17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kat Prodigy

24th November 2010:
best of all possible worlds...candide, right? really good chapter by the way :)

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Review #2, by brownie Prodigy

18th November 2010:
You are a good writer! I would love you to do another lily/james

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Review #3, by namelessness Prodigy

3rd December 2009:
Everything you write is great, and I don't think the chapter was unexciting. It was well written. I hope you continue with this story when you have time.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! This is the story I'm proudest of... well, I guess the jury is out until I actually post the next chapter. xD

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Review #4, by voldemora Prodigy

23rd November 2009:
hey, guess where i'm writing from! home of harry potter, england. and with some spare time on my hands, i decided i should read your update of life & lies, which i sorely miss.

i really liked this pilot, as you call it. it's just set-up, so there's not much to say but it is very good set-up. The dialogue fits with the time and the characters' relationship and of course you have a great grasp on said characters. i can't really remember the immediate details of life & lies so i can't properly compare the two, but i think i like the atmosphere of this better. It's kind of melancholy, which works very well for dumbledore.

look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Haha, I was just in England too, for like a day. Saw no evidence of a hidden wizarding world, sadly, but I digress...

Thank you so much for your feedback - I really trust your opinion, so it's very reassuring that you like the story so far. =) I envision it as quite different from Life & Lies but hopefully it turns out well when I finally update it. *nervous laughter*


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Review #5, by Nait Prodigy

13th August 2009:
Your writing is very precise and accurate in it's descriptions and the slow-paced, calm plot unfolds quite well.
It will be interesting to see how Dumbledore's life runs along (with all the familie issues) and how it turns around with Grindelwald's appearence.

Yet, I believe that you, by now, have already realized one of the main flaws of following JKR's indication that Dumbledore is drawn to his own gender.
The story simply cannot take place in Hogwarts.
This entirely removes the ability to give the reader a different perspective on Hogwarts through Dumbledore, which I found to be one of the most interesting aspects in "The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore".
He has no interest to partake in the Quidditch folly, nor does he wish to engage himself in meaningless social gatherings for those who lack the ability to absorb, comprehend and utilize knowledge.

As it is, while I'm definitely most curious how the story will continue to unfold and that your abilities as author will provide an entertaining ride, I very much miss "The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore", with Hogwarts Dumble and his relationship with Helena. (Which I consider, while un-canon [if you take everything JKR states as canon] to be far more enjoyable and intriguing - partially, of course, due to the fact that a A/G relationship is very, very difficult to write, since as soon as one becomes too descriptive or too close to an actual A/G relationship, one would lose Dumbledores character)

Of course, all the above can be summarized in a: "Great job, nothing less to be expected, but I miss the old Dumbledore story and would prefer to read that one."
But I like writing long reviews, and I really like using brackets to put in some additional personal thoughts.
Ah, on that note, the final one:
(Somehow I am also under the impression that you found it much easier to write "TLaLoAD" [abbreviated to save space, which is entirely negated by this additional passage] - and maybe, just maybe even a bit more enjoyable.) ;)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for all your feedback! I know that we'll lose a lot of Al's character development by not seeing his days at school, but I'm still optimistic that I can compress the heart and spirit of Life & Lies into this shorter version. Dumbledore is basically the same age in both stories so hopefully his adolescent angst still comes across.

I do miss Helena as a character but considering that (in my mind) her romantic prospects with Albus were as ill-fated as his with Grindelwald, I don't think the story will hurt all that much from her absence. The slash level won't be all that intense - it doesn't need to be to tell the story that needs to be told.

Again, thank you so much for your comments and criticism! I genuinely appreciate it. =D


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Review #6, by jman7693 Prodigy

9th August 2009:
Very interesting, but in a good way. ;D I'm eager to see where this story goes. Update soon, please?

Author's Response: Thanks! So sorry about the wait for Ch. 2 - it's been quite emotionally tricky to write, but I'll try to post it ASAP. ;)

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Review #7, by JLHufflepuff Prodigy

24th July 2009:
Wow! Life and Lies was absolutely my favoritest story on here and helped me to become addicted to the site... I'm so glad that you're redoing this ... It seems to have evolved into something that will most likely be an extremely definitive piece of literature! :) I love the description at the beginning, the subtle characterization of Albus... I think it is fitting that at this point his only confidant is an elderly sage not of his generation. You naturally set up the situation in which he will meet Gellert... I can't wait to see how this develops! Sorry it has taken me FOREVER to come and review this!

Author's Response: You are not allowed to apologize - how long, exactly, did it take for me to get cracking on this little reimagining of Life & Lies? =P Thank you so much for your comments and encouragement! It really means a lot that you like the story so far, and I hope that in the future it does not disappoint. =D

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Review #8, by SiriuslyPeeved Prodigy

3rd June 2009:
Wonderful beginning, I'm so glad I found this. I love your slightly tongue-in-cheek look at the teenage Dumbledore, and his skewed perspective on his family. You have drawn a beautiful setting, I can clearly picture Godric's Hollow on a warm summer evening, right down to the gnomes. Great job.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked this - Ch. 2 should be coming soonish. =D

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Review #9, by confusedlover Prodigy

30th May 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that this was an amazing start to a story. you have a lot of potential writing a story in this sort of era and i cannot wait to see where you take this story in the future chapters.

your description was done incredibly well. everything seemed to be accurately described and incorporated and i have no complaints. some authors have difficult time with finding the exact word to describe something in specific but you did not seem to have this problem. i found your word choice very inviting; it complimented well with this story.

your characterization of Albus was especially lovely. you portrayed him in a fashion that i would never think of taking Albus into and i have no complaints on this end as well. i liked the arrogance and selfishness that Albus had in this story and i think that it will only add to the rest of the plot later on.

i noticed a few errors in grammar here and there but only a few. nothing that an easy edit cannot fix.

overall, i thought that you did a wonderful job with this story. as i mentioned before, this has a bunch of potential and i would love to read the next chapter when you post it. nice work on this. keep on writing, hun.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! =) I was most worried about description since I'm writing this story partially as an exercise in descriptive writing, but I'm glad you found it okay. I didn't properly proofread this chapter xD but I'm going to go back and fix the grammatical problems. Again, thank you so much for your feedback!

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Review #10, by inkpot Prodigy

28th May 2009:
Ooo I like this! I've been looking ages for a good Dumbledore youth fic ever since we found out more about him in DH. The tone of your story seems promising and fits in well with the "A long time ago" thing. Anyway I hope you continue this I would love to see how it progresses!

Inkpot x

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it so far. ^_^

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Review #11, by Coff Prodigy

20th May 2009:
I really liked this. I like how you gave Dumbledore arrogance and conciet, and really made him seem like a teenager, rather than the all wise and omnipotent hundred year old that we see him as, years later. I like how you have that character curve to work with, because obviously he wouldn't be wise and as good natured as we see him, as a teenager.

I also like that he seeks solace, almost, with Madam Bagshot. I like how even though he is a teenager, and he is arrogant, he connects with other smart people, regardless of age. I like how he has to seek out older people to get the kind of conversation that he wants. It reminds me of me, actually - the fact that he doesn't mind talking to, or hanging out with people much older than himself. Always in college courses or work I've gravitated towards people who were much older than myself - like I connected more with them than I did those who were near my own age.

This is such a change from We Gryffies - I really enjoy it! Is it difficult, writing something so different? Even the tone, the very way you write, is different, and it really works for this piece.

Author's Response: Thank you! The idea of a cocky teenage Dumbledore really appeals to me - let's face it, we were all jerks when we were teenagers. =P I also see him as an old soul, both intellectually and emotionally intelligent to the point where he's more comfortable with people like Bathilda Bagshot than a crazy young kid like Aberforth.

I needed a break from We Gryffies. xD I guess the only difficult thing in writing this genre is that I'm much more concerned with the quality of the end result - in "comedy" writing, I'm always going for laughs, but I'm conscious of how sophisticated the prose is in a story like this. I'm so glad you like it and thanks again for your review!


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Review #12, by QueenBeth Prodigy

19th May 2009:
yay, another story :D
this is really quite intriguing.
i really like it, i love you descriptions and characterisations.
i'm really looking forward to future chapters :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it thus far. ^_^

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Review #13, by Phoenix_Flames Prodigy

18th May 2009:
Hello, dear! I'm here with your review!

And my goodness, this was fantastic! It really was. It was impressive and completely original. Like... Seriously! How did you even come up with this?

This story really emphasizes your talent as a writer and a thinker. I wouldn't have come up with such an impressive plot in a million years. I would actually like to see this form into a novel. I think it could do really well!

It was excellent to see your take on Albus and Grindelwald, and I think your story could actually fit in with the real series!

But not only was your plot astounding, your writing didn't fall below my standards either! You wrote with a sophisticated sense, which is excellent. It kept with the era of the story. You were able to capture the mood and all the actions and descriptions perfectly! Well done!

There were a few typos here and there, but when your story is as excellent as this, it really doesn't matter. ;)

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I suppose I'm just a Dumbledore fangirl - there might be some copyright issues turning this into a real novel, but it's the kind of book I'd one day like to write. ^_^ I'm so glad that you like the plot and the style and thought it was consistent with the era, and thanks again for your comments! =D

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Review #14, by momotwins Prodigy

17th May 2009:
I am so pleased to see this story! I think you've really captured Albus's immaturity at this age. He's very much a spoiled teenage boy. I really can't wait to see where you take this. I did love the original Dumbledore story you did, and I see this is totally different (I'll miss Helena!). It's sad to scrap an old story but very exciting to start something totally new. I think you did very well making his characterization form to something that will allow the Albus/Gellert relationship to form as it did in canon. Your descriptive skills are very good, and the opening is engaging, even if it does run slow. The dialogue is era-appropriate, which I always appreciate.

Allegedly he's fourteen, but the child acts more mature and sane than Ariana sometimes. - I think you meant he acts less mature and sane, since he then goes on to complain about Aberforth.

10/10 :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I'll miss Hel too, but she really didn't fit in with this "bare bones" story. (Who knows, maybe she'll have a cameo at some point.) I was actually worried about the dialogue, since I'm not terribly familiar with the early 1900s (and even less familiar with early 20th c. British colloquialisms), but I'm glad it seems okay. Gah, I hate when I make stupid typos like that, but thanks for pointing it out! (I've changed it.) Again, thanks so much for your feedback. =)

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Review #15, by doratonks14 Prodigy

14th May 2009:
Haha! I love it!

I'm actually going to be writing a story about Ariana very soon (as soon as finals are over) and so it was when I was searching to see other stories about her that I found this. :)

Well, actually, it was the title that caught my attention. Is it a reference to Voltaire's "Candide" by any chance? If not, then ignore me. But I really think that Candide is a fitting sort of model for a Dumbledore story. :P

Okay, onto the real review - I love Albus's characterization. I can picture Albus being so arrogant and so frustrated with his family. I'm very excited to see his reactions to Grindelwald and their blossoming relationship. That should be fun.

My favorite quote was:

"You've met him, right?" said Albus. "He's a monster. Our own pimply, fourteen-year-old cockatrice."

Hahahaha! That was so funny. I love your vocabulary too.

Okay, I'm going to go now because I'm being shouted at by a two year old to get off the computer. Overall, great chapter. I'm definitely going to add this to my favorites. :) 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you! Well done, the title is indeed a reference to Candide - I was worried that no one would ever make the connection, but you have right off the bat! I certainly feel it fits with what I envision this story will be.

I'm glad Albus's characterization is both interesting and consistent with the general idea from canon of him at that age (I hope). I'm going to shatter the illusion and admit that I found "cockatrice" on Wikipedia, but thanks. =)


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Review #16, by redherring Prodigy

14th May 2009:
Albus/Gellert!! Wow! Sorry, I just love the pairing, and when I saw this on the Got a New Story thread it was a complete squee moment!

And when I actually started reading it, it was even better. I was completely gripped from the first sentence, and I'm completely in awe of your amazing writing style. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Haha, there just aren't enough Dumblewald stories out there, or so I think. =P I'm glad you liked this introductory chapter and I hope you stick around for the rest! =)

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Review #17, by padfoots girl Prodigy

14th May 2009:
Wow. I've been meaning to read "We Gryffies" for some time now, but kept putting it off due to the length. And then I saw this pop up in the recently added stories and I decided that it was definitely time I read something of yours. And I must say, I'm absolutely thrilled that I did. ^_^ I understand that this is only the first chapter of this story, and really just an introductory one at that, but I think it's brilliant.

Not only did you capture the era amazingly, but your characterizations blew me away. I really felt like I was sitting next to Albus and Madam Bagshot, listening in on their conversation. They came alive in my head and you managed to do that in one chapter alone. It was amazing.

I don't know what exactly it is that's making me already in love with this story, but you managed to do it. I cannot wait till the story really kicks off. This chapter alone was amazing and nothing really happened. =P I can't wait to see where you go with the rest of the story and I'll definitely be here to read each and every chapter as they're updated. =]

I generally write more structured reviews than this, but I have no criticism for you. Honestly. And I think this chapter deserves to be praised more than anything, so that's just what I'm doing. =P It was brilliant, I loved it, end of story. ^_^ I'm adding this to my favorites, for sure. Excellent job! Please, keep up the amazing work, dear. ^_^

10/10. ^_^

-Alex

Author's Response: Oh my goodness... Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you enjoy the story so far - I'm a huge Dumbledore fan (as you might imagine =P) and the story of his and Grindelwald's friendship is the most compelling to me in terms of "uncharted" canon waters that are ripe for fanfiction.

Haha, nothing did happen in this chapter, but I hope it's appropriate for a prologue and, let's face it, Albus's life was probably really boring until Gellert came along. Things will pick up, of course, and I'm very excited for when they do.

Again, thank you so much for your kind words. You've made my day! =D


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