Reading Reviews for Sunday Morning
128 Reviews Found

Review #1, by reka Chapter 9

10th April 2011:
That was the worst story ever !! =c

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to finish it and leave this terrific review! I'll try to implement your constructive criticism and hopefully make my story better than ever! :D

 Report Review

Review #2, by irrelevant Chapter 9

29th March 2011:
sorry, but WHAT THE?!?! Story incomplete much? Although if I look at the title again, it kind of makes sense. But still... weird. Defo will check out the sequel if any chapters are up yet, I'm really wondering as to what will happen next. Are you or are you not in love with Voldy? First I thought he was a fake though... otherwise I think that your story is very well written, and the characters are believable. Although I don't understand how the Auror department is so incompetent. Plus, if I were any of the characters, I would have dissilusioned myself almost all the time...

Author's Response: I completely agree with you! XD It does seem rather incomplete, though it is only intended to cover the events of Sunday morning, like the title says. I'm a big fan of cliffhangers (well, when I'M doing them, not when I'm the victim...) and I went with one here. It seemed like a nice way to end it, especially because circumstances would be so different in the sequel. I happen to quite like Voldy (not as a person, obviously...) and I wanted to bring him back. Looking back, yeah, the entire Auror department being wiped out by the Death Eaters is kind of a stretch, if not completely unbelievable, though I like to argue when people bring up the disillusionment that, had they done that, they (James/Aidan/Scorpius/etc.) wouldn't have been able to see each other. Kind of difficult to work together when you're all invisible. If it had only been James, yeah, it would have totally made sense, but being part of a group, I felt it wouldn't have been quite as sensible. Anyway, thank you for reviewing! Glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #3, by SeverusLove Chapter 9

9th November 2010:
Yeah, Harry was pathetic. Ah well, I guess they lost their touch after so many years, eh? They got lulled into a sense of security and lost all the spells they were learning so hard about? :P

Author's Response: Yep, after all this time they're not quite prepared to deal with a Dark Lord and his minions. Anyway, thanks for your reviews! =D

 Report Review

Review #4, by SeverusLove Chapter 8

9th November 2010:
That's odd...

I find it a bit rushed and unbelievably easy... The books itself took 7 years fro Voldemort to work and they took less than a month. Plus, the Aurors were pathetic, LoL.

Author's Response: It does seem easy, though the Death Eaters did have to break out Azkaban, find their way to Hogwarts, break into Hogwarts and overpower the entire castle. Their children got the ingredients together and then they broke out of prison to get the final one. I didn't want to write another 7 year epic, you know? Just get Voldemort into play and go from there. And yeah, the Aurors were pathetic. XD Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #5, by SeverusLove Chapter 7

9th November 2010:
Hah! I knew it! It's the Chamber of Secrets! Wooohooo! *is celebrating*

Lysander was trying to tell James that he didn't what the plan was, as long as he was grouped with Madeleine. --another whooo!!! what were you meaning to say between 'didn't' and 'what'?

Wait...what?!?! You killed off Ron??? How could you!

Author's Response: That would be "he didn't care what the plan was". Another mistake. Geez, you're finding all sorts in this story. And yeah, Ron's dead. I went a little trigger-happy... something I've regretted a little after I finished this. XD Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #6, by SeverusLove Chapter 6

9th November 2010:
You're like, so mean! You killed off innocent little Aidan. :(

ANYWAY, let me guess, er...Chamber of Secrets? Maybe, not sure. What's needed, a basilisk fang or something?

~'DJSevvy: I rock people's world.

Author's Response: Yep, poor Aidan. RIP. You're right; Chamber of Secrets. I won't say anymore though. Even though you've already read the rest of it. But you have people who look at the reviews and find spoilers. So I'll take that into consideration. Thanks for reviewing! =D

 Report Review

Review #7, by SeverusLove Chapter 5

9th November 2010:
Hahaha, LOVED Malfoy's response right there. :P

I don't usually read Next Generation, but this is quite compelling. :)

Also, I am quite proud to have found a slip-up, although not a big one...

get up and move out; james looked up at him --James, is a Proper Noun, therefore the capital "J". :P

~ 'DJSevvy: I'm cool and you're not. HAH!

Author's Response: Bah, you found a mistake! And here I thought I had fixed them all. Thanks for that. XD Malfoy's response at the end is probably my favorite line in the entire story; the character himself has got to be my favorite to write. Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #8, by SeverusLove Chapter 4

9th November 2010:
LoL, the short conversation with Rodolphus and Rabastan was EPIC. :P

*swears* Have to get to the next chapter, NOW.

~'D--whatever, it's quicker not to type it and just click the next button. :P

Author's Response: Happy to hear you liked the conversation! Thanks for your review! =D

 Report Review

Review #9, by SeverusLove Chapter 3

9th November 2010:
Ok, I'll be quick and honest here.

I squealed when Malfoy came around. *squeal!* Malfoy and Potter, partners! EPIC! Oh, and so was the Moaning Myrtle's bathroom thingy. XD XD XD


Author's Response: Malfoy's one of my favorite next-gen's to use, so I kind of had to do it. Glad you liked it. XD Thanks!

 Report Review

Review #10, by SeverusLove Chapter 1

8th November 2010:
*gasp gasp*

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! XD

 Report Review

Review #11, by SeverusLove Chapter 2

8th November 2010:
You silly git,

You did not tell me about your stories. : In all honesty, I had thought it would be as amusing and entertaining and funny as your blogs, which, by the way, is the one that led me to check out your stories. But I was wrong. Well, it isn't mainly about amusing, entertaining, funny but it's so exciting and suspense-filled, and darn well makes me want to read more. I am sooo going to hold this against you. :P

Off to the next chapter,
~ 'DJSevvy

Author's Response: I can never write humor stories unless they're for a friend. I really don't think I'm that funny, but I know what makes my friends laugh so I can write a story that'll do just that. But I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #12, by blueirony Chapter 9

24th January 2010:
Wha-? Bu-! Wha-? No! But... he has to... wait... but... NO! What? WHAT?! NO! NO, NO, NO! Don't end there!

Excuse me if my review isn't very coherent. I'm not very coherent. How can I be?
In 9 chapters, you managed to take me on a roller-coaster ride and I'm still reeling from it. I swear, I stared at this review box for a full five minutes before I was able to sit down and write a review for this.

You're very, very good at pace. This was fast. The story moved very quickly. But, you know what? You made it flow. You made it work. It wasn't too fast. But it was enough that I felt like I was swept away in a really intense, action film and it was just... Wow. Recently, I have been getting a lot of requests from people to read more action/adventure type stories and I'm quickly realising that I can very easily become addicted to them. This is one of those very addictive stories. And, leaving aside the fact that I can't believe you left the story where you did, holy hell. Holy freaking hell. This is awesome.

Right from the very beginning, there are so many things that I adore about this story. Perhaps the thing that struck me the most is that it has a very simple plot. Now, don't take that to be a bad thing, take it as a compliment! It's like a piece of music - the simpler the tune, the better the song. In writing, I think that the simplest plots can really turn out to be the best stories. And it is so very simple. The Death Eaters want to get something from the Chamber of Secrets to revive Voldemort. So simple. But so intense.

Right away, I have to agree with you on your characterisation. You didn't sound arrogant in your request. You simply stated the truth. Your characterisation is very good. James Potter is his own character. For once, he isn't in the shadows of his parents as so many of the other Next Generation characters seem to be. He is James Potter. Not James Potter, son of Harry Potter. He is himself. And I can't thank you enough for that. I'm so sick of reading those "James took after his namesake" stories.

I have to confess that I am glad that Aidan was killed. War is ugly. People die. And with every death from the "good" side, a story seems more real. I don't mean to say that every person who is fighting on the side of light should be killed off, but it just... I don't know. It makes the story more believable. I learnt that in DH. Good people need to die.

Another interesting angle was your choice of using Scorpius Malfoy. Perhaps my favourite dynamic in the entire HP universe is the Malfoys and the tension they bring to any situation. Your characterisation of Scorpius was also very well done. Too often, writers turn him into a sex God (something that I will never understand) and they forget the arrogance. You didn't. Again, thank you. Thank you for not totally screwing up Scorpius's character. It can really be almost painful to read him sometimes, with the way he is so often portrayed...

I also loved the dialogue lines you have between the Lestranges and between then and Harry. Nothing but the dialogue. No description. They just add so much to the story. They provide a break from the rest of the story and, even though there is absolutely no description, there still is so much. I don't quite know how it works. And I don't quite know how you made it work. But you did.

Perhaps my only criticism in this would be your characterisation of Harry. I know that he really was defenceless and very helpless in the situation, but I would have thought he would put up more of a fight. I understand that his death was an eventuality and it sets up the story nicely for James to take the lead, I just think he would have posed more of a threat to the Death Eaters.

What else? I don't really know what else to say! This story is just really well rounded. It's fast paced (and I absolutely LOVE that), the characters are well written and you seem to know exactly where you are going with this. I see you have a sequel for this and, when I get the time, I do want to read it. If it's anything like this, I should be in for a treat.

Ju :]

Author's Response: I'm VERY glad to hear you think I made it work. I always like to hear that. And the ending, yes, that was something I spent a bit of time on. I wasn't going to end it with Sunday Morning and I wanted to leave a nice cliffhanger there. Thank you on the plot! I really wanted to bring back Voldemort, and originally the potion was originally supposed to be a spell, but then I figured the Death Eaters wouldn't have needed anything from Hogwarts to do that. But I'm glad you liked it!

And I'm glad you like my characterization of James! The only fanfiction I've read is what I've reviewed, and so I really have no idea how he's regularly portrayed. I really thought he'd be rather arrogant, honestly, and somewhat cocky. I figured being the first child of one of the most famous people, if not THE most famous person, in the wizarding world would kind of go to his head a bit. He does take after Harry in some respects, of course, and he does have a bit of a hero complex. But he's his own person, definitely.

I'll admit, when I read "I'm glad Aidan was killed," I was like "That's rather depressing... did you not like him or something?" But you're right. People die, and in a castle full of Death Eaters, somebody is going to get killed. I mean, if no one had died in Harry Potter, it would have been very happy and all but not at all realistic. Aidan was actually going to die in the final chapter, but I didn't think that would give anyone enough time to let the death have an effect.

I can't imagine why anyone would portray him as a sex god, but if that's how people see him then that's how they can portray him. That's why it's fanfiction! XD But yeah, I figured Scorpius would essentially be a tolerable version of Draco. Maybe not tolerable to James, but if Harry were to have gone to school with him instead of Draco, they may not have wanted to murder each other. That sort of tolerable. He's an interesting character, though, and I thought he'd make it much more fun. Besides, his arrogance allows me to write some of my favorite lines in the story. XD

The short dialogue bits are a favorite of mine, and I'm glad to hear that you liked them!

I think I may have done Harry a little injustice, as his first appearance is in the fireplace and his next is in the hands of the Death Eaters. He did fight, of course, but he, like the rest of the Aurors, was eventually overwhelmed. I figured that once he had been taken by the DE's, trying to escape from them would have struck him as an incredibly stupid move. Getting himself killed wouldn't do anyone any good. He wouldn't be able to help his kids out that way, and that was what he really wanted to do.

Again, thank you! Glad to hear you enjoyed the story and hopefully you'll check out the sequel and enjoy it as well. Thanks for reviewing and all of your comments!

 Report Review

Review #13, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 9

28th December 2009:
You killed...
My goodness. Are you serious? I can't imagine a wizarding world without him. I know he has to eventually die, but it's not just the same. Especially not at the hands of Voldemort. I guess I would have been able to accept it better if it was someone else who did the deed. Who am I kidding? I wouldn't be able to accept it no matter who did it, or how it happened. Even if it were natural causes, haha. Guess that's what happens when you grow up with someone, fictional or not.


Now, ignoring this, I must say that this was absolutely brilliant. Your writing was amazing, you had few errors, and your plot was interesting and unique. I was captivated from beginning to end. You weaved a story that while completely action-based, still managed to grip me. It wasn't gorey, which turns me off really fast if not written well. It had just the right amount of everything, and coupled with your writing, was enough for a rather good story.

Something that has me curious though. Mulciber mentioned that Harry put up hardly any fight to the imperius curse. Why do I feel like this is hinting to something that I'm completely missing? I can't really sit and think about it right now, especially while I try to come to terms with what happened, but I have a feeling that it's important. Seems like something that would be too random to just place there.

I can't see anything good happening. Who is left to save the wizarding world, really? Their saviour is gone, the aurors gone, two-thirds of the golden trio gone... Everything seems hopeless. With all that you've written here, I can't see how you can defeat them, if you even have plans to do so. Good luck with the sequel though. Should be interesting.

And keep up the good writing!

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I really felt Harry needed to die here. I didn't think Voldemort would let him live for a third time. Harry had escaped death twice, both times at his hand. I imagine he'd be rather ticked about it and want to make sure The Boy Who Lived is dead for good. But anyway, thank you very much! I'm going to go back soon, hopefully, and fix those errors, as I'm aware that there are spelling and grammar mistakes and such. Regarding Mulciber, though; that's him being cocky. He really only wanted to upset James and make himself seem much more talented than he is. There's nothing really significant about the comment; he had some trouble with Harry, believe me.

The wizarding world is in trouble, for sure. Harry's gone, the aurors are gone, Dumbledore isn't around anymore, the Order is... well, I can't really mention anything. I do have plans to defeat them, though I can't say how or when. Thanks for your reviews!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 8

28th December 2009:
How strange.
I had a feeling, but thought it would be completely farfetched, and therefore didn't even mention it. Your reasoning in bringing Voldemort back seems well-thought out though. A potion, one from the Department of Mysteries no less, makes a lot of sense. You don't have to explain it fully. Just the one thing, the basilisk ingredient, was enough to sell me on it. It's still weird imagining Voldemort in someone else's body, especially Yaxley's. In a roundabout sort of way, he got what he wanted. He can't experience it for himself, but the Dark Lord will be doing everything through his body. Sort of seems like a win, to me, haha.

Sorry. Can't leave much of a review here. Have to see Voldie's reaction to coming face to face with Harry once again!

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Originally it was going to be a spell that brought him back, but then I realized that they wouldn't have needed to come to Hogwarts to use a spell or anything and that the entire story would have been pointless and the Death Eaters would have been idiots. The potion worked much better. Yaxley did get what he wanted, though obviously not in the way he'd have liked. XD

Thanks for your review!

 Report Review

Review #15, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 7

28th December 2009:
This chapter got me thinking. Doesn't Harry show many times that he can resist the Imperius Curse? He not only did so with the fake Moody, but with Voldemort himself, and he was...fourteen at the time? I can see them hitting him with it long enough to get to the Chamber, but managing to control him again just seems too unrealistic to me. He fought off Voldemort, so why not a lesser wizard in Mulciber? Just curious.

It's all still very interesting though. I'm glad that Lily's still alive, in any event, and I hope Albus still is. If Harry dies, and if Ginny's illness proves to be that big, at least he'll have his siblings to fall back on. Since Aidan's dead and everything. At least I'm hoping such is the case. You've already shown how much you like killing people, so I'm not good to hope too much, haha.

And Malfoy keeps saving the day. He's really an intelligent lad, and seemingly rather resourceful and skilled. James owes him a lot, even if he wouldn't voice it. He should have been dead many times already, but Scorp managed to keep him going, at least for the time being.

Ack. I should have known things wouldn't have been so easy. Just like that their numbers dwindled yet again, and I can only imagine that the Death Eaters got what they wanted. Now to see if I'm on the right track.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: If you want the honest response, I didn't even think about that when I wrote those parts. Mulciber was supposedly an Imperius Curse specialist, so I assumed he could get the better of Harry at least once. You're right, though. After fighting off Voldemort, Mulciber would be no problem. Then again, the Death Eaters wouldn't just say "Oh look Mulciber couldn't get him oh well." If Mulciber wasn't able to put him under the curse, the others would go at it. He might have a couple hitting him with the curse at once, really. Hopefully that kind of explains the reasoning behind it. I can't spoil anything, so I'm afraid I can't mention how Albus is doing. I AM rather fond of killing off characters, though I think I may have gone a bit overboard in this particular story. Why I'm fond of killing characters, I don't know. I'm not sadistic or anything... at least I don't think so. Anyway. Malfoy to the rescue! James would never admit to the fact that he really does owe Scorpius a ton, because he just doesn't like the kid. He's much more talented than James, which I thought would make it more interesting. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #16, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 6

28th December 2009:
They won? They actually won? Well, that's different. I like it though. Much better than 'And the aurors saved the day, whoopee'. It adds more conflict, and definitely makes things more interesting. I still can't say that I know what the outcome of this will be, and I must say that I want to find out. The entire story has been interesting so far, and I don't know how you managed to make one day span so many chapters! Great writing, on your part. It shows that your plot has depth, as none of the chapters seem like a filler to me.

Red-headed bloke? Was that Ron? If it is, at least he took down people with him! I would have hated for him to just die without an impact.

Got to find out what happens next. It's really getting better as the story continues.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: That would be a rather anticlimactic ending to the story, wouldn't it? "The Death Eaters are here oh no but look here's Harry and the Aurors saved the day, whoopee!" Yeah, nope. Things aren't going to be that easy, I'm afraid. Good to hear you think it's interesting! It's always good to hear that, really. Yep, the red-headed bloke was Ron. Thank you for your review!

 Report Review

Review #17, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 5

28th December 2009:
Why does everyone die laughing/smiling/grinning? Well, not everyone, but those are the deaths that stand out the most to me, anyway; Sirius, Fred, Bellatrix. Anyway, I admire an author who doesn't get too attached to their characters that they can't kill them off. I think it's extremely believable for Aidan to have died, and he redeemed himself enough since the first chapter for the reader to be saddened by his death. It was all totally unexpected, though I guess I should have known something would have happened when they left the Great Hall. Great on you for taking that route.

Can't say James was smart there, but it was funny reading about him saying that his name is Tom Riddle. Really got me chuckling. Then a complete switch in his character when Aidan dies. If not for Scorp, James probably would have gotten himself killed there, for not wanting to leave Aidan's side. You got his emotions down perfectly, and I definitely can't pick on it.

Scorp seems to be getting them out of a lot of sticky situations. The earlier part with Yaxley, the three Slytherins, and now this set. Ursula is mental, and I'm glad for Nott. Still don't like him, but he still did something good, even if he's saving himself in the long run.

Scorp is, as usual, hilarious. A nice little relief to all the craziness. That last line from him had me chuckling. I really do love your characterization of him.

Moving on, then.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I'm definitely not afraid to kill off my characters. I actually went and made a little note of who died during the events of Sunday Morning, and in the events leading up to its sequel, and that "little" note ended up being rather long. I actually regretted killing Aidan off, but I had decided it was either going to happen here, in chapter 5, or in the last chapter. I thought that if he died here, James would have some time to mull over the death, as would the people reading it. If he died in chapter 9, it wouldn't have quite the same effect. James claiming he's Tom Riddle is one of my favorite parts of the story, and I love to hear that people like it. I was originally going to use the idea for a different story, but I scrapped the story and used it here because it fit. Scorpius is definitely helping James out. He'd have been dead back with Yaxley if not for Scorpius. You'll be seeing those Slytherins again, though not in Sunday Morning. Thanks for your review!

 Report Review

Review #18, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 4

28th December 2009:
So they did use fire! Aha, well, just ignore the bit I said just a while ago. It's a good idea, in that it links him directly to his father. I just thought it would be so crazily monitored that he didn't even get that chance. So, I'm glad that he did. Completely risky though, especially after that encounter with those Slytherins. That was great, by the way! I love all these little mini fights, and the way you tackle them. I could picture them well, and felt some for Ivan when he went over that staircase. Seven stories? And didn't die? Must be some troll blood.

Aha. Scorpius amuses me. In the midst of everything going on, he has the time to be...cocky, I guess. All smiling and perching himself on one of the couches. And James being annoyed by it all just adds to the humor. Probably strange that I'm able to smile, even through how serious this story is.

Another thing that had me smiling is Harry, and the way he jumped to conclusions about James and his schoolwork. I guess he's used to getting letters and such concerning that, haha. He did seem too calm, but I guess that comes with age and experience. Not so much the quick to action without thinking kid that he once was. Going to be curious to see what happens when he arrives, especially since he now has proof aside from the words of a few boys.

Moving on!

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Thanks! I enjoyed writing the little fights. XD Ivan actually dies shortly afterward; it's mentioned in the next chapter. Scorpius is probably my favorite character to write, aside from James himself. Glad to hear that you think there is some humor in there. Serious stories are good and all, but too much serious just gets kind of dull sometimes, I think. Yeah, Harry's used to it. James isn't the best student; at least, my version isn't. I figured he'd be rather calm about it because he wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that the Death Eaters had run and taken over Hogwarts. I mean, why would they do that? Anyway, thanks again for your reviews!

 Report Review

Review #19, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 3

28th December 2009:
I just knew something was off with those aurors, and now here's confirmation for that. It's just like last time, isn't it? Traitors in the Ministry. There's always going to be a few of those, no matter what, I suppose. Intercepting the mail was a good thing, as it now leaves us wondering how the boys will get word to the outside, or otherwise what they will do to stop what's going on. I can't say that I felt anything for Sian. That's what greed gets you. And trusting Death Eaters? Really? Idiot move, if there ever was one.

I was going to wonder why they didn't use the fireplaces to maybe get word to the Ministry, but now that seems like it would be stupid. If there are others there working with the Ministry, they probably have the Floo Network covered as well. All seems lost right now for the guys.

Ah, so Yaxley found them. Funny that he didn't try killing Aidan at least, because he wouldn't be as much of a prize for them. But, I guess you have your reasons for that. I find it amusing that a Malfoy essentially rescued them, and curious as to what role Scorp will play in the long run. He's my favourite Next Gen character, and I like seeing all the ways he's portrayed. Can't say that I have found one that I disliked yet, and I can already see that he's somewhat different.

Anyway. Very interested in what's going to happen, so reading on.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: I thought there'd always be traitors in the Ministry, as well. Always someone after the power and such that either the Death Eaters or someone else can provide, hence Sian and Pritchard. And trusting the Death Eaters really isn't a smart idea. XD I think my reasoning for Yaxley not trying to kill any of them was that Rodolphus had wanted them alive, though considering he says "I'll enjoy killing you," it's not exactly a good reason. I may have written my reason down somewhere. I'll have to find it. Hopefully you'll like the way I portray Scorpius! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 2

28th December 2009:
Interesting. I wonder, like James, why Rodolphus let him walk away without letting anyone of the others know that he was present. It's almost as if he is anticipating James alerting his father and the Ministry. As if having them there is a part of the bigger picture. It's the only explanation I can come up with.

I like that you showed that scene between Yaxley and Travers. I can only imagine how much in-fighting or scheming would be going on between the death eaters with Voldemort no longer there to reign. What makes any of those remaining there qualified to lead? Most of them probably think they have that right, especially if they were part of the old regime. So I like that you showed that everything isn't all sunshine and daisies between them.

I like Aidan in this chapter. He's a quick thinker, and doesn't seem opposed to doing the things that will subsequently help others. He could have easily left James to go to the Owlery alone, but he followed his friend both there and back. Says a lot about their friendship, and the type of person that he is.

Oh. Some of them actually took the Dark mark? Wonder what's going to happen with them.

And nice cliffhanger there at the bottom. I don't think their letter reached yet, so I doubt those aurors have anything to do with that. So I'm curious as to why they're there.

Nice chapter.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Rodolphus has his reasons, of course, and those will be mentioned later. Yeah, I didn't think that everything would be perfect between the Death Eaters; not everyone would be happy with whoever is currently leading them, and there's bound to be fighting between them. I keep thinking of Aidan as sort of the Hermione to James' Harry. Only Aidan isn't as smart as Hermione and James isn't as lucky as Harry was. That, and Aidan isn't a girl, obviously. But he's close with James, and he'd stick with him no matter what. You'll see those who took the dark mark several times, don't worry about that! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #21, by Leigh Kelley Chapter 1

24th December 2009:
Hi there :).

I like when authors start a story by jumping right into the thick of things, just like you have done here. First chapters that are purely introductions get bland fast, so I am glad that you decided to give us a taste of the plot from the start. And let me tell you, this seems very interesting. I never would have imagined placing death eaters in the next generation era, and you've done it in a way that's very believable so far. It's very unique too, and a great take on my favourite era.

As for the characters. Aidan amuses me greatly. He seems completely wimpy, especially since he only inspected a bit of the seventh floor before fleeing back inside to alert James that something's wrong. I don't know; it just seems like an overreaction. Of course, it was smart on his part now that we saw he was right, but he did seem like a big wimp in the beginning.

I like James. He's different than the usual interpretations of him, and I can get that even from just the first chapter. I guess it's because your story is more serious, and doesn't center around romantic drama. So he just seems carefree. I like how he was able to calm down Aidan, even though he was scared himself as well.

Poor Professor. I wonder why they killed him and left the others. I presume he was trying to defend or something?

Oh boy. So James was spotted. Wonder what's going to happen now. I hope they don't get captured, but that seems next to slim right now. Considering the man's grin, I guess James plays an important part in what they are looking for? I'm no good at guessing these things, so knowing me, I'm way off, haha.

Anyway. It was a good starting chapter. The characters were introduced in an interesting way, you gave enough to keep us interested, and your writing is excellent. Can't wait to read more.

~L. Kelley

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you find it interesting already; that's always a good thing! Yeah, every time I reread the chapter, the more I think that Aidan does seem incredibly wimpy. I suppose my reasoning was that if he was to just head downstairs and get himself caught, James likely would have slept through the entire day and, well, nothing would have happened. I could redo that part, I think, and just have Aidan trying to wake him up instead. Anyway. I rarely read any fanfiction (the only ones I've read are the ones I've left reviews for), so I'm completely ignorant as to the usual interpretations of him, but I'm glad to hear he's different. As for why they killed the professor, I never actually had a reason for that, so we're just going to go with yours because it works quite well. James does play an important part to some degree. Anyway, thanks for your review!

 Report Review

Review #22, by Tinkerbell01 Chapter 1

21st December 2009:
Tink here from the forums with your review! Sorry for the extended delay.

I have to say that this is a very unique and original story you've got going here. You seem to have all your characters spot on and Aidan is turing out to be an interesting OC.

Your descriptions are very good, and your flow is just right. You keep the story in check.

I'm sorry I don't have much to critique on, except I did notice one spelling mistake while reading. You've got a very excellent start here to what seems to be a promising storyline!

Well done.


Author's Response: Thanks! I'll be sure to go back and find that mistake. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #23, by slithern_ice_elf Chapter 2

20th December 2009:
Ohhmy, very good.very suspensful. I like it. :)

Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you and thanks for review! Merry Christmas to you as well!

 Report Review

Review #24, by kandekisses Chapter 9

20th December 2009:
Your kidding me right? You can't leave it like that!
OMG..Harry's dead Neville's dead most of the aurors are dead Voldemort's back. Seriously? What in the world is the wizarding world going to do? It's not looking to good for them.

Honestly Linus, this story is bloody brilliant! All of this happened in one day? Wow you are truly a talented writer and I must say I wish I had half the skill as you do. &I'm glad your going to do a sequel because if you didn't I was seriously about to come hunt you down!

This story is going right into my favorites. PLEASE come by my thread when the sequel comes out. I'd love to read it!

Author's Response: But I did leave it like that! XD

Thank you so much for your compliments. I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the story. Not only a sequel, but a third story as well, so there'll be more! I'll be sure to come by your thread when the sequel is out. Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #25, by kandekisses Chapter 8

20th December 2009:
OMG! Voldy's back? What!
Lol @ Yaxley though hahaha. But wow I wasn't expecting that until he started explaining the potion. I'm pretty speechless right now. I don't know what to say XD

Okay I had to take a break to collect my thoughts.
..26 years later? Wow those death eaters are old! Lol still fighting eh?
I'm sorry for such a lame review but I'm dying to see what happens next.

Another amazing chapter!

Author's Response: Voldemort's back, yes! I was going for something a bit unexpected and I'm glad to hear that I achieved it. The Death Eaters are pretty old, yeah. They aren't willing to give up, though. XD

Thanks for your review!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>