I love this so much! Ah, I can't even!
Please update this as soon as possible! I cannot wait to read more :D Report Review
All I can say is: "brilliant". I read your story about the Black sisters' husbands, and I was instantly captivated. Your characterizations are magnificent, and Ariana is one of your most vivid. You make her so...for lack of a better word...real, more than the "mad" person she was seen as in 'Deathly Hallows'. Her relationship with Aberforth is perfect.
Her introduction to Grindelwald (just that glimpse) provided an interesting plotline: so much, in fact, that I said to myself, "Come on, there's got to be another chapter!" :)
The only slight mistake I could find (I am an editor for my high school newspaper, so I look for errors) was one of context, of little importance and sort of embarrassing to write, but it stuck out at me.
It seems that when J.K. Rowling describes "poop", as you used it, she uses the word "dung". Instead of "goat poop", as you have Aberforth saying, it should be "goat dung".
But other than that *tiny* little thing, the story is superb and I can't wait until the next chapter! Please post it soon. :)
angelchaser13Author's Response: Wow! Thank you very, very much! I'm so thrilled that you liked the idea for this story and also Ariana's characterization. If you read anything else by me, you'll probably start to notice that I like to dig deeper beneath some characters and find their humanity. To me, even if a person is mad, they are still human, and still have human emotions. That's what I'm going for with Ariana. But her madness will show a little more at times than others. :)
I'm glad you liked the introduction to Grindelwald, he's an interesting guy. *feels guilty at the lack of another chapter*
Haha, I can see why that's a little embarassing. Yeah, though, you are right, it should. I'll fix that.
Thank you for the lovely review hun. It inspired me to get working on this story again...its halfway done right now and should hopefully be done soon. :) Report Review
Oh. My. God. I really hope that you are planning on continuing this story. It's seriously incredible. The characterization is so spot on, with Albus in particular. It's the little things like "...his once lively blue eyes hard and cold" that really get my attention. You can tell that he is hurting, and how he is angry at Ariana (even though it isn't her fault) for all of the tragedies that the Dumbledore family has endured. Honestly, everything is so cannon that I feel like it was ripped right out of a page of a Harry Potter novel itself. From Aberforth and his goats to Ariana being hidden from the outside world, everything just fell into place.
This is great for a first chapter, let alone an author who has never written in this time period before. I'm excited to see where you are going with this. For some reason, I can't wait to see how you are going to portray Doge. Good luck! I'll be reading.
~RosalieAuthor's Response: Wow! Thank you very much! Yes, I fully plan on continuing this story. Unfortuantely, it just had to take the back seat for a little while until I finished my other novel length story, but now that its done I plan on working diligently on it. Oh gosh, thanks! I'm thrilled you thought the characterizations were correct -- that's really something I'm trying hard to keep canon in this story (save for Ariana's age...she was 14 when she died in canon and 16 here) so I'm so happy that you think I achieved that.
Again, thank you so much! Yeah, its definitely a challenge, but one I'm very excited about. And Doge...ah, I cannot wait until he comes into play either. He should be fun.
Once again, thank you for the great review! It's really inspired me to keep going with this story...because I was debating deleting it for a while...but now I feel all inspired again. Thank you! :) Report Review
great chapter. please update soon!Author's Response: Wow well thank you! I fully plan to asap! :) Report Review
I love it! A very good concept, and very well written.
Please keep writing!Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up very, very soon! Report Review
Wow, your writing style is brilliant and this is a brilliant start to a story. I'm really intruiged by the idea of Ariana and Grindelwald. Looking forward to more! PGAuthor's Response: Ahh! You have no idea how excited I was to see this review! :) Thank you so much! I'm so thrilled to hear that you like my writing style and this story. I agree, the idea of Ariana and Grindelwald is definitely intriguing. :) I'm having fun with this story. Look for an update very, very soon. Thank you for the awesome review and making my day! Report Review
This is truly amazing.
I am completely in awe with your characterization of Ariana; it was as if J.K. Rowling wrote this herself. I'm not even kidding. She is magnificent. She is everything I imagined Arianna to be. You describe everything so well, and you surely do not disappoint with this new story of yours. This may in fact give Daddy Dearest a run for its money -- both are just so good!
I hate Albus in this... which only means that you are doing something right. You capture his frustration with his "horrible" life so perfectly. I am so angry with the way he feels like he is more unfortunate than poor Ariana. Oh, and I absolutely adore the relationship between Aberforth and Ariana. The emotion is just spectacular.
I could run and grab a thesaurus and type all of the synonyms for "amazing" if you like, but I'm pretty sure you get the idea. I cannot wait to see where you are going to go with this.
PaulaAuthor's Response: AH!
First of all, let me say that I squeed for about 10 minutes straight after reading this review. In case it's not obvious, J.K. Rowling is my literary IDOL. I swear, I've talked about doing nothing but being an author like her since I was 11. So to hear that I wrote something that might even be considered worth of her excellence is mind blowing! Thank you so much! I can't even put how grateful I am into a review!
I'm so glad that you liked the characterizations of Ariana and Albus. I don't always stick to canon (as displayed by Daddy Dearest a bit) but I really wanted to make this realistic in this story - to play with some ideas that might not have been thought of before. Plus, I'm not going to lie, the idea of writing all of these characters is daunting. So to hear that you think I got them right is amazing! Thank you again!
Seriously, I don't even know what else to say. I've put off answering this in hopes that I will come up with something sufficient without sounding like I'm a blabbering idiot, but I still can't come up with the right words.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Report Review
I'm very intrigued by an Ariana Dumbledore story. I'm sold! And your writing is very clear and well thought out. Props! Can't wait for more :)Author's Response: :) Thank you very much! I'm glad I've got you intrigued. It's not something we see every day on this site. I'm glad you thought my writing was clear - I imagine Ariana to have a more simple and yet scattered thought process, so I worked really hard on clarity. Thanks for the great review! Report Review
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