Reading Reviews for You Called Me James
  
64 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dililah99 Green Eyes: The Heart's Disguise

23rd August 2013:
amazabombs! please continue! B!

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #2, by Dililah99 Confessions in the Shrieking Shack

23rd August 2013:
good stuff, good stuff! B)

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Review #3, by Dililah99 The Marauders and Snivellus

23rd August 2013:
good stuff! B) keep it up!

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Review #4, by Dililah99 The Fifth Year

23rd August 2013:
cool beans! Keep it up! B)

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Review #5, by DixieGirl In Times Like These

13th July 2011:
Aww, poor, sweet little Severus, *She said with fake sweetness dripping in her words.*
Hee hee. I love you James Potter!
Nice story.

Author's Response: thank you for the lovely review! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #6, by jenny In Times Like These

31st January 2011:
Please write another story!:)

Author's Response: I plan to! it takes me a while juggling schoolwork, but I plan to write more :) thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #7, by Rubba_duckie In Times Like These

13th April 2010:
this was a really cutre story!!

Author's Response: thanks!! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #8, by Adrielne The Hogwarts Express

20th March 2010:
I don't like your non-canonness.

1. Professor Dippet wasn't headmaster in Marauder times. He was replaced by Albus Dumbledore in the sixties and the Marauders came to Hogwarts around 1971-72.

2. I don't believe the broom you mentioned is an actual broom. See "Quidditch through the ages" for details.

Author's Response: thank you for the review! the definition of fiction is: (n) an imaginative creation or a pretense that does not represent actuality but has been invented. since this is harry potter fan fiction, sticking to canon may not work in some cases, otherwise.we'd just be re-writing the harry potter books word for word, no? but thank you for the read and review!

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Review #9, by Adrielne The Fifth Year

20th March 2010:
I'm liking the beginning, though I think you might want to add a prologue to get some background information to the reader.

Author's Response: thank you!

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Review #10, by SeVeRuS LoVeR In Times Like These

20th February 2010:
Tht was cute :)) I little bit sudden but cute :))

Author's Response: thank you! thanks for the review :)

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Review #11, by Kirsty Weasley In Times Like These

19th February 2010:
aww! She realised she loves him! :D that was quick! But yay - Kirsty x

Author's Response: thanks for the review!! :)

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Review #12, by Harry and Ginny In Times Like These

19th February 2010:
wow! James and Lily are together! i liked the development that lead to it. especially how she confunded him. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: thank you! another chapter will come soon! thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #13, by Harry and Ginny You Called Me James

11th February 2010:
wow! this is a new development indeed... i liked how James kissed Lily so he could prove her that what he feels 4 her is true. i liked when James was shocked when Lily called him by his name. will u update soon please?^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: thank you!! yes, the next chapter is in validation :)

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Review #14, by Shell You Called Me James

11th February 2010:
WOOT! Great chapter!!! LOVE the last line! Awesome job!

Author's Response: thank you!!!

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Review #15, by Shell The Hogwarts Express

10th February 2010:
I loved Lily's statement about "previous acquaintances." It made me chuckle.

Note: Writing “although it is cliché to say it” right before a cliché does not actually excuse the cliché’s existence. You should never need to excuse your writing. Here’s tip: don’t ever use clichés. Ever. Your writing will be much stronger for it, trust me.

Liked this chapter even more. I'm starting to think you didn't need all the chapters up to Chapter 6. This almost feels like the beginning of a story.

Author's Response: thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #16, by Shell The Letters

10th February 2010:
1) Since James was never a prefect, it's unlikely he'd be made Head Boy.
2) Lily didn't live at Spinner's End. Snape did, and Petunia made fun of him for it. They merely lived in a nicer area nearby. Check the seventh book.
3) Lily stopped talking to Snape in fifth year, shortly after he first called her "Mudblood." Also in the seventh book.
4) Alice says Lily "abides by every school rule," which in your story is not true. She was outside the castle at night, and this is very against the rules at Hogwarts unless you have a teacher with you.

However... I like this chapter better than the others. A lot more actually happens in it.

Author's Response: yes, I'm aware of these things, but since it's fanfiction, I wanted to tweak things a bit so they'd work with the story. thank you for the read and the review!

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Review #17, by Shell A Short End to a Long Year

10th February 2010:
Aha! Fifth year, huh? I'd like to know this sooner. :)

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Review #18, by Shell Green Eyes: The Heart's Disguise

10th February 2010:
A few more inaccuracies: Sirius didn't "get by on his looks." He was brilliant like James, according to just about all the other characters. Also, Rowling's James probably wasn't very tall because he was almost exactly the same height as Harry, and Harry was short for most of his school career. Keep in mind accuracy makes your story more believable. Also, the OWLS are at the end of the year. Weeks can't have passed since they finished, because they're like final exams. Everyone goes home within a week or so.

Author's Response: since this is fanfiction, I just tweaked a few things to make them fit with the story. thank you for the read and the review!!

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Review #19, by Shell Green Eyes: The Heart's Disguise

10th February 2010:
A few more inaccuracies: Sirius didn't "get by on his looks." He was brilliant like James, according to just about all the other characters. Also, Rowling's James probably wasn't very tall because he was almost exactly the same height as Harry, and Harry was short for most of his school career. Keep in mind accuracy makes your story more believable.

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Review #20, by Shell Confessions in the Shrieking Shack

10th February 2010:
I'm a little confused. It would be nice to know what age the Marauders are. If I'm not mistaken, they're already Animagi, and that doesn't happen until they're older, but it's obvious by James' fifth year that he likes Lily. If you just mentioned what year they are, it would clear things up a lot.
And also... James said he "loved" Lily. This confession seems very junior high to me. If James is in his sixth or seventh year, I doubt he'd say it. Just a suggestion.

Author's Response: yes, the first chapter title is "The Fifth Year". sorry if that was confusing. thanks for the review!

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Review #21, by Shell The Marauders and Snivellus

10th February 2010:
"Levicorpus" is in fact a nonverbal spell, as is the counter spell "Liberacorpus." If you double check "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince," you'll see what I mean.
That said, I like your writing. I think you are good with dialogue, though you could tighten it up a little. It seems like sometimes your characters say stuff like "that is" when they would actually say "that's." Think about how people really talk: even the English use contractions a lot. If you read your dialogue aloud, you might get a better idea of how real it sounds. And it wouldn't hurt to try saying it all with an English accent! ;)
Also, eliminate some of your adverbs (words that end in -ly). Other than that, you have a lot of talent. Good work!

Author's Response: thank you! yes, again, since I'm writing fanfiction, (emphasis on the fiction) I changed a few things to fit with the story. But thank you for the idea about the dialogue...I'll have to try that! thank you for the review!!!

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Review #22, by Paloma Patil You Called Me James

10th February 2010:
That was darling. It was a wonderful moment between them, and very unexpected. Is there another chapter? I hope so - I've been really enjoying this.

Update soon.

Paloma

Author's Response: thank you! yes, the next chapter is written :)

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Review #23, by Kirsty Weasley You Called Me James

10th February 2010:
hehehehehehe! :D He kissed her, she didnt punch him AND she called him james. Love is so totally in the air :D - Kirsty xxx

Author's Response: thanks for the review!

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Review #24, by affusion A Short End to a Long Year

24th January 2010:
You have a good talent for letting time pass without being caught up in the drab and irrelevant, which I commend you on. This chapter wrapped up nicely, with a sweet turn in events; James and Lily's midnight meetings were a nice touch to a good story.

Author's Response: thank you for all your lovely reviews! I'm glad you enjoy my writing :)

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Review #25, by affusion Green Eyes: The Heart's Disguise

24th January 2010:
This chapter was lovely, it held all the silvery tone of a well told story, and the characters were believable and have already grown in such a short space of time. I really am in awe of your talent as a writer, good job!

Author's Response: what a wonderful comment! thank you!

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