Aww so sad T.T and its so sad because its so well written. Report Review
Oh, wow, Liam! This was brilliant.
Seeing you do a story like this is very captivating. The characterization was amazing, as were the descriptions. I don't think anything could have made this story was amazing. It was a nice difference in your writing!
10/10Author's Response: Wow, thank you Drue! Aha, I haven't touched this story in forever, I totally forgot about it. I'm so glad you like it!
Thank you hon!
xoxox Report Review
I swear the emotion and characters and dialogue was just amazing. I mean, Lily's character was well done. She wasn't perfect. And Remus' character has got to be my most favorite Marauder. I love how you have Lily characterize him as the dramatic one. It just fits so nicely. The flow and emotion just sent me to heaven (if there's such a thing).
I mean, you just worked it! I have always adored this ship. Always. And I can honestly say that you pulled it off wonderfully and I am most proud of you, Liam.
Okay, shutting off the normal Malia. WOOT WOOT! Prince Liam, you're fantasmical. I mean, I was like torn from crying and sighing. This was just beyond great! Like, a toilet. You know the flush! I mean, it was a whirlie! I thought, in the beginning, that this would be fluffy. But, then it got sad and terrible for the pairing, all angsty-like. That's the sound of the toilet flushing (shplurshgurrrgggllle!). I mean, I can totally say that you rocked the pairing and I can't wait until you just pwn the other two parts :DAuthor's Response: Aww, Malia! You seriously shouldn't feel obliged to read all of my chapters, honestly, although I appreciate that you have been doing so, it means an awful lot to me, and to know you like the story is just awesome to me.
How do you mean she wasn't perfect? As in, she waan't "cliche perfect" or she wasn't perfect as in I could have made her characterisation better somehow?
Yay, you liked Remus! Aha, he was a bit of a challenge to write. In the end I just tried to let the words flow rather than force it, and I fear I may have lost some of his canon character along the way. Rather that than forced writing, though, right?
Aha, I love your random rants xD
ZOMBIE JESUS, I DON'T HALF LOVE YOU.
Gah, Y SO AWSM.
Thank you so so much Malia! Report Review
Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful prose and imagery! :D I loved the amount of description and imagery that you used in this story. It made the story really come to life, and I could picture every minute of it in my mind. The emotion in this story was fantastic as well; I really felt like I connected to both the characters, and you did an amazing job incorporating emotion into this story and making it a tangible thing. I couldn't find any spelling, punctuation, or grammatical errors in this story, and the characters were very well developed. Also, your story flowed exceptionally well, and it was very easy to read. It was also engaging and interesting from the very beginning (I mean, who doesn't love a good kissing scene at the beginning of a story? ;) Interesting plot development with the pregnancy; it was a very good twist to the story that prevented the story from becoming monotonous and dreary with romance. xDD
Anyhow, yes, I really enjoyed reading this story. In my opinion, you did a fantastic job. This was a very beautiful and lovely one-shot, and it will be going onto my favorites list. ^.^
I'm sorry that I wasn't able to give more of a critical review, however, there was really nothing that I could pick out!
Fantastic work! Keep on writing!
snowfallingonroses xxAuthor's Response: WOW.
Thank you so much! Really, this review made me gasp when I first saw it, and I have to say it's just made me so giddy, it's actually quite funny x')
Aww, thank you for those kind words. I'm glad you liked Lily and Remus' connection, because some people have been critical of it, which isn't a bad thing, obviously, I'm just glad that you think it worked well.
Aha, everybody loves a good kiss scene! Although I could hardly call that scene "good," because I absolutely FAIL at kissing scenes. It's quite annoying, acutally >_<
I'm not even sure how to go about replying to this amazing review, all I can say is THANK YOU SO MUCH. This day has been kinda crappy, so seeing this review has really lifted my mood.
Wow, just ... thank you! :)
xo Report Review
GAH. *stares ahead blankly as tears stream down face*
THAT WAS SO SAD! But lovely at the same time! :D
Wow, that was really really good, Liam. (: You did well. :DAuthor's Response: Dani, thank you so much!
Your review really means alot to me, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Report Review
I'll start by being honest and saying that I'm not a huge fan of adultery fanfiction (if a couple are married), and haven't read many stories about it before, but I will do my best for you.
I loved the way that Remus and Lily have ways of bringing out aspects of the other that no-one else can. I think that's a wonderful side to your story that really helps define their relationship. It makes it almost seem like it's allowed and legitimate. I would never have guessed it was your first het story. You did a fantastic job of it and you made the pairing really quite convincing.
The emotion that you get across in this is just phenomenal. Every word really hits you as you read. You have a wonderful way with words. I've said it before and I will say it again (countless times): I'm jealous :P If you can write something this good now, I eagerly anticipate your ability in two or three years' time.
I am very confused about whether Lily loves him or not. She says 'I love you', then when Remus says he loves her, she goes all crazy and says she can't love him. I'm not sure if this was an error on your part or whether I'm missing something, but can you clear that up for me? Unless she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't...no, I am confused.
I think bringing in Remus' melodramatic side was a good move - I think that's the perfect word for him. All through his scenes at the start of DH, I was thinking 'Just get over it' about him. He was getting a little irritating with his 'Woe is me, I'm a werewolf' thing and I'm glad Lily doesn't have a problem in turning around and saying that to him, though possibly in a more compassionate way than me!
No happy ending - even better. I really liked the end, actually. It was very well written (what's new?), though I'm intrigued to know why it's the last time she saw him...
I do have one other small issue with the whole story, which is a paragraph about halfway down 'He held her as she sobbed...' to 'embrace'. I think there's an overuse of the word 'sob' and 'words' in such a small space. It made it a little awkward and jerky, but that is the only time I've seen some kind of flaw in something linguistically that you've written.
I think it'd take a lot to win me over to becoming a huge fan of adultery in fanfiction, but I definitely enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would. It is brilliantly written and it was a pleasure to read :)
xx Report Review
Oh, nice work! This was really well-written - that last line really hit me. I think it was one of the strongest parts of the story. I haven't read many Remus/Lily, or really, anything except James/Lily, but I'm open to new things, and while I didn't quite like the fact that Lily was cheating on James with one of his best friends, I think you had a good plot and you followed it up with a really good writing style. Description was sublime :). Your first het pairing? Nice work. I think I should write a slash story some day ... hmm.
Keep it up! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
- Meera :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! Wow, I'm very late replying to this (almost a month), so I apologise you've been waiting for so long.
Well, to be honest, I haven't read much Remus/Lily myself, but they make for very entertaining and interesting reads if you do read them, you should check some more of them out xD
Ahhh, nobody really likes adultery, and I apologise for that, but really, this story needed some more back-bone than just putting them together.
Sublime? Wow, thank you!
Slash is very fun to write. I really would recommend writing it (;
Aha, thanks for the review! :D Report Review
ok so to start with i'm not really one for cheating on someone but putting those feelings aside. this story is really good. it gives us insight into both of the characters emotions and thoughts. its really good.. but i'm glad that they aren't going to be cheating with each other any more.
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Well, I felt it was time to branch out into something a little more controvertal, and what better way to do so than with adultery. Sorry it's not your thing, but really, it's just a fanfiction :/
I'm glad you liked it for the most part, though. Just because they won't be cheating (well, Lily won't at least) anymore, you can't put a block on your feelings. Aha, that's just my general synopsis for this whole trilogy, to be fair.
Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Wow! I love this, Liam!!
Firstly, I love your writing style... the varied use of words and the visuals you come up with are exquisite.
Secondly, you know how to manipulate these characters to your own will. I never really imagined Lily and Remus... its a ship I don't read by my own devices because I never really got any idea that they could really work, but you've switched that all around on me! The way you've described their relationship... the turmoil over betraying James... it's amazing! And I just love the last line... so melodramatic as Lily would say ;].
"He held her as she sobbed, whispered to her comfortingly, although her sobs continued despite his words. Despite his reassurances she continued to sob and to choke on her words." -- this sentence was also pure love!
"She felt his soft lips on his once more, and she knew it was wrong" -- this was your first sentence, and I think you meant to say that she felt his lips on hers? That was the only mistake I found! :]
And of course you can't write a piece without leaving your audience questioning! So, who's baby is it? ;]
Fantastic job, as always!
-JillAuthor's Response: Wow, hey Jill! First of all, thank you for this awesome review, and I'm so sorry I've taken forever and a day to reply to it (it's June 6th! ;C) sorry about that, I've really had alot to. My bad! >_<
Wow, to say that you liked it for the first Lily/Remus you've read is one thing, but to say I've totally changed your views on it is another thing entirely. Thank you so much! That's just ... wow. That's a huge compliment to recieve, so thanks so much. I'm grinning like crazy right now!
Aha, and yes, the last line is very melodramatic. A little cliche aswell, but ahh well x')))
Yes, I certainly did mean to say "on hers." I'll go back and change that now, thanks for pointing it out.
Well, I am keeping as canon as I can with the finer details (such as Lily's pregnancy), so the baby is Harry, and is in fact James'. Sorry if you were expecting any huge plot twist ^_^
Thanks so much for the review, Jill! It means alot to me, thank you, ♥ Report Review
Ah Liam, I adored this.
Wow, that is was seriously some awesomeness here. Honestly.
Awesomeness times about 9 billion.
I love the raw emotion from the beginning between both Lily and James. And the tone shifts throughout the story. The different moods that show how fast relationships can crumble.
I also adore this line:
"Don't call me that. I'm not your dear. I'm nothing of yours, Remus. Nothing."
I was like..."Oh Snapple! Burnnn." ;)
That was pretty jerkish of her to say though!
The descriptions throughout the story were, awe-inspiring. Your hand picked word choice really shines through here. Complete awesomeness.
I love that Remus has a...meaner side to him that he doesn't show. But that you say the words that he wishes he said, like here: The words "You brought this on yourself," ross quickly into Remus' mind, but he refused to speak them. He was not that sort of person.
It brings a difference element to his character. The known and the unknown.
I particularly enjoy Lily's anger. The fact that she is furious that Remus loves her, something makes everything even more complicated. When things got too complicated to fast already. I can understand the frustration that's she's going through but her anger that Remus loves her is somewhat a reflection on the anger within herself (at least too me it seems that way).
The fact that Remus loves her, is all her fault because of the way that she uses him, even though it seems like she would like to blame Remus for it. Blame him for the fact that she clearly isn't being...cared for as well as she would like with James at least.
Aha, I loved this Liam.
Seriously. Loved it.
Great job with your first het!Author's Response: Oh Kara, will you ever forgive me? It's June 17th, over a month since you left this review of awesomeness, so I'm really sorry it's taken this long to reply. I cannot believe your computer is broken. That's actually made me really sad. It could be months until it's fixed? Oh my. I'll definitely miss our chats. Come on xbox live and on the MSN service :)
Raw emotion? YAY. That's exactly what I was going for, so thank you so much. It never gets old to be told I've done a really good job by one as awesome as you, so thanks ever so much honey!
Aha, thank you for that compliment aswell. I wanted to incorporate her fiery nature into it, but in a much more cold, calculating and meticulous way xD
I think we saw Remus' meaner side in Deathly Hallows, when Harry was insulting him, and I think this would be a trait he's generally had throughout his life, but he just never "unleashes" it until it's absolutely necassery, and I thought it'd be just right to use in that scene.
Ahh, they do have that whole "it's complicated" thing going on, do they not? ^_^
Thanks so much, Kara! You never fail to make me smile, and I hope your internet is fixed very soon! Love you!
xox Report Review
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