Hm. Interesting. ;D
Good job. ;D

Author's Response: thanks.. i havnt really been able to focus lately and havnt updated but i would really like too
:)

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sweet:) i liked this chap a lot:)

Author's Response: oh well thank you sorry it took to long for me to respond i normally do but i hadn't had one in a while so THANK YOU! ! ! i really love it. I'm so glad you like it the new chap will be up next week i hope im also writing more stories so i hope to get other stuff up. and i love your stuff two!

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This was a very nice piece. Marvelous! Post more!!

Author's Response: aw thank you i will try keep reading might be a while cause of finals

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OH MY GOD! i LUV IT BABE! its amazing...i repeat AMAZING...CANT wait for the next chapter!
-Nina

Author's Response: thanks it may take a while because of finals but i also want two more reviews so therew theres that LOVE YOU FOR REVIEWING!
xoxo dev

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yay!

Author's Response: im taking that as you liked it theres like one day for validation so check soon glad you liked it keep reviewing

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I think I will review... :D

Okay, so your story was...okay. Haha, I liked the background and charcacters and the whole idea of the story, but many things I didn't like. The first thing that caught my eye was the format. It really wasn't in actual paragraphs, and this kind of irritated me. Readers enjoy reading clean, clear paragraphs and formatting. Your story was a bit of a jumble. :( Maybe you could fix that? It shouldn't be too difficult, I promise!

Anyway, to the characters... I like your OC character and it was rather creative and original how you made her related to the family that owned the clothing store, Haha. And then I got to reading Blaise's POV. It seemed to me that Blaise sounded a lot like Alex, in the beginning at least. You might want to make him more of his own character, if you know what I mean. Later in his POV, though, when he described Draco and Pansy, I nearly laughed out loud when he described her as 'Pug face.' Haha, genius! :D

What I saw that you could expand on was the descriptions. For example, at the end when she saw Oliver(seeing as their best friends and brother and sister) you could exapand a little bit on that. She must feel something when she sees her brother for the first time in months! ;) And some of the dialogue was a bit confusing, especially the scene with the trio and Alex at the end. Honestly, I didn't really understand what they were talking about. But don't take that offensively! I'm just trying to help.

Okay so overall the idea of your story is pretty original. Your only problem is making the story clear and descriptive, which can be done with some free time and an open mind. :D I saw a few grammar mistakes that are worth checking over, but they aren't major. So all in all, a nice story that needs some work. A fixer upper that can be turned into a beautiful mansion. :D (Sorry, I'm a bit out of it, haha)

Hope you don't get angry or anything, I'm just trying to help! Good luck!
(And thank you for reviewing my story!)

Author's Response: wow thanks jman no i totaly get it um.. . . i have a beta (MY BFF) but yeah we've both been wicked busy and thanks i really just want to geet the basics down first then go back and fix the other stuff trust me it gets better i have a crappy segway at the end of three so and no im not angry and glad you liked it :D

xoxo devon

ps if you get a chance read my beta's stuff its DeleriousForSerius but its in my fav authors! ps my laptop has been giving me Word issues.

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hi.i love your story...itz very cute...chap one is really funny.but chap two is the best...i liked reading how Alex and Blaise bump into each other.cant wait for chap 3.plz rite more!
-nInA

Author's Response: thank you chap 2 was my fav to chap 3 is in the works 10 days scince yesterday which was the 15 so 9 more days i hope you keep reviewing!!

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lol, I love the end note. ANyway, I like it, but what's with the weird spacing? *grins* I like Alex already. :)

Author's Response: omg thaks so much katie and yeah i have to work that out im copying and pasting from word so hehe its being quirky!

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Yay! You know I love ya and you should be so proud of your first ever chapter :-)

Can't wait to read the next chapter. . .

Author's Response: wow casey thanks it means a lot to me that you were my first reviewer!

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