Reading Reviews for Blurring the Edges
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by rachm34 Chapter One

18th May 2009:
Wow. This was another really good chapter. I'm getting the shivers again. Goodness gracious! You really write this pairing well.

I enjoyed the relationships you show that Minerva has with her family. I think it shows how well rounded you have made her character out to be. A lot of people will just go and skip families and focus more on friends but it's important to add families as well. Great job on this chapter.

Author's Response: Aw, really? *blushes* Thank you so much! I'm just taking it on as any other pairing and I'm really doing my best to keep both of them IC, which I think is the biggest challenge with this story. And I'm so glad you enjoyed her family! I think that family is a HUGE part of a person, so I thought it'd be nice to show that, seeing as it adds a layer to Minerva. ^_^

Thanks so much for the review, love!

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #2, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Chapter One

15th May 2009:
I'm back :)

Okay, so first things first, I really enjoyed the relationship you showed within Minerva's family: her relationship with her sister made me laugh a little - it was sweet and gave a sense of normality to a character that we usually see as so stern and an authority figure. I think it's important to define her as a younger character, and you did that excellently here.

The meeting with Tom was good. It was expected, but I liked the fact that he was on his own. His attitude towards Minerva was brilliantly contemptuous :P I was nodding in total agreement with the way you've portrayed him. His lack of respect for authority was perhaps a little surprising, since he's always perceived to be a bit of a teacher's pet, so I'd expect him to share such an attitude with Prefects and Head students, in not wanting to get on the wrong side of them, but I didn't think it was a disastrous move. It's certainly feasible.

I think the cheek that he showed her was perfect with the route that you've taken with the character's attitude. I'd expect Minerva to be surprised that authority figures aren't immune to such comments, and that not everyone is going to show them the same sort of respect.

I was, however, surprised that she wasn't aware of Tom. He was good looking, intelligent and seemingly such a perfect student, that I'd have thought his name would have been mentioned a lot, whether in public, on a trophy or just in passing. Anything's possible, though, since there's no evidence either way. Again it's not a detrimental point of the story.

I liked that you didn't really dwell on that first meeting as well. I think you could have ranted forever about how she felt, but by moving it on, it showed that they had no real relationship during those two years, and that she wasn't especially bothered by him. I liked the parallel of her falling down the stairs both times that they meet (excluding the Prefect meetings). It gave a sense of continuity to it, and it creates something unique between the two of them that they can share.

Another point that leapt out at me was that Tom didn't help her. You could have taken that route (and him out of character), but you resisted temptation. His little comments were fantastic but I found the best part was Minerva's total ignorance of his words. I'd imagine that would have bothered him!

My main criticism here was sentence structure. Spelling was fine, but often there were sentences that felt unfinished, and that continued in a new sentence. Something about it seemed a little awkward and out of place. It's not a big deal - maybe read it over again (I find that reading it on HPFF is easier than in a Word document) and see if you can spot anything. If not, PM me on TGS and I'll tell you what I mean in more detail.

Otherwise, I really enjoyed the chapter. I really appreciate that you avoided cliches and haven't taken the easy way out. It's obvious that the story has a goal and is going somewhere, which looking back at it, is probably aided by the prologue.

Brilliant, my dear!

Rachelle
x

Author's Response: Minerva and Clara just sort of came to me in my head and I felt that by expanding on her family life (if only a little) would help make Minerva a more well-rounded character. And as I said before, I'm a firm believer in there being a reason for everything and family certainly plays a big part in that. So while her family isn't strict, they are certainly rule-abiding citizens who don't allow too much nonsense in their house.

As for Tom, I'm glad you enjoyed him. I can understand him not acting like that in front of an authority figure, but at the same time, I envision Tom as being able to switch the charm off and on, you know? To the people that mattered, he would have definitely have given them the utmost respect. But Minerva is only a year older than him and I don't think (especially at that age) that he would have thought she was too important.

As for her knowing him, she definitely heard about him by her seventh year. But when she was fifteen, she didn't pay much attention to anyone outside of her circle. That was kind of her coming out year and she met him at the very beginning. Not to worry, Tom just hadn't really done anything at the beginning of his fourth year, so while he was known by his teachers, he wasn't really talked about by anyone else. At least in this story.

I'm glad that people are liking the fact that I didn't elaborate more on their first meeting. I really didn't see the point, but it was important to show the very first time they met. So it's there and then there's a jump and it seems that people like that. As well as the next times they meet. So thank you, it's nice to hear that the story is heading in the right direction.

As for the sentence structure, I completely understand. It's a bit of a problem of mine. I'm trying to break it, but old habits die hard. I don't know exactly why I started writing like that, but thank you for pointing it out. I'll definitely go back and reread and see what I can do.

Thanks so much for the brilliant review! You're amazing. ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #3, by PenguinsWillReignSupreme Prologue

15th May 2009:
Hey Alex!
Okay, first things first, I have never read this pairing before, so I was naturally intrigued to see how you handled it. I thought that, to start with, you were maybe taking Tom a little OOC, but then you reined it back in a couple of sentences later, which was great. I think the main concern with a Voldemort pairing is that you can make him something he isn't, but I think from the way Minerva talks about him, he's certainly the man/boy that we know he was.

The easiest part next: spelling and grammar. It was flawless, so no worries there. Some of your language use is brilliant: the two islands metaphor was fantastic. Your literary mastery (I'm not sure that makes a great deal of sense, but I hope you get what I mean!) made it really enjoyable, and though it seemed to give bits of the story away in parts, I think you made up for it in your ability in using literary devices to bring in the reader, rather than them just thinking 'I can see where this is going...'

Just skipping back to the characterisation, I really liked the vulnerability that you showed in Minerva. I really sympathised with her and felt her pain. I like the regret hanging over her, both for things in and out of her own control: the lack of care shown towards him in his upbringing, as well as her regret at not sticking by him.

Obviously we don't anything of Tom, but as I said above, I can see that you're sticking closely with his canon characterisation, which is refreshing (I said I haven't read this pairing before - it was a little lie, but the other stories made him very OOC so I didn't read further than a few lines).

I think it flowed relatively well. Sometimes I felt the paragraphs didn't really tie in with the one above: a few seemed to cut off in the wrong places, like it still belonged to the one above. I know it's difficult with the format of the page, though, so it's not really a huge deal.

The only thing I could criticise might be that I felt a little like I was being lectured by Minerva, rather than seeing her live through it. It might be an idea, later on, to look back and think about whether the prologue can be edited in any way to fix that. I wouldn't scrap it, it's too well written to consider that, but perhaps have a read through and see if anything can be explained in a different way.

Other than that, I really enjoyed the prologue. It was just the right length for a prologue and it draws the reader in.

Wonderful

- Rachelle from TGS
x

Author's Response: You have no idea how comforting it is to hear that Tom's on the right track. Writing someone like him is insanely difficult because, honestly, I don't have the slightest clue as to how his mind would work. But all I know is that he wasn't born that way and things had to gradually get there, so in this story, I really want to try to approach Tom like any other character, only his ending is a bit more extreme, you know? But don't worry, I'm not going to make him nice. ;)

As for the grammar and spelling, I can only take half credit. But I'll pass on the wonderful comment to my beta, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear that her work is appreciated. ^_^ Ilia definitely deserves props for editing through my chapters, I don't know what I'd do without her. And thank you for the rest of the compliments. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to my writing, but it's so nice to hear that I'm heading down the right path.

Again, I'm a strong believer in having reasons as to why characters are the way they are. Minerva wasn't always a strict, no nonsense woman. No one's born that way, you know? So at one point, there was a softer version of her. Her characteristics were still there, but so harsh, and the way I approached this prologue was that she was kind of falling back into her old vulnerability as she remembered back to a time when she was younger.

I understand completely about the flow. That's one of the things I'm trying to work on right now, since I have that problem a lot about things just a bit off so that the flow is disrupted.

As for the way the prologue was written, I totally understand where you're coming from. I tried writing this prologue in a couple different ways and this one just seemed to stick. But if/when I ever go back and edit this chapter, I'm definitely going to work on the structure of it so that Minerva might be talking to someone, or something of the sort. *shrugs* It's something for me to think about. ^_^

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this amazing review. Seriously, you're awesome. Sorry it took me so long to reply! *huggles*

-Alex ^_^


 Report Review

Review #4, by Phoenix_Flames Chapter One

15th May 2009:
YAY, you updated! This was wonderful! You are adding your own taste of uniqueness to Minerva, aren't your?

You're taking such a brilliant take on her! I love it! Well done!

9/10

Author's Response: Yay! You like Minerva! *grins* Yes, I'm trying to steer people away from the stereotypical Minerva. No one is born stern and serious, you know? You have to get there somehow and this story covers a huge factor in why she becomes so serious later in life.

Thanks for the review, love! *huggles* ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #5, by confusedlover Chapter One

14th May 2009:
very lovely.

this was another amazing chapter. i really liked that you added their first meeting at the beginning of this chapter but did not dwell within that year for the next few chapters. you have a very interesting way of going about this story and this certainly has a great deal of potential. nice work. keep on writing, dear.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying this! I felt that their initial meeting was a vital component of the story, but it had to be when they were younger, so I just wanted to mention it briefly. I'm happy to hear that it worked out well!

Thanks for stopping by and reviewing! ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #6, by llyralen Prologue

6th May 2009:
Hello dear! This is Llyralen from the TGS forums and I'm here to review on your story :)

Perhaps its a personal preference, I am not sure, but I would first like to address the structure of this chapter. I am a firm advocate of showing, not telling and I believe this would all have been more effective if you'd given us an image/metaphor rather than breaking the fourth wall. It would have been more chilling to actually show your readers what Tom had done to Minerva rather than telling them. Both evocatively and stylistically.

Personally, I think you would have done better without the prologue, scattering the information you gave here throughout the following chapters.

Another thing I've noticed is your language. Somehow, your diction and syntax doesn't seem to be reflective of what you're trying to achieve. A tired, old, broken Minerva with a mile's list worth of regrets and ills. Some of the line sound odd when read out (considering that it is an old woman speaking) This one stuck out the most

And over the years, as I watched what he turned into, I have regretted not sticking with him.

But it's nothing major. Some minor tweaking will do this a world of good. Perhaps try reading it out loud to yourself. See what sentences feel long or feel like some words could do with substitution.

But again, this may be a matter of preference and nothing more.

Perhaps, if you do intend to edit accordingly, you could make it so that she were telling someone. A final memoir. A story at her death bed. A final exposition of regret and torment. There are so many ways to present this without breaking the fourth wall. This prologue is excellently written, make no mistake of that, but what it needs is the proper frame to make it relevant to the novel itself.

In terms of the technicality of your writing, I am very impressed indeed. Your use of alliteration, parallelism and motif in your structure is quite well placed, only adding to the power of the emotion. It shows that you've given thought and effort to it, not just entering the blank page, willy nilly.

The idea is fantastic, and the characterization brilliant. I appreciate you writing Tom/Minerva because there is hardly any of it in the archives. I also like that you gave Minerva this soft vulnerability, contrasting/complementing to her strong and dominant nature.

The themes you raised in this prologue, the choice in/to love, regret, redemption, guilt, love, nature vs. nurture (was Voldemort evil to begin with or did something turn him so), etc. etc., it all hints for a very moving and deeply fulfilling fic.

I am excited to read more. Don't hesitate asking for more reviews.

- Rita

Author's Response: Rita, I completely understand what you're saying. Thank you SO much for finally pointing this all out to me. This prologue was written a million and one ways before I finally settled on writing it like this, but one of those experimental ways was, in fact, Minerva on her death bed. In my mind, this is the way this prologue is intended to be as well, but I never actually wrote it out, leaving it up to the reader to decide why exactly Minerva is remembering everything about Tom.

*is skipping around to answer your review* (I apologize about that. =P) I try to stay away from prologues when I can, because I tend to fall into this pattern, actually. I give the reader pretty much the ending (in a way) and then go back and explain myself. *shrugs* I don't exactly know why/how I developed that habit, but it's there. But I definitely see how it could be taking away from the story. I'll think about all that when I eventually edit this, for sure.

Again, the sentence you pointed out (among others that I found when I went back and reread it again), does seem a bit out of place. I will definitely be taking your advice and reading it out loud to myself when/if I edit this chapter. ^_^

I'm glad that you found the writing itself to be good. ^_^ I do put a lot of thought into what I write, so it's nice when people pick up on that, rather than just saying that it was good. =P

And I know! It really is disappointing, since I think they're such an excellent couple to explore. Because they were bound to have known each other, I'm sure, and really, who's to say that nothing happened between them? =]

As for Minerva's personality, I was trying to show her in a slightly different light as she lets her guard down to recall all these memories. There's still the strong, independent woman there, but for this prologue, she's vulnerable, yes. =]

Your review has been so helpful! Honestly, I can't thank you enough for this. ^_^ I'll definitely let you know when the next chapter is up. (It's actually in the queue right now.) Again, thank you so much for this review, dear! You're amazing. ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #7, by Stella Nightingale Prologue

5th May 2009:
hi, Laur here from the forums!

oh, I am really intrigued to keep reading this. I thought the description, and opening was great and then I got to the last line and I was like oooh! ha, really cool I quite liked how you did! I've never read a McGonagall/Riddle fan fiction before but I'm quite looking forward to reading yours - for sure!
I really thought it was excellent and you have nothing to worry about keep writing, really looking forward to reading more!

10/10!

Author's Response: I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed it so much! Pretty much no one seems to have read a McGonagall/Riddle story, so I'm really looking forward to exploring the pair and sharing the story with everyone here. I'll let you know when the next chapter is up, for sure. =]

Thanks for the review, dear! ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #8, by WeasleyTwins Prologue

24th April 2009:
Hello, WeasleyTwins here to review as requested. Sorry for the extensive delay :]

Okay, so I was going to do the whole formal review thing, but I just can't with this story. I'M HOOKED! That was absolutely brilliant. You have an absolutely gorgeous writing style that is exemplified in every word, every sentence that you have written. The description, the emotion, it was all utterly, completely, and totally provocative and I want more! I just can't describe to you how awesome this is! :]

I eagerly await a request from you when Chapter 2 is up :]

10/10

Shelby

Author's Response: Okay, so you've pretty much made my day. ^_^ I'm SO glad that you enjoyed this! It's so nice to hear reviews like this and I'm really excited that people are really liking this story already. It's a pairing that is not explored very often and so I'm looking forward to exploring the characters and their relationship in this story.

Thank you so much for the review, dear! I'll definitely let you know when the second chapter is up. ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #9, by emerald_moons Prologue

14th April 2009:
On your request, I review!

First off, I got very excited when I saw the pairing. I have never read it, and the probability of this pairing happening over others is much higher. They weren't that many years apart in school, after all.

Normally long paragraphs are a turn off, but you managed to pull me in, so that by the point the chapter ended, I was wondering, "It's over already?" I applaud you for that, as it's a difficult thing to do.

This is beautiful and flowing. You leave me wondering about the story! Re-request if you wish. :)

~Emmy

Author's Response: Oh, I know! There are not nearly enough stories about this pairing and considering I've never actually read one personally myself (just seen a -couple-), I figured, why not write it? Glad you like the idea!

And yes, I know people generally avoid long paragraphs like the plague, but that's sort of the style in which I write. I'm trying to work on that and split it up with dialogue, but seeing as that couldn't have happened in this chapter, I'm happy that the long paragraphs were fine on their own. =]

I will definitely come back to your review thread when I update. Thanks so much for the review, dear!

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #10, by alanapotter Prologue

13th April 2009:
Wow. I'm just going to sit here a sec in a stunned silence.

...

And I meant that in a good way. This was so wonderful, I don't even think I can put it in words. Firstly, I'm really a fan of dialogue over description, and this is, if not the first, one of about three maybe, pieces that I have read where I think dialogue would've actually ruined the piece --- which is saying a lot in my opinion.

This is a wonderful prologue, you've explained the past and all the events, some reasons, but you haven't told any details about these events, so your audience hungers for more. In addition, I love how you didn't put in their names until the end. On the other hand, I knew who it was (no, not because I looked at the summary thing, cause I didn't and was actually curious for the first couple paragraphs :]) after you started describing different emotions, so you've done really well on characterization.

I'm really curious to see where you take this, and I'm positive it will be absolutely splendid! I would love to see some more requests in my thread for this :]
-Jill

Author's Response: Oh jeez. *takes a deep breath* It's reviewers like you that really, honestly, make my day. It was so wonderful to sign on tonight and read this. In fact, I didn't reply for a couple of hours, 'cause I just don't know what to say. Seriously, you've made me smile like you cannot imagine.

I'm am SO glad that you liked this. I've always been someone who tends to go more into description than dialogue, but I'm so very happy that this one turned out well! And not only that, but I'm insanely pleased that you could guess who they were, simply from the writing! That's so nice to hear, especially since I'm very worried about characterizations.

I will definitely come back to ask for some more reviews from you! Thank you sooo much for this review. (Seriously, thank you.) You've made my day. ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #11, by confusedlover Prologue

13th April 2009:
very lovely.

i thought that this was an amazing piece of work. i understand that this is simply the first chapter but with what you have provided so far, i am truly hooked on this story. i have never had the chance to read a Voldemort/Minerva story, but even so, i am under the assumption that this has a nice dose of originality going for it. you did a lovely job with this prologue and i am very excited to find out where you decide to go with this. please do not hesitate to request again when you update. nice work. please continue writing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it! Really, I love to hear that I can expose people to new types of stories and ships and characters. ^_^ Too often people just write the same old story, so I'm very happy that you think this one is original! I hope you enjoy the rest of this story as well!

Thank you so much for the review!

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #12, by rachm34 Prologue

12th April 2009:
Ohhh. Can I just say...I'm getting shivers. This prologue was such a good opening! I thought you did a phenomonal job. I really really wanna know what will happen next.

The last line, was wonderful and such a way to wrap this prologue up.

I love how you have Minerva reflect upon what had happened and what not. Overall,all I really have to say is that this was brilliant. I hope that when you update you request a review.

Sorry this review was so short.

Author's Response: No worries on the review being short. You still made me smile! ^_^ It's so nice to hear that people are liking this story and I'm really glad that you enjoyed it as well! And yay for the ending! =]

Thanks so much for the review, dear! ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #13, by Femme_Fatale Prologue

12th April 2009:
Nice beginning. I'm intrigued already. I can't wait to see how you'll portray this ship.

Femme_Fatale ^_^

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you liked it! Hopefully you'll like the rest of the story too! ^_^ Thanks for taking the time to review, dear.

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #14, by babycakes93 Prologue

12th April 2009:
Hey, it's honeybabycakes1013 here with your requested review!
Wow. This really is beautifully written! Your words flow, they entice you, it's great. You've also really taken on something new here, I've never even heard of that pairing, and, honestly, McGonagall is usually a charactor portrayed as unfeeling and unmoveable, so I really like your fresh approach to her.
Through that whole chapter, I have one suggestion. In the paragraph that starts 'After all, how could I trust myself to love again?' in the third sentance, ones should be one's. That's it.
Great job, I've really enjoyed reading this!
10/10

~Honey

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much! You've never heard of this pairing? Huh. Well, it's rare, for sure, but it's out there! So I can't take credit for coming up with that. Haha. =] But I'm glad that you liked the way I decided to write Minerva and that you enjoyed the chapter as a whole. And thank you for pointing that mistake out! If I edit this chapter, I shall definitely change that.

Thanks so much for the review, dear! ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #15, by Flower n Prongs Prologue

12th April 2009:
Wow. This was very well written, I'm curious to where you're going with this. Everything that she said makes me wonder exactly what happened. Very good opening! 10/10 =)

Author's Response: I'm so happy to hear that you liked this! Thank you so much for the review, dear! ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #16, by Phoenix_Flames Prologue

12th April 2009:
Wow, great job!! This was fantatsic.

It was a bit short for my liking, but superb nonetheless. Ilia beta'ed for you?! WOW! Hehe. Imperssive!

You did a wonderful job with this and you wrote so compellingly. And it really does sound like this could be from the head of MMM. Wow, bloody brilliant chapter and I can't wait to see what you do with this story.

You ended it on a fantastic note. It wasn't a cliff, but it still left the reader dying for more.

So update soon! It was great! I have no cc. ;)

10/10

Author's Response: Your reviews always make me smile! (And blush!) I'm so glad you liked this! And I know it's short, but it's only a prologue. =P The rest of the chapters will be longer, promise. And yes, Ilia beta'd for me. ^_^

Oh, I'm so happy that it sounds in character! I was really worried that I was treating Minerva more like an OC than herself, but I'm glad to see that that's not the case! =] And yay for the ending! Hehe. =P

Thank you so much for the review, dear! And I most definitely will be updating soon! ^_^

-Alex


 Report Review

Review #17, by padme_alejandra Prologue

11th April 2009:
Interesting take on McGonagall and Voldemort. Good job, major brownie points for creativity :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm so happy you like it! And that you think it's creative. =P Thanks for the review, dear!

-Alex ^_^


 Report Review

Review #18, by darker side of happy Prologue

11th April 2009:
This was just...amazing.
I really hope you update very soon!!!
You did a wonderful job of writing and I love your writing style for this chapter!
I have become a big fan of Tom/Minerva and I'm always hunting for a fic of them, although thats hard to do.

I cant wait for a new update!!!

Author's Response: Aw, my very first review on this story! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And it's always nice to hear that my style is liked, since I'm really trying to work on perfecting that. ^_^ And yay! Another Tom/Minerva fan. I always liked the idea of something between them, so I went ahead and wrote it!

As for an update, the next chapter is ready to be submitted after another chapter for another story, so you can expect an update soon, hopefully. ^_^ Thank you so much for the review, dear!

-Alex


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login