shows how well you understand both the characters - i don't know what i can say here, other than it was stunning writing. they were exceptionally real - esp on the beach. those scenes were so strong - it was all very vivid in my head.
i like this writing it backwards style - i think i may have to try it out, if i don't confuse myself that is, lol.
well, i favourited this before i read it, so certain was i that it would be incredible.
loved it hun! totally loved it!
10/10 because nothing less will do at all! Report Review
First of all, I am SO sorry for not having reviewed this earlier. You reviewed "For Such the Angels Go" and I made a mental note of reviewing this, but for some reason I didn't. So I'll make it up to you now.
Second of all, this makes all of my writing look like camel dung. So nyuh. *sticks out tongue* No false modesty from you, thank you!
Third of all, I love it. Absolutely. The relationship between Tom and Minerva is as unexpected as it is original, and you, being you, capture it with excellence and poise. (Do I sound like an old cotillion matriarch? I do hope I don't. It's not my intent. :P) Really, Gubby. The sandals bit at the beginning - er - end. I don't think I've ever seen such a perfect metaphor nor such perfect writing. The beach in Brighton.
Gubby, this is, without question, your magnum opus. I have read a LOT of your work, and I love it all, but this surpasses everything. Something I especially loved, and it wasn't about the one-shot itself, was that you put the title at the end, along with the author's note. That's something I wouldn't have thought of, and is unique to your flawless mind.
I can't think of any critique. None at all. The game of chess - it's the perfect idea. Absolutely enthralling.
10/10, as per usual. ^^
XOXO, Kalina Report Review
Wow. I don't even know where to start Gubby. There are so many great things about this. What an innovative idea! Nicely done! The only thing I did not like was that it was second person - In my opinion (which may or may not matter at all!!) the second person put a damper on what would have been a flawless story. That is strictly my opinion and the only thing I struggles with. The plot was perfection. A perfect dose of intrigue and confusion - just how I like them ^_^ I have never read a Tom/Minerva fic before so I cannot safely comment on the validity of the relationship other than the fact I liked it and found the characterization to be lovely. Your usage of the English language is nothing short of exemplary - truly beautiful Gubby! I guess I have nothing constructive to say!! I loved it! Report Review
I missed this. And yeah, I will be honest that i didnt get everything because it is half past one in the morning and i didnt even really notice the odd time notes until here at the end, but i missed the writing so much. i came on the site after months tonight and after skimming a few things I knew i wanted a Gubby story! and i really liked this. i loved the chess part, and minerva...oh I really really liked your Minerva.
Aaah, Gubby...yay! I want to read more of your work again. And so I will! Report Review
'Tis celticbard from TGS, here to review as requested. ^_^
I must admit, I was very excited to read this when I first saw this story advertised. Tom/Minerva is indeed an intriguing pairing, challenging to write I should imagine, but oh so rewarding.
Right off the bat, I must commend you for writing entirely in the 2nd person. I could never master that particularl point of view and I know it takes a lot of practice and talent to pull off. And even though you used the 2nd person, I feel as though Minerva's personality came through just as strongly as if you had used the 1st. From the opening line, you had her down pat, her mannerisms, her dry humor, her keen intelligence. I could certainly sympathize with her as well despite her tendency to be aloof. Brava!
Needless to say, your writing was beautiful. The dialogue was neat and appropriate and your descriptions were just right, neither overwhelming nor sparse. Also, your inclusion of "Hamlet" and the chess game just worked so perfectly. The symbolism of Tom's simple phrase "king me" sent chills down my spine. I suppose he does fancy himself a Hamlet, although I think Hamlet's madness was less self-serving.
In short, I loved this piece, Gubby. Thank you so much for requesting from my thread. I do hope you won't be a stranger in the future. ;) Please feel free to drop by any time and request again. I'd love to read more of your fabulous work. I hope you have a good weekend! Take care!
celticbard Report Review
Hello this is KaraBlack returning your review request from TGS! ^_^
At first, I was a bit struck by the fact that it was in third person, I was surprised to say the least mainly because it definitely wasn't expected at all. I haven't read something in third person in awhile, so it took me a bit to get used to and this is my first time reviewing a 3rd person story so I'm not exactly sure of things that should or should not happen in it but I'll try my best. =D
Alright, firstly, I was very very confused, the way that it went backwards, Even the Author's Note at the bottom and "The End" at the top. Although, I found it to be a very clever idea! Confusing, but extremely clever and absolutely brilliant. I found this new way of writing something very interesting, not traditional in the least and honestly one of the most unique stories I've read purely from a structural standpoint. Absolutely amazing, although, I'm sure that you'll encounter those who won't really see the quality to a story written this way, but too me, I found it quite awesome =)
Characterization: I found that Minerva's character was very well written, her attraction to Tom seemed to have a timely air to it. Where it was there and subtle but there was also a bit of irritation that she had with him also, based on his quietness and knack for finding her at all times. I also think that she appreciated the fact that he was a genius but that also irked her a bit as well. I like how she progresses...or...regresses? (Since the story is going backwards)
While reading this, I started thinking of all the things that I learned in my English class, looking for symbolism and allusions and trying to find meaning in the little things! It was very interesting to try and take this apart to see what it all meant (Although, my analyzing skills have fallen short recently...during the summer time I pretty much throw my brain in the trash =P)
Overall: There is no doubt in my mind that this story is fantastic. I really enjoyed it! Report Review
Oh wow, though I didn't quite understand the timeline at first -it was very confusing, as you pointed out in your author's note- I absolutely love your idea of reversing the story. It's just plain confusing in the beginning, but in the end I thought it was a brilliant idea.
This is definitely one of the best Minerva/Tom stories I've ever read, I really enjoyed how their relationship developed throughout the story -even though you started at the end of their friendship, the development was very clear.
There is one thing I don't quite get yet, what does Minerva mean when she says she's already won in the first scene? Does she refer to the chess game in the last scene or is it something else I have missed out on?
Anyway, very well done!
10/10 Report Review
It's Jane from TGS here with your review and I'm just going to apologise in advance because all of my squeeing probably isn't going to be all that helpful...
This is captivating, completely and utterly captivating! The only stories I have ever read in second person have been by you and because of you I now love second person desperately, despite how some other people feel about it. It suited this story perfectly and I think that your willingness to go out there and write in this way really is a testament to what a great author you are.
Your style was utterly flawless and so innovative. The idea of doing it backwards was refreshing, but the piece still made perfect sense.
The more I thought about this story and considered it, the more I seemed to pick up on and understand. I love how you illustrated Minerva's attraction to the dark and mysterious things with the use of sunlight and the descriptions of it, and the 'potion' that Minerva had discovered to protect herself against the sun also appeared at the time where Minerva found herself impervious to Tom's charms. It was fabulous. -Desperately hopes that she picked it up correctly-.
Every single word seems so carefully chosen because it works so well within the piece, but it also manages to flow brilliantly. None of it is stilted, which clearly shows what a good grasp you have on the language.
I loved your characterisation too. It was a wonderful take on Minerva; she's big headed about her intelligence, but this gradually decreases as she is faced with Tom's brilliance. She clearly has a taste for the finer things in life and an attraction to mystery. I love Minerva's initial attraction to Tom, but she isn't overly soppy and I think her growing sickness of his big head and anti-social behaviour is well described as the piece progresses.
Tom was never one to give up and I love how he was so fascinated by Minerva and wouldn't leave her alone until he had won against her, but in the end he realised that he never really had and I was proud of Minerva for getting rid of him and not letting him win or even think he did. He was wonderfully obtuse and mysterious and a wonderful read.
I loved this so much gubby and I am overjoyed that you asked me to review. It's a work of brilliance and I really can't say it enough. And I admit that this review wasn't the most coherent. Lol
Jane ^_^ Report Review
So I'm here with the review you requested, but I don't know if I can give you a professional response, because all I feel like doing is gushing. (:
I loved this piece. L-O-V-E-D, loved it. It was absolutely wonderful in every way. Before I start, I just want to apologize for the lack of any constructive criticism in this review. I have none to offer you, only my deepest thanks for writing such an engaging story that I was able to lose myself in for twenty or so minutes.
What a way to start a story! 'THE END' bolded at the top of the screen caught my interest even before I had started reading. And I can honestly say that this held my attention from start to finish (or should I say from finish to start?). How creative, unique, refreshing, captivating... I'll just stop there, shall I? :)
Your style is wonderful! I felt like I was reading a classic. Nothing seemed contrived, it all flowed so wonderfully. You truly have a way with words and I'm blown away! I honestly don't know what else I could say. Perhaps I could borrow some words from you? Haha. :) Basically, I'm in awe of your writing and hope to, one day, understand what it is to have such talent. You're easily one of the best writers I've come across on this site, and after one story, I am adding you to my favorites. Not just this story, but you as well.
I suppose I'll end this review here. There is so much more I can comment on - how real and well-rounded your characters are, how detailed and descriptive your imagery was, the deep-rooted symbolism - but, I will spare you from reading a novel for a response. Thank you so much for requesting, and please come back to request again. Pretty please? (: Oh, and an easy 10/10 for you. I'd give you higher if I could.
GinaAuthor's Response: Three months and no response! I feel awful, Gina, please forgive me. But every time I come to try, I keep feeling so warm and fuzzy and bewildered that I don't know what to say! So first and foremost, thank you. This review completely floored me.
The little things in the formatting - THE END, the author's note and title at the end - that was done as I was posting, to tell you right away that something isn't right. I'm so glad it worked - I was worried that it would just confuse/turn off potential readers. But of course, I was way more concerned about reverse chronology, so thank God it worked at all.
A classic? Seriously? Wow, thank you! And if you don't know what to say, imagine the position I'm in :P Honestly, though, you already are extremely talented (and popular!), so all I can do is blush and be grateful that someone like you could think so highly of me.
I'd be honored if you would look at some more of my stuff! This glowing review is making me glow, I've read it so many times. Thank you - a thousand times, thank you. Report Review
This story has made me very, very happy. It's hard to explain why without bursting into insane squees, but I'll try my best. :P The fact that it's a Tominerva is quite exciting - there aren't many on the site at all, and I love how you explored their "friendship" instead of a romance. It has let you get into more character development for both of them and to create a more plausibly canon situation.
The way you have organized the story makes perfect sense. When reading it, I found that the parts built well upon each other in the order you have them. Time may be backwards, but the bits and pieces of emotion and psychology all led to that ending point. *is probably making no sense* I tried reading this story the other way around, and it didn't work - the story needs to be in the order you have it. I can mentally picture it as a DVD where you watch the last chapter, then keep rewinding back through each part. It's a fascinating way to write a story, and you pulled it off wonderfully. :)
It was a delicious read. The characters were really well characterized, both of them suiting their canon selves, and also with that extra bit that I love to see fanfiction writers adding, making the characters their own. I enjoyed how you wrote Minerva (and I'm picky with reading her, just so you know). The use of the "you" for Minerva was surprising at first, but it worked to bring me more into the story - I had a clearer visual image of the whole story than I usually get. The sexual tension between her and Tom was perfect, clearly there but not exploding into a slobbery mess. :P They meet as intellectual equals, not as passion-infused teenagers.
I haven't been this excited about a story for some time, and it's only a one-shot too! I love a lot of stories, but this one's just about reached the absolute top of my list of favourites. When I read it last night, I was SO HAPPY that I would have written the whole review in capital letters and most of it would've been unreadable. Your genius is amazing. ^_^
There is so much more I could say, but then this review would be much too big, and too insane to respond to. Thank you for writing this, Gubby. *squees*Author's Response: So we all know that I suck - or at least we should know. I am SO SORRY for taking this long to respond, but I really did not know what to say. I still do not know what to say. (Can you tell I am trying to avoid contractions to get away from the slash things?) So before I say anything else, I want to say, Susan, that you made my life. Literally.
For whatever reason, I see more and more Tomervas popping up all the time... quite recently, in fact. I usually do not read them because I know they can be written rather... badly? Anyway, yes, they are very difficult to do right and with your fic and the fic Kalina wrote, I cannot imagine many people besting those relationships. I was going to go deeper into the romantic side of their relationship - show some sort of seduction and the like, but it did not feel right to me, so I let things go up in the air.
The reverse chronology was slowly killing me, I have to say :P I have been enamored with it for a long time now, and felt that it would work with this story... it just took a long time to get it right. The last two scenes, and the first two chronologically, were written in chronological order - my plan was to write the whole thing normally and then go back and rearrange things. But that kind of failed, so I wrote the rest of the fic backwards. I really am overjoyed that it made sense to you and that you enjoyed it :)
I have had issues writing both Tom and Minerva for a long, long time, ever since NaNo 07, when I tried to write a Tom Riddle/OC fanfic. Failure on so many levels. So naturally I was terrified about characterization here, so I tried to stick to their canon selves and build off of that to try to not psych myself out too much :P I cannot say why I chose second person for this one, but it felt right from the beginning (I just realized how often I have said something about it having felt right or whatever). Then again, second person is really my favorite POV because it is unobtrusive and usually gives me a narrative voice that I really like. I am glad that the sexual tension did not explode - it was going to, but a lot more subtly than that, but I was getting impatient and the fic was more about them than them being together. If that makes any sense.
As I said, Susan, you literally made my life. I just... you are a legend, and bestowing this sort of praise on little old me... I am sure that I do not deserve this. But because you made my life, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. Report Review
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