Does not match storyline Report Review
i liked the wandless magic.i wished to hex barty crouch jr. then and there Report Review
wonderful piece of writing.loved it Report Review
Is there a slash coming on here? XD Report Review
Nice can't wait to read on! Report Review
Sorry but who is Damian? The marauders were: Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin I don't remember reading about a Damian.
I apologize for bothering you because this was a great chapter but I'm very picky. Anyway thanks for another great chapter! Report Review
Nice! Leads off from the last chapter very well. Report Review
Awesome! Really introduces the story! I wanna keep reading :) Report Review
OMG! I would have loved to see Draco's face when Harry asked him to teach him how to dance! That would be hysterical! This story is amazing. I just love the idea of Harry going into his younger self's body. Is anyone going to start noticing the difference of how he acts? Cuz I'm sure that after everything he's been through at 22 he's a lot more mature than at 14. Oh god! Are you gonna make Draco have a crush on Harry? That's... Interesting, I guess,lol. 10/10. Update asap! Report Review
What an odd way to go about forming an alliance between Harry and Draco. What of Snape having seen the book exchange as well?
It is becoming increasingly clear what I have suspected from the start. Some sort of homosexual attraction between Draco and Harry, likely accompanied by Draco being homosexual and in the former timeline having relationships with Snape and possibly others.
I think you have to decide what you really want to do with this story. If you want to explore what might have happened going down that relationship pathway, fine. However, you started this story on the premise that all was lost in the future and the only hope for the wizarding world was for Harry to go back in time and set things on a different path. I doubt that the solution he was looking for in doing that will be found in who hooks up with whom.
After finding another valuable resource in the founders portrait, a room that according to the founders very few know about, why would he choose that location for dance lessons? He does not know Blaise Zabini, plus he includes Ron and Neville. The latter are certainly loyal to him, but not privy to what he knows.
If he wants to improve his dancing, he would be better served by working on his dancing with his dance partner, as would they all. This is ballroom dancing, not do your own thing. Hermione, being muggle born, would also not have the pureblood dancing background. Report Review
You certainly are throwing in a lot of interesting twists. So now we have versions of the founders who can assist Harry as well. Strange that Dumbledore would not have made better use of them.
I really do not know what to make of some of the interactions between Harry and Draco. You seem to be hinting at something, but it is based upon information that we the readers do not know. It is kind of like being present while others share an inside joke. Does not make your readers want to further engage, rather it pushes them away.
With time travel stories, individuals always come up against the same dilemma. Initially, they know everything that is going to happen. But as they change things, they change all that follows, so in short order, they know no more than everyone else. As a result they have to choose what they will change very carefully. Starting a romantic relationship with Hermione, revealing Barty Crouch, improved relations with Draco or Snape, as you indicated all of those come with a cost. Even the finding of the portrait with the founders has huge implications.
Time travellers do bring one other item, the knowledge and abilities that they have gathered. Voldemort, dumbledore, and others still think they are dealing with a 14 year old rather than someone in their twenties. On the other hand, in ones twenties there is still a lot to be learned. Report Review
Very interesting. Having Draco in the room at the end was a big surprise. I thought the room would not appear for naother if it was occupied.
As Harry develops his relationship with Hermione, how do you plan to deal with a jealous Ron? By this point ron had already developed feelings for Hermione.
I knew that Sectumsempera was going to be a problem for him, but I do not think that it is dark magic. i am surprised that Harry is not making a bit more of an effort to improve his relationship with Snape. At this point Harry is keeping things very much to himself, but at some point he will have to share some things.
A couple of things he can hopefully do is prevent the death of Cedric Diggory and reveal the imposter Moody sooner. He has already befun the process of that with Dumbledore.
You are doing a good job with this so far. Some small language errors but not many, and not worth dwelling on. Report Review
Okay amazing story and all, but i got confused in the end. Is Malfoy like gay or something, cause i don't get that. Anyways great chappie pls pls pls update soon.
sincerely, DEMMA LOVA Report Review
“Merlin, you must really like him.” Ok. I don't know what to make of this. Care to explain? I hope you update sooner the next chapter. Report Review
love it!! i cant wit for the next chapter!! Report Review
Not bad. I'll keep checking back. 9/10 Report Review
Good chapter but I expected a little more. I wonder if harry is going to tell anybody about the time travel thing. If he does I hope it's Snape. I really want to see a friendship between them! Sirius wouldn't be a bad choice either! And I hope we will see more of Malfoy. Update soon! Report Review
Omc, I love the founders! I really liked the way you portrayed them in the portrait. Report Review
I loved this chapter! I hope you can make the next chapters a bit longer. I wonder how Harry is going to deal with Snape and Draco. There's so much that you can write the way you have developped the story and I just can't wait to read them! Update soon! Report Review
i love this story. I rarely read Harry/Mione stories but this caught my eye. so far its doing really well. i love it. keep being fantastic. Report Review
now that's curious. I hadn't expected Draco quite this soon.
An interesting chapter, though I would have thought that Harry would be a bit more proactive in outing Crouch, especially with the Marauders map in his possession.
Nicely done, looking forward to your next chapter Report Review
Its interesting so far, I like the way you portray the characters in this fic especially. I can't wait for you to continue. =D Keep it up! Report Review
Well slowly we are getting more of the back story and that is good. With so much different from what we are used to though a summary would be good. It would be fairly easy at this point for him to either go off by himself and reflect on everything that had happened since that point in time, noting what he wanted to change or do so through a conversation with any number of folks at this point, Ron and Hermione, Dumbledore, Severus, Sirius. The concern there is tied to time travel perhaps, but it seems that he is not to be bothered with the running into yourself conundrum. If he tells nobody it will be hard to accomplish all the changes that he wants. He is after all only in his fourth year as I recall.
I do worry about the spell used to get the egg. Accio is not a problem, but Sectumsempera was a spell he had not learned before the Half-Blood Prince. It appears that he retains all of the spells and magic he gained since he was first at that point in time, so he has to be careful in what he uses or face lots of questions. Report Review
I applaud you for writing a story in a language other than what you normally use. There are some points where I would have suggested slightly different words or syntax, but those are minor and I will not dwell on them.
I always find stories involving time travel interesting as it gives opportunities to change things. This appears to be an interesting one, for several reasons. It is not clear at what point you have departed from canon. Harry travels back to the Triwizard tournament, so we can assume that there is something he needs to fix at that point. Norcruxes are mentioned, with a locket destroyed and others disappearing whcih raises some interesting points. The diary was a horcrux and destroyed before the Triwizard. I think the next horcrux destroyed, and where we found out about horcruxes really was the Guant ring that Dumbledore destroyed [from which he was so severely hurt that death was inevitable].
Severus and Draco are obviously good in this story, and that is a departure that needs to be further explained. In canon severus is good at the end, but to our knowledge Voldemort is unaware of that fact before he dies. We have a long lost Uncle, not sure from which side. America is not only involved, it has fallen. Judging from the magic Harry used he is still a very powerful wizard, perhaps the strongest among the defenders. My guess is that he is stronget than Voldemort perhaps, but the inability to get rid of all of the horcruxes prevents Voldemort from being killed.
Suddenly their last refuge is compromised and Harry heads back in time. I would have liked a little more background of how we got to where we were, and what had transpired different from what we normally would think from canon. There was a lot of time spent on the time turner being special and that being funny somehow as it connects to Severus and Draco. I really have no idea what that is referring to. I have come up with one possible guess, but as that seems irrelevant to the story at this point, I have no idea why you felt it should be included.
A fine start, I look forward to seeing how it progresses. Report Review
I don't care how you're gonna do it! I want to see what happens next. I love it and I hope that you intend to finish this story because somehow every time travel story I read is never finished. And I was wondering if you're going to cover all of their years or just their forth.update soon! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection