Reading Reviews for Traitor
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Alopex A Safe Haven

21st May 2009:
I think this was a neat idea for a "missing moment," describing that scene on the Astronomy Tower from Draco's POV. Even though it's relatively easy for the readers to guess what JKR intended Draco to be thinking there, you described it all quite well. You definitely got deep into his thoughts. My only complaint about it is that Draco seemed a little too aware of his thoughts for all the stress he was in at that time. Like he was over-thinking. I know you had to include all that to to explain Draco's thought process and so the reader wouldn't feel totally blindsided by his decision to accept Dumbledore's offer of safety, but his thoughts did seem a little too detailed and unhurried.

There were two things that surprised me. One, how Draco and Harry managed to squeeze past everyone and make it down the staircase without touching anyone. Two, that Dumbledore sent them to Grimmauld Place. It does seem like the obvious safe haven, and I'm sure that Dumbledore felt Draco had a complete change of heart. However, Dumbledore always struck me as a really cautious type. What if Draco changed his mind again and rejoined Voldemort? Then the Grimmauld Place hideout would be useless. But what other safe place could Dumbledore have been referring to? Gee, this complicated thinking about it. I see both sides of that argument. :-)

Overall, I thought this was a good story. I liked reading about Draco "going good." Draco struck me as a very practical person here, in the way he realized that killing Dumbledore wouldn't necessarily ensure his continued safety in the future. You brought out several good points, even if it did seem like an awful lot for one person to be thinking while in such a stressful situation.

Author's Response: I can see what you mean by him over-thinking the situation, but at the same time, I think (contrary to what Harry believes) Draco was always someone who thought things over. At least in my mind he is. His thoughts weren't really meant to be coming slowly either, they were more in rapid succession and I suppose that's my fault for not elaborating on that point. So thank you very much for pointing that out. Should I ever rewrite this, I'll definitely keep that in mind. ^_^

As for the staircase, I've always pictured everything at Hogwarts to be huge and grand, the staircases included. In my mind at least, they're incredibly wide, so it would be plausible for Harry and Draco to stay out of the way, although only barely. And they were pressed up against the wall. And when it comes to Grimmauld Place, Dumbledore is a very trusting man, is he not? =P But you have a good point that just might come up in the sequel. ;) (Should I actually get around to writing it, that is.)

Thank you so much for the detailed review. It really helped and I'll take all your points into consideration! Thanks! ^_^


 Report Review

Review #2, by Celtic_Dreamer7 A Safe Haven

18th May 2009:
Wow!! Complete disbelief. This is how I wished it had gone in the book. I was sure Draco would have joined the other side if he just had a few more minutes before the Death Eaters had arrived. I really enjoyed this.
Well done!


Author's Response: Thank you so much! ^_^ I really thought that Draco would have gone as well if he had had just a tiny bit more time, so I'm glad this one-shot was enjoyable.

Thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #3, by AndrinaBlack A Safe Haven

17th May 2009:
That was really good! I could hear the voice of Draco so clearly in this story! His dilemma was so clear as it was like it was written in HBP and then the alternative ending to the scene followed naturally. I never expected that to happen when I started to read the story as I thought it was just showing Draco's thoughts during that scene.

I like your ending and it seems really possible. Though it makes me wonder what would happen with Snape. Had he tried to help Draco enough for the unbreakable vow or not? I always wondered about that. How much did he really had to do and when was he forced to kill Dumbledore? Could they all have lived at that moment? But now I'm getting off topic from your story...

I really liked the end too, with "And I found no reason to question him." It just shows so perfectly how he at last completely chose that side. And with a kind of bonding between the two of them. I also liked Draco's ponderings about who he had betrayed. In that it stayed clear that if he had betrayed other people, he had always stayed loyal to his mother, and that was really sweet. Thank you for a really good read! :)

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! ^_^ I'm so glad that this whole scene was plausible. I really struggled at first to get inside Draco's head, but I'm happy to hear that it turned out well!

As for all the questions, there's a very good possibility that I'm going to write a chaptered fic that follows this one-shot, seeing as all these ideas popped up into my head as I was writing this. And it would answer most of those questions you asked. ^_^

Yay! That was one of the points that I was trying to make. Draco could betray everyone but his mother and that's part of what makes him Draco. And the ending kept getting changed until I was finally content with this one, so it's really reassuring to know that I ended it on a good note.

Thanks so much for the review! ^_^


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login