Reading Reviews for Why Me?
  
1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LuckySeven Worst Day Ever

14th June 2009:
Hello! :)
Ok. Before I begin I have to tell you that you should never, ever write your summary to say 'I suck at summaries' -even if theres some crazy person threatening to hit you with a sock full of pennies! Don't do it.
It makes the reader think, 'well if they can't write a summary then why should they be able to write a story?'
Also, the 'just read it' for your chapter summary doesn't help you either.
When you write a flashback or a flashforward it's a good idea to italicize your words, because it helps the reader distinguish the different sections. :)
I think that you might have a neat concept here, but it's hard to tell. I'm not going to lie to you, this story needs a lot of work. But if you try you'll be very proud of your accomplishment. I went through the same thing.
Your grammar could use a little work. (it's mostly just spelling) and the way Hermiones' dad has a complete mood swing in the middle of their talk kind of seemed off. The parents almost sounded like teenagers in places. Hermione seems a little out of character as well.
I'm not trying to be harsh here and if it seems that way, then I am really sorry.
I really think that you have a lot of potential. Maybe you could go to the forums and get a beta. There are huge sections there that are dedicated to helping you improve.
I hope that I helped you. Please don't think I'm trying to leave you a flame, because I'm really not.
Huggles,
LuckySeven

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login