Now I want to know what it is that Dominique did! And why Victoire felt so upset and betrayed by her sister! I think this one shot was absolutely brilliant and sort of wish that it was a short story, just so that I could get the full effect of what happened here. Like, what exactly qualified Dominique for a Mary-Sue? What was her big secret? What did Victoire do to Dominique to freak her out so much? What was Dom thinking during those insomiac nights? Why did Vic feel the need for revenge? The cliff hanger was just perfect though, and I do love how we have no idea who each character is until the very end. I think this deserves a ten! Report Review
I enjoyed it but I didn't really get it, sorry but it was really good I just didn't understand it. Report Review
Well, to start with, we haven't really seen much of these characters in the books, we've only heard them mentioned so i think you carried them out very well. Their thoughts and emotions just leaped from the words, and i couldy really feel what both characters were going through.
Victoire: So, from what i've gathered so far she's a very jealous, manipulative bitch. Apologies for swearing. Everything about her character was realistic. She had a very hateful personality as far as i could see. She was also incredibly two-faced.
Dominque: I think you really played with her emotions, at times i felt sorry for her but at other times i could see her as pathetic. she came across as very scared, but very honest, i just wish i knew what this secret was. onsidering you tried to portaray her as a Mary-sue character i have to admit you did a brilliant job!
Conclusion: So overall the characterization was very good, very very beleivable, you had me hooked:)
Plot: Very interesting plot, takes the hate between sieters to the extreme, i have to tell you. You show the jealous vibe so well and the whole lot was just very original yet realistic.
Mood: an almost hateful mood, quite dark and mysterious:)
Descriptive Language: you did a great job with it, i can tell you, you can tell you've tried very hard, but what the hell, if jk can put in the effort, then so can we:)
Conclusion: Everything was perfect, i loved it!
Goodluck in the future
Katiex Report Review
Wow. That was fantastic. I loved how you built up the suspense and made it impossible to look away - I just had to finish reading to find out who was doing it. I also like that you left a lot up in the air. Amazing!Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! I'm glad that you liked it so much! :) Thanks for leaving a review! Report Review
Didn't see that one coming! I actually think it fits the story challenge. All of us always see Victorie as this charming, Mary-Sue type character and this story is the total opposite. I had just one question though...what did Rose do? Steal Victorie's boyfriend?
On your request you asked if it was a creepy-ish type story. I thought it was alright, but not one of those chills up your arms, gut retching, nasty kind. It was a little more towards thriller, but I liked it none the less. There was an air of mystery to it, since we really don't know who is who yet. I kind of got it as I was going on, and in the end I did figure it out. Maybe you should recognize the characters at the beginning in context or something like that.
10/10! Great job! :)
--ron.weasleyxo from the forumsAuthor's Response: Hey thanks for the wonderful review! Yeah, reading over it, it is much more on the thriller side, but I'm alright with that, I'm not really into the gory stories. :) Thanks so much for the review and all your time and effort! Report Review
ahhh honestly one of my favorite reads by far.
i can't really tell you why; there was something about it
that just really captured me and brought me in; i think it
might have been the fact that i didn't really know what
was going on in the background, only the foreground, so
the whole story i was reading between the lines, trying
to figure out the real meaning behind it.
it was a bit creepy, but that isn't something you
should be concerned about; i liked it. the way you made
it sort of horrifying reminded me a lot of a story i read
a long time ago on here; its called the darkness by
xquillsxinkx, you should check it out if you're into gore
and violence and stuff.
you had a few grammar mistakes and spelling was off
a bit, and you even repeated things a few times but
i don't think you meant to, but i only noticed because i
read each word, digested it all very carefully so i could
give you the best review possible.
i'm dreadfully sorry if this didn't help you at all, because
all it really is is a huge compliment, but you deserve it.
you've become one of my favorite authors, just because
your pieces are so elaborate and detailed...they draw me
in quickly to the point where i cannot tear myself away.
once again, terrific job.
10 / 10, absolutely spectacular.Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much! That's a huge compliment! :) I'm glad it brought you in and made you think, that was kind of what I was going for.
Oh, good! I wanted it to be a bit creepy, you know? Hm, that's cool, I'll try to check that one out soon. :)
Oh! Thanks for bringing that to my attention, I'll read this over soon and try to pick that stuff out.
Haha, don't worry about it, I really appritiate everything you've said, and the little things you brought to my attention. :)
Thank you soo much for another wonderful review and your time and effort. Report Review
Hey there. This was definitely a creepy story, definitely worth reading, and I really enjoyed it! The suspense was great, and the POV switches were great. As it unfolded, I found myself wondering what on earth was going to happen... And how you kept the names a secret until the end was brilliant. The end wasn't totally unexpected, unless you mean the names of the characters, which I didn't think about. However, it was very, very good. The blood message was horrifyingly good. The first sentence is a little hard to read, a little too long and jumpy. The spacing is also a little distracting. Otherwise, fantastic!!!
~lllbAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you so much! That makes my day that it isn't terrible and it's worth reading! Awesome, awesome. Thank you so much.
Alrighty, I'll go and take a look at that stuff and tweak it a bit. Thanks a bundle for the great review and all your time and effort! Report Review
Ang! Hey, how are you!?
Wow, so I really enjoyed htis! This was another brilliant piece from you! It had everything a story could want, and I didn't think she was Mary-Sue at all. And the way it ended!
Wow! Just with her name was so powerful! Absolutely wonderful! Fantastic job, dear!
I have nothing more to say other than that!
10/10Author's Response: Hey :)
Yay! I'm so glad that you liked it, I was kind of worried that it was bad. :) Thanks sooo much for the wonderful review! Report Review
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