Wow that was great!! You used all their emotions well and portrayed them amazingly.
You described Remus really well when he was a child! I love his character (he really is my favorite of the books!) and it was interesting to see what his life was like before Hogwarts and Sirius, James and Peter.
Zoi, what exactly is she? She seems so out of this world and almost unhuman even though she is. Is she? She was sweet and I loved her character!
The last scene was so powerful. It was brilliant so you really got the mature scene down!!! You made the emotions clear and it was well done!
Wow this is londer then I had first expected it to be!!!:P
100/100Author's Response: Hi! Remus is one of my favorite charates too, mostly because he was such a good teacher! I knew that this one shot wouldnt have much of his Hogwarts life, so I used his childhood as a background, and loved writing him so young, by the way.
I thought Zoi as a Squib, not able to do magic but she is entirely human though. Im going to rewrite this piece and put some more info about her, because she is a little too scetchy, even for a one shot. Im glad you liked her though.
Thanks, I relieved that you liked the mature scene, it was edgy for me. Thank you so much for the review!
There was so much emotion in your story. It was really sad at first, but it's so pretty. Good job.Author's Response: Thank you for the review and the compliment. Im glad that you liked the story, and that the emotion came through, it means a lot :) Report Review
i didn't realize how long it took me to get around to popping by your other stories hehe.
however i was pleasantly surprised. i absolutely adore remus.. so you can imagine how this lovely scene affected me :D
im still a bit curious about zoi though... what exactly is she? i figured you were hinting at vampire but at the same time i wasn't really sure.
anyhow, i thought you did a really good job with the last couple paragraphs. you still got your point across beautifully without it being too vulgar or graphic.
good job :)
jessieAuthor's Response: Hello, glad to head from you again! I like the marauders in general and Remus espetially and Im happy that this story didnt dissapoint you, since you like him as a charater too.
Zoi is complitely one hundred percent human, but I thought her as being a squib (thats why she cant do magic) I have left her history for the reader to immagine, since i couldnt do her enough justice. But Im going to edit this story and give some more information about her.
Thanks for commentiong on the last scene, it a relief to know I didnt make too much of a mess with it.
As always, glad to read and respond your reviews, thank you for taking the time to submit them. :) Report Review
This is AngelofDoe here. This is a wonderful story and I think you captured the quote very well in this one shot. I particuarly enjoyed the pairing as Remus is one of my favourite characters.
Zoi is a very interesting character. I like how you made her so mysterious and even at the end leave the reader thinking, what is it about her? And Why is she how she is? I haven't read many stories that can have such a mysterious main character and have the reader enjoy her.
I also liked how you portrayed Remus. How we are given so very little of his life outside of Zoi. This makes the situtation feel even more real because there aren't any 'things on the side' to get in the way of the plot.
I would also like to say there are a few grammer and spelling mistakes. But the best of us miss those. If you have any time at any point, I would highly recommend going through and fixing up the errors. This will just make the story flow easier and readers won't comment on it. :D
Over all. Very well written and I enjoyed reading it.
AoDAuthor's Response: Aw, Remus is ane of my favorite characters as well! I'm glad Zoi sounds beliavable. Honestly i wasnt counting on it, and I will go over this once more, maybe fix e few things, make it better if i can.
To be honest, I myself dont know why she is the way she is, I couldnt come up with a plausible explanation, so I let her be whatever the reader would chose to make of her :P
Ita also good to know that you liked Remus. There wasnt as much as there should have been about him on this story, but something must have carried trought :)
sorry about the grammar thing, and if they irritated the reading, I'll do my best to make it easier. Thanks for the lovely challenge (it was a real challenge writing this story) and the helpful, wonderful review. Report Review
OMG! This was awesome! Are you sure it was your first time at writing a mature scene, because it didn't seem like it! I loved it! I love the relationship between Remus and Zoi. It's so raw, and filled with passion. And I love Zoi's name. It's so unique. Is it derived from Zoe?
This was really mysterious, and it kept me on the edge, wanting , no needing, to read more. It was a so good, I can't even describe to. No words could.
I like how Remus and Zoi were friends first. I could tell there was going to be a kiss at the end. I don't think that this story would've been complete without a sex scene. Excuse my bluntness. I've been known to have that.
My favorite part was the beginning, when Remus had no friends, and no one was playing with him. That was so sad. And then SUPER ZOI popped in the picture, and it made me and Remus happy. IT was so sad when Remus had no friends, just because people thought that he was weird.
Your scene between them was really good, but it seemed like Remus was inexperienced in that area. Were you going for that. Or not? That's just me. I thought ti was. If you wanted Zoi to be inexperienced, you got it there.
Don't be terrified, this was bloody awesome! I LOVE IT! Great work!Author's Response: Wow, *sighs away with relief* Im honestly thrilled that you liked it! I dont mind you bluntness at all, by the way and Its truly satisfying to know that it didnt came out as if I was writing the story just for them to do it in the end. I tried really hard to fit the plot there somehow. Im glad that you thought it was good :)
About the name... Lol! Apparently i misspelled it. Its not a common name where i come from and I thought Zoi was normal... Guess it should have been Zoe! Anyway, i have read somewhere that it means life, so thats why I used it.
The begining is my favorite part too! I figured people wouldnt want their children to play with a werewolf, so he always ended up alone. Only someone else with no friends would play with him, someone who doesnt trust the words of adults - and this is where Zoi comes forth! :P
Obviously, i have a lot to leard. I wanted Remus to sound like he knew what he was doing and Zoi to be a little less experienced... I now have an Authors page, so any suggestions on how to improve are very much welcome.
Thank you for the amazing review and the blush-worthy compliments. *waves from screen :)*
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