aww so sweet sad and good all at the same time!!!
10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much!! Report Review
I was planning on reading this, and then when I clicked on the Random Story link, I got this!
So, anyway. I really liked it, you did a great job in showing Dumbledore's feelings. The names of his friends (Nicodemus and Proteus) are great, love them. One thing I've got to say though is that it was a little confusing when it suddenly changed from Dumbledore's memory to Snape talking, I was a little confused for a moment, but I now I read through this again I actually can see that it works pretty well. :)
Anyway, great job! A wonderful entry to the Staff Challenge, and a good story idea!Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this fic and that you liked my portrayal of Dumbledore. It was fun thinking up interesting names for Dumbledore's friends. Sorry about the confusion with the change from Dumbledore's memory, I'm glad you liked the way it worked after all though.
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
This was so bittersweet :( To think that Albus died with all of these regrets about things he could have done better, particularly being a better brother to Aberforth. That scene on the train was well done but I wish Albus wouldn't be so hard on himself! He was just acting like a normal older sibling would :D But I suppose at this point in his life, he wishes he could go back and do it all over, knowing the outcome. The end of this story was especially moving, since we know what will eventually happen to Dumbledore. One of my favorite things about your writing is the fact that all of the characters sound like themselves. I hope that makes sense! I never feel like they are out of character when I read your dialogue and you've done well with Dumbledore here. Great job!Author's Response: I think with all that happened in the Dumbledore family that Albus must have suffered from some regrets and I think it would have been one of his deepest regrets that he had become so estranged from his brother. I am always pleased when people comment on my characterisation because I always like to get into characters' heads when I write and I always hope I have been able to find their voice. Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you liked this piece. :) Report Review
I liked seeing Dumbledore's memory. It was so sad! Really great story though, thanks for writing!Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it, thanks so much for reviwing! Report Review
I've been eyeing this since it appeared several days ago, but I was determined to be disciplined and finish "Golden Amulet" first (I will finish it, I will!). Then I saw your discussion in the common room with long_live_luna_bellatrix, and I was sorely tempted, especially since she'd requested a review from me for her story. Still, I resisted. But now that we're posting links for the challenge pieces in the common room, I see no reason to wait. Discipline can go out the window. :-)
This was an incredibly sweet story. I always have a very hard time imagining Dumbledore as a child or adolescent, since he is so firmly established as an older, authoritative figure in the books. I really liked your portrayal of him at that age, though. It seemed in keeping with what we know about him as a young man, as well as with the way siblings often act toward each other. You did a good job with the young Aberforth, as well. I think you really captured the feelings of anxiety and excitement a child would feel upon leaving for Hogwarts for the first time. You got across the way younger siblings look up to older ones as well.
At first I thought this was going to be a cute story about the two brothers as kids, but I was pleasantly surprised by the change in eras. Dumbledore obviously used his Pensieve quite a lot, and I'm positive that he reviewed memories from his childhood in it. The ending, where he sends off the memory, seemes like a very Dumbledore-ish settling of accounts. It's almost infuriating the way that man seems to always think of everything!Author's Response: I know you'll finish 'Golden Amulet' eventually, don't worry too much, take as long as you like. As I said in my PM to you, I'm just glad you're enjoying it. House Cups at the forums tend to have a way of pulling you away from all the things you're 'supposed' to be doing. There are stories I need to catch up on but I too have been tempted by the entries in the May Challenge.
I've said this in a couple of my responses to other reviews for this story, but I had this idea about the two Dumbledore brothers catching the train before DH came out. Originally I actually had Albus as the younger brother, but DH changed my whole perception on their relationship and I abandoned the story. This challenge inspired me to come back to it and rework it so it worked with canon. I'm glad you liked my portrayal of the two brothers at that age.
Like you, I am sure Dumbledore must have used the pensieve quite a bit and it seems natural that he would at times dwell upon the memories of his youth. I'm glad you found that portrayal to be realistic also.
Thanks so much for reviewing. Report Review
Hey there, fellow Claw! What an excellent one-shot. I felt so sad for Abe in the beginning. I thought you did Dumbledore very well - when he said, "I was just taking a small trip down memory lane," I thought: That sounds exactly like Dumbledore!! :-)
The letter was short and sweet and said a lot of meaningful things in a small amount of space. Great job with everything!Author's Response: Hi RGF! I'm so glad you liked my one-shot. I was a little unsure about my characterisation of Dumbledore, so I appreciate your comments about how I wrote him. Thank-you so much for reviewing. :) Report Review
That was really cleverly done. I first expected the story to be done in a series of scenes from different times or something like that, so when the "voice from the sky" came I was surprised. This was very well written and you got the emotions down well even though you didn't spell it out that clearly at every point. I liked and understood both of the brothers in this story. Though it made me think that a pensieve might not be the first magical object I would want. It would be quite uncomfortable to look that clearly at memories when you were not doing as you should have done or as in Snape's case when you were not feeling good in the first place either. That was a really good story and you tied up the past with the present really well.Author's Response: Thanks, Andrina. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this one-shot. I originally had the idea of the two brothers catching the train to Hogwarts before DH came out, with the younger brother trying to catch up, but I never got much further than that scene. Then when I was trying to think of a scene to do for this challenge I had originally thought of doing a scene with Snape looking into the pensieve, but thought it would work much better if it was Dumbledore before he died. I felt that the scene with the two brothers catching the train would fit well with what Dumbledore's thoughts may have been as he approached his death. Thank-you so much for reviewing. Report Review
Hey, fellow claw lllb to review my fellow Abe and Al(bie) fic writer. I really liked this, I can picture Albus regretting things he did to his brother in the past. And having them written as little kids was really cool, I liked the names and the handshakes of Albus's friends. Nice work!!!Author's Response: I still can't believe we both picked to write about Abe and Al(bie) lol. Even though our stories were quite different in content, it is interesting that we both had the same sort of theme. I'm glad you liked my take on their relationship. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
Wow. This was a unique and beautifully written story, one that I think fits in very well with canon and fits the "grown up" Albus's personality perfectly. This was very bittersweet, it made tear up a bit. =)Author's Response: Thank-you so much for your lovely review, I'm glad you liked my story. I always strive to make my stories fit with canon, so I'm glad you thought it worked in so well. :) Report Review
I have to admit that it was very much a surprise when I stumbled over this story while scanning down the list of one-shots this morning. So much for managing my favorites.
I liked this little story very much. (No surprise there.) You were very coy as to when this story took place within the overall series, though I expect it was just before the scene when Harry first saw the pensieve (as a matter of fact, I almost expected that memory to be the one Dumbledore was going to put into the pensieve when Harry came into the office; so much for the great detective!)
All I can say is that it was most enjoyable and I hope that "one-shot" does not hold true. But then all of your stories end too soon. Mine can last forever...If I don't write and submit the chapters, that is. (Harsh Mistress is up to chapter 4, by the way...)
As always, keep up the great work.
Thank you for your story.
Jeff.Author's Response: Hi Jeff.
I wrote this one-shot really on the spur of the moment in response to the May 2009 Staff Challenge on the forums. I had been debating whether to write something for it or not (since I should really be finishing my WIP now my computer is fixed) But when the staff announced entering the challenge would gain points for the 2009 house cup it was motivation for me to enter. The challenge was to write a one-shot based on a missing moment from Half Blood Prince. So this piece actually took place during HBP, more specifically it happened just before Harry visited Dumbledore with the memory he retrieved from Slughorn.
And as the challenge was to only write a one-shot I am sorry to say that it will remain as such. I can promise you that I will soon be posting the final chapter of Gone, but not Forgotten. I also have a series of one-shots that I wrote for another challenge that I will be posting soon as well.
I must apologise because it has been so long since I have visited your author page and I am really keen to see what you have been writing. Time just always seems to escape me. I've fallen behind on reading several of the stories in my favourites.
Thank-you so much for reviewing, it is always good to hear from you. Report Review
Very nicely done. I'm so happy with the entries for this challenge. It's also nice to see a fellow Ravenclaw enter.
Specifically, I thought the part at the start with Albus threatening to leave Aberforth behind reveals quite a bit about the young DD's character. He was vain, arrogant, and sure of his intellect.
The part just before they left to retreive the locket was extremely well done as well, with great characterizations of DD and Snape.
As always, excellently edited...I hate reading stories full of bad spelling and grammar and I know that I never need fear that from one of yours.Author's Response: I haven't read anyone else's entries yet, but I am hoping to read some of them over the weekend. It's great to see so many Ravenclaws taking part in this challenge.
I was hoping that I portrayed Dumbledore's character believably as a young teenager. My impression was that he was a little full of himself when he was younger.
I'm glad you liked my characterisations of DD and Snape at the end too. I had to rewrite some of their dialogue before I was happy with how I had written them and I was hoping my portrayal of them both was accurate.
To be honest I didn't do a lot of editing on this piece and there are two reasons why. Firstly I wanted to get it done quickly and make sure I had it submitted before the due date as I don't get a lot of time on the computer these days. Secondly, I just got a new computer and it doesn't have a writing program on it yet so I had to write the entire piece directly into the text box, hence I only looked over it briefly before hitting submit. I am thankful that I didn't overlook any glaring spelling or grammar errors. I was a little worried that I had.
Thanks so much for your review. Report Review
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