Reading Reviews for Pretty mouth and my gray eyes
  
48 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lillylover22 Enlightened

23rd March 2011:
betcha hermione has a child that is dracos!!! 9/10

Author's Response: Hmm... your prediction skills are pretty good :)

Thanks for reading! xx


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Review #2, by Lillylover22 Prologue

23rd March 2011:
i quite like this!! 9/10 =]

Author's Response: I'm really happy that you do! Thanks for reading! :)

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Review #3, by Anon Inkling

14th January 2011:
I love this story! I love dramione fictions, but they are always too ooc or very unbelieveable. However, the way you have put together pieces ok deathly hallows in the flashbacks makes the backstory more intriguing and also all the readers(hopefully!) already are familiar with. I have read many stories on here where I had to sort of force myself to read the first few chapters to get myself into it but yours had me from the beginning! You write very well and are one of the best I have read on this site. I really look forward to continue reading what you have in store for us for this. I usually do not leave reviews, but I just knew I had to tell you how much I love it so you get some more motivation to keep writing! :)

xx

Author's Response: Aw, thank you, I'm glad you do! I've read a couple of really amazing ones, but I know what you mean. I don't like Dramiones that are too OOC or unbelievable, either. But this will stick to canon, albeit, with my version of Hermione and Draco stuck in. Yeah, I'm always going to have flashbacks so readers can know how they got together, so it isn't unrealistic. Aw, really? I'm so glad! Thank you so much! :) The next chapter isn't very far along, but after reading this, I'm going to take a stab at it. Thank you SO much for your encouragement! :)

Amandax


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Review #4, by minnedigits Inkling

18th August 2010:
Please continue with your story!!!
I really like it so far. It isn't one of those stories that seems totally and completely unplausible, but rather, has a sense of "could be" to it. I really hope you update soon. You keep writing, I'll keep reviewing! Promise.
10/10

Author's Response: I am, I swear! The next chapter is 10% done. I'm going to try and work on it more this week. I'm so glad that you like this! Well, I very much like sticking to canon but I love Hermione/Draco so I'm trying to make it as real as possible, you'll see that I'm keeping all the canon aspects in this. I will try! Haha, okay, I promise to keep updating!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #5, by forever lost hope Inkling

10th August 2010:
Amazing chapter. The scene was intense. I cannot wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad it came off that way because I tried to make it really serious. I will try to get the next chapter up soon!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #6, by hpluvr07 Inkling

2nd August 2010:
Draco!! Stop being a dumb ass and fight for your woman! :D I just want Ron to be a jerk and cheat on Hermione and Draco can jump in and save the day... is that really so much to ask?!?! :) Just kidding! But I really like your story and I like where it's going... Please update soon! :)

Author's Response: He will... later. Ron's too good for that. I'm really excited to get into this story. Haha, I'll see what I can do ;) Thank you, I really appreciate your encouragement! I will try! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #7, by Barette Inkling

15th July 2010:
Keep writing! I love the flashbacks and the plotline!

Author's Response: I will! I've got the next chapter mapped out, now all I need to do is write it. I'm really glad that you like the flashbacks and plot!

Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #8, by Barette Prologue

15th July 2010:
Heyy this is really good!! I'm a huge fan of Dramione and i love the way this is written, i like your writting style too (: Can't wait to read the next chapters!

Author's Response: Aw, well, thank you! I'm really glad that you like it! I like to read Dramione, too. It really means a lot that you like the writing of this :)

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by Pearlescent Inkling

1st July 2010:
Whoot! I'm seriously excited about this story. I love your characterizations. Also, Hermione and Draco's interactions feel very natural to me. I also love that Draco gets what the big deal is about Aurora immediately because of the sheer physical resemblance. I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep writing and I'll definitely keep reading.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you are excited about the story and that you love the characterizations. I really try hard to write Hermione and Draco in detail and I'm always worried he's a bit too OOC. When I'm writing I just try to visualize what would actually happen - nothing overly dramatic, just real conversations, so I'm glad that it comes off as natural. Yeah, I wanted there to be that moment where everything kind of stops, because it is a huge deal.

I'm really glad that you liked this because I'm a bit worried after the lack of reviews. And I will definitely try to get the next chapter out soon! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :)

Amandax


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Review #10, by dead_poet Inkling

29th June 2010:
i so enjoy your characterization of draco! i really like the little details you put up your characters like dracos scar. i'm intrigued about his motives to leave hermione.

favourite sentence:
"It wasnít until I reached out my hand that I realized that I was shaking. I grasped the frame in my hand and flipped it over."

don't worry about a slow plot. take all the time to create vivid characters. i really like authors who don't rush for events to events. you're doing a great job so far! :)

regards, christel

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you you do because I'm always worried he's a bit OOC. I put the details in because they all serve a purpose for later in the story. That'll be explained in the later chapters.

I'm glad you liked that line. I'm trying to make the chapters interesting to lead up to events. I'm trying to describe every character fully - the way I understand them, so far it's only been Hermione and Draco, but in the next chapter I'm introducing some other characters.

Hopefully, it doesn't feel like I'm dragging things on in chapters. Thank you for saying that because I was really worried about the lack of response for this chapter and now I'm afraid it's all just really cliche.

Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it! :)

Amandax


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Review #11, by chocolatebiscuit Inkling

28th June 2010:
Slightly cliche but the drama is good and the first chapter was strongly written.

Author's Response: I know, I know - but, I haven't revealed everything yet... I'm glad the drama is good and that you think my first chapter was strongly written because I had worked really hard on it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #12, by Jenn Enlightened

17th May 2010:
I'm loving this story. I think that...Hermione had Draco's baby. :D And now she's trying to tell him, and he's being too much of a prat so she can't stand to be in his company long enough to tell him.

I'm looking forward to your next update! Good luck and keep writing!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad that you are. Hmm... you're a lot closer to the truth than some of the other guesses, but you'll just have to wait and see :)

I've written about a quarter of the next chapter so I'll try to update asap! Thank you and I will! Thankyou for reading and reviewing! :)

Amanda


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Review #13, by readoholic Enlightened

5th April 2010:
Brilliant second chapter! I really liked it. I thought your writing was thoughtful and the setting just right. I found myself on the edge of my seat. What isn't Hermione telling him?! I can't wait to find out!
I hope my review of the first chapter was useful. I promise this one won't be as long as that one (not that that's difficult!).
I really liked the characterisation of Malfoy's mum; just how I imagined her really.
The only thing I would say is that I spotted just one awkward phrase where you repeated the same word (sorry, I have a bit of a thing for stuff like that!):
'ďItís Weasley isnít it?Ē I asked, not meeting her eyes, instead focusing on the WINDOW. The snow was still falling lightly and various people passed by the shop WINDOW.' I don't really think you need to put the second window in, but that's just me.
This chapter was brilliant! Can't wait to keep reading... Will Malfoy get married and what's Hermione not letting on?! Can't wait for your next update! Good luck, I'll be reading!

Author's Response: Aw, thankyou! I'm so glad that you did! Thankyou for the compliments on my writing. You'll find out soon!

It was very helpful, thank you so much. No problem, I love long reviews.

Yeah, I basically took everything we knew about her and wrote her dialogue from there.

No problem, I'll fix the wording. And don't be sorry! I know some authors get offended by criticism, but you're trying to help. Really, I love hard reviews that really pick everything apart.

Thankyou, I'm so happy that you think so! I'd be so glad if you kept reading! You'll have to wait and read, the next chapter is in the works! Thankyou so much for reviewing so well! I really do appreciate your criticism and thoughts!

Amandax


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Review #14, by readoholic Prologue

5th April 2010:
Hi! Heres your promised review!
First of all I'd like to say well done. I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more. I thought that it was a really sensitive portrayal of Malfoy and Hermione, and really realistic. I liked the way you weaved moments from 'The Deathly Hallows' into the flashbacks, especially the kiss between Ron and Hermione, viewed from the eyes of Malfoy. The scene in the classroom is brilliantly written; sometimes those moments can be a little cringey and a bit too flowery, but you handled it perfectly.
I would perhaps have liked to have seen a little more of Draco's insecurity and vulnerability during the Battle of Hogwarts, although I appreciate that you were focusing on his feelings towards Hermione. It might just be me, but when I read 'The Deathly Hallows' and 'The Half Blood Prince' I feel sympathetic for Malfoy more than anything, and I felt I wanted to feel a little more of his confusion.
There were also a few words that sounded a bit funny, as they had been used just moments before, for example:
"I RESTED my hands on either of her thighs and RESTED my forehead against hers." and "The faint flicker of the candle went out and we were enveloped in DARKNESS. I could barely make her out in the DARKNESS." These obviously aren't major things, but I really think this story is so good, these details could perfect it!
However, there were some excellent moments. I particularly enjoyed your use of short sentences and vocality of Malfoy's character when you wrote: "She was right, I was an idiot. I had just let her go."
I enjoyed the contrast between the present time in the cafe and the flashbacks, which really gave insight into their feelings for each other as the chapter wove on.

I picked up on a few gramatical errors:
- "They was nothing separating us, I pulled her flush against me and she pulled at my tie." Maybe you mean "THERE was nothing separating us?
- "Weasley, like the idiot he was brandished his wand in what he obviously thought was a threatening way." Maybe put a comma after "like the idiot he was(comma)" to have it as a separate clause?
- "the whole weight of Wizarding World was on his shoulders". Perhaps you meant "the whole weight of THE Wizarding World was on his shoulders"?
- "her miraculously soft brown and mine, steely gray". Possibly "herS miraculously soft brown, and mine steely gray".

I look forward to reading the next chapter, and will review that too! Really well written, and some truly beautiful writing. Hope this has been useful!
readoholic

Author's Response: Hi there!

Aw, thankyou, I'm glad that you enjoyed this :) Yeah, because I know Draco and Hermione don't end up together, so I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible and not making everything up. Perfectly? Thankyou! I don't write much of those intense scenes, but I'm glad you think it was well done.

Yeah, I will definitely have more of Draco's insecurity and vulnerability throughout the story. I will try to focus more on his feelings.

Yes, this needs to be edited... I don't want to get a beta for any of my stories, but I will look over this for weird wording and such. I will fix all the things you've pointed out, thankyou :)

I'm glad that you liked those moments. I do believe that shorter makes a bigger impact. Yes, the flashbacks woven in will continue throughout the story so readers get a better understanding of how Draco and Hermione came together.

I'm cringing at all these obvious errors that you've pointed out, I think an editing is in order. Thankyou so much for pointing those out, though, because I would have probably missed them.

Thankyou so much, I love when people tell me that my work is well-written and truly beautiful. This review has been so helpful, thankyou! And thank you for offering and giving me amazing constructive criticism!

Amandax


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Review #15, by purplewings721 Enlightened

23rd February 2010:
Once again Amanda, you've got me hooked. ;) I've been looking for a good Dramione fic, and I'm glad to say that I found it. So hurry up and update already! Haha jk. Anyways, awesome start and I'm dying to read more!
-Camila :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad that you like this! I'm trying, the next chapter is "in progress" ... meaning that I only have 200 or so words for it ;)

I'm so happy that you like this and thankyous so much for reading and reviewing, Camila!

Amandax

ps. Responding to your response of my review to your chapter... does that make sense? Yeah, and I'm a pretty slow updater, too, lol. That or I'm always starting new stories...

Haha, oh my gosh, I laughed reading about your dad wanting to go on his "Latin American Adventure." My dad is weird so we're always going to our chalet in Tremblant to go skiing... I hate skiing. And my sister always manages to fall off the chairlift. Anyways, random. I think I'm just going to start PMing you, because if people read our conversations, they'd just be like, wtf?


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Review #16, by forever lost hope Enlightened

21st January 2010:
Yay! I almost gave up waiting for an update. I'm glad I didn't though. I love this story so far.

Author's Response: Aw, I'd never abandon any of my stories, I'm sorry I made you think that! I will try to update faster, promise. I'm so happy you like it! :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #17, by JohnnyPickAlot Enlightened

9th January 2010:
Simply amazing so far.
Please do update soon. :D

Author's Response: Aw, thankyou! I'll try to update as soon as possible!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #18, by life_writtendown Prologue

8th January 2010:
psh rings...just hunks of metal really, easily replaced.

Author's Response: I guess it depends.. They signify a love that's bonded.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Casey Folk Enlightened

8th January 2010:
Hmm, I like how you put Astoria in there.
His parents are always in his business huh?

Author's Response: Yeah, I'm trying as much to keep to the original set thing. That's why Astoria's in it and yes, Draco's parents are really overly involved with his life.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by Casey Folk Prologue

8th January 2010:
I really liked it :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad :)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #21, by ItsUnconditional Enlightened

8th January 2010:
I love this story so far - how can I not? It's written amazingly and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's on here.
Dee, x

Author's Response: Aw, really? Thankyous so much! It makes me so happy that you think it's amazingly written! The next chapter is coming!

Thankyous for reading and reviewing!

Amandax


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Review #22, by AndThenTragedyStruck Enlightened

8th January 2010:
I liked the development here, and it's actually not that confusing. I'm sure that you're still piecing everything together. It seems well done, though.

And I'm guessing that Hermione got pregnant somewhere along the way, and that's why she's marrying Ron? Seems logical.

Keep it coming. I think that it's fabulous.

jess

Author's Response: Not much development, but it's coming. I remember after the first chapter some people were confused, I'm not because I know how everything will go and what happened. Yeah, everything will fit together. Aw, I'm so happy you think it's well done!

Hmm... no. I've gotten lots of theories and none of them are what happened, actually. Logical indeed, the truth is close to that, but not quite.

Aw, I'm so glad you think it's fabulous! Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :)

Amandax


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Review #23, by AndThenTragedyStruck Prologue

8th January 2010:
Well, I happen to like this quite a bit. I like your style and the way that it flows. the story seems compelling and you've pieced the flashbacks and narrative together well.

I like the beginning. keep it going.

jess

Author's Response: Well, I'm really happy that you do! Aw, I'm so glad you like my style, that makes me so happy that people appreciate it! Compelling? I'm glad you think so and I hope you continue to think so!

I'm so happy you like it. I will!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Amanda


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Review #24, by Ardeel Enlightened

8th January 2010:
Another good chapter! I like Draco's pov, which is strange because usually I don't lol. Your writing is pretty good, which is nice to read when someoen knows how to write =). I hope we see an update soon!

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad you think so! I was a bit unsure about it. I like writing it, but sometimes I'm worried that he's OOC.. I would have never thought I'd be writing a Dramione story. Aw, I'm glad you think so! Definitely, although I'm not sure how soon it'll be coming.

Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :)


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Review #25, by Ardeel Prologue

7th January 2010:
Very nice start! I like the flashbacks, it gives us a glimpse of what their relationship was like. I think this chapter should be titled "Coward." It seems appropriate =)

Nice job, I shall read on!

Author's Response: Thankyou! I'm glad you like the flashbacks, they'll eventually all piece together. Haha, maybe =)

Thankyous so much for reading and reviewing!


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