This was really interesting. I'm finding I really enjoy stories from the perspective of inanimate objects. The description in this was very powerful and I have a very clear image of everything that is going on. The description at the beginning was especially engaging - it drew me right into the story. And getting those glimpses into the life of Viktor Krum was compelling. Amazingly written and I may just have to add this to my favourites now!
REVIEWED FOR THE HOUSE CUP 2012 COMPETITIONAuthor's Response: So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for the kind review. I had a really tough time with this challenge when I wrote it, it was an experimental piece. :) cheers! Report Review
I chose to read this for our swap because I haven't really read a Viktor Krum story that I particularly was impressed with, but this, this impressed me. It might be because it actually wasn't really about Viktor so much as it was about the Goblet of Fire.
I adore stories that take unique perspectives and this was as unique as they come. Who'd have thought of taking the cup's viewpoint? The way you describe the flames, how it consumes the names of the unworthy and contemplates the names of the Champions. I especially like how the cup can tell history from a slip of paper, can get an idea of the character.
And I'm assuming at the end when it got a little confusing, this is when it was influenced by Crouch to spit out Harry's name.
This was brilliant!
xCharAuthor's Response: So glad you enjoyed it! Yes, the ending is a bit rocky, that is in fact when Crouch put the Confundus charm on the Goblet. If I ever revise this piece I may add a little bit there to make it clearer, but my intent was to Confund the reader a bit so I suppose it was partly successful :) Cheers! & I'm posting your swapped review momentarily! Report Review
So, I read this a couple of days ago and just been sitting here wondering how to review it.
Its very short, but lovely at the same time. Though, the ending is a bit tough to handle. I've had to read it a few times to figure out what was going on. It could also be that there is a large gap between the last and second last paragraph.
I really love that this is from the Goblet's pov. You could make a lovely short story collection out of this. Though, it is perfect with just Viktor's past. His memories are fleeting, we barely get a glimpse at part of his life before another appears. It is like a broken penseive. Though, this is a good thing. I rather like it this way.
I think my favourite memory of Viktors is when he receives his first broom. And while he knows he is talented as a Quidditch player, he knows that he needs his wits and knowledge too.
Such a lovely little one-shot, Mary. Just some tightening up on the ending and it would be even better. Though, I'm not sure how you can fix it, to be honest.
LenAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for your review, Len. I feel the same way about the ending and nothing has occurred to me yet that would make it more cohesive. I'll keep thinking about it. Maybe fixing the spacing would make it a little smoother. I wanted to have a surreal experience but not totally jarring if you get my meaning :)
I'm very glad you enjoyed the little peek into Viktor Krum's background. Writing one-shots so often inspires me to continue with the same characters / framework but I don't know when or if I would ever get to continue this. I know this story would have to come last in a collection, because you can only Confund the goblet once -- poor thing. This was an inspired challenge topic to be sure! I couldn't pass it up.
Thanks again! Report Review
I'm at a complete loss for words after reading that, so give me a second. :P
That was... well, to put it simply, it was brilliant. I mean really, it has got to be, by far, the most original and unique fanfiction I've read tonight (which is saying something, believe me). I have never, in all my years on HPFF, read anything about the Goblet. I mean... wow. The creativity and wit you have packed into this tiny one-shot just blows me away. So kudos to you, definitely.
Your writing style is also so unique, but also so very, very good. It stops and starts, jitters along and skips and hops. It is, my dear, beautiful. Truly. It has a certain ring to it that I can't quite describe, but I am absolutely in love with it.
This was breath taking. Really.
xx RinAuthor's Response: Thank you so much, Rin! I just saw this, and it made my day. I was never really satisfied with the ending, but I wanted to dramatize the Cup's succumbing to the spell. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
First, I believe that my reviewing of one of your pieces is long over due. I have been wanting to do so for so long now, but I felt you deserved a well thought out review, for which I needed some extra time, and now I seem to have it. That and the review chain I stumbled across on TGS reminded me of this.
Now onto the actual story. I love how this is from the Goblet of Fire's POV, it really surprised me when I began reading. Just wow. And then, the Goblet's description of television, it was wonderful. All your details and descriptions are so rich and indulgent. You stayed so true to the Goblet of Fire to the very end. That last line, though a bit confusing when read quickly, was a really interesting way to show the tricking of the Goblet.
I really enjoy how you portrayed Viktor as a very hard worker, "Distrusting of fame". That was nice to see. In the book Moody tells Harry that Viktor is being led by Karkaroff, but I think it is perfectly plausible that Moody was wrong. I am really liking the idea of a quiet, hard working Viktor!
Again great job! I really enjoyed this!
:)BaletGirAuthor's Response: Thank you, I appreciate it so much! I had fun writing this, but it's the hardest I've ever worked for a thousand words. I had a good time playing with surrealism and the form of the story -- writing the story also got me quite attached to Viktor Krum, I would love to write about him again sometime! Report Review
This was quite an interesting piece you have there, SiriuslyPeeved.
One criticism I have is the ending. It really doesn't seem to fit. In a piece solely about Viktor Krum, having Harry Potter thrown in at the end there doesn't really seem to mesh very well. Not that it focuses solely on Harry, granted, but I think it would be better fit if you didn't include Harry . . .
Though, I did like the Goblet's astonishment at the four champions. That made things interesting, to be honest.
If I have any more criticisms, at all, it was that you focused solely on Viktor. I know that the piece was supposed to be about him, but you merely glossed over Diggory and Fleur, I would have liked to see more insight on those pair. Though, I do think the thoughts of the goblet about Viktor was quite interesting.
I rather enjoyed reading this from the perspective from an inanimate object.
Your characterization of Viktor was quite interesting. I really adored the fact that while he was good at Quidditch, he didn't really apply himself in school . . .especially in his youth. I think that's very typical of young boys, and thus it seemed spot on.
It was very interesting that while Viktor appeared not to have a lion heart, the Goblet still considered him. I found that to be very interesting.
As far as grammar, spelling, and syntax go I didn't find anything glaringly obvious to correct.
Just like I said before, the last paragraph is iffy. It seems like it doesn't fit in with the context of the rest of the piece. This has nothing to do with spelling, grammar, or syntax; however. ;)
Over all, I would say good job! This couldn't have been easy to write, but I think that you pulled it off well.
LindersAuthor's Response: Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I did struggle with the ending: my intention was to show what happened to the Goblet's thought process when it was Confunded by Barty Crouch. The left turn into surrealism wasn't the most successful move I have made to end a story. ;)
The next time I revise this, I will keep your comments on hand. Thank you! Report Review
I think you wrote the Goblet's "voice" very well. And you wrote Krum's memories in a vivid way, especially with your attention to details like the red shutters.
I also love the stark contrast of the thoughts in the last paragraph, which seemed nonsensical and choppy, with the rest of the Goblet's thoughts, which are eloquent and measured.
Well done! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
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