WOW!! that was intense in a box with a big bow on it!! : D amazing story!! i loved it!! : DAuthor's Response: Gah, you're too kind! Really, your dedication to reviewing my fics is something I appreciate so, so much. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to get a review :)
I really wanted to show a different side to the whole Lily/James ship. They're generally portrayed as so perfect when they're together that I wanted to put this out there to contrast it.
Thanks for taking the time to read and review! Report Review
DANI, I AM IN LOFF WITH THIS.
Like, seriously. I absolutely adore the style of this piece and how short, but sweet it is. You said this was a new style for you, but it was impossible to tell and I thought that you pulled it off REALLY well.
I adored your take on Lily/James as well and how it was her who obviously betrayed him in some way. I thought that after his obvious adoration of her the dramatic must-go-lie-in-snow moment was actually very realistic. It's like how people go out for walks in the rain and such.
ALSO, THAT UNRAVELLING GLOVE. I really, really liked the symbolism and the message that it held. To me it seemed to illustrate the end of something that used to be warm and comfortable, but is now falling into disrepair, ie, THEIR RELATIONSHIP. I flipping loved that XD.
And, before I go, I must say that your description was beautiful. It was such an absolute pleasure to read and you clearly have a talent for it. I could really picture the scene in my head.
You are ahmazzzin.
Jane xxAuthor's Response: JANE, I AM IN LOFF WITH YOU.
Thank you so, so, so much for this review. You know how anxious I am about people's response to this and your review comes as such a relief :) And the fact that you liked this style means worlds coming from you!
Okay, you've hit the nail on the head in terms of a few things. First, the dramatic lie-in-the-snow moment as compared to walks in the rain is EXACTLY what I was going for. Second, YOU NOTICED THE UNRAVELLING GLOVE!OMG!OMG!OMG! I thought I was either incompetent or too deep with that, because no one else has commented on it :| So it makes me so incredibly happy that you picked up on it!!
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. Times a zillion.
You are incredible!! :D Report Review
"The absence of his gaze hits her like a thousand stampeding Hippogriffs crashing upon her, beating her, bruising her, breaking her." - BEST LINE EVER!
Simply put, I loved it. Every little bit of it. It's perfectly done -I want to know what it is that Lily's done yet at the same time, I find myself enjoying the mystery. Besides, James is my baby; I'd hate to see anything bad happen to him. You've done a great job with this. With each story of yours that I read, I become more and more impressed. Thanks so very much for writing this.Author's Response: That's my favourite line, too ^_^ I'm glad you liked it! I actually added it in literally minutes before I posted this. I re-read it and decided it was missing something, and volia. It was born! :)
I know, right? James is my baby too. I love him and I hate to have the unfortunate happen to him and not Lily (who I do love, but not as much as James!). But the plot bunny couldn't suppress itself.
Thank YOU for reading these stories of mine so far! Your words are so encouraging and remind me all over again why I love writing fan fiction all over again. Thanks again for you're lovely comments! Report Review
I really like your opening. I think it is well written and nicely constructed. Some of the sentences do seem a bit awkward though, try reading them out aloud to see how they sound when you speak them. I liked your descriptions, they were well written and I was able to visualize a lot. Good luck with this!Author's Response: I think the awkwardness is a result of the new style I tried out for this - I'll go back over and read it aloud and make some adjustments where I can :)
Thanks for the lovely review! :D Report Review
Hi there, it's Laur from ze forums reviewing for you!
so far I quite really like the way you started this story leaving us wondering what happened, very sneaky! and you're right nothing ever good happens in March, it's my birthday month as well! I quite like the way everything was described it was very nice and emotional and a really great start, love to see what happens next!
great job!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review! It's really appreciated!
It's actually a one-shot, just a snippet of Lily/James in an imperfect state (something I rarely see); however, it may be expanded at a later date. Report Review
I really liked it! Amazing job! Everyone gets sick of sugary sweet romance and wants something difference every once in a while. *claps and a cookie* - CharlyAuthor's Response: Thanks :D That's exactly what I wanted to show - the flip side of the coin!
Thanks so much. Your review was lovely and much appreciated! Report Review
I like this because, as much as I love James/Lily, it injects a little bit of reality into what is kind of a fairytale ship. I think your use of the present tense helps the reader feel Lily's anxiety. I love the "nothing good happens in March" theme.Author's Response: That's exactly what I was trying to get at :) There are so, so many fluffy L/Js out there, so I wanted to show the other side, the side that all relationships have.
I got that idea from a friend who mumbled it absently one day while we were waiting in the freezing cold for a ride :)
Thanks so much for the lovely review! It's really appreciated! Report Review
this is really good. i would love it if you made it a short story or you expanded it :)Author's Response: Thanks :) This was actually part of a short story, but I just don't have the time right now to go forward with it. Hopefully when the summer comes I can get going with it!
Thanks again! Report Review
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