Constructive Criticism I can give:

Okay, I love the descriptors and the way that you write. The overall flow of the chapter is something that you should be proud of as it's easy to read and seems to move, whilst quickly, smoothly through the storyline. I do however, honestly think that this would be a much stronger story if it was told from a third person perspective, that being said, it's not at all weak told from a first person persepctive.

Your humour and sense of irony throughout was seen and you seemed very confident in the way that you wrote that and you should be really proud of that.

Otherwise a really good start to the story and I hope to read more from you.

Anonymous Writer.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your constrctive criticism, I love reviewers like you. Most of the time I find people are too scared to say anything minutely critical!

It is a new thing for me writing in 1st person, so I might be a tad rusty. I'm going to keep going with it in this fic and will hopefully improve.

Thanks so much for your review, I'll update A.S.A.P :)

FP X

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Oooh, I like. Most Quidditch stories are about Oliver, so I really like the idea of using Roger here. I always think he's one of those criminally underappreciated characters. I like your OC as well, she seems pretty good so far.

"Go stalk Flitwick, you work-obsessed psycho!" - Ha! Made me laugh.

Great first chapter! I'll be looking for updates :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I've always felt that the Ravenclaw house in general is seriously under-appreciated in the HP books, hence where I'm coming from.

Thanks so much for the review, I'll try to update A.S.A.P but have exams at the min so might be a while. Thanks again :)

FP x

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