Nice story! I liked it very much!Author's Response: awww thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
the story was great...you did a good job i really love it!Author's Response: thank you! Report Review
Superb! Enjoyed reading this a great deal!Author's Response: thank you so much! Report Review
:)Author's Response: thank you! Report Review
I know what you mean. I've been working on getting my detail down, too. Describing rooms still screws me over... anywhooo..
I liked it. Potty-mouthed Potter is always entertaining!
It was good, dialogue dominated, but you write good dialogue, so who cares!Author's Response: i know, i'm absolutely terrible at doing the details and my writing is always dialogue dominated, but at least (thank god!) it's good, thank you! Report Review
lol, i liked it. and after an opening like that, im very happy with the way it turned out. write more please.Author's Response: well after that kind review i just may consider the possibility of a sequel! :D
Very nice! I really enjoyed this!Author's Response: thank you so much! Report Review
:D I so like this. You wrote this really well and the characters and dialogue were great. It could only get better if you drew it out a bit, make it a tad more romantic or special.
I think this is a brilliant one-shot. Well done!Author's Response: i'll consider that, thank you Report Review
I like this. They both want more, of course :)Author's Response: lol, yeah. Report Review
Loved it!!Very interesting!!;)Author's Response: ooh, so happy to hear it, thank you! Report Review
Okay, so i just read this and I have to say, I was surprised. It's surprisingly relatable, actually. Not only that, but Hermione and Harry are both perfectly written. I noticed someone said he was "ocish" which I agreed with at the beginning since it did start out rather rough for him (because of the swearing), but if you think about it, it is a more comfortable adult Harry with the same youthful temper. That was excellent that you managed to age him but retain his personality as JKR originally wrote him. That has to be really hard to do - I wouldn't know because I've never tried taking a young character into a older environment and personality. Anyway, I adored this story, and I would really really support perhaps... another chapter? :)
10/10.Author's Response: thank you, this is how i perceived his cursing as well (and also the fact that HP is a kids book also attributes to it's lack of "cruder" language, i think)
it means so much to me to read this review, not only for agreeing me on that count, but for that truly heartening compliment. Report Review
interesting - are you writting another chapter?Author's Response: sadly, probably no as any additional chapter would pretty much have to be smut, lol. Report Review
Before I begin, let me just say that I adore that quote at the beginning. I find that using quotes to open stories is a very effective method of setting the mood, and that's exactly what you did. It made me think about the quote and put me in the mindset for what I should be expecting with this story, which is a great way to draw readers in right away. Good job.
But you didn't stop there. To make sure I was really paying attention, you opened up the actual story with ANOTHER great grabber. That's just awesome. I love being plopped right in the middle of a scene, especially an argument. I like being confused at first and then learning what happened before I 'got there'. Another great tactic. You're scoring high, my dear. Earning major brownie points with me.
And I HATE Harry/Hermione.
I'm amazed at your characterizations here. At first I was a little put off by Harry's swearing, but seeing his temper rise like this was what really set him in character for me. Then I realized that his swearing was part of his temper getting out of control, which is SO Harry. I feel stupid for not seeing that right away, like you did. Hermione's character is also perfect - being sensible and resisting this temptation even in the most heated of moments. Perfect.
I'm amazed. How did you get me to believe this? How did you get me to be so into this? I hate this ship. But this was so awesome, I loved every word you wrote. Great job. Really impressive.
Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^
.:.Ilia.:.Author's Response: oh lord, i am so sorry, i wasn't aware of the fact that you hate the pairing. many apologies... many, many!
as for all of this... well... wow! i honestly don't know how to reply to such kind words, i never expected such a beautiful review, honestly! just... thank you, really, i appreciate this so much more than you ca possibly imagine! Report Review
I'm from the forums to review. I definitely though this was an interesting oneshot and well written. The first time Hermione speaks you forgot to start a new line, you need to do this. I want to warn you about your use of swears, you used very harsh language in this and that can turn some readers off. It also sounds a bit inmmature and makes Harry seem very OCCISH. I reccommend toning down the swearing and I suggest that you add some more descriptions.Other than that- Great jobAuthor's Response: thank you for reviewing. Report Review
I really enjoyed the story. I think that it was really well written and liked the lay out of the story.Author's Response: thank you very much! Report Review
As an avid fan of your writings, I have to say that your "practice" was written as well as your other pieces. I always did like the dialogue heavy writings of yours, I'm currently waiting for the next chapter of "In Retrospect". But, if you choose to try a longer piece in this style again, I will certainly be reading it.Author's Response: oh, thank you so much for this, you have no idea how heartening it is to receive a review of this caliber!
as for the next chapter of In Retrospect, well i just posted one two days ago, but am already working on the next one as well! Report Review
I don't really like reading stories with a lot of strong language like this one had, so I didn't enjoy all the cursing. I'm not much of a Hermione/Harry shipper either. Still, just because an author used words I don't much like and wrote about a ship I don't adore doesn't mean the writing isn't good. And your summary really drew me in.
Although I found your Harry and Hermione to be a bit OOC, there are plenty of fanfics I enjoy where the characters are OOC. In all, I think you did do a good job with description. You have a knack for creating intriguing scenes and revealing gradually.Author's Response: i apologize, i have a bit of a potty mouth, i know... it's a terrible trait, really. Report Review
Not bad. Good writing overall. Could have added a few more details, perhaps, but solid and enjoyable. It is pretty clear that (brilliant) dialolgue is your forte though :-).Author's Response: ak, and i tried so hard to be as detailed as i could be! but thank you for this note, it's a crucial one for me, really. Report Review
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