I always wondered what went on in his mind during the sixth book, with having to do the most unthinkable thing. You've captivated his thoughts and emotion just perfectly.
I guess I kinda feel sorry for Draco, especially in the sixth book. He never really gets a chance to be a normal kid; he's always having to do things with the death eaters. Even after the death of Voldemort, he's still having to do things that a normal kid would never dream of.
The sad thing is, he may never have a normal life. Like Ron, Harry and Hermione may have. It's a burden that he has to carry with him the rest of his life. Or at least, I know I would have that heavy weight upon my shoulders.
Wonderful work hun! ^_^
xxAuthor's Response: Alicia! You flatter me. Thank you so much for all the time you took to review, dear. Yes, Draco has always been such an interesting character to me. He just seems so... flawed. I wanted to explore his character a bit more, and I'm so glad that you thought it turned out OK. :) Thanks again! Report Review
Rin, that was fantastic.
The whole thing just felt so ... real. You captured Draco's emotions and his attitude so well. Even in his despair in Half-Blood Prince, he never gave up until the end, he still went through and almost did it, and I can imagine he had many more moments like when Harry saw him in the bathroom.
It was so interesting to see it from his point of view, I really enjoyed it.
Loved it, Rin. I really did :]
10/10Author's Response: Aw, Liam, I wake up this morning and suddenly there's this lovely review! AND it was left by you, so that was definitely a plus. Thank you so much, Liam, you have no idea how much this means to me. I'm really, really ecstatic that you enjoyed it. :)
Hey! =) This was wonderful! Draco has moments of losing control- and you chose one of the best sequences in HBP to analyze. You did a fantastic job emphasizing that he has done this before, the pressures weighing down upon him are so intense. Your description of the effects of the water, the depths of his determination, and the way he breaks down was amazing.
The writing in present tense worked. I have not read many where it does, but the action of it and the added intensity both worked to your advantage. Masterful choice. ;-)
Your flow was great. You really do have a talent for unadulterated storytelling. You show how Cannon Draco can be a favorite character.
*tackles with hugs* Brilliant. Fantastic. < x : - )Author's Response: Goodness, you\\\'re too nice! I\\\'m not exactly sure how to respond now. Really, it\\\'s just... wow. And thank you!
I\\\'m really glad you enjoyed reading Draco. I had a really hard time with him, which hopefully didn\\\'t show up in the writing, because I\\\'d never written him before. I\\\'m really pleased you liked him.
Thank you so much! I cannot express how happy you\\\'ve made me. :D Report Review
This is truly brilliant. I love the way you've delved into Draco's psyche at this time in HBP. He's the most interesting character to me in that book, and I'm glad you chose to focus on him. I think all of this thoughts are perfectly realistic and true, the way he's seeking comfort in his own way. His sense of shame at the whole thing keeps him hidden from the world. I love that even though he is hopeless, he still has a tiny bit of determination shining through... It just adds to the angst of it all because we know he fails! I love this!Author's Response: My gosh, thank you so, so much! I'm... well, I'm flattered, to tell the truth. I mean, all of your feedback is just amazing! And so, so lovely. Thank you so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed it as much as you did! I really like Draco as a character, just because he's so complex and angsty, and this was really my first time writing him. I'm glad you think it was a success! Thanks so much, again. You've made my month! Report Review
Awww. Poor Draco.he became so corrupted.but it's not all his fault. Seems like he's having a mental AND physical breakdown.Oh well. Update soon, hon.Author's Response: Thanks so much! I always appreciate comments and feedback. Report Review
It's really interesting, the way the coldness of the bathroom and the water are comforting, while usually comfort is associated with things that are warm. It makes sense, though, because to comfort himself Draco seeks isolation, not warmth from other people. I think you did a great job of capturing Draco's attitude, particularly his derisiveness, even towards himself.Author's Response: Gosh, I never even thought about that! But you're right, it does make sense. And thank you for the lovely review! I'm flattered. Your feedback is appreciated, and I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again! Report Review
I love this piece and what you've done with Draco's reflections. He's stuck between a rock and a hard place and honestly, it's too much for a 16-year-old boy. But the way he has resolved to do what he can and prove himself to everyone is admirable. I thought this was a terrific missing moment because we never get to see what he's thinking in the books, and I enjoyed how realistic and fitting this seems. Great job!!Author's Response: Gosh, thank you so much! I can't begin to describe how happy this has made me! I always felt sorry for Draco during the 6th book, so this is my "tribute" to him, if you will. ;) Thank you so much for dropping by and leaving such a wonderful review! Report Review
Writing about Draco visiting Moaning Myrtle's bathroom is a great "missing moment" from HBP and definitely something I've wondered about myself. I loved the description of him being friends with the door. It was a comical description but laced with self-consciousness and even self-derision. What I liked best about this one-shot was the symbolism of Draco trying to wash away his task and the burden he is feeling closing in on him.
Something seemed slightly off to me about Draco's voice. As a reader, I felt rather detached from him, or that he was detached from himself. That could be the effect you were going for, as Draco definitely showed signs of wanting to be detached from everything. However, especially since this was written in the first person and in present tense, I expected to experience a greater feeling of immediacy, urgency, and sympathy for Draco than I did. Still, I do think you managed to show how Draco was feeling overwhelmed and scared but was trying to talk himself into feeling more confident. Overall, I enjoyed this piece.Author's Response: Thanks so much for dropping by and giving me your feedback. I really appreciate it.
I'm really glad you enjoyed it, though I will admit it's not my best. As for the voice, nobody's ever commented on that before, but I will definitely go back and read through it again. Thanks for pointing that out to me.
Again, thanks so much for the review. I really appreciate it. Report Review
That was really, really good description in there. Every feeling was portrayed clearly and nicely. It was a piece I wouldn't have made go over 500 words, while you stretched it over a thousand. Nice writing, you have a distinct style. :DAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I really appreciate the feedback. "It was a piece I wouldn't have made go over 500 words, while you stretched it over a thousand." Is that a good or bad thing? :) I can't tell. XD Thanks so much, again! This review has made my morning. Go Claws! Report Review
Ohhh, wow, Rin that was amazing! I was just reading this to make sure my staff challenge entry wasn't too similar to yours, but wow :P This was so beautiful. And in one morning!?! Crazy good. I wanted to give Draco a big hug so bad :( A-mazing!
The last paragraph was my favourite, and I could really feel Draco throughout the entire piece. You did his character well, which could be difficult in this sort of situation (don't want to make him too sappy, but then not too emotionless either).
*hugs* Great job Rin! 10!
-CaitlinAuthor's Response: Caitlin! Wow, what a compliment! I'm really glad you stopped by here. Thanks so much. I'll be sure to check your staff challenge entry as well. I'm sure it will be absolutely amazing. *hugs* Thanks again! *hugs*
- Rin Report Review
Fantastic piece. Poor Draco, I have quite a soft spot for him. Your expression and mood is spot on. Well done :)Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the lovely review! It's made my day. :) Report Review
How did you write this in one morning? I know it's short but still...the emotion you were able to show in Draco was perfect. It seemed just like his character. The fact that it was in 1st POV made it even better. I don't think it could have had the same reaction if it was written in 3rd person.
The last paragraph is my favorite. Again, you achieved in bringing Draco's actual personality to the surface. Excellent job.
-Reyes91Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I'd only written Draco once before, and even then he was a minor character. I'm so glad you thought he wasn't OOC. Personally, I think my best work comes from whipping something up in the morning. Sometimes it's best not to think, you know? I'm absolutely flattered by this review. Thank you so, so much for the lovely feedback!
- Rin Report Review
Thats a good piece about Draco and his feelings. :) I feel like you have captured him quite well. There's just a little feeling that maybe there could be something more about how he wants to hide his weakness or how he fights against it before he breaks down to make the last bit of Draconess. But of course we all don't see him in exactly the same way. And I really feel like you have captured a lot of his conflict in how he feels the situation hopeless and doesn't really know what he wants and if he can do it. I liked the last line that he would show himself too.
I also liked how you showed how the bathroom was his safety and his hiding place and in some way reflected his feelings too. In the same way I liked how you wrote about the door like it was a friend of Draco's. Good job! :)Author's Response: Thanks so much! And yeah, that's a good idea. It would add a bit more of I wrote a little more of his weakness. Thanks for that! I'll probably go add it. And thanks again! What a lovely review. I really enjoyed describing the bathroom. :D I'm not sure why, exactly. I guess it was just fun.
Thanks so much for the wonderful review! It's brightened my day.
- Rin Report Review
When did you end up with TWELVE stories??
Seems like just the other day your were writing that one short story about Harry and his kids... Heehee.
Anyway, good job on this, it's a very nice write... though I think you should take a look at your summary cuz you've got a typo or two...
Cheers : )Author's Response: I couldn't find the typos. Would you mind pointing them out to me? Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
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