Reading Reviews for Illuminations
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SereneC Captivation

1st June 2011:
Ah! Hoorah for Helga/Salazar fics! This looks great so far, and if you ever pick up fanfiction again, definitely see if you can finish this up. :P Especially since there are never enough good Helga/Salazar stories. I like that the romance doesn't at all consume the story--the adventure is compelling enough as is. :)

Author's Response: Hahaha! Thank you Brandi :D I love your review and I will definitely get this fic started up again. Thank you!

-Sarah


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Review #2, by WeasleyTwins A Bitter Pill to Swallow

14th September 2009:
Hello Sarah! I'm back again for TGS's Frantic Frenzy!

Before I actually begin reading, I have to comment on your summary. HECK YES! That's what I thought when I read your summary. Then I read it again and thought, THIS IS EPIC. The synopsis just screams epic, like literally. There's a little man hiding behind your banner belting out, "EPIC, EPIC, EPPICC." Now, on to the story! [epic enough paragraph for you?]

Wow, I like it! Seriously, this is epic. By and far, this is so fresh and entirely refreshing in the world of the Founders. "The bucket's content sloshing around violently, Helga worked to steady it before the contents were displayed all over her smock." - Great opening sentence. Not necessarily action, but you didn't begin with a dreary description of birds twittering madly, so it was awesome. The first paragraph in its entirety was just splendid. It was icing on the cake, and I haven't even delved into the cake yet!

Your characterization is the sprinkles on the perfect icing of the perfect cake. I'm telling you, either I'm really hungry, or this first chapter is making me hungry for more. [I believe it's the latter.] This was a delicious way to spend my time instead of doing my homework! I digress. Okay, so this characterization is rich. Helga a maid and Salazar a...well, we don't quite know, but I like that. The two are very old-fashioned, super not-modern, as they should be.

I just don't know what to say. The descriptions made me want more, I was almost drooling, seriously. Sarah, I cannot describe to you the influential gravity of your writing. The only thing I saw that needed work was a few typographical errors, nothing overly worrisome. There's something about your writing. I don't know if it's confidence or what, but it has me sucked it.

LOVE it, 10/10

Shelby

[favorited!]

Author's Response: I can't even begin to respond to this. I just CAN'T. This review has been possibly the best review I have ever recieved. I am left speechless and with my eyes tearing up :) All I can say is thank you. This has inspired me like no other review :)

-Sarah


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Review #3, by J E P Andela Captivation

18th August 2009:
Oh, I really hope things will go well for Helga, and that she might produce something as grand As Salazar.. This is a really good fic, can't wait for it to continue.. Truly great, really.. And when will they meet Godric, and Rowena..
To be continued eh?

10+/10

JP

Author's Response: To be continued indeed... :P It'll all come in eventually, and you'll just have to wait for the next chapter I suppose, which will be coming soon :D Thank you for the kind review and rating! These always make me so happy!

-Sarah


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Review #4, by confusedlover Captivation

10th August 2009:
very lovely.

o...a cliffhanger! this story is certainly getting better as it continues to progress further. you did a wonderful job with your characters as usual and i was super excited with what you had in store at the very end. cliffhangers are a favorite of mine. annoying, of course, but a nice way to keep readers wanting more out of this.

your tenses were flawless throughout this chapter! amazing, isn't it? i did notice, however, a few mistakes here and there but i do not think that you have to worry too much about those right now. you can easily fix them if you read through this on your own.

your flow was very nicely paced for this chapter as well. at no point were you moving too slow or going too fast and for that i congratulate you immensely. most of the time there a little moments where thing are a little off but i did not find anything of the sort with this chapter. i could easily have looked over something but i do not believe that the pacing of a story is easy to pass over. the flow is essential, in my opinion and therefore i think that you did a lovely job on it.

overall, i thought that this was a wonderful addition to all of your previous chapters. this is certainly a different sort of story and so far i am really loving where you are taking it. things can only get better from here on though so do come back and request again when you update. nice job. keep up the wonderful writing.

Author's Response: You certainly know how to make an author feeel good :) This review was wonderful and I am so so happy that my tenses and mistakes are getting far and wide :D It must be because of my amazing beta! And you have no idea how happy it makes me to know that my flow and pacing is just right. like you, flow has always been a key feature of a story! You bet that I'll be coming back once I get around to updating! :D And I'm sorry this took so long!

-Sarah


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Review #5, by pinks A Bitter Pill to Swallow

25th June 2009:
Great first chapter--I am curious to see how Helga gets out of her predicament! Keep up the good work

One small typo--you used the word "steak" instead of "stake".

Author's Response: Oh goodness how silly of me D: thank you for pointing it out and thank you for the lovely review!! very much appreciated!

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Review #6, by confusedlover The Wench

25th June 2009:
very lovely.

this was honestly another amazing chapter. it was very well written and although it was short, it was a nice filler chapter. it really opened your eyes to the warnings that Salazar has been speaking of all along. there are dangerous creatures out there and this really helps you to actually take that in for once. your tenses have much improved since the very first chapter and i think that you will be pleased to hear that i did not notice anything wrong with this chapter. you did a lovely job with this and i would love it if you requested again when you post the next chapter. nice job on this. keep on writing, dear.

Author's Response: YES! You got exactly what I was trying to point out :) That makes me so so happy!! And once again your review was so fantastic! You always make me feel like I have an amazing story and that encourages me to write more :D Thank you so much!

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Review #7, by Violet Gryfindor Planning

24th June 2009:
She's so wonderfully resolute; no matter what's coming, she's going to face it and get the job done. It sounds like a Gryffindor trait, but it's also very Hufflepuff of her (I can't explain why, it just feels that way :P). Her relationship with Salazar is fascinating, and I'm eager to see that develop (or destruct) as the story goes on. ;)

There's so much potential here for adventure and action, wow! They're on a quest with the unknown before them. :D I'm curious as to Salazar's past, though it probably has to do with his darker side, the one that makes him the founder of Slytherin house.

That's all I can think of to say at the moment, so good luck with the next chapter! I'm looking forward to it!

Author's Response: I'm so determined to get the Hufflepuff traits right in this story! So hearing that is such great encouragement :D And yes! The action and adventure is definitely what I am trying to create here :) I've always wanted to try my hand at one, and I'm so happy it's turning out fairly well! And thanks again for the review :) they are always so lovely and fantastic!

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Review #8, by Violet Gryfindor Materialized From the Ashes

23rd June 2009:
Although this chapter doesn't seem to have much going on, it does a great job of further developing Helga and Salazar's characters. I was curious about Helga's history and was trying to figure out Salazar's role in the castle, but now I think I have a better grasp on them both. It's fantastic that you don't give everything away at once, but instead feed the readers bits and pieces with each chapter. It makes it a far more interesting story to read. :D

Sorry for the short review, but I really want to see what happens next. ;) This is a great story so far - you make the Founders era exciting to read!

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! I'm so glad it's coming across that way ^__^ And I am exceedingly happy I'm making the founders era fun to read! I'm finding it a lot of fun to write! Thank you for the review, they are always so appreciated ^_^!

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Review #9, by confusedlover Planning

20th June 2009:
very lovely.

another wonderful chapter. what more is there to say? you have a catchy storyline, believable characters, twisting events- i am really loving this story. your characters are fascinating in the very essence of the word and i think that is one of the things that is really amounting for my gratitude. i have read so many stories with weak main characters but you are doing a nice job of keeping yours strong and evident.

as for the errors. not that many once again, but here is what i found:

Salazars...should be Salazar's.

olds...once again, this should be old's.

overall, i thought that this was another very pleasant chapter. this story is progressing so well and i am really having a wonderful time reading it. do request for another review when you post again. i would absolutely love to see what you come up with next for this story of yours. nice job on this chapter as well. good luck with your writing and have a wonderful week.

Author's Response: What a lovely review ^_^ You are so encouraging and I have a feeling that with all these reviews I am re-reading I am going to get the motivation to write chapter seven! Thank you so so much lovely, all these reviews are so helpful and I love improving!!

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Review #10, by confusedlover Materialized From the Ashes

20th June 2009:
very lovely.

this was another amazing chapter. i love the simplicity found in your writing and the mild and readable transition between your chapters. some authors have a difficult time adjusting from chapter to chapter but you honestly did an amazing job with yours. this chapter was so easy to get into.

as for the tenses. i really did not notice much in this specific chapter but here is what i came up with for overall errors:

The truth of the matter was the Helga was not a strong enough willed person...should be that, as you know.

After the butcher had finally let her go to the home it was she had found...all should be between was and she.

Taking his hand. Helga...there should be no period.

overall, i thought that you did a wonderful job on this third chapter. as i mentioned, i really did not find much for tenses in this chapter so this was an improvement from the previous chapter that i read. that is nice to know, isn't it? nice job on this. keep on writing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! Once again such a helpful review and I am definitely going to be editing up the chapter quickly to fix those mistakes. I am so glad my tenses are getting better. I don't know how I got into that habit! Thank you so much again!

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Review #11, by confusedlover Faceless on the Floor

14th June 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that this was another amazing chapter. your descriptions are beautiful and the quest that you spoke of in this chapter really heated up the storyline a bit. of course, that was your intention, but as a reviewer, i feel required to speak of everything that i pick up on and that was one of those things. your pace is improving in a steady way and that seems to be the easiest to follow for most readers.

your characterization continues to take my breath away. not only with Helga but with Nellie as well. she has the typical qualities of a lady-in-waiting except the fact that she does not wish to be wed and that really adds to this story. her power and strength over Helga is reasonable and easy to understand but you made it seem so simple. congratulations.

once again, i did notice a few more mistakes. what seems to be your main problem is mixing up tenses in a sentence. you start out in one tense but halfway through, one word changes that tense and the rest of the sentence flops. that is one of the easiest mistakes to made besides typos of course but it one the most distracting ones as well. just something to look out for in the future and all.

overall, i thought that this was another wonderful chapter. this story definitely has a bunch of potential and i am really interested in seeing where you take it in future chapters. feel free to request for more reviews seeing as i only accept two chapters per request. i would love to continue reading your fic. nice work. good luck with your writing, dear.

Author's Response: ahhh thank you so so much! Your reviews are always so encouraging and helpful, I am most certainly going to request more! I'm going to try and fix up my tenses, and I have gotten a beta, so I'm hoping that will help :) Thank you so so much for the review, it always means so much to me.

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Review #12, by confusedlover A Bitter Pill to Swallow

14th June 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that this was a beautifully written first chapter. it was abruptly short in length and all but i must say that you did stop it at exactly the right spot. not only did you add suspense but you are allowing for that very anxiety to go on to the next chapter and seems to be equally brilliant.

your characterization of Helga is proving to be amazing. this was only the very first chapter but even so i can tell that Helga has a lot of potential as a character. her attitude is understandable and her fear and knowledge of what could happen to her in the near future really helps you to understand her easier than some other characters and i especially like that. she has great potential and as a reader it is always good to see that a writer has the skill to pull of and make room for a characters growth and alteration.

i did notice a few errors throughout this read but there were only a few of them and therefore are nothing to be too worried about. a simple edit would do to fix them all. nothing too massive there.

overall, i thought that this was an amazing start to a story and i cannot wait to read what the next chapter has in store. the end of this was just too good to get over and therefore i cannot help but to be anxious for the next. nice work on starting out this story. keep on writing.

onto the second chapter.

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much!! This review is so helpful and I just love the reviews you give :) I'm so happy that Helga's characterization is getting such a good response. And you just made me blush by how nice your review was :) Ah thank you for telling me I had mistakes! I'm terrible at spotting them :D Thank you again!

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Review #13, by emerald_nellie Planning

12th June 2009:
YAY they have a plan. I'm looking foward to finding out WHY Salazar doesn't want to go back to his home town. This will be interesting. I can't wait for the next chapter, Sarah, hurry up and get it out alright? Queue closes so you'd better hurry!

Let me know when it's posted, mmkay? ILY!

Author's Response: You will find out soon enough :D And you'll be the first to know nellie :)

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Review #14, by emerald_nellie Materialized From the Ashes

12th June 2009:
And they're off! This is getting exciting, Sarahbear. I can't wait to find out how they find Godric and Rowena. They do find them, I'm assuming? :P Or perhaps not. Maybe I should go read your story summary. Hahahahaha.

Anyway, another nice chapter. I liked the insight into Helga's past and all the grossness that has lead her to being such a tragic character.

I'll go read the next chapter now, schmoopy. :)

Author's Response: Keep assuming things and you might get disappointed ;) I'm glad you liked it again!! :D Thank you :)

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Review #15, by emerald_nellie Faceless on the Floor

12th June 2009:
Ok. Sarah, you've gotten this all wrong. I've got straight brown hair, not black ringlets! XP

"A malignant smile was pressed firmly into her full lips, and Helga could almost taste the malice in the air."

Author's Response: LOL well I didn't want to tip people off she was based after you :P And I'm glad you like that line :) Thank you for the review!!

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Review #16, by emerald_nellie A Bitter Pill to Swallow

12th June 2009:
HA! "Nellie was a vile, loathsome, greedy twelve year old lady-in-waiting to the princess." Gosh that made me lol for about half an hour. I love you, Sarah.

Anyway, I'm really loving this story so far. I'm dying to find out what it is that Nellie knows... WHAT'S THE BIG SECRET?

I think the way you've characterized Helga and made her a servant is really quite interesting, it's something I've never seen before. So kudos to you, hun! And I'm really looking forward to reading more about this Nellie girl. She sounds positively delightful!

Lots of love from your REAL Nellie

Author's Response: LOL I'm so glad you just loved that Nellie :P You found out! I'm sure she would seem so delightful to you smelly nellie :D But I'm glad you like my characterizations :) Ahaha! I love you the REAL nellie.

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Review #17, by Tinkerbell01 A Bitter Pill to Swallow

11th June 2009:
Hello Sarah (if that's not your name, please forgive me, but I think it is from TGS, right?) Anyway, I think this is really well written! You've got the characterizations of Helga and Salazar beautifully done!

From what I can tell of the plot, it reminds me of a spin-off of The Princess Bride, but with a twist! And I absoluetly love that movie! I only noticed one spelling mistake at the beggining with chores when you didn't add an 'h' a couple of times. But other than that, I didn't find anything wrong dear!

I'm interested to see where you plan on taking this, so feel free to drop by my thread and request the second chapter! ;)

Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Darn my spelling XD! But I am so glad that the characterizations are being responded to so wonderfully, it's a great thing to hear :) And I might just take you up on that sometime :D Thanks again!!

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Review #18, by Violet Gryfindor Faceless on the Floor

8th June 2009:
Oh, oh! I rather like the quest Nellie has demanded of Helga, and her idea for using the cup is brilliant. She reminds me very much of Umbridge, all girly and stupid on the outside, but scheming and terrifying on the inside. *shudders* I thought she'd be a more comical character, but she's rather more diabolical, and I love her for it. :D

The way you've set her against Helga's simplicity and humility is unexpected, but very well-done. You're wonderfully consistent with Helga's role in society; she doesn't even know anything about magic, only that it's a bad thing to possess. She's so hopeful and I so want her to succeed at this quest. You've made her a character one can easily root for because she's such an underdog. :D Excellent work on this! I'm exciting to read more.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the quest and her reasoning for using the cup! Ahah! I didn't even see the Umbridge connection until you pointed it out. Thats a really good way to look at her :D Yes, I had to make Nellie diabolical ;) Your reviews just make me so happy! I'm really glad I'm keeping consistent with her roles, it's a new experience writing in a different time such as this. And I'm glad I've made her a character to root for :D She certainly is an underdog! Thank you so much for another great review :)

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Review #19, by Violet Gryfindor A Bitter Pill to Swallow

8th June 2009:
After reading the other two reviews, I had to check out this story, and wow, both of them were very right about it. :D It's really well-written and unqiuely plotted. I'm not one for Founders stories, usually, because they all seem to be the same. Yet here, I think you have something special.

I like how you've characterized both Helga and Salazar; it's especially interesting to see Helga as a servant, trying to keep her magic hidden from the world. The blackmail idea is fantastic too, it adds both suspense and a touch of humour (as I can just imagine that Nellie is one of those hilarious spoiled girls :P). The characters, setting... all of it seem so real, and that makes this a delicious read. ^_^

I'm definitely adding this to favourites and checking out the rest of the chapters. :D

Author's Response: My ego can't handle all these niceties XD I have something special? You have no idea how great that makes me feel, I've always striven for a different story :D I'm also glad my characterization is going over well! I'm happy I went with this plot and not the other one XD And Nellie is definitely one of those spoiled girls :P This review just added to the great day I'm having, thanks so much! :D

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Review #20, by Daanana Planning

8th June 2009:
My new favourite story on this site. I truly don't understand why it doesn't have more favs and/or reviews. It's amazing. I can't wait for the next chapter. And I admire your courage for writing a story set in the Founders Era; not many authors can pull it off. But you are doing just fine, better than fine. Keep it up.

And perhaps it'll look like I'm sucking up to you, but that's not it. I just really like this story and there just are too few stories like this on the site (:

Author's Response: Oh wow. This review made my day. You just boosted my ego so much that I'm having a hard time keeping my head straight. I'm so glad my first attempt at a founders story is working so well, and getting such a good response. Thank you so much for a great review

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Review #21, by Eridanus A Bitter Pill to Swallow

6th June 2009:
I can't believe that this story doesn't have a single review yet! I've got to admit that I've never read a founders fic before, but I'm really interested to see where this goes ^_^.

Your characterisation of Helga and Salazar so far is lovely and I am definitely getting a hint of the characteristics the houses are supposed to have; Helga working hard all day and I just had to laugh at the thought of Salazar lurking in the shadows.

Your descriptions are lovely too, I could see everything clearly in my head and I thought that you managed to describe everything extremely vividly. It really was fantastic.

I did think that she would maybe be a little bit more shocked upon initially finding out that she had been discovered, this could maybe be achieved by lengthening the conversation slightly, other than that I spotted a couple of typos, but they'll be easily fixed.

I really really enjoyed this chapter and I'm going to read on and most likely add it to my favourites so that I can keep track of it! And on a last note, this story deserves a banner to encourage more people to read it, because it really has a lot of potential ^_^.

Author's Response: Wow my first review on a new story :D These always make me so happy!! I'm glad the houses are showing through my characters! I've always had issues with characterization. Woo! My descriptions are good too?! That's a double whammy for me! I'm just so happy and your review just encourages me to write :D Thank you so much! PS. I got a banner! It's just so amazing too. I'm in love with it.

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