Beautiul Story
I was supprised when I heard Hannah and Neville got married
but I think it's a cute ship. I can see Hannah having a childhood crush on Neville.

Author's Response: ^^^ oh, me too. i can definitely picture Hannah having a little crush on Neville as a younger student at least. thanks for the lovely review! i really, really appreciate it! :)

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This is cute. Very cute! I always wanted them to get together, I am not joking. It is very well written.
Hugs
HPB

Author's Response: thank you so much. it is nice to get some feedback from this story seeing as it has been awhile. thanks again for the lovely review.

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great story u have here. it would be great to see how their friendship developp to love because J.K. Rowling said Hannah married Neville. do u like the idea of writing a story of Neville and Hannah?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: thank you so much. this was originally for a challenge on the forums but the ship really does not bug me. it was fun to write but i am not sure that i would be able to turn this into a longer story at the moment.

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Hey, it's patchworkscribbles from the forums(:

Firstly, I'd like to say that this story is so cute. The slight awkwardness experienced between Neville and Hannah was just right - I loved their interaction. I did notice a few minor spelling/grammar errors, but they did nothing to hamper the flow of the story or ruining the pleasure that I experienced in reading this. It's just so beautiful - your characterisation is nailed to perfection!

The one point I would like to make regards the speech. I found it far too formal at times, particularly whilst Neville was speaking. It just didn't sound natural enough - it seemed too false.

On the whole, it was a lovely story and I really, truly enjoyed reading it.

7.5/10

Well done!!

Author's Response: thank you so much for the lovely review. i am glad that you liked this. i was worried about the characterization quite a bit and am very glad to hear that you found it fine. thanks again.

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Hello! I'm here with your review=)

You did a great job with this challenge! I absolutely love Neville/Hannah stories. Your descriptions were very good, and I could really picture your characters sitting on the Night Bus. You did a wonderful job describing what was happening around them.

There were a few grammar/spelling errors, but the only one that I thought interrupted the flow of the story was when you put 'impute' instead of 'input.' Spell-check probably didn't notice it because 'impute' is a word too. This is a really small error, but the story will probably flow better if you fix it.

The ending of the story was sweet, and there was a lot to imagine after the story was over. I think that leaving the readers with a lot to think about definitely makes stories more memorable=) Great job!

I promised I'd review another short story/one-shot, so tell me which story you'd like me to check out when you decide.

Once again, nice job on the story=)
-Emily

Author's Response: thank you so much for the lovely review. i am really pleased to hear that you liked my entry. i actually meant to change that error but thank you so much for reminding me. i will let you know which story that i want to to check out. thanks again.

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I really liked that! You made the conversation flow very well! Hannah was interesting, she actually reminded me a bit about Luna... My favourite quote was

"She was good company and very intelligent to. Intelligent in her own way, at least."

I like the way you show that everybody has their own upsites, if you know what I mean... You should make a sequel where they take their trip together!

Author's Response: thank you for the wonderful review. a sequel is a nice idea. i might be able to whip up something. thanks for reviewing this.

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